Snarry Holidays

Jasper cat has to have his eye removed after all. There was a chance that the drops would treat his glaucoma but nonsuch luck.

It's scheduled for the fifteenth. I'm trying to be calm. But cats with their eyes stitched shut makes me want to vomit. And now my beautiful boy will be one of them. I am very squeamish when it involves the eye. Eye based horror is a no go. Even more than normal gore squeamish.

I am terrified. Jazzy is an old boy with kidney disease.

It's a less invasive surgery than the PU surgery my ginger baby didn't survive last year. But Jazzy is old with stage 1 kidney disease.

Miso was only 5 but his cascading organ failure centered in his kidneys before he died in July.

I still can't talk about Miso's death without crying.

It's a less invasive surgery but I'm still scared. I know it will happen eventually Jasper, Mushi and Sebastian are all old men. And even the baby, my little black cat, is turning 5. But if I lose another cat to surgery complications... I might break.

A great lead into my birthday and our 20th wedding anniversary on the 20th and 21st.

At least Aldi's had some Deutsche Küche cake and an apple strudel. Never had the cake before but it looked comforting.

I was going to get a kitten for my birthday because I had made progress in my grief but I don't want a kitten while Jazzy is vulnerable and recovering. Crossposted on IJ/LJ/DW.

Deleted most social media because people comparing the US to nazi Germany and suggesting people hoard years of food was making me anxious.

And having a public forum where I criticized things was a potential risk if they are right.

I am a ball of stress at all times. Crossposted on IJ/LJ/DW.