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snarrymod ([info]snarrymod) wrote in [info]snarry_games,
@ 2008-05-04 12:00:00

Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Entry tags:entry, joanwilder, team dragon

TEAM DRAGON ENTRY: RaeWhit "Down the Rabbit Hole"
Title: Down the Rabbit Hole
Author: [info]joanwilder (RaeWhit)
Team: Dragon
Genres: Postwar, Angst
Prompt: Separation Anxiety
Rating/Warnings/Kinks: NC-17
Word Count: 48,000+
Summary: For Harry and Snape, the war might be over, but the battle isn't.
A/N: Thanks to all of Team Dragon, for the camaraderie and teamwork par excellence. I'm so proud of all of you for pulling together, week after week, so that every one of us could do our best . A special smooch to the [info]snarrymods who continue to make the Games possible, year after year. To [info]jadzialove, my humble and heartfelt appreciation for all your diligence and support; I treasure you as a beta, writer, and friend. Thanks, too, [info]klynie1, for your assistance and support.
Disclaimer: Harry Potter and his universe belong to J.K. Rowling, Scholastic, Bloomsbury and Raincoast Books, and Warner Brothers, Inc. I make no money from writing fanfiction. It's my own private obsession.







"Down the Rabbit Hole by Raewhit"




Don't forget to review!




Mod note: POLLS ARE NOW CLOSED. THANK YOU FOR PARTICIPATING IN THE SNARRY GAMES.

Mod note: If you rec this story, please link to this POST, not the story itself, or the author/team will not get their proper vote tally or feedback. Thank you.




Mod note: Due to the length of this story, we will not be posting another until tomorrow morning. Thank you.

Sorry for the delay in posting, our mod account was in 'read-only' mode all morning. Thank you, [info]squeaky! Cheers!

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(Post a new comment)


[info]eonen
2008-05-09 08:10 am UTC (link)
What a truly remarkable story. I am so completely moved and shattered by it. For a while, I kind of thought how little it seemed to have to do with Harry Potter books per se and how much - with a specific life experience the author must have known some to have or had herself, and the relief at when it actually turned out to be a great deal about the Harry Potter books was tremendous. I then tried to figure out where you might have gotten an idea for a story like that - a brilliant and original one, to be sure, and my kids were watching "The Monster House" on the telly... I'm not saying that was it, but it could have been, right? Well, you took the idea and made it into something incredible. Thank you. Very much. I had enjoyed reading this as I have not enjoyed reading anything else in the games.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]joanwilder, 2008-05-09 11:28 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]eonen, 2008-05-09 11:41 am UTC

[info]venturous
2008-05-09 10:57 am UTC (link)
Where to begin? well, with the most wonderful thing of all about this amazing tale: The vibrancy of the love between Severus and Harry, as revealed in little perfect moment. It makes my heart sing, the way they connect. I can sometimes be impatient for the smut... but you made me savour the smallest things with a delicious pang of the heart. like their feet in each other's lap, *happy sigh*.
You write madness and despair so well I suspect you have had more than your share of experience, which I really appreciate, having been there myself.

I throw roses

(Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]joanwilder, 2008-05-09 11:31 am UTC

[info]calico_sky
2008-05-10 01:02 am UTC (link)
You sucked me in and kept me there. Nice pacing, too! :D

(Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]joanwilder, 2008-05-10 01:23 am UTC

[info]themostepotente
2008-05-10 01:51 pm UTC (link)
Joan, babe, I don't know how you do it. How do you consistently write OUTSTANDING novel length fics? You're good, you're quick and you're precise. I'm burning with jealousy, really. I probably set myself up to be the butt of a dragon joke by saying that, too :P

This was fabulous storytelling from beginning to end. I'm in awe of your skill, hon :-)

(Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]joanwilder, 2008-05-10 03:26 pm UTC

[info]chiakidark
2008-05-10 01:55 pm UTC (link)
[info]lilyseyes and I were talking after her interview here on [info]snarry_games... and how your story "Rite of Passage" was the fic that got us obsessedaddicted to Snarry.

This story was amazing. I usually have a hard time with angst, but saw that you wrote it and braved my way through the beginning of this fic. How terribly clever of you! I was so mystified and captivated, and then to find out about the castle and Binns and Harry-oh Harry-and of course Severus. I'm sorry for my rambling, but you leave me speechless!

This was a brilliant read. Thank you for sharing this with us. ♥ x a million.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]joanwilder, 2008-05-10 03:29 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]chiakidark, 2008-05-10 03:58 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]joanwilder, 2008-05-10 07:37 pm UTC

[info]aeryun
2008-05-10 03:04 pm UTC (link)
Good gawd woman, when you venture into Angst you jump full in don't you! And while the story was full of angst, I don't feel it was to the point of over done. While, I would have liked less, that is simply a matter of taste. It didn't feel like you were inventing things, just to keep the stress up. Everything had it's place, and that in turn crteated more power in the end.

Amazing story, more twists and turns than the Vortex. (King's Island Rolercoaster, for those that don't know) For the longest time I was convinced that something Albus did to protect Severus in the end was going to end up killing him. But your ending was much better than my imagined one. I feel bad for the castle, because in the end, it really did lose it's Champion.

Wonderfully done!
Hugs,
Aery

(Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]joanwilder, 2008-05-10 03:31 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]aeryun, 2008-05-10 11:48 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]joanwilder, 2008-05-11 12:03 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]aeryun, 2008-05-11 12:04 am UTC

[info]akuma_river
2008-05-10 04:54 pm UTC (link)
Brilliant story.

I love how the anxiety is a red herring and that the actual cause for Snape not being able to leave is because he will die if he goes too far and that it is 'punishment' for his transgressions.

This just goes to show the failings of artificial intelligence. I don't think the Castle has the intelligence of a five year old, it is more an animal. A five year old can at least understand complexities of things not being as they appear, that people are 'pretending' to be something else. An animal can only understand a threat and punishing that threat.

The Castle's personality actually made me think of HAL.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]joanwilder, 2008-05-10 07:40 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]akuma_river, 2008-05-10 07:47 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]joanwilder, 2008-05-10 08:39 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]akuma_river, 2008-05-10 10:09 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]joanwilder, 2008-05-10 10:13 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]akuma_river, 2008-05-10 10:30 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]joanwilder, 2008-05-10 10:52 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]akuma_river, 2008-05-10 11:10 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]joanwilder, 2008-05-10 11:16 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]akuma_river, 2008-05-10 11:54 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]joanwilder, 2008-05-10 11:59 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]akuma_river, 2008-05-11 12:06 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]joanwilder, 2008-05-11 12:13 am UTC

[info]bethbethbeth
2008-05-12 02:35 am UTC (link)
The castle as a sentient (but almost alien) entity, Binns "fleshed out" (so to speak), the slow ebb and flow of Harry and Snape's developing relationship: all these are wonderful. But what I think I might take with me in the end is the way in which this whole story can be read as an extended (hopeful) metaphor for breaking free from the cycle of depression. So well done...I'm definitely adding this to my recs page when I next update!

(Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]joanwilder, 2008-05-12 03:21 pm UTC

[info]aliciamasters
2008-05-12 05:57 pm UTC (link)
I thought this story was simply spectacular. I was lured in by the tea, and Snape's agoraphobia, and Harry's caretaking... I couldn't stop hoping for him to be cured. I never realized that it was something more until Snape collapsed in the hall. At that moment, I knew there was something else, because that level of will should've been able to make some kind of change.

Once there was the big reveal, of course, that first year was powerful and disturbing. Thank goodness for Binns, or Snape would've died. Snape's attitude, modified from the years of reading self-help, really mellowed him enough to be a decent partner to Harry.

Harry's journey was the most compelling. I can't help thinking some of his friends must've believed he was addicted to something, since he disappeared, was secretive, lied, was unreachable, etc. I love how he casts the net around Minerva, who thinks she has to shop for him since he has trouble leaving. What a good excuse that was!

The more I thought about this story, the more I had to read it again. I love how this makes the perfect excuse for what happened to his body. Interesting. The idea that Snape never wants to set foot in the castle is probably his wisest thought. EVER.

Thanks for such an amazing, thought-provoking piece. Your writing is unsurpassed. You are so brilliant! Thanks, thanks, and thanks again!

(Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]joanwilder, 2008-05-12 08:32 pm UTC

[info]athenakt
2008-05-14 04:36 pm UTC (link)
*rapturous applause*

*standing ovation*

*roses and underwear strewn across the stage*

A fantastic piece of work. You definitely have tons of insight into the human psyche and its weaknesses. On top of that, a well written and original concept. Brava!

(Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]joanwilder, 2008-05-15 04:11 am UTC

[info]rakina
2008-05-14 09:07 pm UTC (link)
What a scary, fascinating, compelling story, with Binns as the White Rabbit, perhaps?
It had me on the edge of my seat, feeling Harry's desperate frustration and need to get Severus out of there. Lovely work, as ever, captain!

(Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]joanwilder, 2008-05-15 04:13 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]rakina, 2008-05-15 09:10 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]joanwilder, 2008-05-16 01:18 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]rakina, 2008-05-16 04:43 pm UTC
(no subject) - [info]joanwilder, 2008-05-16 07:01 pm UTC

[info]fitofpique
2008-05-15 07:02 pm UTC (link)
Wow! What an amazing story! I'm sorry it's taken me ages to comment, but I finally had a chance to sit down with this last night and read it all in one sitting. It was incredibly compelling! I found myself getting very emotional, much as Harry did, as I got deeper and deeper into the mystery. I think you structured a really complex narrative very deftly and paced it perfectly, and I admire your writing! So clean and crisp. Brilliant job, Capitan!

(Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]joanwilder, 2008-05-16 01:19 am UTC
Wonderful!
[info]coconut_rum
2008-05-17 10:47 pm UTC (link)
Well-written, original, and compelling. Best post-DH story I've read (with all due respect to the other fine post-DH stories in the Games). I'm already looking forward to re-reading it after the Games are over.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

Re: Wonderful! - [info]joanwilder, 2008-05-19 05:07 am UTC

[info]leni_jess
2008-05-20 12:13 am UTC (link)
Impressive! Complex, and angst galore. I'd have liked to see more of a recovering Snape at the end, but we have the promise of it.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]joanwilder, 2008-05-20 12:19 am UTC
(no subject) - [info]leni_jess, 2008-05-20 02:10 am UTC

[info]leela_cat
2008-05-20 12:18 am UTC (link)
I love sentient!Hogwarts stories, and this is one of the best. I can definitely see the castle deciding to punish Snape for what happened during his tenure. And what an inventive punishment.

Thank you.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]joanwilder, 2008-05-20 12:22 am UTC

[info]psych_nut
2008-05-20 06:30 am UTC (link)
I loved this (not that I should be surprised - I've enjoyed everything you've written). I've nearly finished doctoral graduate training in psychology, so in the beginning, I was so interested in seeing what treatments Harry and Severus had tried. Then, when I learned the castle was punishing Severus, the rest of the story was just so gripping as I waited to see how everything would be resolved - gripping to the point that I really should have gone to bed a couple hours ago :-). I saw in one of your comment replies that there might be a companion piece with other characters' reactions, and I look forward to reading it.

Also, I really liked how Binns was an important character in this. His role in the story and his overall characterization were original and unexpected.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]joanwilder, 2008-05-20 08:14 am UTC
Thank you for the story
[info]ethereal_swan
2008-05-23 10:19 am UTC (link)
Because of real-life committments, I had to read this over 3 separate days, and the "I wanna know what happens next" tension (what does Binns know? What will Harry do? etc) was almost overwhelming. What a good yarn, you totally drew me in.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

Re: Thank you for the story - [info]joanwilder, 2008-05-24 03:14 am UTC

[info]hogwartshoney
2008-05-27 03:03 am UTC (link)
What an excellent fic! I really liked the idea of the castle having a personality of its own and that it both protected and incarcerated Severus for his wrongdoings.
Binns was refreshing - we hardly see him much in fan fiction and you made excellent use of him, both in his knowledge of history and in his special tie to the castle. I enjoyed the mystery and found myself getting anxious along with Harry as he paced and cajoled and worked tirelessly to find an answer.

Well done.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]joanwilder, 2008-05-27 04:25 am UTC

[info]winoniel
2008-05-27 03:58 am UTC (link)
What a delicious story! I particularly liked the relationship of Binns and the sentient castle--I found that a really different take on the ghost.

The slow building of suspense, combined with the parcelling out of background details kept me enraptured from the very beginning. I didn't realize until you told me that Harry couldn't speak about Severus--I thought he was just trying to hide it from his friends! I can imagine how worried everyone one was with what they viewed as his instrospection and isolation--and found it particularly poignant that yet again, Harry's circumstances kept him from having a 'normal' life, poor thing! He still felt as if no one really saw the real him.

I thought you handled the revelation of the mystery magnificently, and still managed to keep up (and ramp up!) the angst factor. Your portrayal of a beautifully mature Harry was well done, as were the psychological aspects of Severus' imprisonment. The phoenix/dragon debate was also a nice touch!

(Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]joanwilder, 2008-05-27 04:29 am UTC

(Anonymous)
2008-05-30 02:37 pm UTC (link)
I adored this. I found the first half incredibly difficult to read as I'm a chronic agoraphobic myself and Severus' fears and anxiety, his desperation and the feeling of fighting an faceless enemy all rang so truly to me. Why bother getting up and dressed? No-one will see you, you're not going anywhere...and of course, the never admitted acceptance that comes late at night, when you can't sleep; that you can live like this, really, because it's become all you know and you don't know how to be any other way. And I loved how true you stayed to that.

I resonated so strongly with Severus in this, it felt like reading back times in the last five years that I've been at my worst. I always worry when agoraphobia is mentioned in fic, it hits me too hard, especially if it's not dealt with sensitively and with a truth in it...but it was by you and I couldn't not read it. I'm glad I did. This was just perfect.

I began to suspect all was not clear when Severus fainted when he showed Harry his symptoms - no agoraphobic faints, as much as we fear it. The hyperventilation makes it impossible to pass out - but that's rather specialised knowledge, so I had a little bit of an advantage, lol.

I must admit, my mind turned totally away from all of that as the mystery began to unfold. I adore a good old mystery (it's because I'm English, I'm sure...) and this really lived up to that. It was so complicated and thought provoking within becoming bogged down by unnecessary twists and turns, it was long and well-developed, but I didn't feel like I'd been reading forever just to get to the end. Every scene was important to the story and it barely seemed that a good hour had passed.

I adore Harry and Severus' relationship in this. Not every love affair is straight out of Russian literature, lol. The sense of quiet, of need, of acceptance and love...it was breathtaking and more poignant for it.

I'm rambling, so I'll stop. ;-)

Just know that you really touched me deeply with this, and for that, I offer what little I can - my heartfelt appreciation and thanks.

Tori (tillyoulostme@LJ)

(Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]joanwilder, 2008-05-31 01:11 am UTC

[info]angelbabecj
2008-05-30 10:07 pm UTC (link)
Oh my. Wow. I have the hugest lump in my throat from that ending. Utterly, painfully perfect.

I love the pacing of the story, how different parts were revealed only when they became necessary not purely exposition.

I love how you dealt with the agoraphobic reaction, the little quirks Harry and Snape developed and I really like the character of the castle (although I thought for a second the form was going to be a dragon).

I so much (as I hope you can tell), particularly Harry and Snape's characterisations which are removed from canon in a way that it is clear how they got from one place to the other.

All over fantastic. :D :D

(Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]joanwilder, 2008-05-31 01:16 am UTC

[info]ex_modernlov612
2008-06-07 04:41 am UTC (link)
This was wonderful. The mystery of Severus's illness would not let me walk away from this story. God, and as I read my heart broke a little more for the two of them. But that ending! Oh, when Harry runs out and sees Severus, I swear my heart stopped. The flow of the story was fantastic. It all worked together so well. Really great job!

(Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]joanwilder, 2008-06-07 05:06 am UTC

[info]szefi
2008-06-10 07:17 am UTC (link)
This was a fascinating story. I love mysteries a lot, and you kept up well the tension with Harry not able to tell anyone about Severus for so long. Well done, again:)

(Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]joanwilder, 2008-06-10 07:20 am UTC

[info]venturous
2008-06-27 07:37 pm UTC (link)
this story continues to haunt me. And the Billy Joel song you contributed to the playlist, well, every time I hear it, I melt . It's as if I tap into a deep well of grief, and it hurts so good to let it breathe.

"...and you can have this heart to break."
guh.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]joanwilder, 2008-06-28 07:11 pm UTC

[info]loupgarou1750
2008-07-13 08:40 pm UTC (link)
Damn.

I read it and couldn't find the words to express what I wanted to express. Read it again and same thing. It's now two months later, and I've read it a third time and damn it, I can't keep saying nothing! You're pretty amazing. The agoraphobia and depression was handled so well, as was the mystery of just exactly what was happening, as was the slow, careful way bits and pieces were revealed and then fell into place. Great building of tension and heartache and empathy. I've only read one, maybe two, other fics where the castle was a character and this representation is by far the most memorable and interesting, and I completely loved Binns as a character and his relationship with the castle. See, I still don't have the words, but I have the fic, and for that I thank you. Did I say you were amazing? You are, you know.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

(no subject) - [info]joanwilder, 2008-07-14 10:05 pm UTC

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