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Tweak says, "i wanna be like you!!"

James "Prongs" Potter (_cervus_) wrote in snapthread,
@ 2019-03-28 12:19:00

Entry tags:

james potter, remus lupin, sirius black

Who: Moony, Padfoot & Prongs
What: James' arrival
Where: The square
When: After this
Rating: E for emotions??

James took a deep breath and dropped the little metal box down beside him. His head was starting to pound slightly, remnants of the day’s earlier headache starting to take root behind his eyes. He slumped forward a little, spine curving as he rubbed his eyelids beneath his glasses.

Despite the messages continuing to arrive on the machine beside him, he felt utterly lost. One moment he’d been crossing the landing at home, and the next… well, he’d been shivering in this unfamiliar square, fresh air nipping at his skin. The primary emotion, after the momentary disorientation, had been panic. He'd spun around, looking for Lily and the baby, already knowing they wouldn't be there. Fear clawed it's way violently up his throat, dread winding tightly around his chest.

It had taken him a little while to pick up the box on the table, to try pressing the buttons. And then messages had started coming back, filling his head with so much stuff that it was suddenly hard to breathe, let alone think straight. Finding his friends had been an almost painfully huge relief, but even that had eventually left a bitter taste at the back of his mouth. It all felt wrong somehow. Twisted and warped.

Merlin, where were they??

It seemed like an age before he heard someone arrive in the quiet square. James jumped to his feet, his wand suddenly finding it's way to his hand as he peered across the open space, muscles curled tight as a spring across his back.

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beingsirius
2019-04-07 02:38 am UTC (link)

There it all was again, and Sirius found that of all things, he could not look James in the face while Remus explained to him what had happened. He just-- couldn't. He couldn't really look at Remus either though, because it was hard enough keeping himself together, his tears had sprung again and it blurred out his vision most completely anyway. The dirt had been no good thing to be focusing on anyway.

"It wasn't supposed to be like this," Sirius said, wrecked. "I'm sorry. I'm really sorry."

And it was just -- it was stupid. Because an apology would mean nothing to him, he was sure, if someone told him he'd died. He didn't expect it would be any different for James, particularly when he wasn't the only person. Lily too. And who even knew what would have happened to little Harry -- who wasn't even born yet, in Sirius' world. But of course Sirius loved him anyway, because he was James' kid and that meant he was family.

And he'd have been all alone.

Sirius wasn't sure what to do, not really. Not right now. If anything, even without being shocked over the story and the truths in it, this felt so much worse than the first time he'd heard it. He sneaked a glance over at Remus, rubbing at his eyes the whole time and --just. Well, he didn't know what to do. Hugs felt a little lacking, in terms of plans.

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_cervus_
2019-04-10 10:27 am UTC (link)

It was like being knocked off your broom by a bludger. That was all he could compare it to. The sudden driving of air from his lungs. The reeling, falling sensation. The tunnel vision and sense of sudden horror.

James hadn’t thought he’d die. Not really. Of course, he’d known it was a possibility – maybe more than that - but it was an abstract, far away kind of thing. Everyone died eventually, after all. You just never thought about it.

But Lily.

And Harry.

And they all wanted him to say something. They were both looking so fucking upset, and all James wanted to do was make some joke so that they’d stop. But his head was full of some weird, fuzzy cloud, and all he could think about were the words which were still echoing through his ears. The wall was still behind him, and he was glad because his legs suddenly didn’t feel up to the job of supporting him and this new information.

James sunk down, sitting a little too heavily on the cold brick wall, his attention slipping down to the floor as he did his best to work this out. All at once, his hands felt very cold and his chest was too tight, like someone had tied a rope around his ribs. This didn’t make sense. They had it all planned out – it was all arranged. The charm would be set and they’d stay stuffed in the house for as long as they needed to. It couldn’t be broken, not unless…

Shit.

If Remus was working with Dumbledore, and Sirius was... well, Sirius. Then that only left one person.

Something clicked heavily into place, at exactly the same time as James’ stomach turned over and lurched upwards. Almost too late, he spun around and vomited, his whole body cramping and curling painfully, muscles squeezed way too tight across his chest and back.

Once he was done, James forced himself to look back at Remus and Sirius, dragging the back of his hand across his mouth. He noticed, as if from a long was away, that he was shaking. They didn't know, James realised. They didn't know what he'd done. How stupid he was.

"I.." His voice didn't sound like him. James took a deep breath, which caught in his throat. "Pete. We changed... was it him?"

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lonewolfen
2019-04-11 06:14 pm UTC (link)

It had nearly ripped his heart out of his chest to have to tell Sirius everything that had happened. Remus had barely made it out of that conversation without completely wrecking himself. With James, it was harder. It was so much harder to be telling someone his own fate. What a horrible thing; to tell someone they were going to die. And not just him, but his wife too. His son was left an orphan. And for what? Because some dark wizard wanted to get his way and would kill anyone who dared defy him. It made Remus sick, and had he not already gone through the violent stream of emotions ranging from screaming, crying, isolation and -- just like James, vomiting -- he would've been doing the same thing now. As it was, he was just silently crying. But inside, he felt like he was the murderer.

When James sunk down to the ground, Remus looked at Sirius first, then moved closer to James and knelt by him.

"...What.. Peter? But he--" He stopped, trying to put together what James meant. He supposed he had to get to the next part, too. "James, everyone blamed Sirius for selling your lives to Voldemort because they believed he was your Secret Keeper. Pete, he-- He supposedly went after Sirius but was killed. Allegedly, by Sirius. All anyone could find of him was a finger, along with twelve other Muggles who died in the explosion. The Aurors, they took Sirius away, to Azkaban. When I was able to get away from the pack, to come home, it was too late. No one would listen to me when I said he was innocent. Dumbledore sent Harry away. I don't know where. Somewhere he'd be safe, he said. But... But what did you mean, you changed? What were you saying about Peter?" He chanced reaching out, placing a hand on James' shoulder and Merlin -- the validation of physical touch, to really feel that James was alive and breathing instead of cold and rigid had a whole fresh set of tears spilling down his cheeks.

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beingsirius
2019-04-11 08:58 pm UTC (link)

"Oh, mate," Sirius said when James turned to upend everything in his stomach to the ground instead, and it felt like a weird thing to be saying, like he was only a second away from teasing James for not knowing how to hold his liquor, or for eating something idiotic on a dare instead of what was actually happening here -- a bout of nerves and shock and horror.

It sank in eventually though, even though Sirius felt dangerously close to nervous giggles, even though that made no sense at all. He leaned in closer, hand on James' ankle and then back and then shoulder -- whatever, they were all sort of squirming now. And Remus was there too, and so Sirius put his other hand on the small of his back as they went on talking, more rehash but --

But then something clicked. "He changed secret keepers," he said dully, filling in the blanks with the obvious -- or what was now obvious now that James had said even a little something. "Because I'm too obvious. It was Peter."

Peter who had ratted them out. Peter who had lead evil to the home of their best friends, and who had pinned it on Sirius and let him suffer and rot for a crime he hadn't done, and left Remus with no one at all, and Harry orphaned.

James was in shock and Sirius was going to kill their fourth if he ever did see him again.

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