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Tweak says, "I saw it with my own eye."

Leia Organa Solo (yourhighnessnes) wrote in snapthread,
@ 2019-12-03 21:01:00

Entry tags:

leia organa, remus lupin

WHO: Leia Organa & Remus Lupin
WHAT: Leia finds Remus for a chat, about hairiness.
WHERE: Library and possibly moving on to COFFEE
WHEN: December 3rd

Her trip through the doors had been quite productive, and again another positive experience to build on, from the terrible experience that was now over a month behind her. She’d acquired some nice decorations, hanging snowflakes with a bit of sparkle and the like. No doubt the magic users here, as Remus had suggested would be able to hang them, and probably enhance them in some way, they were rather clever like that. A lot of the backpack was taken up by snacks too, things Leia hoped about be appreciated by guests, once the event came together. Most importantly, of course were the several blocks of chocolate she’d brought back for Remus specifically; one because he'd asked, and two perhaps for the slight sensation stirring in her stomach that was a mix of apprehension and something very close to guilt. After all, she’d not warned the wizard that she wanted to discuss his condition - it didn’t really feel completely right.

Not that it hadn’t been made public earlier in the year, but - well it still seemed a bit abrupt of her to expect he’d talk with her about it, when the creature that had bitten her behind the doors seemed to have infected her too.

Remus had mentioned that he usually worked in the Library and went to COFFEE in the afternoons for tea - which sounded a lovely opportunity to meet and talk, of course also to share tea but Leia also had some concerns it might be better if she met him a little earlier, he’d have a choice; perhaps they could have the option to head elsewhere to talk? Or continue on to COFFEE - that felt a little less, like she was cornering him, added to the fact that he always had the option to decline.

Heading into the Library, she looked about idly as she wandered - it’d been a little while since she’d come here. But it was a nice facility to have available, generally always guaranteed to be peaceful and quiet as one would expect of a Library. Not that it was exactly a constantly bustling town, but that wasn't the point. Leia found Remus the gift of chocolate in hand, smiling to him in greeting. "Apologies that I’m a little earlier than expected. I thought it might be better to catch you before you left."

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yourhighnessnes
2019-12-06 11:15 pm UTC (link)

Leia took a seat with him, shuffling the chair in. “Thank you. I apologise for practically- ambushing you on such a private matter Remus.” Leia insisted with an earnest expression, her gaze held to him. “But- I” Her cut off suggested she was out of solutions, her shoulders shrugging slowly. “I didn’t know what else to do.” She admitted. Leia, herself was generally very private about most things, she kept her emotions guarded and the more formal demeanor she’d been practically raised with did well to aid that; yet now there was a slight urgency, perhaps fear, highly unusual for her. Were it not the aspect of being a danger and the need to do something to prevent that - well she may never have told anyone and handle whatever happened self-sufficiently.

Leia liked to be prepared where she could, conversations like this? Well that just couldn’t be done. Was there a softer way to begin? A way not to simply let out all that had happened? She didn’t think so. “I should probably start with a little more context.” She decided, glancing at the table, briefly and a long sort of sigh. “When the doors changed, and they started locking people into those dangerous situations-” It was made generally public, right? Perhaps Remus or Sirius experienced it too? “Master Siri and I encountered a creature, a giant sort of wolf- neither of us knew what it was and in the process of defending ourselves I was bitten by it.” That, and the graveness that had settled over her expression said far more than the words that, well seemed to just keep coming did, Leia supposed, but there was no sense in quieting either.

“It ..healed unnaturally quickly and I- didn’t really think that much of it.” The stupidity, even carelessness of that thought only really resonated in saying it. But their world did have sentient giant wolves, and no such monster lore, so werewolves weren’t the first creature that came to mind.“Then the full moon came, and I was fortunate the door in my spare room held out that night.” It likely wouldn’t again, though she had a mind to reinforce it. She remembered what had happened to Remus, and how he had prepared the town that one full moon. There was no indication their experiences where the same, there were so many differing worlds - but, truthfully this was frightening and she'd needed to do something.

“I don’t really know what I’m even asking you, if I’m honest-” Leia noted dryly, as if she were growing frustrated with her own words, all she’d done was recount what had happened. Though below the table, she was wringing her hands, lightly. “I just- I don’t want to hurt anyone here.”

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lonewolfen
2019-12-10 01:17 pm UTC (link)

This was certainly not the conversation Remus had been expecting to have with Leia that day. He thought maybe it would be about party decorations or maybe that she needed a magical fix to something. Really, he could've come up with dozens of potential topics and none of them included werewolves. Even though he'd been trying to get better about acceptance in terms of what he was, he didn't think he'd ever get past his own shame. Finding out that she'd been bitten and from the sounds of it she'd already turned once, well, that wasn't great news. It was good to hear that she hadn't broken out and potentially hurt anyone, but that was probably of little comfort to her in the grand scheme of things. She must have been terrified; his heart went out to her there because he knew exactly how that felt.

Were her hands on the table, Remus would have placed one of his over hers to try to help calm her nerves. As it was, he could only offer a kind smile. "You didn't hurt anyone, and that is to be commended," he said. "I understand how you must be feeling, though. You didn't this time, but what about the next full moon?"

This was hard. Remus did not want to project his experience on her. The people here weren't like those back where he came from who actively outcast werewolves as social pariahs. But he also couldn't tell her what to do about telling everyone her secret.

"Do you.. Do you have recollections of the night's events? Do you remember anything about it at all?" Remus wanted to see if her experience was like his. He knew just from reading his books of supernatural lore that the conditions of being a werewolf, what powers they had, what weaknesses, all were very different. His experience could be very different than hers.

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yourhighnessnes
2019-12-16 01:49 pm UTC (link)

“Exactly-” He’d pinpointed it at once, containing herself in a room had been a risk in itself, and she’d been fortunate, perhaps because it was a new experience or- for whatever reason, it hadn’t managed to break out. “It, just doesn’t feel assurance enough to hope a barricaded door holds out the entire evening.” Not given the door barely held out, similar experiences or not. There had to be other options.

“Mostly- I think, I do.” Leia’s brow furrowed, that was generally a vague assessment, which she knew wasn’t helpful. “I have memories but- it’s-” She started to shake her head slowly, not in a manner which deemed she was growing more upset, just confused, vague perhaps, not quite knowing how to describe it. As if it wasn’t connected to her. “It doesn’t feel the same though. Not in the way I think- as I am now. It was all- instinct, and rage. Wanting to break out of the space, to hunt?” A normal animal wouldn’t behave entirely like that either she thought, perhaps a starved, half-mad Nexu might? “The beast we encountered was the same, aggressive without provocation, it was on two legs, but also moved on four- so it was slightly humanoid.” The energy she was doubtlessly giving off, anxious with it’s hints of fear, Leia was already small in stature, and normally overcame it with a bolder, and take-charge sort of attitude; she was quite the opposite in this moment. “Does that sound ..familiar?” She wondered even if she felt, there was a touch of awkwardness in asking such a thing.

“I’m not wanting to make this your problem Remus.” She added in what was a genuinely kind tone. Well, not any more than already being a Werewolf was a problem of its own. Leia couldn’t imagine anyone in Starklandia not having a soft spot of this young man, and his want to insure the safety of this town to the point of endangering himself. He had enough, without managing her own Werewolf issues. “It’s not information I mean to burden you with in any way-” It was merely, perhaps they could devise something to keep her away from others.

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lonewolfen
2019-12-16 08:00 pm UTC (link)

Remus tilted his head and began to listen as she described the events of the night of the full moon. It made him feel a bit guilty, as his own evening had been far less violent. Though he'd been saving most of the vials of wolfsbane potion he'd received, he sometimes took it so that he and Sirius could run around and actually enjoy the night without fear of injury or Moony getting out of the woods again. They'd spent the night running around in the snow rough housing until they'd exhausted themselves, then went back into their house and curled up together until the sun came up. Wolfsbane was really a miracle worker.

That said, as she explained to him certain aspects of the night, it was clear to him that she was not of the same species as him and therefore he wasn't sure if the potion would do her any good. If he thought it would, he would share it, but also with caution because it was a limited supply. He and Sirius could try to duplicate it, but there were risks involved in terms of potency and certain ingredients not mixing properly.

"I must assure you, I do not consider you or your affliction a burden," he said. "Of course I would like to help you, but I must say, it sounds as though your run in with lycanthropy is different from my own. You've seen the wolf form I take. It is far more similar to that of a true wolf, not at all humanoid. Even so, there are things we can do, and actions we can take to help prevent harm from befalling you or the town. The reason the situation became so dire before was because at the time, Sirius and James were unable to help me the way they normally would due to the sickness that took over the town. I have a potion, one that was given to me by the powers that be here that back where I'm from is exceedingly rare and expensive. It helps the werewolf retain their human mind throughout the course of the full moon. I have a limited amount, but I would be willing to let you try it. I could take some as well. Even if it doesn't work for you, it would work for me and I could help and observe you throughout the night."

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yourhighnessnes
2019-12-19 02:12 pm UTC (link)

"I do remember that. The wolf I encountered was quite different."
Leia nodded thoughtfully, his appearance might not have seemed so monstrous on first glance, but varied in the fact he was far more savage than a true wolf, much more dangerous. "I suppose it’s not so bizarre for worlds to have parallel types of creatures." This potion? To keep one’s mind sounded the answer, to be able to think through the insatiable rage and will to hunt. But, expensive, and exceedingly rare? And matters of biological differences might mean it would be of no use at all to her particular branch of the affliction. "Thank you. But, I’m not sure I’d feel comfortable drawing from your supplies. Especially knowing how well it works for you." If their efforts were about keeping the town safe, she wouldn’t want to waste any opportunity for Remus to capture that. This experiment could only be wasted on her.

"Observe me?" The level of risk inherent seemed clear in the tone of her voice, and the look that came over her. "What makes you think I wouldn’t try to eat you, or ..hurt you in some way?" Of course she’d never seen her particular version of this monster interact with unfamiliar animals as opposed to their aggression toward humans, and if she thought on it, her inclination, as best she could fathom in that wolf-brain was an interest toward finding prey - she couldn’t quite remember if it’d been specific as to what.

But there might be something in it, something that would be helpful to understanding how it worked. Observation by someone who'd lived through this, again and again. Someone who knew, despite their differences, how this condition worked. "The ones we were attacked by were in a pack at the time, after all. Perhaps they recognise other wolves?" Even, ones of a different species, or whatever it was one divided Werewolf-types into. "If- we can orchestrate something, where you’d have a means of keeping yourself safe if it doesn’t go as planned?"

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lonewolfen
2019-12-20 05:16 pm UTC (link)

The tricky thing about other worldly creatures, was that it was nearly impossible to get any answers without having first hand experience. Remus didn't know what it was that bit her. They couldn't even be certain it was a werewolf. It could've been whatever the people of that world called those creatures. He had some information to base guesses off of, but not enough to have any confirmed answers. The two of them could speculate for hours, days, leading all the way up to the full moon. And while Remus loved a good hypothesis, he wanted to give her as much reassurance in answers as he could.

They needed to look at the facts they did have. Something bit her, she transformed into something during the full moon, she felt the urge to hunt. She posed a danger to herself and to others and needed help. That was what they knew. So now they needed to figure out what they could do to combat it.

"I save the vials for extreme circumstances. If I'd had them when Sirius was sick and couldn't keep up with me in his animagus form, I would've taken it and spared the town having to fend me off all night," he said. "This, I believe, warrants taking it. I'm not afraid of what bit you, or what form you'll take when you transform. I'm afraid of how it will affect you emotionally. I understand, I do. I know what it's like to be afraid of yourself and what you can do. If I can help you, I swear I will."

Remus thought a little more on it. "Werewolves prefer to roam in packs, though they do also operate as rogues at times. The wolves in my world don't have any particular hunger or desire to harm or consume other animals. That's why Sirius, my partner, that's why he takes the form of a dog on the full moon. He can be with me, and I won't hurt him. My werewolf form actually is quite fond of the dog and I know considers him part of his pack. I wonder, if perhaps, the form you take would meet me and feel that same pack mentality. It is possible, at least," he said. "I'm also certain that if things don't go accordingly, there can be measures put in place to keep everyone safe. The reason we couldn't contain it before was because the other wizards who were here at the time were sick, and not able to perform their magic the way they normally would. And Tony Stark did not want to put me in the containment pod unless absolutely necessary because, bless him, he did not want me to harm myself. But it does not appear you had that reaction at being contained, but rather just frustration that you couldn't get out. So if we need to contain you, that's also a possibility."

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yourhighnessnes
2019-12-21 01:10 pm UTC (link)

Again, Leia turned momentarily silent, if only because he understood, in a way she was entirely certain no one else could. The first time she’d awoken in the room, with every sign that she was a hair’s breadth from breaking out - but she hadn’t, even so she had practically held her breath for the day that followed, in case there was any alerts on the network for some sort of injury or attack, in case there was some part of the evening she didn’t remember, and she had almost immediately began to fear what she’d do next time the full moon rose and had, as the days had passed isolated herself. “Thank you.” Again? could she say it enough? “If it’s truly something you can spare, it would- mean a great deal.”

For the first time, likely in their entire conversation, Leia found herself smiling, weakly and still a touch bewildered perhaps but still there. Remus spoke of Sirius’ abilities, and that he could take the form of a dog, which while it was a control measure to keep his wolf engaged and focused, there was a sense of devotion to it too, to be able to spend time with his partner, even at what Remus would consider his ‘worst’, Leia supposed. Leia had already taken measures to figure out how to now separate facets of the life she had made here in order to protect what she had from this monthly event. “That’s quite incredible, I’m glad he’s here with you.” She couldn’t help but say. Her experience was brand new and already she felt more inclined to seek isolation as a safety measure, even in the weeks between. To have a companion as Remus did now, must be life changing for him - and now he was reaching out to her. “It makes sense they’d recognise their fellow pack animals and they’d want to run with them.” With the assurance they’d be safe, it would be worth a shot.

“No. I didn’t want to hurt myself.” Leia confirmed, she’d just experienced frustration, and anger and a sense of being caged, she thought it all the worse Remus’ version of the wolf experienced the will to harm itself in such circumstances. “If you and Sirius were both to agree to this- then I’d be willing to try it. Perhaps I should approach Tony as well see about some kind of containment that he’d have fashioned for you .” There was a wry expression about the Princess as if she was trying to lighten matters. “Consider it research opportunity?”

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lonewolfen
2019-12-24 01:33 am UTC (link)

Remus shook his head. "You don't have to thank me, although I understand how it feels to be grateful to find kindness from someone when faced with this affliction." He hadn't seen a lot of that. The Marauders, Lily, Dumbledore (although he had a lot of conflicting emotions about that man), and now the people in town. The latter, he never would've guessed could be so understanding and accepting. It wasn't that he hadn't thought them to be good people; he thought the world of many of them. But being as conditioned as he was to expect being shunned, it shocked him when so many people had wanted to help. It was overwhelming, really.

If he could offer her that same kindness, he was more than happy to do it. It was what he wished all werewolves were given, even if he too held much disdain for his wolf form. It wasn't Leia's fault. She'd done nothing to deserve what happened to her.

"I'll speak with him, but seeing as he always is with me during the full moon, I cannot imagine him not being there to help as well." Remus wasn't going to say it just yet, because he did not want to darken his sentiments. But if her wolf form tried to harm Padfoot for any reason, he knew full well Moony would attack her. And that went without saying whether Remus had consumed his potion or not.

He didn't think he needed to go there. Not now, anyway. "Perhaps," he said, when she tried to make light of it. "I have no doubt we will learn quite a bit. What I want you to remember, though, and it is very important -- you aren't alone in this. I struggled with that for a very long time until I accepted the help and support of others I could trust. You can trust me, and you can trust the people in this town. We'll all help you. But I know it can be overwhelming to have so many people trying to help at once. So we'll start with me, and by extension Sirius as well. We'll go from there. One step at a time."

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yourhighnessnes
2019-12-24 01:27 pm UTC (link)

“I fear it’s unlikely that’s the last time I do.” Leia’s tone was a dry amusement of sorts, with no real joy behind it. But, she felt the need to warn him she was liable to go on being thankful for some time to come for his support, even if in his own eyes, there was no question he offer it, and did so with no expectations.

“You’ve experienced a lifetime of feeling this way- managing it.” There was a difference between pity and empathy, her tone understanding, more than she could have ever previously. Leia imagined if she’d been placed in her own galaxy with such a condition, she wouldn’t know where to begin, or who to turn to. Her need for complete isolation would be far more likely and her panic insurmountable. Here, she had turned to Remus and without hesitation, he was giving her some hope, even if it would take time for her fears to truly lift. Her nervous energy, held. “And you’ve paved the way within this community for ..understanding, and education.” Yes, they were good people, open minded and capable of trying to understand things they hadn’t previously encountered. But, Remus had facilitated that, he’d had to, when the illness meant he wouldn’t be under control, but that’s not what counted. “Which, I imagine keeps them all safer too.” Less of an issue, so long as Remus had his partner, and the potion, but even more vital now she too, was now a danger.

Leia nodded slowly as she took in his words. He was quite right; it was overwhelming. She didn’t think she’d be ready to speak on this again, to anyone else so soon. “One step at a time.” She echoed, with a little more certainty than she felt. “I just hope you know you’ve made every difference, for something I couldn’t have imagined happening.” It was devastating, and life altering, she was only beginning to process it all. So Leia didn’t want to embarrass him, but she honestly couldn’t thank him enough, regardless of what he thought was a given and he had no obligation to understand her experience, as well as managing his own. But he’d already laid down plans, where she’d been almost literally quite lost in the woods, for where to begin and how to protect those around her. Still, she wasn’t about to let those words linger there, in case it was a little much for him too. “-Uh. Should- we head to COFFEE, for that tea?” She prompted, there was still a lot, most of it fear-based coursing through her, and it wasn’t so much that any of it had been quieted, or even a move of avoidance, more, it was Leia’s way of not lingering on what she was afraid of in this moment, or at least not drawing Remus in any longer. Together they’d taken steps toward sorting it out.

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