Tweak

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Tweak says, "Tweaktacular!"

Steve Rogers (captainhandsome) wrote in snapthread,
@ 2019-10-15 07:08:00

Entry tags:

steve rogers (mcu), tony stark (mcu)

Who: Steve Rogers and Tony Stark
What: Talking and then getting all reunited
Where: Their house
When: Sunday

Steve had really had a pretty interesting few days. With access to the medicine whenever he needed it, he was better than usual and the people here were great. He missed his mom, of course he did. But he loved spending time with his little 'family' at home. Bucky was there and he could draw as long as he liked. It was pretty great. Even if something felt a little wrong and off.

But he couldn't quite put his finger on what. Just when he thought he'd thought of it? It was gone again and he was left looking into space.

He was in the kitchen, making sandwiches because he and Natasha were going to go find somewhere outside to eat them when Tony walked in and Steve beamed at him. "Hey! Hey Tony!" Steve said quickly, nearly choking on his eagerness. Because Tony was amazing and Steve never knew what to do with his hands when he was around.

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allaboutego
2019-10-16 11:58 pm UTC (link)

If it wasn't so sad, it'd almost be cute, the way Steve pitched his voice low and looked around like he was keeping a big, heavy secret just for Tony. But it was sad. It was really sad, and Tony's heart just ached over it all. Enough where he had to settle his fingertips over the arc reactor for a moment just to calm himself.

"Hey," he said, low too, but not the kind where it was a whisper, or where he wanted Steve to think he was here to keep secrets. "I understand why you think that, but it's not like that here. It's not a problem, I promise. There's no one here that doesn't know, and it's okay. It's gonna be okay. You don't need to worry." He paused for a second, unsure, because Steve was nervous and scared and Tony didn't want him to be, but he wasn't going to dip in further than what he was allowed. "About me or anyone else."

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captainhandsome
2019-10-17 12:09 am UTC (link)

Steve was about to shift gears from fear right into panic when Tony's voice went all deep and reassuring. He felt sick and he rocked back on his heels, fists balled up by his sides as he tried to just understand what he was being told. Steve went to church, with his mom, they went and they listened and he tried to be good and just follow what the priest said. But he said a lot of things that Steve didn't believe, if God loved everyone and he'd made them, why would he make them wrong? How could just being yourself and being happy be a sin? No Steve didn't think love was a sin, no matter what anyone told him.

"Everyone knows? Everyone knows you're- that you're-" But there was no way to finish that in Steve's vocabulary that wasn't awful and he kind of just gestured wildly. He didn't want to say anything wrong about Tony, who'd been so kind to him. Who was so cool and beautiful and looking at him like he knew all of Steve's secrets.

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allaboutego
2019-10-17 12:23 am UTC (link)

"That I'm in love with a man," Tony supplied, even though it probably wasn't the word that Steve was thinking about. Labels were something else completely, Tony thought -- and he'd never really bothered to give himself one because he tended to just do what he wanted with who he wanted and had never really felt like he'd needed to put a name to it.

But, he supposed, if Steve was struggling -- and it really looked like he was -- maybe it was best to just give that a go. He crouched down so they were eye level. "Yes, Steve. Everyone knows, and no one here minds. Or if they do, they aren't stupid enough to say so. I'm bisexual. That means that I love both men and women. But I have someone, and he's a man. Do you think that's okay?" And yeah, it was probably a little unfair because he did know Steve's secrets -- but that also meant that he could make sure Steve didn't think his secrets were dirty or bad ones.

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captainhandsome
2019-10-17 12:34 am UTC (link)

It was maybe the biggest question he'd ever been asked in his life. Did he think that it was okay?

Steve swallowed and it tasted like bile and panic and his hands were shaking. He tried to hard, to be like the other boys, they talked about girls, stole pictures from their dads. Steve was already at a disadvantage, he didn't even have a dad. "My mom says people like that got the devil in them," Steve said because that bought him a little time. Tony was so calm though, so calm and confident. Who ever he loved was lucky and Steve desperately wanted to be that lucky one day.

"But you just... You love him. What's so bad about that?" Steve asked, voice shaking a little and tears in his eyes. "That doesn't hurt anyone."

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allaboutego
2019-10-17 12:45 am UTC (link)

Tony only looked a little pained over what Steve said his mother said -- because lord knew he wasn't about to trash talk Sarah Rogers, a woman who'd been dead for nearly a century now. He got that sometimes even good people had bad opinions about things sometimes, and religion certainly didn't make it any easier. He wasn't going there. He just wasn't.

So it was good when Steve went on, supplying his own opinion instead of someone else's. It was about what he'd thought it would be, really. Tony never really thought Steve's opinion could be anything mean -- only questioning. He nodded thoughtfully. "It doesn't hurt anyone, no. And it's not bad. It's good. I love him. And he takes care of me when I'm tired and sick, and makes good days even better. He's my family. So it's okay." And that was an absolute statement.

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captainhandsome
2019-10-17 01:28 am UTC (link)

So it was okay.

Steve packed up the picnic in a hurry, the neat sandwiches not so neat once they were stuffed in his bag. But he carefully put away the bread. "That's real nice, Mr Stark. I-I'm glad you're okay," he told him seriously as he paused in the doorway. "I gotta run."

And boy did he ever run.

---

It was still hardly dawn when he emerged from Natasha's room, the house was quiet and dark as Steve, in all his thirty something glory made his way back to his own room. The clothes he wore were ridiculous, ripped and he peeled them off as soon as he was inside and the door was closed behind him. The lump in the bed that was his boyfriend didn't move and Steve was quiet as he slid into his spot beside him.

For a moment he lay there, just looking at him. But he couldn't wait for him to wake, holding his cheek gently in his hand he placed a kiss against his lips. Then another and another, obviously intent on waking him.

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allaboutego
2019-10-17 01:48 am UTC (link)

Hardly dawn was still plenty late enough for Tony have to fallen asleep at some point. Normally, when he was too frustrated for it, he might have found himself in his workshop -- but he had a house full of kids to be taking care of, and it had felt a bit like a fair trade off -- giving up work in order to read (and hilariously alter) endless stories to Gwen. Even when he was tired down to his soul, it felt like a good thing. He'd sacrifice hours or work and sleep if everyone else in this house was happy.

After that, it'd been a matter of staring up at the ceiling in his too-empty room until Tony finally, finally managed to let go of the high stress conversation he'd had with Steve earlier. It was what it was. And if he couldn't have his Steve, he'd just make sure the one he currently had was going to grow up healthy and happy.

It didn't make him sleep easier, but he still somehow managed.

So being woken with light, gentle kisses? It wasn't expected, not even a little, and Tony woke almost immediately blinking his eyes open wide to find -- "Steve." His Steve. His. And if the word came out like a mixture of extreme relief bordering on something more broken. Well. He couldn't help it.

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captainhandsome
2019-10-17 02:22 am UTC (link)

Steve had been there, but not really, not the same. Tony looked older, which was funny really, because Steve had been so young. His boyfriend had been so kind and gentle and watching that, that would stay with him. But now that he was back? Steve kissed him again now he was awake, slower and deeper.

“Yeah,” he breathed softly as he broke away. Thinking of Tony alone in this big bed, Steve not himself and surrounded by kids? He didn’t envy it. At least his ignorance had been bliss. “I was so, so sweet on you when I was a kid,” Steve said with a crooked smile.

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allaboutego
2019-10-17 02:32 am UTC (link)

Tony kissed back like he was starving for it. Whoever had described it in a way that a drowning man might do something -- that was Tony. He took and took and until he needed to breathe and even though he felt a little bit like he could keep going if not for Steve backing up a little.

He reached out, fingers splaying against Steve's chest because he had to touch, had to know it was real and not just some dream he was going to wake up from. But he laughed anyway, because of course. "Yeah," he repeated. "Well, you were a real cute kid and all, but I can't say the same. I'm already a cradle robber when you're this age."

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captainhandsome
2019-10-17 03:50 am UTC (link)

Tony was always wonderfully needy and Steve had waxed poetic about how much he loved that. But it was even more in that moment, Tony kissing him like he needed him and Steve would give him anything. To have no memory of this, of the happiness and the love they shared, it all came back and Steve was so glad to be all grown up.

“I don’t blame you,” he said with a smile as he stroked his cheek. The problem would have come later, if he’d stayed young and got a little older, a crush and sixteen year old hormones, not that would have been a nightmare. “Huh? With this old man?” Steve asked as he settled on his side and stretched out, feet nearly at the end of the mattress where they belonged but he didn’t let go, didn’t move back from him.

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allaboutego
2019-10-17 04:08 am UTC (link)

Normal needy was definitely different from this - normal needy was Tony just being who he was, a product of everything that'd gotten him to where he was now. But this particular needy was more than that -- because Tony'd been pretty fucking sure for a few days there that he was never going to have a normal Steve back again, that he'd have to resign himself to having to raise him like he was a child and --

Well. It'd been a pretty rough thought. Right now, Tony could have cried for how relieved he was, but for the fact that he wasn't much of a crier and never really had been. "Shut up," he said instead, squirming forward until he was pressed up agains Steve who was so tall now. "Just hug me for a while."

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captainhandsome
2019-10-17 11:45 am UTC (link)

He couldn't imagine it from Tony's point of view, at least Steve hadn't known what he'd been missing. Tony on the other hand had been very aware, had thought about all those years between the age Steve had been and where he'd be him again. At least when he'd been small, pre-serum Steve he'd still been an adult and they'd still had each other.

Tony squirmed forward and Steve wrapped his arms around him and tightened his hold. He felt darn good there, the two of them fit together just right and he nudged their noses together before he looked into his eyes. "I wish I'd had you to give me a pep talk when I was a kid for real, you know," Steve said softly.

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allaboutego
2019-10-17 08:40 pm UTC (link)

Tony didn't even want to imagine it from Tony's point of view anymore. It'd been a difficult week, even with the added on delights of everyone being cute and tiny and carting around Gwen on his hip because he couldn't seem to find any reasons or excuses to want to put her down.

"Well," Tony said, pressing his nose into the crook of Steve's neck and effectively muffling himself even if he did see fit to go on talking anyway. "I think your moral compass worked out just fine without me, Steve."

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captainhandsome
2019-10-20 11:05 am UTC (link)

Their legs fit together, his thigh between Tony's because he was an adult again and they just fit. He could doze like this, usually he'd be up already for a run but there was no way he was leaving the circle of the other man's arms, not for a run on a cold morning.

"It did okay, but hearing something like that when I was that age? Would have changed my life," Steve said softly. "That I could love who I wanted, that I might get to be happy one day," he let out a low whistle. "I'm glad things are different now."

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allaboutego
2019-10-20 04:59 pm UTC (link)

Tony had missed this, when Steve was small and hadn't remembered that they were a thing. Mind, it was sort of a relief that he hadn't remembered, considering it would have made it that many times harder on both of them if he had. Steve had been a cute kid, but that was as far as Tony's brain would let him go.

Still. It had been a really lonely week, and Tony'd felt like he was missing out on something huge and important even while little Steve had been right in the other room.

"Well," he said after a beat where he was just enjoying the contact, their legs tangled together and the good feeling he got from just having it again (Tony was, no doubt, going to be clingy for the next few days), "I'm glad it helped you. You're not going to go off to go steady with Natasha, then?" He knew Steve was being serious, but Tony couldn't help but poke fun at the idea of it.

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captainhandsome
2019-10-21 11:13 am UTC (link)

It would have been maybe too confronting to know that they were a them. Confronting but also confusing because Tony was gorgeous but too old and the attraction just wouldn't have been there for either of them. No it would have been its own kind of hell and Steve was incredibly glad they were back where they belonged.

Being back in his bed with his boyfriend, the warmth of his skin, it just reaffirmed that Steve was just where he belonged. Nothing and no one made him feel as peaceful as Tony did.

Never one to miss the chance to lighten the mood Tony asked about Natasha and Steve laughed. "We're postponing the wedding for now," Steve agreed somberly. "I mean we didn't even have a white dress, who were we kidding?"

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allaboutego
2019-10-22 10:08 pm UTC (link)

No, it wouldn't have been good. Not for Tony and not for Steve. Likely, Steve knowing just would have made things more awkward and if nothing else, Tony was glad that Steve had had a week of romping around with friends and being as carefree as a closeted little boy from the 1920's could be. At least he'd had friends.

"Oh good," Tony said dryly, but there was a smile in his tone anyway, because he'd missed this - Steve's dry wit and warm, warm arms. "I've got time to make an argument for myself." He let a beat of a moment pass before he huffed out a sigh. "Stay for a while? I'm tired."

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