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Tweak says, "You'd have to have been there!"

Leia Organa Solo (yourhighnessnes) wrote in snapthread,
@ 2019-10-14 00:38:00

Entry tags:

galen marek (sw), leia organa

Who:Leia & Galen
What: These two steal a motorbike from the doors, then build a couch fort.
Where:Various locations around Starklandia
When:13th of October

They hadn’t exactly left through the doors with the idea in mind, they just wanted to explore somewhere beyond Starklandia! The idea of going anywhere of their own violation was exciting for any young teen, but venturing into a completely new world, was even moreso. So together Leia and Starkiller had just chosen a door at random and gone through it. Neither could place the town, or even the world particularly, but it was populated by humans, and technology that was not so familiar to either of them. No speeders, no starships - barely anything that even so much as hovered. But that was fine, they were still within a city, and there was still so much to see and do all around them.

It was hard to say whom the notion came to first (Leia would have said it was entirely Starkiller’s idea, were she asked) but somehow the idea of sitting on what looked a bit like a swoop bike on wheels, turned into the idea that maybe they could figure out how to take it and bring it with them back to Starklandia - well she’d heard that was how everyone had gotten ALL their supplies anyway, every snack or treat, just about anything they used in their world, was scavenged from beyond the doors - well neither Leia or her new friend had seen a bike like this there, so clearly they needed one. Didn't they? Not that it belonged to anyone else, but you know, maybe they’d let the people they liked borrow it? Imagine how cool that’d be.

But, with a little planning, a lot of patience and the quickest of nerves, suddenly there was a roaring motor, the bike tearing out the door the two of them had come in through, Leia giving a loud whoop of joy as they did. Whilst it was extremely exciting to feel the wind whipping by, Leia did cling to Starkiller, her arms about his middle like a vice as he was the one to steer the bike, but she wasn't at all frightened, peering out with her eyes practically watering.

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yourhighnessnes
2019-10-23 10:58 am UTC (link)

They sat close as they could, gaze sometimes on the film, and sometimes one another - their closeness was nothing short of perfectly sweet, shared kisses, but mostly it was that their hands locked together in a hold that meant they were there for one another - neither had to be alone. Each night that’d passed Leia had felt worse and worse about being stuck in the house that looked like Alderaan, but didn’t feel at all like home. This evening had definitely made Starklandia feel a little more like it, and she fell asleep easily.

Consciousness was slowly filtering back to Leia, from what was a very comfortable, deep sleep. She was so warm and cosy, she tried to will her way back to drifting off again, let the heaviness of sleep overtake her again nestling sweetly against her human pillow; feeling nothing but comforted by the warmth, even by the smell of someone beside her - a wonderful way to sleep. Wakefulness continued to gradually invade her sleepy state, the thought that she wasn’t alone filtering in. Why wasn’t she alone? That practically jarred her awake and she sat up, trying to make sense of things when she was barely awake and the memories she was searching for was a little foggy. For a horrifying moment Leia was concerned she had done something very, very stupid.

Before she could panic, Leia reasoned she didn’t feel hungover - and everyone was completely clothed, albeit she realised in something that was not remotely made to fit her, really ..not.

“Galen-” The best her repeatedly hissing his name at him garnered was when his hand flailed out blindly and collided with her as he, clearly not entirely conscious, threw a hand out to shush her. Leia clicked her tongue in a sound of annoyance and ..for a moment, considered going home. Just leaving him be. Maybe he wouldn’t even remember she’d been here at all, he’d never know - and she ..just wouldn’t talk about it. Ever.

Things were, slowly filtering back, but it made no sense, like a childhood memories she’d never had before? Maybe he’d be the only way they could piece this back together. Leia cursed under her breath, directed solely at Starklandia before she tried giving a very much out for the count Galen a gentle shake at the shoulder - she really wasn’t sure she wanted to shock someone like him awake. Like waking a Vorn Tiger, if you had to do so, do it carefully. “Galen? Wake up-”

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killerofstars
2019-10-23 04:15 pm UTC (link)

The light shake and being told to wake up was very disruptive of his happy place. Which was the nice solid sleep he was getting. Murmuring at Leia he shifted some lightly batting her hand away. "Sleeeep." He reminded softly while he let his mind start coming back to focus. Why was Leia even waking him up, in the first place? The memories of the night prior were in this place between lucid and something that felt as if it were a distant memory. Though her scent filled his senses. The pillows and blankets had her more feminine aroma on it, which was also easily very settling for Starkiller.

Which was weird. Why would they be in a bed together.

With a yawn, Galen stretched his body in the confines of the their blanket fort. Rubbing his face his fingers touched his lips, a soft remembrance of their kissing.

Finally sitting up, Galen looked around, and saw the fort intact and the clothes he was wearing tight against his tone muscles. Flexing his body some, muscle memory really took over as he situated being back in his adult form. A flex here and push there Galen was familiarizing himself with himself again. Then he looked to Leia his eyes stared into hers, already expecting the hurt to come. "You don't have to say anything. You can just leave." Galen muttered. "I already know. You don't want to be here." There was already a defeated sigh from him while he looked for his exit.

"It's fair to say, we were children.." He started as he started moving out of the cozy fort before stopping. His eyes were away from her, because he knew they were in different spots, and thinking of Nebula telling him what she had. "Look, I understand." He spoke softly. "I don't have what you're looking for." It was the painstaking reality.

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yourhighnessnes
2019-10-24 02:20 pm UTC (link)

It wasn’t all a blank, the longer time that passed more filtered through, it wasn’t so much clearer, but it was there. The feelings were clearer than then actual solid, visual memories. They’d spent most of the week attached at the hip as friends, exploring the town, beyond the doors ..she thought? Either way, she’d been so happy that he was there.

And then when she’d really started to grow lonely and a bit afraid, he’d been there.

And they’d kissed, even if the memory was fuzzy, the feeling in the pit of her stomach was more memorable. There was a part of her that wanted to reflect, talk about it even - but Galen was quick to encourage her on, which was to push them back to where they’d been before, distant and with little between them any more. Which in part Leia knew was her doing, having just walked out.

She hovered between wanting to spill everything, and simply taking the offered exit. Even Nyx hadn’t managed to pry all that from her and she’d been drunk. Why, couldn’t they just go back, to how it’d been. It had been a friendship for some time, before- ..hadn’t it? There was a twinge of anger dwelling back there - as if she in part felt manipulated, that it was black or white; certain if she did explain everything the felt, and that what she needed most of all was his friendship, and she could give as much in return, it wouldn’t be accepted.

Now he was projecting the idea that he wasn’t right. But that was fair; he was developing, belatedly an emotional maturity, what he lacked was hardly his fault - she’d clumsily tried to work through encouraging him to treat others around him better, simply because it was the workings of a community and he’d taken that with difficulty - she hadn’t been the best at guidance and then the whole thing had ended badly when she ..didn't know what to do about being kissed.

“It’s ..not just about being children, we were there for one another before that too.” She mused, her gaze was averted too, she'd had a part in fracturing what their relationship had been and she'd had no idea how to repair it. Not that he'd allowed her to talk to him afterwards. “Being a kid ..just made a lot of things easier to understand." Emotions for one, nothing seemed quite so complex or worrying. At least nothing close to Adulthood. Kriff this, in this moment was difficult to navigate. "And -I'm not looking for anything." she added, as if that was supposed to indicate it wasn't something to do with him, and who he was. She still wasn't leaving.

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killerofstars
2019-10-25 12:52 pm UTC (link)

The feelings were mixed at best. Between the anger he harbored and was holding back, and the kid smitten with the girl feelings - Galen was losing his reality. Simply, he just kept himself grounded and focused on the now.

Which the now was, they weren't kids and she wasn't interested in him. Which was fine, right? Of course. It was fine. She didn't have to have feelings for him. She could just leave, and they could go back to whatever they were previously. That'd be fine. She could leave, and he'd could go back to ignoring her. That'd be perfect. It wouldn't. Galen would hate that.

Then Leia started talking. Looking to her, Galen listened calmly. Was this her part to suck him back in. The way she left, the way she just shut him down, well it was safe Galen didn't want to talk about it any further. Well at the time, he didn't even want to talk to her. The emotions of a child, and the making things easier was a moot point. The pair of them weren't kids currently.

"Well figure out what you are looking for then, because it ain't me." Galen snarled, the Starkiller anger rolling out slightly. Not wanting to fight, he removed himself from the fort shaking his head.

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yourhighnessnes
2019-10-26 02:02 am UTC (link)

“Galen- wait.” He’d nearly gotten out of the Fort too, but she moved forward to make an effort to stop him. She didn't sound pleading, or weak, just wanting to reason without a fight.

In other circumstances, Leia likely would have let him go, encouraged it and followed out the door with something fitting too, defiant and stubborn. Part of her wanted, to because on the one hand, it was vastly easier. She wouldn't have accepted an ultimatum like this - either she felt exactly how he wanted her to, or he wanted nothing to do with her. She didn’t even accept that now, but ..well, she reasoned she had her own part in the damage and mistrust done here. Galen, as far as she could understand was avoiding conflict, but also exercising self preservation in a quiet way; vastly different to his ways some months ago.

Leia had hope that in time could they just tap into something more than this sort of unpleasant stalemate, a state where they could talk with one another - even more freely than before, where they could understand one another better; and then maybe he could accept it wasn’t a matter of rejection, just feelings were complicated, time and understanding would help. That and she really didn’t want to lose him. She kind of hated feeling everything she should know better than to be made weak by; needing others and loneliness and - being so adrift that she hardly felt like herself at all. That was mixed in with the contrast of last night; feeling safe and secure and cared for and - in no doubt she had a friend in this place.

So, she did probably the most ill-advised thing she’d done since drinking excess amounts of Nyx’s choice in Tequila, and leant in to kiss him. Not really with any proper thought to it than trying to recapture the evening past, and perhaps with an interest in anything that might stop being shut out; only it was quite different from the clumsy unskilled efforts of a young teen.

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killerofstars
2019-10-27 03:06 am UTC (link)

The wait made him stop, and he looked right to Leia. In their little fort. Together. It was something. Deep down, this was something Galen wanted, but he was starting to understand things more and much better. Like for example, there wasn't anything he could do to persuade Leia. That was fine. That was life. That was reality.

Though, the thing was where she wanted them to keep their friendship - which would have been all well and good in a perfect system, Galen needed to step away and not be surrounded with the ideas of Leia. The way things were handled weren't the best, but just because she wanted friendship didn't mean he had that to give in return in the immediate. Of course, deep down that wasn't about to stop him from coming and running if she needed him. Starkiller had already decided that since Kenobi left, he would do his best to make sure Leia was safe. At least that's what he told himself.

Then her mouth pressed to his. There was a soft sigh from Galen as he pressed into it. Something he wanted. There was no world where this wasn't what he wanted. He kiss was much better this time, but he wasn't even sure he matched up to her. Still, just as children, the experience he had was none to little. Though, he was eager to try his hardest, right up to his mind caught up.

Both of his hands landed on her shoulders as he seperated himself from her. His eyes on her, and with any basis of knowing subtle clues would see, this wasn't what he truly wanted to do, but Galen had to have answers. "Why? What?" He shook his head as he tried to figure out his words. "This doesn't feel right." He said. "I can feel it." Galen sighed looking away. "I don't want your pity." Which was what this felt like. Like she was using this to keep him here because, well he wasn't sure what her goal was. It just didn't feel right.

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yourhighnessnes
2019-10-28 01:57 pm UTC (link)

His reaction was one that was entirely fair. No, Leia didn’t really know what she was doing, and almost immediately, he said exactly what she was feeling. It didn’t feel right. “Pity you?” Leia almost sounded incredulous, the thought hadn’t occurred to her. “Never. It’s not about that.” Leia looked down, pushing a hand through her hair, only just realising it was loose - another remnant of the choices made by her smaller self. It felt a little weak to want that kind of simplicity again. She was so much more than that.

“I’m sorry for- the way I’ve handled this. All of it.” Could that count for now, and previously? Leia’s arms tucked around her middle. She’d handled so much that’d been thrown at her, far more difficult than this. Hadn’t she? Here she struggled; she blamed Starklandia, the unnatural manner of it, what it exposed in a pressurized environment. “I couldn’t have made it worse if I’d tried.” Who knows, maybe she could’ve. She didn’t want to be pitied either. Apologetic and honest of her mistakes; but not simpering or stumbling or unable to her gaze steadily on him. It was just a matter of the words being difficult.

“So- I don’t blame you for- what you’re thinking.“ That he was lacking something, or wasn’t what she was ‘looking for’ “Maybe that- I don’t care at all?"

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killerofstars
2019-10-28 07:56 pm UTC (link)

Galen felt a rush of something. He wasn't sure what it was, but his heart was racing, and his palms were sweaty. Nervous? Him? It was a feeling that he wasn't normally used to. Though the way she was talking, he could tell her emotions just from her tone. There wasn't pity in him, but frustration in the situation.

"You could have." Galen offered with a hint of amusement. "You could of have compared me to a tauntaun." There was a small smile on his face, something of an olive branch. Something for them to build off. They could do that, right? It was possible, wasn't it, so in the effort to meet her Galen offered his metaphorical hand. "I wasn't the most fair either.." He started. "I get confused and I don't know how to navigate personal relations with anyone.. just a murder droid." He referenced his friend PROXY.

"Where do we go from here..?" Galen asked reaching out for her, before withdrawing back into himself.

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yourhighnessnes
2019-10-29 05:39 am UTC (link)

“I could say you could be as ill-tempered as one- but they live in a matriarchal society.” As if they were more inclined to be just as bad tempered, or even more so, than their male counterparts. And she was clearly only trying to further his more light-hearted attempts, but also be certain he didn’t feel the blame was his alone. "I know. Even then, I didn't give you much to- navigate with." Still apologetic, using his own word for it. Leaving when she'd been caught off guard had not been her wisest, or finest moment.

“I don’t know-” Leia admitted with a slow sigh out. She felt the inclination to take his hand, but similarly, kept a little distance, given her poor choices, and a general violation of his space only a moment ago - even though at the time how he’d felt about it. “I just- don’t want it to go back to how things were. Where we’re barely even talking.” They both had their contributions to why it had ended up that way.

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killerofstars
2019-10-29 12:58 pm UTC (link)

Alright, so they were both in the same place, seemingly. That was a good thing. Though, it was where to go in this point now. Galen knew they couldn't keep on the same path they were going in the now, otherwise there wouldn't be anything between them. The thing that the young man wasn't sure about was - how to keep them moving forward in the right direction.

Taking a deep breath, Galen reached out and took Leia's hand in his. It was soft amidst his rough hands.

Staring at their hands that were connected, he found himself worried. Worried that the moment they left this fort they built as children, would send them back to where they were previously. It truly didn't help the feelings he felt still fresh as childhood Starkiller were pretty fresh. "I do not wish that either." Galen admitted. This moment was different than her trying to keep him here. This time, it was Galen leaning forward to press his lips to hers gingerly.

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yourhighnessnes
2019-10-30 12:15 pm UTC (link)

This time Leia hadn’t quite expected him to do so - her answer had been a conflicted one; but truthful. She didn’t really know what this was, and didn’t quite know where they were headed. Where she was headed. But this was better than the way things had gone before, better than nothing at all. When she’d been barely a teen there was so little swirling through her mind but how she felt, and how happy she’d been to have someone that cared, and to care for him back and that maybe if she had to stay in Starklandia, things were going to be okay.

It wasn’t as if this thought, or that feeling had vanished. But, now there was a lot more to her than that, so much more to navigate and feel and wonder on and to intrude on simpler thoughts. There was still a stab of guilt in her stomach once again, when their lips met, and though she didn’t pull away as if it was something she didn’t want, she didn’t let it linger - whatever thoughts her mind was warring between, and she smiled still - if nothing else, she reminded herself once again, they’d found something closer to healing.

“There’s no rush on, figuring all this out.” Whatever the hell this was, and if she could really let herself go on between feelings that clashed - though more than anything she’d felt as if this moment had started to tip the scales. Leia squeezed his hand and she looked down, they had made steps, but she was still afraid the right thing to do would only end up hurting him. She didn’t want that. “I should probably head back home for now-” She voiced, for one she was becoming increasingly aware how uncomfortable this child-sized clothing was and wanting to get changed. Her hair was very likely filled with tangles, thanks to her younger self, too.

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killerofstars
2019-10-30 01:12 pm UTC (link)

There it was, the kiss that he really wanted out of the situation. The way it was supposed to go the first time around. He sighed as their lips parted, because in a nagging way he still could feel how conflicted she was, but they had progress. That was much better than the alternative. And on top of that she was correct, there was no rush on figuring things out. They had time to work it out and to navigate this whole process.

There was a nod from Galen, understanding the need to go home. Here in this place, in these clothes they were wearing - especially him with the clothes so tight to his body. "Yes, let me see you out." Galen offered while heading out of the fort they had built. Finally taking in the house as an adult, it was a disaster in a way showing a child had been living alone. Also, where was Lucario? Starkiller would have to find his Pokemon companion sooner than later.

Bringing his attention back to Leia, he helped her to her feet off the ground which they had just spent the night on and walked her to the door. Once there, Galen nervously kicked at the ground. "Just remember, we're not going backwards.." He said softly. "Only forwards." His eyes went to hers. "Lets meet for this thing they call Halloween. I am guessing there will be a party."

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yourhighnessnes
2019-10-31 01:32 pm UTC (link)

Leia did admire what they’d built once she was on her feet again, quite the elaborate set up for two children, but they’d worked hard and it was no wonder they crashed, and slept well, at least the part that wasn’t the fact they’d comforted one another so perfectly, the experience had been mostly fun, but also somewhat frightening for a child who’d started to miss her family.

Leia smiled again, nodding to his words, not glancing away. Forwards, she couldn’t help thinking it wouldn’t be easy, and she wondered how that would go; though anticipating problems wouldn’t do any good. “Most likely.” She agreed of the party. “They tend to enjoy those around here, and there's always something to learn about these customs were not so familiar with.” She acknowledged, and for the most part, they were fun experiences, chance to better know those around her - especially when new people were always arriving. “I’ll be there.”

Leia paused, having taken in the state of his home before she left, hesitating from leaving just yet. “If- you need any help cleaning up. I can come back a little later. Just let me know, alright?” She added, a sincere offer, after all she had taken part in building the Fort.

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