Challenge: Snape's biography
Word Count: 100
Note: since Snape, Lupin, and several other characters lived, this is firmly AU.
"Let me get this straight." Severus tapped his wand against his palm. "You needed money, so you and Bulstrode decided to fake my autobiography and sell it to Obscurus Press?"
"Ugh," said Goyle.
"And you sent me several dozen pets because of a chapter about my fictitious love for domestic animals?"
"Um," said Goyle.
Severus leaned forward until Goyle was all but flattened against the wall. "Do you have the slightest idea what you've - "
"Severus, calm down."
"How would you like it if Potter stole your life?"
"Point taken. Gregory, you need to - "
"Urk," said Goyle.