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Sirius Black ([info]the_grim) wrote in [info]silverage,
@ 2011-08-03 13:57:00

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Entry tags:!log, lily evans, sirius black

Who: Sirius Black and Lily Evans
When: Wednesday evening
Where: The streets of NY
What: Sirius arrives and sees a ghost?
Rating/status: I have a feeling Sirius is going to swear / Complete



This was not the destination Sirius had had in mind. The alley wasn't familiar and he guessed he was just lucky he hadn't landed in the middle of a dumpster or half inside a building. The logical part of his brain was insisting that if he couldn't even apparate to the correct location, that he was in no condition to deal with Peter when he found him. He wasn't about to listen to that logic, but he was aware of it. Honestly, the only thought he could really hold on to right now was how he was going to murder Pete; everything else was unimportant or going to break him.

Tightening his fist around his wand, he glanced up the alley towards the street and frowned. He could see people walking by and he furrowed his brow. The majority of them were wearing suits, ties, Muggle clothes. Where the hell had he ended up?

Warily, he made his way towards the sidewalk and squinted as he tried to place it. He wasn't completely unfamiliar to Muggle London, but this didn't appear to be anywhere he'd ever been before. At least he wasn't wearing robes, but that meant he couldn't hide his wand very well and he was disinclined to put it away. While he wasn't convinced this was some Death Eater trick, it wasn't outside the realm of possibility and all things considered, it was better to be safe than sorry.

Suddenly, his breath caught in his chest and the whole world seemed to freeze when he spotted a red-head who looked entirely too familiar. But that was impossible. Without thinking about it, he shoved past a few suits, ignoring their indignant protests and any rude gestures that may have followed. Narrowly avoiding a cab or two, he ran across the street and attempted to fall into step a few paces behind her without causing any more of a scene than he might have already.


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[info]just_lily
2011-08-03 09:15 pm UTC (link)
Noise, crowds, swears, rude gestures, whistles, and come-ons were the usual sounds of her walk home from work. The former ones more than the latter ones, bit she'd heard them all all the same. Squealing tires and horns were also part of this pattern, though she usually looked to see what caused those in case it was a kid or a cat on need of rescue.

She saw instead some fool darting into the crowd behind her, and she shook her head slightly. Except ... something about that fool struck her as familiar. Turning her head to glance back over her shoulder, she stopped so abruptly that the man behind her nearly plowed into her. He glared at her as he moved around her, but she didn't care. Couldn't care. Not in the face of this.

"Sirius?" She asked as she stepped out of the flow of people to get a better look, but it was him! He looked older, closer to Remus' age if she had to guess, but she didn't care. Sirius being here was one step closer to James being here, surely.

Lily's smile of greeting faltered slightly because he looked off. Well, no. Of course he would, especially of he'd just arrived. She beckoned him closer, out of the throng of people, though she thought she'd take him somewhere quieter -- like her room -- to explain all of this.

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[info]the_grim
2011-08-03 10:30 pm UTC (link)
A few different scenarios had begun to play through Sirius' mind as he attempted to follow her. One, and he thought this might be the most likely, was that he had simply gone mad and he was having some sort of episode. Another was that whoever this was was a Death Eater polyjuiced as Lily. That seemed like another likely situation, but wouldn't she have been looking for him? It seemed like only chance that he had spotted her.

When he failed at stealth and she spotted him, his composure briefly cracked. Hearing her say his name, seeing her smile like that, was almost physically painful after seeing her dead such a short time ago. Tightening his jaw, he stepped out of the way with her, grey eyes searching her, and while he thought something looked a little ... off, he wasn't sure what.

Pointedly, he flicked his eyes down to his hand where he was holding his wand, directing it at her. "Who are you?" He asked in a tight, low voice. "What the bloody fuck is this place?" He followed up with, the sudden urge to look around conflicting with wanting to keep his eyes on her.

Maybe he was dead too? A humorless, wild sort of laugh left his lips at the thought and he ran his free hand down over his mouth to compose himself. No, definitely going mad, he decided. While he'd reigned in his laughter quickly enough, he kept smiling in a way that wasn't quite right. He shook his head, his eyes overly bright as he struggled to control himself. He wasn't going to break down and cry in the middle of a street in front of Lily who might not even be Lily.

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[info]just_lily
2011-08-03 10:41 pm UTC (link)
Remus' warnings about Death Eaters came crashing back to her,but she couldn't work out how they'd polyjuice into Sirius. That, and if they were after her, James would have been better bait. "Love, it's me," she said softly. "Lily," she added, just in case.

She didn't like the way he looked though, like something more than just the displacement was wrong. Maybe he'd come in like Remus had though, after a scuffle with some DEs. "New York. 1964. It's ... complicated," she said as she started to reach out for him before thinking better of it. He had a wand and didn't look entirely stable.

"We don't know how we got here," she said. "But there are a few of us. Remus has been here about a month now, and I'm going on two weeks." For now, she thought it best not to mention Tonks, Neville, and Severus just yet. Or ever, in regard to Sev. "What ... what's gotten you so ... worked up?" If it was more than just the displacement ... maybe she didn't want to know.

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[info]the_grim
2011-08-04 03:46 am UTC (link)
Sirius shook his head. He couldn't apparate to New York ... and he couldn't apparate through time, either. That, at least, baffled him enough to take his mind off other, darker things and he was able to compose himself more effectively.

"You can't have been here for two weeks," he protested, sounding more like himself. If she was a Death Eater, she was horrible at it, he decided. Or amazing at being Lily, but she looked ... a little different. Younger? Once again he shook his head to clear it and he wasn't sure how to answer her question. Hesitating, he met her emerald gaze with his grey one and held it.

"Tell me something. Something only you would know." Well, he doubted there was anything only she would know that James or Remus wouldn't, but he imagined she would know what he meant. "How... how did James and I talk to each other from separate detentions?"

It was painful to say James' name and he was desperate to ask if Prongs was here, but first he needed to know that this was really Lily, even if it made no sense.

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[info]just_lily
2011-08-04 03:53 am UTC (link)
"I know ... how it sounds," she continued as she stepped onto the grass so she was off the sidewalk. "It ... like I said, it's complicated."

She had to smile at the thing he'd chosen for her to prove herself. "The mirrors. Remus and I were going to try to make some, but ... now that you're here, you can do it for us," she murmured. She thought she'd seen him ... flinch? Or something like it, when he mentioned James, and she wondered if whatever had him so distressed had something to do with James. She thought about the fact she'd only ever had one child, and she wondered.

Her lips parted, but she couldn't make herself ask him what had happened. "Anyway, he's ... he's not here yet. James, I mean. Now that you're here though, I'm sure he'll be along." She licked her lips and shrugged a little before she glanced away. "There are other people here. A boy, Neville. He's Alice and Frank's son. The same age my ... that Harry would be. He was friends with him," she added softly, mostly because she was certain if she just kept talking, that Sirius couldn't tell her whatever it was that she probably didn't want to know.

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[info]the_grim
2011-08-04 09:09 pm UTC (link)
Sirius exhaled heavily when she replied with the correct answer and he loosened his grip on his wand, a smile just slightly touching the corners of his lips. Briefly, he glanced around as he debated whether or not to slip his wand into the pocket of his trousers, but he wasn't sure he was quite ready to relax that much.

His shoulders slumped some when she said James wasn't here. How could she be here without James? The same way he could, he guessed, and tried to shake it off for the moment. She... obviously didn't know. She would have known what had him so worked up, why he doubted she could be herself. He was only half listening as she talked about who was here. Partly because it wasn't making much sense to him and there was already too much to process, and partly because he was just amazed she was alive, standing in front of him.

"That's more information than I can process right now, Evans. C'mere," he murmured quietly as he stepped onto the grass with her, reaching out with one arm to draw her into a hug.

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[info]just_lily
2011-08-04 09:26 pm UTC (link)
He still didn't look completely right, but he at least looked better. She wrapped her arms around him, burying her face against his shoulder. She only wished James had come in with him, but it was good to have him here, all the same.

She'd have to tell Remus. He'd be pleased to have someone to run with for the moons. It wouldn't be exactly the same, of course, but any taste of home was welcome.

Drawing her head back, she pressed her lips to his cheek. "Remus and I are going to look for places this weekend. You should come. Live with us, and then get a job so you can chip in." She smiled. "And help us look for a way back, in between all of that." She wondered if Sirius had any marketable skills at all, and she shook her head slightly. Well, if she could wind herself into a position, so could he.

"Come on. We'll go talk in my room, get you settled and the like." She drew back, slowly, her eyes searching his as if she'd find the answers there to the questions she didn't want to ask.

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[info]the_grim
2011-08-05 03:25 am UTC (link)
He wrapped both his arms around her, squeezing his eyes closed. He let his chin rest against the top of her head and told himself that when he opened his eyes, he'd be fine. He was in New York. In 1964. James and Lily were dead, but somehow Lily was in his arms. And he was fine.

Maybe crazy too. He still hadn't completely discounted that possibility.

Gazing down at her, he raised his brows. "Get a job," he repeated, as if this were a foreign concept. Really, it was. He'd never held a job. He had money. Merlin, he had no money here, did he? What kind of Muggle job was he supposed to get? "Bloody hell."

Sirius loosened his arms from around her as she drew back and he held her gaze for a moment before he looked away. He could tell himself he was fine and there were a million people in the world who would believe it, but he didn't for a second think that Lily would believe the only thing bothering him was this displacement. "Lead on then," he encouraged.

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[info]just_lily
2011-08-05 03:44 am UTC (link)
"A job," she repeated. "Luckily, since you're a bloke, it's unlikely you'll have people grabbing your arse in the lifts, and like as not, you'll have a ton of skirts throwing themselves at you. I can't really see a downside in you being employed," she said. Though she kept her tone light, her eyes were dark with worry.

Whatever was wrong, he'd have to tell her. She knew she wasn't going to like it, but she could at least be inside, somewhere she could sit down, when he broke whatever the news was. She cupped his cheek gently before she turned away. Reaching down, she took his hand and laced their fingers together. "Suppose I'll get you all settled in before we alert Remus to your presence, yeah?" She said softly, glancing to him again before fixing her eyes forward and starting the brief walk back toward the welcome center.

It wasn't much of a trip, and she gave him the quick tour, reasoning he could get a room of his own later as she led him up to hers. "I have some snacks in the cabinets," she offered. "Nothing really substantial, but we can get take out, if you'd like." She slipped off her shoes and moved to settle on the couch, resting her hands on her thighs.

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[info]the_grim
2011-08-05 05:21 am UTC (link)
"Skirts throw themselves at me whether I'm employed or not," Sirius pointed out, unconvinced that employment here was going to be such a wonderful thing. At least thinking about a job was distracting, something to focus on that wasn't being stuck here or how he was going to break the news.

It hit him suddenly that maybe they'd be able to change it. If she was from before, once they figured out how to get back, it could be different. He wasn't sure if that was an unrealistic hope, but he grabbed hold of it and was going to cling to it. He squeezed her hand, letting her lead him to the welcome center and then through her room.

He shook his head distractedly to her offer of snacks, clasping his hands behind his back. He couldn't decided if he wanted to pace or sit. For now, he thought he was too restless to sit.

"Lils. When are you from, then?" He asked, fixing grey eyes on her intently.

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[info]just_lily
2011-08-05 05:27 am UTC (link)
"Fair enough," she replied to his comment about skirts. It was true enough, in school at least. He hadn't wanted for female attention, though why he'd never gone steady with any of them was beyond her.

"December of '78," she said as she watched him. "Remus is ... later. 'bout three years or so, give or take. I'm telling everyone I'm nineteen though. It's close enough and sounds a bit older than eighteen somehow."

She watched him, and she recognized the signs well enough. "Whatever it is, just say it. Hedging's not going to make it easier on either of us." He had something, and whatever it was was probably going to hurt. It probably had to do with James, and whatever it was, she wanted to know so she could tell him it would be all right.

Clasping her hands more tightly together, she tucked them between her knees and just watched him.

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[info]the_grim
2011-08-05 05:52 am UTC (link)
"Merlin," he replied, stopping just short of telling her how young she was. He didn't want to get hexed for a stupid comment when he deserved it for something much worse. He did stop and stare at her for a moment, but her being 18 did explain a few things.

Shaking his head lightly, he arched a brow pointedly in response to her telling him to spit it out. This wasn't something to just drop and frankly, he was nervous she was going to hate him. Even if she hated him, though, it would be worth it if this could somehow fix things. Sighing, he wasn't even sure where to start and despite her request, he wasn't going to just blurt out that she and James had been murdered.

"A lot happens in three years. You know about Harry," he realized, running a hand over his mouth and glancing about the room as he tried to compose his thoughts. "There was a prophecy and Voldemort thought it was about Harry. He... he came after you and James," he went on, losing some of the composure he had built up in the short time he'd been here.

His eyes searched wildly for something to focus on before he forced himself to focus on her. "Harry survived, but... Lils, I'm so sorry. You and James..." he shook his head miserably, unable to say it out loud. He also knew he was a damn coward for leaving out the parts about Peter, but this seemed like too much already.

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[info]just_lily
2011-08-05 06:01 am UTC (link)
"Neville mentioned him," Lily said. Already she could feel her stomach rolling unpleasantly, and she watched him carefully. She listened to what he had to say, and for a very long moment, she didn't (or wouldn't) grasp exactly what he was saying.

"No," she said simply before she shook her head. "No, that's ..." She swallowed hard and she wanted to tell him he was wrong, he was lying, but it fit. It fit too well with some of the things Neville had said. It explained a lot of things. Why he'd never met her. Why he hadn't met Harry until school. She'd suspected that something had happened, yes, but ... not this.

She bit down on her lower lip and stared down at her hands clasped between her knees. She swallowed a few more times, trying to draw breath and finding it suddenly hard to breathe. "How? How? If they knew, if someone knew, we would have been watching, we would have been ... Dumbledore would have done everything he could to keep us safe, you know he would have," Lily protested. She managed to lift her head, aware of the tears tumbling down her cheeks as she stared at her fiance's best mate.

"How did he find us?" She demanded. Maybe she didn't want to hear, but she needed to hear. She needed every detail, everything he knew. Because she wasn't going to die at Voldemort's hands. "How did he even ... what prophecy?"

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[info]the_grim
2011-08-06 02:27 am UTC (link)
Sirius wished he could tell her that he was wrong and he watched her for a moment, glad that she decided to accept it on her own. He wasn't sure he had it in him to argue the fact that they really had died, to go into detail about what he'd seen. He shook his head and moved to sit next to her on the couch, putting his arm around her shoulders.

"The prophecy ... it was about a child being born with the power to defeat Voldemort..." he furrowed his brow, "I suppose he did."

The rest of the story got stuck in his throat and he stared something on the other side of the room. "It was my fault," he began again, quietly, his eyes not actually focused on what he was looking at. "We hid you and James away. We used the Fidelius charm. Dumbledore wanted to keep the secret himself, but James wanted me to do it. I should have. I would have died for you both, you know I would have," he insisted fiercely as he turned his gaze on her.

The anger he felt at Pete, at himself, at the war melted away into sorrow as he shook his head once again, "I'm sorry, Lily. I thought ... I thought it would be clever for me to be the decoy. Who would suspect we'd make Peter the secret keeper instead? Who would suspect Peter of anything? Not me," he muttered.

"Don't trust him. When you get home, don't trust Pete. Murder the bastard. That's what I was going to do, before I wound up here," he hesitated, "I won't blame you if you hate me. I shouldn't have ... you didn't want to use him."

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[info]just_lily
2011-08-06 02:45 am UTC (link)
"He comes back," Lily said flatly. "The boy here, Neville, the one ... I spoke with him. He said Voldemort came back. I didn't press for details. Not then." She wished she had; she might have found out about the dying thing sooner. "He ... Harry ... Neville said Harry does kill him. Later on." She was fairly certain she'd worked out that it was while Harry was at school, but maybe she'd been mistaken, and it didn't matter anyway.

She let Sirius explain the rest of it, gazing blankly toward the floor. She knew Sirius would have died for James, and she supposed that did extend to her after they'd gotten married. She patted his thigh in an attempt to reassure him, gripping the inside of his thigh just above his knee instead.

"I don't blame you," she said quietly, her voice a little thick, a little distant to her own ears. They'd probably thought it was a good idea, though she was glad, at least, that she hadn't been for the idea. She'd never taken to Peter. Not really. There was just something about him that she couldn't quite pinpoint, but she'd never gotten close to him. Not like she had to Sirius and Remus.

"It ... probably seemed like a good idea at the time. In theory. I'm sure ... you and James presented brilliant arguments," she continued quietly, briefly tightening her grip on his leg. "I'll change it. When I go back." She was still certain she would get back, somehow, and she'd make it so this didn't happen. She ... she'd have Harry later, so he wasn't on Voldemort's radar, or if she had him on time, she'd just fight harder to not let them make Peter their secret keeper.

She turned her head slowly, emerald eyes searching his features. "How did ... how did Harry survive? I can't ... if he was just a baby, and we were dead, I don't ..." Maybe James had cast some powerful spell before he died? It was possible, she supposed. Then she reasoned the Sirius probably wouldn't know. Not unless he was there.

Lily exhaled softly, loosening her grip on his leg, rubbing apologetically where she'd pressed in her fingers.

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[info]the_grim
2011-08-06 05:59 am UTC (link)
Sirius furrowed his brow. How could Voldemort come back? He supposed it didn't matter at this point and it seemed like Lily didn't know. In the end, Harry killed him and that was the important bit.

He could feel the way his smile came out all wrong in response to her comment about how convincing he and James could be. They could be quite the con artists, couldn't they? He felt like Lily was one of the few people who never fell for it, except for the time it really counted. Running a hand down his face, clearing his throat, he tried to focus on the impact telling her these things could have. A brief, quick nod dipped his chin; maybe something good would come from ending up here, if she could change it. She had to be able to change it.

"I've no idea," he replied softly to her question, reaching to take the hand that was on his leg, holding it between both of his. Squeezing her hand gently, he opened his mouth to tell her that Hagrid had taken Harry to her sister's, but thought better of it. Maybe she would ask anyway, but he knew she didn't really get on with Petunia.

"Maybe the Longbottom boy knows," he shrugged, stroking his thumb against the back of her hand.

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[info]just_lily
2011-08-06 05:25 pm UTC (link)
"Maybe," she agreed, though she wondered if he'd say if he knew. Maybe he had no interest in the timeline being changed, but ... no. Surely, he would. He'd mentioned his parents being hospitalized in relation to the war somehow ... surely he'd want them alive and well and not in a hospital.

For a long moment, she sat in silence. "We should get something to eat," she said finally. She hadn't adjusted, hadn't accepted, and after dinner, she had every intention of continuing to pry the details out of him, but just now ... she couldn't handle it. It would be better to just tell him about this place, her job, the people she worked with and had met here than to listen to him tell her how she had died. How James had died.

Despite her words though, she made no move yet to rise from the couch. Mentally she was going through the steps. Changing out of her work clothes, taking him downstairs to the cafeteria. She thought about getting him set up with a room, but she wasn't real eager to be alone tonight. "Stay here, with me. Tonight, at least. We can get you your own room later, but I don't ... I don't want to be alone."

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[info]the_grim
2011-08-06 10:24 pm UTC (link)
He wasn't uncomfortable with silence, but he was a bit on edge, waiting for her next question. When she instead suggested they get something to eat, he felt some of the tension drain out of him and he nodded. He didn't think for a second that she wasn't going to want to know more, but they could both use a break.

"If we're looking for a flat this weekend, I may as well just stay with you until then, yeah?" He suggested, with no intention of letting her stay in this place all by herself, especially not after breaking that sort of news. Not to mention, he wanted to make sure she wasn't going to disappear. It was dumb, he knew, but part of him was still afraid she wasn't real and tomorrow he would wake up and she and James would be dead.

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[info]just_lily
2011-08-06 10:39 pm UTC (link)
"I'll drop Remus a note on my way to work tomorrow. If you can wait that long to see him." She glanced up to Sirius before she stood up. "I ..." She shook her head. She should tell him now, she knew, but she wasn't ready for him to know, and she knew he'd take one look at her, at Sirius, and know that something was wrong.

Tomorrow would be soon enough.

"I am glad you're here," she said as she reached out a hand to help him up, pulling him into another hug if he did stand. She pressed her cheek against his chest and closed her eyes and tried to think about being dead. Being killed. Which one of them had gone first? Her? James? How had Harry lived? How had it happened? And when? She didn't think Sirius would have all the answers, but later, after dinner, she'd pry. As much as she was comfortable, at any rate. As much as he could share before they both wanted to leave it be.

"You should stay," she agreed. "Stay, and we'll see what we can find on the weekend." It would be cheaper to get a two bedroom, she thought, but she didn't want to force them to share, so they'd ... well, they'd work it out. One way or another. They'd see what was out there and run with that.

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[info]the_grim
2011-08-06 11:42 pm UTC (link)
He did want to see Remus, but he didn't want to go through the explanation again so soon. He also probably owed his friend an apology for not trusting him, but maybe Remus wasn't even from a time when he would understand what he was sorry for. "Tomorrow's all right."

Standing up when she prompted, he wrapped his arms around her, rubbing his hands up and down her back. He tried to think about other things, what they were going to eat, where they were going to find a place, but his thoughts kept cycling back. After pressing a kiss to her hair, he let his chin rest against the top of her head.

"There were good times," he murmured, content to hold her as long as she wanted him to. "I can tell you some of those too if you want to hear them." He wasn't sure if it would help or make things harder, but it seemed dark to only talk about their death.

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[info]just_lily
2011-08-06 11:55 pm UTC (link)
She didn't know if hearing about the good things was going to make the bad thing any better, but it was at least something else to talk about. "I can talk for a bit," she said instead. "Tell you about the place we wound up in." She gripped the back of his shirt gently, not really inclined to move from his embrace just yet, and not thinking he was in a rush to get rid of her.

"We can go out. I'll show you around a few places. Point at the place I work in case ... in case you need to come get me for anything." It was hard to get past the idea of being dead, and so young, but it was better to make plans. One step at a time. They'd have dinner, and a tour, and tonight they'd talk a little more, and tomorrow ... tomorrow, she'd let him tell Remus, and they'd all know.

She thought about mentioning now who else was here, but ... it could wait. Remus would probably tell him, anyway, and she saw no reason to rush that knowledge. They'd never even need to cross paths, if she was lucky.

Drawing back, she pressed her lips to his cheek before she gazed up at him. "So whenever you're ready, we'll ... we'll go out. I'll show you around, and we'll have something to eat, and I'll tell you all about the people I've met here."

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[info]the_grim
2011-08-07 03:54 am UTC (link)
Sirius smiled slightly down at her, tightening his arms around her waist before releasing her. "I'm ready if you are," he agreed, letting his arms swing back to his sides.

It sounded good for the both of them to go out, have something to eat. He knew they were going to have more hard conversations later, and it might be nice to pretend for an hour or so that nothing was wrong. Well, he wasn't sure either of them would be able to really take their mind of it, but it was worth a shot.

"Is the food decent around here or should I keep my expectations low?" Sirius raised a brow questioningly.

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[info]just_lily
2011-08-07 03:56 am UTC (link)
"It's not home, but it's not bad, either," she assured him. "I'll point out the places to stay away from," she promised before she stretched up to kiss his cheek again. She took his hand, lacing their fingers briefly and squeezing before she released him.

"All right then. Let's go see what the world has to offer." She wasn't looking forward to their conversation later, but she wasn't going to let it overshadow the evening, either. It was going to come and it was going to be bad, but in the meantime, she'd brace herself for it.

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