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Do you?
Sometimes, when Einin's world became too much, she found herself out in the middle of a meadow near the house. She was always either riding on, or walking beside the big mare - Gia, as she deemed her - lost in her thoughts or reading through passages of the newest (to her, not exactly in print) book to meet her hands.
On this day, Gia was laying down under the shade of a willow tree with Einin lounging back against her with a book to her nose. Whenever she thought she understood a species, something would happen that made her question things and thus push her into a state of needing more information. Namely scent. The young vampire was searching for any mention in the history about reasoning for the occassional lack of repulsion in scent between species. The biology of it, anything. Why.
Why. Why. Why.
The weather was growing warmer, but at this hour, where the sun begins to slowly set behind the clouds, the wind was cool as it danced the loose curls around her face. The mare puffed softly into the other side, with a sound of protest. It was time to get back.
"I know, I know. I'm almost done with this chapter, then we'll be on our way and you can have extra carrots. I promise." Einin murmured, and flipped a worn page of her book. But before she could actually finish the chapter, he mind began to wander. To other things. Other people. Phineas, and Rhys mostly. One she missed so terribly that it made her bones ache beneath her skin. The other she found to be so beautiful that she wanted to care, but found herself bitter instead because the two were so tightly entwined that she no longer felt she had control of either.
No, not control... she didn't have the...attention she needed. She didn't feel important. Loved. Which she knew was silly. Phineas loved her, she didn't doubt that for a second. But she felt like it was slipping...slowly fading because of his affection towards Rhys, their half brother. Maybe it was her fault. Maybe she chose Rhys wrongly. He was so beautiful, so perfect, so...right. She didn't see him as a threat at the time, just as something that would make her brother light up. Einin always wanted to see Phineas's face bright like that. Happy. Maybe something in her was drawn to his blood, their blood.
Now, Rhys always slept in Phineas's bed. Phineas always did everything with Rhys. And she was alone a lot of the time with her books, her horse, her father, with duty, and knowledge, darling Milo, but alone... Always alone. She would rather be alone than risk taking the light from her brother. Her brother who had the potential to be so dark. She held the reins, and only she could do that. She had to keep control of Phineas, keep him happy, for his, her, and everyone elses sake.
The tree's rustled loudly, natures warning to go. Without thinking, Einin wipes the wetness of tears from her cheeks and stood. The book was tucked inside her bag and soon Gia was on all fours with the girl climbing on her back, "Take us home, Gia. My beautiful, Gia." She straightened and took a breath, but the gloss remained in a sheet over her eyes, forbidding her to forget that her insides were turning to ice.
You can't hide it.
Not forever.
"I can if I have to." She whispered aloud.
The ride home, to the stables was quiet, and slow. But Gia recieved the extra carrots as promised, and Einin was happy to give them to her before she set into a slow brushing. 'Do you ever miss me, Phineas? Do you ever wonder if we're falling apart? Being torn the way Betavia and Neveah were? The way fathers twins are...content to be apart... Do you?'
On this day, Gia was laying down under the shade of a willow tree with Einin lounging back against her with a book to her nose. Whenever she thought she understood a species, something would happen that made her question things and thus push her into a state of needing more information. Namely scent. The young vampire was searching for any mention in the history about reasoning for the occassional lack of repulsion in scent between species. The biology of it, anything. Why.
Why. Why. Why.
The weather was growing warmer, but at this hour, where the sun begins to slowly set behind the clouds, the wind was cool as it danced the loose curls around her face. The mare puffed softly into the other side, with a sound of protest. It was time to get back.
"I know, I know. I'm almost done with this chapter, then we'll be on our way and you can have extra carrots. I promise." Einin murmured, and flipped a worn page of her book. But before she could actually finish the chapter, he mind began to wander. To other things. Other people. Phineas, and Rhys mostly. One she missed so terribly that it made her bones ache beneath her skin. The other she found to be so beautiful that she wanted to care, but found herself bitter instead because the two were so tightly entwined that she no longer felt she had control of either.
No, not control... she didn't have the...attention she needed. She didn't feel important. Loved. Which she knew was silly. Phineas loved her, she didn't doubt that for a second. But she felt like it was slipping...slowly fading because of his affection towards Rhys, their half brother. Maybe it was her fault. Maybe she chose Rhys wrongly. He was so beautiful, so perfect, so...right. She didn't see him as a threat at the time, just as something that would make her brother light up. Einin always wanted to see Phineas's face bright like that. Happy. Maybe something in her was drawn to his blood, their blood.
Now, Rhys always slept in Phineas's bed. Phineas always did everything with Rhys. And she was alone a lot of the time with her books, her horse, her father, with duty, and knowledge, darling Milo, but alone... Always alone. She would rather be alone than risk taking the light from her brother. Her brother who had the potential to be so dark. She held the reins, and only she could do that. She had to keep control of Phineas, keep him happy, for his, her, and everyone elses sake.
The tree's rustled loudly, natures warning to go. Without thinking, Einin wipes the wetness of tears from her cheeks and stood. The book was tucked inside her bag and soon Gia was on all fours with the girl climbing on her back, "Take us home, Gia. My beautiful, Gia." She straightened and took a breath, but the gloss remained in a sheet over her eyes, forbidding her to forget that her insides were turning to ice.
You can't hide it.
Not forever.
"I can if I have to." She whispered aloud.
The ride home, to the stables was quiet, and slow. But Gia recieved the extra carrots as promised, and Einin was happy to give them to her before she set into a slow brushing. 'Do you ever miss me, Phineas? Do you ever wonder if we're falling apart? Being torn the way Betavia and Neveah were? The way fathers twins are...content to be apart... Do you?'