Caius D'Onofrio (poweroftheeye) wrote in shadows_rpg, @ 2018-07-07 08:45:00 |
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Entry tags: | #november 2017, caius, caius x zania, zania |
Who: Zan and Caius
When: evening, Friday, Nov 3
Where: Zan's house, out by the ocean
Status: Complete
Caius had more or less locked himself away after Wednesday night. He’d gone home to find that his house didn’t quite feel the way he remembered it. It looked like he hadn’t been living there for a while, at least not full time. His mail had piled up, almost all of his clothes were gone from his bedroom, he didn’t even have a toothbrush there. It all made Caius feel crazy, like he’d walked into some other dimension where his life wasn’t the same at all. He’d drank heavily that night and slept on stale sheets. The next day was a mixture of more drinking, while he went through all of the pictures on his phone and his computer and his social media. Reagan was everywhere. He stared hard at specific pictures, trying his best to recall anything about those moments, those trips they’d apparently taken, the things they’d done together. His memory was full of holes and blank walls.
He’d requested Friday off anyway for his birthday, and Caius woke up on the day of with a slight hangover and a determination to do something for himself. Caius got cleaned up and left town mid-morning to take himself shopping in Bangor. Being in a different town made him feel more normal, more together. He had a problem on his hands, but before he tackled it, he wanted to enjoy his goddamn birthday. He got a simple Happy birthday text from Reagan, but Caius didn’t respond. By the time he made it back to Point Pleasant, it was almost dinnertime. He’d eaten breakfast and lunch alone, and he had the sudden hankering for some good company. He might not remember Reagan, but he remembered plenty of other things. Other people.
Caius parked in the Castell’s driveway just as the sun was starting to go down. He loped up the porch steps and walked to the front door, straightening the shoulders on his blazer before he knocked on the door. He had Zan’s phone number, but why use it when being kidnapped seemed more her speed? Her car was here, so she was home, and she’d always liked surprises.
It was the day before the full moon and everything seemed to be in order. The cage was done, the bullets were made, and she had candles for herself and everyone else that didn’t plan on caging a werewolf in their house. It was all in Vex and Lem’s hands now, though she’d promised them that she and Nic were on call if they needed anything. Anything at all. She doubted she’d sleep the night of the full moon, but tonight was free and she intended to enjoy it. It was a Friday, after all, and Fridays were still for fun, even if she was a grown ass adult.
She was standing in the kitchen, debating what to do for dinner, specifically which bottle of wine to open, when someone knocked at the door. While they weren’t expecting anyone, having neighbors they were actually friends with resulted in house guests more often than they’d ever had and she wasn’t complaining. “Coming!” she yelled out, her boots clicking on the wood floor as she hurried to the door. She was still dressed from work in black skinny jeans and old band t-shirt, though when she opened the door she wished she’d put her jacket on first. It was fucking cold outside. “Caius?” she blinked, surprised to see him there. It had been years since he’d shown up at her door. High school, probably, or when she was home from college. “Is everything okay?”
Caius had dressed well enough for going out of town, dark jeans and a black henley shirt with a jacket over it all. He’d always tolerated the cold better than most, considering his element, so the chill didn’t bother him. His hands were tucked in his front pockets when Zan opened the door, and Caius gave her a half-smile. She looked cute. He couldn’t remember the last time they’d spent any significant time together, but it felt like it had been quite a while. Maybe longer than made sense, but ... everything was a little fuzzy. And honestly, maybe he didn’t give a shit right then about clearing it up. “Hey Zan,” he greeted, leaning one shoulder in the doorway and giving her a once-over glance. “You busy? Come have dinner with me.”
Zania narrowed her eyes, a little smile on her lips as she tried to read the situation. He looked good, but Caius always looked good. Better put together than she managed on a day to day basis. Her immediate answer was yes, of course, just let her grab her coat, but that wasn’t taking into account that under no normal circumstances should he be at her door. Last she checked, he’d gone and gotten married. “What about Reagan? You two have a fight?” She was used to being part of his revenge plot, if it could be called that, but that was ages ago. Now she was skeptical, as appealing as the offer might be.
So Reagan’s influence was here too. Caius’s smirky expression soured a bit, even though he couldn’t logically fault Zan for the questions. He’d apparently been married, after all. And everyone kept telling him how they’d been a couple since high school. It was so insane to think about, and he really just didn’t want to tonight. He scraped his teeth over his bottom lip and shook his head. “Not ... exactly. But we’re not together right now. I dunno what’ll happen. Long story,” he said. Caius wasn’t sure if that would be enough for Zania or not, but he didn’t want to launch into the whole crazy thing right there on the porch. “So, dinner? My treat.” Obviously.
Zania eyed him for a beat more, then smirked, opening the door wider for him to come in. Sure, he was married, but it wasn’t like she was going to sleep with him. It was just dinner and he was a friend, despite his wife’s never ending hatred of her. “Come on in,” she said. “I just need to grab my coat. Unless I should change? You’re all fancy.” Not by a lot, but she was in a t-shirt. Zania led the way into her house, expecting him to follow. She realized belatedly that he’d never actually been inside and looked over her shoulder to make sure he was following. “So what’ve you been up to since, what? Last Friday? Has it only been a week?”
He was taking that smirk of hers as a good sign. Caius stepped into the house and glanced around. He had never been inside before ... as far as he remembered, anyway. Maybe all of them had been friends and they’d played cards here every weekend or some shit. Everything having to do with Reagan seemed to have been scrubbed from his brain, so who knew what all he had actually lost. The decor of the place definitely seemed to be to Zan’s taste, and it made him smile a tiny bit as he followed her deeper inside. “Has it?” he asked, his gaze still roaming. “Oh yeah, the uh ... costume gala thing ...” Caius remembered that, but only vaguely. Too vaguely for only a week passing? He frowned a bit. “There’s uh ... seems like it’s been an eventful week.” He picked up a trinket from a table he was passing and set it down again.
“Right? I love the story they’re going with the cover the Halloween crisis. How many times can they blame drugs before the government gets involved? Drugs in the water, laced halloween candy, whatever,” Zania said, pulling on her leather jacket and grabbing her purse, tossing her keys inside. She watched him pick up a small opaque orb, her lips twitching up for a moment. “It’s just a toy,” she said, nodding towards it. “It lights up when you lie.” It was the kind of thing she made when she was bored and high. It seemed like a good idea at the time. She took a second to scribble down a note for Nic, then headed back Caius’ direction. “Okay, let’s go,” she smiled. “You can fill me in on what’s up on the way.”
Oh right, Halloween. Caius had heard things about what had happened, but he hadn’t been able to recall what exactly he’d been doing that night. He vaguely remembered being out on the water, but ... why? He knew he hadn’t gotten caught up in all the madness -- which couldn’t have been drugs, the town had been cursed for a night -- and that was good, but it didn’t feel like enough. Nothing was feeling like enough and he was completely off balance. Caius hated it. He just grunted to what Zania said, not having anything to contribute that would make sense to her yet, then nodded when she was ready. “I might have to take the long way, then,” he muttered as he moved to hold the door for her. Caius led the way to his car and climbed back into it, revving the engine a bit once Zan was settled before he pulled out of the drive and headed off, tires chirping. That restlessness in his chest made him want to drive fast, and drive far, even though he’d already been gone all day.
“That bad?” Zania asked with a snort of amusement. “And here I thought you two were past this.” Not that she had any idea, but she assumed that Reagan and Caius were together for good when she heard they got married, living the Happily Ever After dream and all that nonsense. Not that it was a bad thing, but it just didn’t seem real to her. Apparently it wasn’t. Zania settled in his car, running her hands over the leather seats as she stretched out. “You always have the nicest things,” she grinned over at him. “So what are you in the mood for? Or do you want to surprise me?” If it was her choice, she’d probably take them out of town, off to find something more exotic than the normal Point Pleasant fare. Plus, that would keep the gossip down. She was well aware that if anyone saw them together, word would get back to Reagan.
Zania made it sound like he and Reagan not being together was something that wasn’t too out of the ordinary. Caius didn’t keep a journal or anything, and right now he was cursing himself for that. He could’ve benefitted from reading his own perspective on all of this. He felt like he’d stepped into another Caius’s life, one he didn’t even know. He’d almost forgotten that he’d lured Zan out with the promise of dinner until she asked, and he cleared his throat, one eye narrowing as he thought. “How about ... can we pick up something to go? And just park somewhere?” he asked, glancing over at her. It probably sounded like a cheap cop-out, but Caius suddenly didn’t feel like sitting at a restaurant. He wanted to go somewhere out in the open, maybe sit on the hood of his car with the breeze around them and eat. “I just ... need someone to talk to,” he added in a quieter tone. Did he, though? Caius had thought he didn’t want to talk, at least not about anything real. He wanted to touch someone he actually recognized. Reclaim something he felt like he’d lost control of. He wanted to kiss Zania and fuck her in the back of his car and just have some fun. She’d always been fun ... right? But his head was all fucked up and he kept swinging from mood to mood and that probably made him shitty company, but she was stuck with him now. “I need a fuckin’ ... sanity check.”
“Ooooookay, but you better do better than burgers and shakes from Moxie’s,” Zania said, less than impressed with the sudden decision to go through a drive through and go park. Because parking usually meant fooling around and that had been off the table for a good long while. Caius was a good time, he always had been, but sometime after college she’d decided she needed to gain some self respect and stop screwing a guy that only wanted her when he was fighting with his girlfriend. She liked to think she could do better, even if it had been a while since there’d been anyone at all. “You know I’m always good to listen,” she said with a bit more seriousness. That was something she could do. She might not offer the best advice, but the fact that he was turning to her meant something was definitely wrong. “Let’s go pick something up. We’ll see if we can’t get your head back on straight.”
Caius did much better than Moxie’s. He pulled his phone out and with some consultation with Zania, called in a pickup order to The Boathouse. They put a rush on it, because he was who he was, and by the time Caius drove them over there, they only had to wait another ten or so minutes. Caius bought a bottle of wine too, and tipped generously before he carried it all back to the car. He didn’t talk much as he took them up to the spot he’d had in mind -- a private little parking spot high up on one of the cliffs that overlooked the ocean. It was gently breezy and not too dark with the moon almost full, and there was one rickety picnic table. In spite of it being a Friday night, there didn’t seem to be any kids parked up there to make out. There must’ve been a football game or something going on. Caius waited until he and Zan had settled at the table with their food, then really looked at her. “We did a spell, apparently,” he said. “Reagan and I. Broke a curse. According to my father, it was a curse that went back generations, some Romeo and Juliet bullshit. Reagan and I broke it ... and now something’s happened to me, and I don’t remember her. At all. I just ... to me, woke up naked and covered in blood glyphs in a house I didn’t recognize with a woman I didn’t know. And I’m pretty sure I’m losing my fucking mind.”
If she didn’t know better, Zania would’ve thought this was an attempt to seduce her— a gorgeous view under the moon, gourmet food and wine, and a little table all to themselves. She was sappy enough that it might’ve charmed her, had their history been different. She listened as they settled in, swirling her wine in her glass. There was probably something wrong with her that Zania’s first thought was how hot that must’ve been, to see Caius naked and covered in blood glyphs. The rest took a minute to process and Zania sipped at her wine as the situation sunk in. “This was the problem you mentioned the other night. The spell your father couldn’t break. You did it,” Zania said, her smile bittersweet. It was clear this wasn’t the result he’d hoped for, that either something had gone terribly wrong or there had been protections put in place if the curse was broken. It sounded like his father had already gotten involved, which Zania didn’t consider a good thing. She couldn’t say why, but the man always seemed like bad news. “So you don’t remember her at all? You’ve been together on and off as long as I can remember. Since, like, early high school, I think.”
Another wave of frustration rolled through Caius at the first thing Zania said. He vaguely remembered being at the gala, vaguely remembered talking to her ... he even remembered her costume and appreciating her curves in it. But he couldn’t recall what they’d talked about exactly, or who else he’d spent time with at that thing. He had so many semi-memories like that, like he’d spent most of his life drunk or something. Nobody had mentioned to him yet that it had been a curse his father couldn’t break, so that was nice to know. He let out a heavy sigh and ran a hand through his hair before reaching for his own cup of wine to drain it. “That’s what everybody keeps saying,” he muttered as he gave himself a refill. He was glad he’d gotten a big bottle. “I don’t remember her at all. I never saw her before waking up with her hovering over me. That’s how I feel, anyway. But there’s so many ... blank spots. In my memory. Big blurry gaps.” He paused to take a drink, then looked over at her again. “I remember you though,” he murmured.
“Well, I’d hope so,” Zania said with a little smirk. “I try to be memorable.” She doubted that had anything to do with him remembering her though. If this was about wiping Reagan from his memories, then their time together would’ve gone mostly untouched. They’d never been friends, she had rarely been discussed. His problem was intriguing though, and she wanted to know more about it, if he was willing to talk about it. “The blank spots, they’re probably memories you shared with her. Conversations with her, or about her. It sounds like a memory manipulation spell, and a rather thorough one at that. But I can definitely imagine you’d feel crazy. That’s a lot of blank space.”
Zania was memorable, and maybe that was why Caius had wanted to call on her first. There were other women in town he’d bedded, but they hadn’t occurred to him to steal away for dinner. Maybe because most of them were boring mundane people, and Zan was anything but that. He nodded at her words -- that much was obvious. Caius didn’t expect her to help or have any solutions, he just needed to talk about it with someone, he supposed. Someone who would at least understand that there was apparently magic behind it all. He scrubbed a hand over his face and back through his hair to fluff it up. “We were really off and on, huh?” he asked, wrinkling his nose a bit. “Seems like ... I dunno, I would give up on something like that after a while.” He wasn’t the most patient person in the world, even when it came to women.
“You’d think so, right?” Zania said with a little laugh. “I don’t know a lot about your relationship with her. She wasn’t really my preferred conversation topic. But you always seemed to get back with her.” She didn’t really understand it, honestly. If she’d been with a guy who kept breaking up with her and sleeping with other girls, Zania wouldn’t have lasted that long. Years of that, back and forth, seemed exhausting. Emotionally draining. The time when they were together had to be euphoric to keep it going. “You had to have been happy with her, Cai. You married her, for fuck’s sake. That’s just not the side of you I knew.”
It was becoming clear that Zania hadn’t been -- still wasn’t? -- a fan of Reagan’s. He didn’t remember anything between the two of them being overly romantic, but he had to wonder if there wasn’t a bit of jealousy mixed in there. Or maybe he was just too full of himself. Caius didn’t feel balanced enough to know for sure at the moment. “I feel like I don’t even know myself,” he muttered. It made sense that he’d been in love with Reagan if they’d gotten married; that didn’t seem like a bad decision he would make. But people did stupid shit for love all the time, didn’t they? Who even was he when he was with her? How could he know? He’d been hoping for a bit of insight from Zan, but that obviously wasn’t in the cards. “I wasn’t sure if ... we were all friends, and maybe I lost memories of the both of you ... I just ... everything in my head’s a mess. Sorry if it’s a sore topic or something.”
Zania laughed a little, leaning her head against her hand, elbow propped up on the table. “It’s not a sore subject. I don’t have anything against her. But I’m pretty sure she hates me. Tolerates me publicly, when she has to, but… we mostly hooked up when you two were broken up, so I’m sure she blames me.” She shrugged. Sometimes it bothered her, but most of the time she knew she made things worse. Caius had been looking for a distraction and she’d been willing to give it to him. “I don’t really help the situation,” she said, rolling her eyes. “We’re just very different people. She’s better friends with Nic. Not close, but I know they talk. She only comes into the shop when he’s working.” Poking at her food for a moment, she thought about his earlier statement. “You’re still you, but she was a big part of your life. I’m sure things will be a little jumbled until you get your memories back.”
Caius gave a soft huff, mostly at himself. Whenever he and Reagan would break up -- and that sounded like it happened often -- he would run to hook up with Zania? And now where was he? What had his original desires for the night been? Some things obviously didn’t change even without the memories to back them up. “She’d love this, then.” Caius’s face sobered some at the rest of what she said while he picked at his own food. He’d been pretty hungry before, but not so much now. He really just wanted to drink himself into oblivion again. He was still him. Did he even know what that meant, though? So many things he’d tried to think back on were so fuzzy or outright blank. Was a person still that person with so much of their life missing. “And what if that doesn’t happen?” he asked, looking up at her again. Caius knew she didn’t have an answer, but he couldn’t help all this existential angst. “Do I stay married to a woman I don’t know? Try to rekindle something? If we’ve been together that long ... nobody’s still who they were in high school. At least, I fuckin’ hope not. I just have no idea what I should be doing right now.”
“Oh definitely,” Zania smirked, unable to help herself. She’d wondered what was up the second Caius showed up at her door and still came out with him, despite what Reagan might think. Because Caius was a friend. They weren’t close, not anymore, but that wasn’t necessarily her choice. She considered his situation for a moment, sipping at her wine again. “I think… if it were me… I wouldn’t want to make that decision quite yet. Set your marriage aside-- I’d want to figure out the spell. I’d want to know exactly what happened-- what spell, what ingredients, how it all went down-- and then see if I could break it. Not the curse. It sounds like you broke that, but whatever’s effecting you now. Cause the idea of living the rest of my life with half my memories gone? That’s fucking bullshit. Before I give up and move on, I’d want to be one hundred percent sure that I can’t get them back.” She drummed her fingers on the table for a beat. “I never thought you the sort to give up easily either.”
Caius couldn’t help but look a little dubious as Zania spoke. It wasn’t that it was bad advice -- detailed research was his bread and butter when it came to magic. It was just that, if he was understanding the situation right, it sounded pretty impossible. “I’m not giving up,” he said, unable to help but sound a little grumbly about it. “I just ... where the hell would I start doing that? This curse was hundreds of years old, by my notes. On our families for generations. Figuring out the details of only one part of it? The shitty rider or whatever? I dunno, Zan.” Caius leaned back a bit and sighed, lifting his cup to down some more wine. “I want to get them back, of course. I’m going to do everything I can to fix this, but I just have no clue where to start, and I don’t ... everything feels so jumbled.” He hated this feeling of being helpless and clueless. Granted, everything was still very fresh, but it was still frustrating.
“So maybe chill a little. Don’t focus on the holes. That’ll make you crazy,” Zania said. She knew it had to feel pressing, but there was no rush. He wasn’t in danger, so he could be patient. “You’re right though. You don’t actually have to know the spell that did it. Or the rider, which is what’s got you now. But you know the result, so you can always work with that. It’s a memory spell. That’s where I’d start.” She was sure she had some notes on such a thing, but she’d never done one before. The problem was that Zania had notes on all kinds of spells and, having not done them herself, she didn’t know how well they worked, or if they did something else entirely. People’s memories weren’t exactly something she wanted to mess around with for practice. “This could be good for you though. If you really don’t know who you are without her, this is your chance to find out.”
The fact that his father couldn’t help was discouraging. Anthony was the most accomplished witch he knew, not afraid to get his hands dirty in the dark stuff, with commanding control of himself and his power. Granted, he hadn’t completely dismissed the possibility, just said it wasn’t an area of magic he knew anything about ... maybe he would work with Caius on fixing it. And there was the fact that Caius had broken a curse he’d been unable to break, so that said something, didn’t it? Even if Anthony couldn’t help, Caius would definitely start looking on his own. He just hoped Reagan could be patient and wouldn’t do anything rash. He’d gotten the impression that her personality was pretty true to her element. “It could be, yeah,” he agreed with Zania’s final point, giving her a faint smile. “It’s so strange ... when I’m not thinking about it, I feel like I know myself, like everything’s normal. But if I try to focus on anything even remotely related, it all unravels. I start questioning everything. I feel like I need a vacation somewhere, I dunno. Do I seem different to you? I know we’re not close anymore, but just in general?”
Zania wished she had more answers for him, that she’d spent more time with him over the past few years, but the only person who could probably answer his questions was the one he didn’t remember. It had to be a horrible feeling, being so unsure of himself, but also losing the person closest to you in a way that made it feel like they never existed in the first place. She didn’t have anyone like Caius did, but if Nic was suddenly missing from her life, she was pretty sure she’d unravel at a frantic pace. “I don’t think so. You seem… less sure of yourself. Less cocky. And a little bit lost. But I’m pretty sure that’s normal, considering your situation. I’d have to be around you more to know if you’re saying or doing things you wouldn’t normally do before. And I’m not sure it should work like that anyways, unless Reagan had that much pull on you.” Which might’ve been the case, but she wouldn’t know. Unless Caius went off the rails. That would be a pretty good clue.
Caius didn’t really like the sound of that. Less sure of himself, less cocky, lost ... less confident. Of course, his world had just been rocked in a very fundamental way, but he still didn’t like it. He sighed and ran his hand through his hair again, then rested his elbows on the table as he picked up his fork to poke at the food some more. So much for a fun dinner to quell that restless feeling in his chest. It was probably good to talk about it though, and with someone who wasn’t really involved. “We’ll find out, I guess,” he muttered, glancing up at Zan again with a faint smile. Her attitude toward him now was different than he remembered, but he guessed that made sense. He might have taken his ring off, but that wouldn’t make other people forget that he was married. And if Reagan had a jealousy problem that he’d manipulated in the past ... Maybe he needed a trip out of town. “But enough about me,” he added with a faint huff. “How are things with you?”
She wished she could do more to make him smile, to bring back the attitude and confidence that she found so sexy. Zania realized that she probably could, but it felt wrong just thinking about it. The only reason she’d have a chance was because he couldn’t remember his wife. “Right now? I’m helping some friends hunt down a werewolf,” Zania said with a grin that was likely inappropriate considering the amount of danger related to the task. Just talking about it lit her up, eyes sparkling as she continued on. “We’ve built a cage, crafted silver bullets, and I made these candles for people to put in their windows to help keep them safe. We sold a few, but you know the number of believers in this town is insanely low, especially consider what we go through. I don’t really know how it’s all going to go down, but you’d best stay in tomorrow night. Just to be safe.”
His thick brows lifted briefly at the word ‘werewolf,’ and Caius couldn’t help but grin at the rest of it. Really, it was more at the way Zania looked talking about it. She would get excited about something like that. He did remember the recent rash of ‘animal attacks’ around the full moon, and it was nice to actually remember something clearly. “Maybe I’ll have to swing by the shop tomorrow to pick one up,” he said. “I’m back in my place in Overlook, I need to refresh the wards and everything on it.” Caius almost asked if they needed some extra firepower, but he probably had enough on his plate. Zan and Nic were both formidable witches, he was sure they and their ‘friends’ could handle it. “Best of luck. Give me a shout if you need to uh, call in the cavalry or something.”
“You gonna rush in and save my pretty little ass?” Zania asked with a laugh, then shook her head, her dreadlocks bouncing around her face. “I think we’ve got it. We’re painting the streets with blood in an effort to direct the thing. Or something like that. We’re not super organized, but I couldn’t find a spell related to luring in werewolves, so this seemed like the next best thing.” She had more spells to go through than she had time, boxes of them she’d never even read, but she couldn’t pass them up. There was no telling when she might need one. “Oh, and Nic met with the other people experiencing the weird mirror-dream thing I told you about. Turns out one of them knows a dream walker, so they’re gonna see if she can help them.”
He knew she was giving him shit, but Caius couldn’t help but smirk at the first part. “I would gladly rush in to save your pretty little ass anytime,” he said with a cocky lilt to his voice. The Castells were powerful, yes, but as far as Caius knew they didn’t delve much into blood magic, so he had the upper hand when it came to some things. Blood was powerful for destructive magic. “Sounds like a good plan though, hope you catch it. And a dream walker, huh? Interesting.” He pursed his lips a bit and looked thoughtful. Dreams were intricately tied to the subconscious. He hadn’t been dreaming about Reagan yet, but he had to wonder if someone with those sorts of powers could unlock some deeply buried memories. If they hadn’t all been outright destroyed, that was. “Hope she can help and he gets that cleared up. Nobody likes their brain being fucked with.”
“Yeah, it kinda sucks,” Zania sighed, realizing that was his issue as well. Any time something started poking around in your head, messing with your thoughts, dreams, or memories, it was bound to get bad. The problem was when you couldn’t see what you were fighting. “We’ll see what happens. It all feels painfully slow. I like problems I can tackle immediately, you know? The sitting and waiting drives me crazy.” But patience was a requirement sometimes, especially with complicated magic. It made her think more about Caius’ spell, the curse that had taken his memories. “Hey, I was wondering… The blood glyphs. Did you heal them? Or do you still have the scars?”
From what he remembered of her -- which was apparently pretty comprehensive, since she and Reagan didn’t spend time together -- Zania wasn’t very good at patience, so her words brought a fond and amused sort of smile to his face. As arrogant and ambitious as he was, he was good at patience. He’d been raised on thorough study and hard work, and he often privately thought that air was the most intellectual element. The world needed impulsive doers though, and Caius kind of admired the trait in Zan. He arched a brow, looking questioning for a second, then shook his head. “They weren’t carved, just smeared. I read back over my notes, and the ritual needed three sets of blood, so ... I’ve got plenty of other scars though. More than you saw last time,” he added with another little smirk.
“Probably good they weren’t carved,” Zania grinned. “Way less painful.” She’d been thinking they had appeared upon breaking the curse, but it made more sense if they were part of the spell. It also meant they wouldn’t be all that helpful in dismantling the memory spell. Shame. “What have you been up to that needs your blood?” She sipped at her wine as she hid her smile, too curious not to ask. She knew what was out there and knew how dangerous some of it could be. She’d dabbled here and there, had a scar that ran across her left palm as a result, but it was more out of seeking knowledge than the power that came with it.
Caius shrugged a shoulder at the mention of pain. Cutting himself was something he was very used to now, and the pain of it usually served to focus him more than anything else. His smirk deepened at the question and he tilted his head at her. “Wouldn’t you like to know,” he murmured to tease her. Obviously she would like to know, or she wouldn’t have asked. Caius may have had huge gaps in his memory, but he seemed to recall plenty of magic that Reagan hadn’t been involved in. Rituals with his father, stuff he did on his own. He remembered taking on the Obscurities vividly, and had the impression that he’d used them a few times ... but none of that was clear. “A lot of what I do needs my blood. But specifically ... I can do this now ...” Caius blinked and called the shadow spirits in him forward, and the entirety of his eyes went black. He grinned at Zania.
Zania rolled her eyes, thinking he wasn’t going to give her anything, but then he was looking back at her with eyes so dark she could drown in them. She’d seen that before, occasionally, when Nic went farther down the necromancy rabbit hole. But she’d never seen it happen at will. It made her skin prickle and her blood rush and there was something so ridiculously hot about it on Caius that she couldn’t help but be turned on a little. Zania set her glass down and leaned in. “How are you doing it?” she asked, her eyes wide, attention full on Caius. “Is it feeding off your blood? What does it-- what do they grant you?” She could feel them, even if she couldn’t see them. Something there, in the shadows. Power hungry little leeches that would drink him dry if he’d let them.
Caius’s vision was perfectly clear now, everything bright as day to him even if it was night around them. Zania’s hair was stunningly red, and he could see the magic surrounding her, like an aura, or like transparent waves of heat coming off of her, jagged and flame-shaped. It was beautiful. His grin turned a bit more wolfish as she caught on to what was going on, his black gaze locked onto her. “We’re still settling in with each other,” he said. “I learned to keep them dormant most of the time, but sometimes they get excited. So far, it’s ... I can see in the dark, I can see magical signatures, I’m learning to read them ... I can use them for offense, defense, in short bursts ... there’s some maintenance involved, but I don’t ask much of them yet, so it’s not intensive.” There was complicated magic at play to keep the Obscurities just the right amount of tame, it was a balancing act. But Caius’s confidence that he could handle it hadn’t wavered yet.
Zania bit her lip, drawn to the darkness like a moth to the flame. “What would happen if I made them an offering?” she asked, reaching into her purse and withdrawing a small object, a butterfly knife that she flipped open with a quick twitch of her wrist. It was a dangerous little thing, and she’d cut herself a number of times through the years as she learned to weld it, but these days it felt like an extension of her hand, opening and closing as she sat gazing into Caius’ eyes. She realized that these things lived inside him all the time, that he was learning to control them, and how dangerous that had the potential to be. Like letting little demons inside his skin. But the power they lent him was incredible.
The knife gleamed in Caius’s vision like liquid silver, and he felt the Obscurities stir into paying more attention. It had taken a blood ritual to summon them and to draw them into him, so it made sense that they would react to blood, or the promise of it. He could feel tendrils of shadows starting to seep out of his skin, like thin smoke-fingers reaching over toward Zania. He doubted they were visible yet, but if she kept teasing, they might become so. Caius couldn’t help but get a little excited along with them, intricately tied as they were. “I’m not really sure,” he answered honestly, his tone low and musing. “It hasn’t come up yet. ... wanna find out?”
Turning the knife, Zania pressed the blade into the tip of her middle finger, then watched as a little red pearl of blood formed there. It should have hurt more, but she’d gotten used to it over time, that particular little prick. Other places still made her squirm sometimes. Lightening up on the pressure, she dragged the tip down her finger, scratching a thin little line of red, stopping at the base of her palm. Her eyes ticked up to Caius and she slid her hand across the table, closer to him. “It’s a little too tempting not to, isn’t it?” she asked with a smirk.
Caius watched Zania cut herself, a particular sort of heat pooling in his lower belly. His appreciation for blood usually related more to magic than anything else, but there was something intensely erotic about watching the pretty blade drag down Zan’s pretty skin. He wanted to taste it, slide his tongue along the tiny split of flesh. He scraped his teeth over his bottom lip without thinking about it, his black gaze shifting back up to Zania’s face. He reached out and slipped his hand under hers to gently lift it off the table. Caius dipped his head in and pressed a tiny kiss to the tip of Zania’s finger. He felt the warmth of her blood against his lips and he parted them a bit to get a small taste. The shadow-spirits inside of him reached out to caress her hand, too light to feel until they slipped into the open skin. They were tethered to Caius, and Zania wasn’t asking for them to merge with her, but that didn’t mean they couldn’t get a taste themselves. He could almost feel the connection himself, a faint tingling in his groin where he was more accustomed to penetrating someone.
At first it was just Caius and the eroticism of having him suck a drop of blood off her finger tip. That in itself spread heat throughout her body. But then the shadow-spirits slid into the cut and the world around her burst into color, like someone had turned on the lights in the middle of the night. “Oh,” she gasped softly as a surge of power shot through her, making her skin tingle. Zania reached out with her other hand, seeing the magic that came off of him in waves, light and airy. She tried to touch it and it curled around her fingers, tickling them gently. “This is… intoxicating,” she whispered. She could see now the power it offered him and imagined it would be so much stronger from within. It was definitely addictive, but worth it if he could keep it under control.
It was obvious when her perception changed, and it brought another smile to Caius’s lips. He could see what she was touching, the power that touched her back. He could sense that it felt a bit differently to Zania than it did to him, but that was all right. It still felt good. A low, thrumming pleasure in his core at sharing this with someone else. In a way that didn’t seem possible with anyone else. Caius was still holding onto Zan’s hand, and he gave the tip of her finger another light touch with his tongue, enjoying the connection. Part of him felt starved for affection, and while he knew intellectually that probably wasn’t reality, that didn’t stop him from feeling like he hadn’t been touched in months. “Isn’t it?” he murmured, soft and low. “I think they like you.”
Zania imagined that there were a multitude of ways that they could take advantage of this, but the one that came to mind had them writhing on the picnic table with blood smeared between them, little tiny cuts up her arms and legs feeding the spirits as they got high off the power. She shook the thought away despite its appeal, then smiled warmly back at Caius as he licked up another tiny drop of blood. “I like them,” she hummed softly, her body still pulsing with the shared power. She didn’t know how long it would last, but she didn’t want it to stop. Yet, she knew it should. Feeling like this, it was far too easy to cross the line.
Caius knew he should probably rein it in, call the spirits back into himself and quiet them down. He didn’t think that anything with the magic would get out of hand, but things between him and Zania might. Given what she’d said earlier, he’d gotten the impression that she didn’t really want that. It would be bad form to take advantage of the magic high. Maybe he ought to be thinking of Reagan too, about technically being married and not cheating on his wife ... but to his perspective he hadn’t had one until a few days ago, and he didn’t know her, so it was hard to feel that. And Zan looked gorgeous in this preternatural light. “It’s my birthday, you know,” he murmured, rubbing his thumb against her hand as he slowly lowered it back to the table. Caius didn’t completely let go though, not yet.
It was such a line that Zania laughed and actually considered crawling across the table to get to him. But it was also a reminder that he was her choice today only because he couldn’t remember Reagan. In all the years she’d known him, Zania was positive she’d never spent his birthday with him, even if it normally wasn’t a big deal. “I didn’t know,” she grinned. “I would’ve made you a cake.” Baking from a recipe was like following spell instructions, it required precision, but could be tampered with in small doses if you knew what you were doing. Zania enjoyed them both, but didn’t think she’d ever baked for Caius. Maybe cookies, but probably not. Not that cookies or cake were what was on his mind right now. Zania knew that much from the way he looked at her. Swallowing hard, Zania drew her hand back, immediately feeling the loss. The world went dark again and the buzz fizzled out, and she’d be lying if she said she didn’t miss it.
Caius felt the loss too, probably less so viscerally, but definitely in other ways. Zan was pulling back, away from him and the insinuations he was positive she had caught on to. It stung a little, and added to the frustration that was like a hard knot in his stomach -- everybody knew more about his life than he did. Things were not as he’d ‘left’ them. He didn’t know how to relate to anyone anymore. Caius did his best to smooth the disappointment over before any of it showed on his face, and he flexed his will to pull the Obscurities back into place. A few blinks later, his eyes were back to normal and the world was shadowy again. He reached for his cup of wine and drained it, then poured more. “Refill?” he asked Zania in a murmur, attempting to remind himself of where they were and what they were actually doing.
She hated this, feeling like she was letting him down when he’d been the one to put her in this situation. But he didn’t remember, so she couldn’t really blame him. Zania had never been especially good at turning down Caius, but there was a difference between being sixteen and on a break and being their age and married. It was a commitment, the vows almost like a spell, except it took conscience to enforce it instead of magic. “Please,” she said, draining her glass and holding it out for him. “We might as well finish it.” Two glasses each and they’d be close to done. It wouldn’t be hard to throw down another. She was silent for a moment, but then couldn’t keep her mouth shut. “I’m not trying to be difficult.”
He agreed that they might as well finish it, so he split what was left in the bottle between their glasses. Caius would have a bunch of food to take home, as his appetite had pretty much completely left him, but he was all right with that. Zan’s additional statement made him quirk an eyebrow. “Is this you being difficult? That’s not how I remember it,” he murmured with a small smirk. The amusement didn’t last long though, and Caius studied her shadowy face. “You’re not. So don’t ... I dunno, worry about it. I apologize for putting you in a ... complicated position. I’m having difficulty finding my footing through all this.” He’d wanted someone familiar to him, to scratch itches that he knew she could scratch, and it was selfish, he supposed. If he was going to ‘cheat’ on his wife with anyone, it probably shouldn’t be anybody who knew her. Maybe nobody in Point Pleasant at all. It wouldn’t be as comforting, but maybe it shouldn’t be. Caius didn’t know anymore.
The comment brought a grin to her lips, then a little laugh. “No, you’re right. If I was being difficult, there’d probably be shouting involved.” And less apologizing. When she really lost her temper, those didn’t come until later, once she’d cooled down a bit. This was just a case of her being a mature adult, something she rarely thought she was capable of until it presented itself. It tended to make her uncomfortable, even when she knew she was making the right choice. “It’s okay. I mean, I’m flattered, and I’m tempted, but… there are a lot of buts.” Some of which he probably wouldn’t even understand. But it all boiled down to one thing and she just couldn’t get past it— she would regret it. And if she ever wanted to remain friends with him, she didn’t need that wedge between them.
A lot of buts. That was probably going to be the story of Caius’s life going forward, wasn’t it? A lot of buts and complicated positions. It was depressing and bleak and he hated that he’d been saddled with this bullshit that he’d never asked for, but he tried to smother all that for the moment. It was a lot more nuanced than Zania just not wanting to fuck him, and he didn’t need to project it onto her. It wasn’t her fault. He could sulk in private later. “Don’t sweat it,” he murmured, not sure what else to say. Caius drank some more wine and made himself take another bite or two of food to soak up a little of it, at least. Maybe after he dropped Zan off back at home he could go to Cherries or ... something. Caius tried to think of something else to talk about, but kept coming up short.
Zania watched Caius as she took another sip of her wine, trying to decide if he was brooding or pouting. Brooding could be sexy. Pouting never was. She found herself drumming her fingers on the picnic table, wondering what he was thinking and annoyed that she had no clue, because that let her make up all kinds of thoughts in her head, none of which were likely valid. “Let me hear it,” she finally said. “You came to me because you needed to talk. So talk. Nothing you can say will upset me. Or, if it does, I’ll get over it.” He was in the unique position of her wanting to help him for no other reason than she liked him. He deserved better than this.
Caius cocked an eyebrow, though the expression didn’t mean much in the dark. Zania sounded a little defensive already, and it kind of made him wish he’d thought better of this before he’d turned up at her door. Thinking things through was usually his forte, but not so much lately. “There’s really not much to say that I haven’t already said,” he told her, his own tone calm and even. He wasn’t feeling that way, but putting up an ice wall was another talent of his. “My whole life is in shambles. Even going to work feels weird. It’s like I stepped into another version of me’s life and I don’t know what to do about it except pour myself into research. And drink. Been doing a lot of that.” He lifted his glass again with a faint chuckle.
“Why is work weird?” Zania asked, her brow drawing together. She imagined his home life was a mess, but work should have been separate, a haven untouched by Reagan. Zania was pretty sure she didn’t work with Caius, but perhaps her influence had seeped in even there. “Yeah, drinking’s good, but it doesn’t really solve things. Sometimes even makes it worse,” she said, curling up her nose a little. It was a hard learned lesson that she tried to keep in mind every time she turned to the bottle to solve her problems. It never really worked out that way.
“Pictures, questions from colleagues ... my father,” Caius answered, giving a dismissive wave of his hand. He didn’t want to talk about it. Honestly he didn’t want to talk about any of this anymore, especially if Zania was going to discourage him from drinking. Caius had no other outlet, it was booze or magic. Maybe it was time for him to get lost in the latter. In any case, it was obvious that he wasn’t going to get any real help here -- though he honestly didn’t know what that would look like -- or anything physical to take his mind off of everything. It was probably time to pack it in before his manners slipped. “Are you ready to head back?” he asked before he tossed back what was left in his glass.
Well, yes, Zania supposed that would make things a bit more complicated. She hadn’t thought a lot about his office, that he might have things like pictures, since her shop was kind of the opposite of a normal workplace. And her only colleague was her brother. She could tell they weren’t getting anywhere and considered suggesting they return home when he did that for her. Zania finished off her glass easily and nodded. “Yeah, it’s getting cold out here,” she said, wishing it was only that. Things had never been this uncomfortable with Caius before and she didn’t like it. It wasn’t fun like it used to be, but they couldn’t seem to get on the same page this time.
Caius could’ve fixed the cold, but he was ready to go, too. Guilt was gnawing on his edges; this hadn’t been a great idea. Granted, it hadn’t been a real idea in the first place, more of an impulse he followed in some desperate attempt to feel close to normal, but still. Bad impulse. It wasn’t Zan’s fault at all, and he was dimly grateful that she’d indulged him, but it was still pretty idiotic of him. He shouldn’t have subjected her to all this. Caius quickly went about packing up the food they didn’t eat, getting it all back into the bag, then stood to walk back to the car with her. He stayed quiet as they got settled again and he turned the heat on in the car as soon as it was running.
Zania helped him pack things up, ready to get out of there. The silence ate at her, but she didn’t know how to fill it for once, feeling a little bit like she was out there with a stranger. He knew her, but he didn’t. She’d changed, adapted to who they’d both become, but now he couldn’t remember why and it left them at odds. She could feel his disappointment and frustration and knew that now she was adding to it, but if there was a way to help, then she hadn’t figured it out. When she hopped in the car, she immediately put her hands up to the heater, trying to warm them before the air was even hot. “Music for the drive back?” she asked, though it was really a request. She couldn’t take the silence.
That was probably a good idea, and Caius didn’t argue, putting a playlist on from his phone through the car’s stereo. It was rock, more upbeat than he currently felt, but it was music he thought she could tolerate. The car warmed up pretty quickly, and before too long Caius wanted to crack the windows to feel the breeze, but he resisted the urge. Zan was a fire witch, and he knew she would be more comfortable in the warmth. He was pretty sure anyway. As much as he could be sure of anything. Did he know anyone at all anymore? It was hard to tell. He felt like he’d been in some kind of intermittent coma for his whole adult life, only awake for bits and spurts of it. Bits he couldn’t look at too closely or they started to dissolve. How did he even talk about how his whole identity felt like wet paper now? Lost in his own head again, Caius drove toward Ludlow on auto pilot. At least his sense of direction hadn’t dissolved too. As they pulled up into Zania’s driveway, he looked over at her again, turned the music down and did his best to focus. “Thanks for coming out with me,” he said quietly. “I’m sorry it’s ... weird.”
Zania relaxed into the warmth, at some point realizing it was probably a tad too much, but unwilling to say anything just for his benefit. If he was hot, he could turn it down. He might not know a lot of things, but he had to at least know when he was uncomfortable and could speak up. The trip home passed by with the music playing and before she knew it he had pulled into her driveway. The house lights were on, so Nic was still up, probably wondering where she’d run off to. Zania looked over at Caius and gave him a small smile. “It’s okay. I’m used to dealing with weird. This is just… new.” And things with Caius had been old. It was an adjustment she wasn’t expecting. “Maybe next time we’ll do something fun,” she said as she opened the door, not really expecting there to be a next time. “If you think of anything you’d like help with, let me know?”
‘New’ was a very diplomatic way to put it, and Caius gave her a faint smile back. He was pretty sure there wouldn’t be a next time either, at least not like this. He was obviously barking up a tree that had left him behind a long time ago. Much to her benefit, no doubt. “I will,” he assured her, not sure if that would happen either. Zania was a good magical resource, and maybe if Caius got himself cornered, he would call on her, but he didn’t know. At the moment he just kind of wanted to put the whole fucking town in his rearview for the foreseeable future, but making hasty decisions had never been his thing. He didn’t think. Fuck. “Night Zan,” Caius murmured, watching her get out.
A week ago, she would have considered a kiss goodbye, even just on the cheek. Now she knew that would send even more mixed signals, finding herself in the weird position where she was the one practicing restraint. And being a responsible adult. Ugh. So instead she just gave him a smile back, lingering for a second in the open door. “Night, Cai. Take care,” she said, then shut the door to head up to the house. She’d done all she could and it didn’t feel like enough, yet she couldn’t think of anything else she could have done to help. The problem was that Caius didn’t seem all that ready himself and she wasn’t sure how he would ever get there if he couldn’t remember what he should be fighting for.