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Tweak says, "CRUCIO!"

whitecotton (whitecotton) wrote in severus_sighs,
@ 2009-10-10 19:40:00

Entry tags:

challenge, ficlet, member: whitecotton, pairing: severus/harry

Into the Sun by WhiteCotton
Title: Into the Sun
Author: WhiteCotton
Pairing: Severus/Harry
Rating: PG-15
Word Count: 750
Warning(s): *Dark; elements of torture*
Summary: Written for atypicalsnowman's challenge on Severus Sighs: In one hour, write a short story (how short is up to you) wherein Severus starts at point A and ends at point B. How he gets from A to B is your choice. Point A: Severus is in a Death Eater Meeting and Voldemort has just told him that everyone knows he is a traitor. Point B: Severus is sitting in a cottage somewhere in Scotland and someone walks into the room.
A/N: Beta read by the challenge mistress herself, with my thanks.

I do not own or make any money from the characters or situations belonging, in all rights, to JK Rowling.

Into the Sun

The Dark Lord steps closer to where Severus is lying, his feet slide – slip-swish, slip-swish – nearer, just another kick away now and Severus' senses swim, his eyes blur, as he tries to focus.

“How very amusing, Severus.” Not amused at all. In fact there is nothing of amusement in the Dark Lord’s tone; but there is malice, there is hate, and Severus blanches. “Such a little thing you are, my dear friend ... my dear traitor. Infinitesimal...”

The Dark Lord circles – too small; too close. Severus braces himself and then jerks, biting his lips when a glossy red-tipped boot brushes his foot. He grunts on an exhale as the pain spears up his leg, up his spine and gasps – choking, vomit-tasting gulps – through the roaring, bowled through a jagged surge of pain. Closing his eyes, he prays for the cottage in the darkness.

“... Inconsequential.”

Severus throws up again, his stomach writhing, heaving on nothing but his own body. He can feel the shake in his arms, in his back; he can feel the smooth wood of his desk under his hands, tucked under the eaves and splashed gold by a warm May cheering happily through the window.

slip-swish, slip-swish

He bucks as the Dark Lord flicks his wand and – he needs to see it, to see behind him, to see the wand? – casts.

The pain streams and torrents, strands joining the others in a miasma of mind-piercing, devastating anguish and agony.

The cottage. Safe. Cottage.

“But what to do with you, my traitor ... that is the question, is it not?”

Throbbing everywhere, each miniscule part of him is heavy and pounding as the agony ebbs to a gut-wrenching pulse.

Trying to see what is happening, the need to know, is consuming; but even the fragile movement Severus manages disturbs the heavy, simmering pain into a boiling mass again. Instead, he wanders over to the bookcase in the corner, humming, and taps along the spines, looking. Shameful tears run a course down his cheeks, and it is the impotency of them, the hurt to his pride that expels a sob before he can catch it.

“My ... Judas ...”

He hears the crushing of silk robes, and knows the Dark Lord is crouched behind him, fostering the trembles and shakes, shattering the simmering anyway. Severus gasps on it, panting a litany of fingertip titles – Cowper’s The task; Leviathan; Graduale; Shriveni’s Lexicon; Milton’s Paradise Lost ...

He hears Harry calling him for lunch and considers ignoring him, enticing the exasperation into his study, into the May sunlight on his desk, but another Cruciatus changes his mind.

A kaleidoscope of pain screams along every nerve, jerking his shattered foot and wrist into brighter colours – Fuck! His lips work rabidly to change the litany from books to a sticky chatter, a pleading, begging Harry!

Then hands cup his face and he melts into them.

“Shall I kill you do you think? ... Advise me, my erudite traitor ... Come on. It’s cold, but it’ll dry up!”

The wand digging into the back of his neck prompts him and he spits blood as he wheezes, as he spits out, “Kill me.”

“What?” Harry asks, his voice threaded by both worry and realisation. “Severus, come back to me, now. You’re safe.”

Breathing on a sigh, he relishes the hands, ultimately gentle, caressing, and caring on his cheeks. They leave moist from the sweat pricking his skin and move to take his arms.

“Severus, you’re safe. Remember? We got you out of there.” Harry is anxious, Severus can tell. “We’re at the cottage, yes?”

Yes.

The cottage.

Safe.

Blinking, Severus feels the boil-to-simmer-to-numb, leaving him light and adrift for a moment. He is safe; he is free. The world cants back to normal and he almost staggers with the relief of it. Just in time, he manages to grab on to the shelves and steady himself. It is in the past, and everything is good now – he is good.

“Thank you,” he says. “I’m all right now. I’m here.”

Harry smiles and takes Severus by the arm, leading him slowly, carefully through the ray of sun dissecting his study and towards the door. “It’s ham salad, to celebrate the nice day.”

Severus grips Harry’s sleeve, inadvertently catching the tender skin of his arm, but he doesn’t – cannot let go. Luckily, Harry is too generous and loving to mention it.

Traitor ... Judas ...

“... and how shall I kill you, Severus ...?”

The End

(Post a new comment)

atypicalsnowman
2009-10-10 07:08 pm UTC (link)

Had to recheck the author's name for a moment since this is a grand departure from your usual smut and story. This was unexpected and the story had me worried and crying out for Severus until the end.

And that fucking end. Goodness, you know how to wretch someone's heart out of their chest. Can I choose to believe Severus just needs a bit of care for him to snap out of it?

Terribly lovely, darling.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

	whitecotton 2009-10-10 07:16 pm UTC (link)
	Yes, you may, and don't for one minute think I shall ever write one so dark again, so don't ask! _{This little piece of cotton needs a hug} (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	lemondropseven 2009-10-10 07:47 pm UTC (link)
	hugs the little piece of cotton (Reply to this) (Parent)

	atypicalsnowman 2009-10-10 10:27 pm UTC (link)
	firm embrace (Reply to this) (Parent)

	shoeboxes4all 2009-10-10 07:17 pm UTC (link)
	Oh. That's left me a bit breathless. He's OK, isn't he? :sobs: (Reply to this) (Thread)

	whitecotton 2009-10-10 07:19 pm UTC (link)
	With Harry caring for him, loving him? Of course he will be all right. pets shoebox (Reply to this) (Parent)

	lemondropseven 2009-10-10 07:30 pm UTC (link)
	I honestly thought for a moment that you were going to give Severus a happy ending. I really should've known better. At least he's in a happy place in his mind when he dies... I guess that's some consolation. I'm just gonna go pick up what's left of my heart from the floor now. Brilliant. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	whitecotton 2009-10-10 11:58 pm UTC (link)
	Indeed, poor Severus. And poor you; hope you feel better soon. hugs (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	lemondropseven 2009-10-11 05:43 am UTC (link)
	Oh, you know me; I like fics that rip my heart out. Though now I'm worried that I'm the only 'glass half empty' person in the group as everyone else decided on the happy ending. shrug I thought about it, but I like the angst. hugs (Reply to this) (Parent)

	fancypantsdylan 2009-10-10 07:42 pm UTC (link)
	Well, that was certainly different from you, and like snow, I was very worried for Severus throughout and then reading the end I'm even more nervous and worried. Well done :) (Reply to this) (Thread)

	whitecotton 2009-10-10 11:59 pm UTC (link)
	You have a right to be worried, as even in my own mind, there is doubt whether the cottage was a dream or reality. Just take your pick, as I will mine. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	alisanne 2009-10-10 08:15 pm UTC (link)
	Meeep! hides That was brilliant and very scary. wibbles (Reply to this) (Thread)

	whitecotton 2009-10-11 12:01 am UTC (link)
	pets alisanne There there, dear. It'll be all right in the morning, you'll see. hides blood-soaked rag behind back (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	alisanne 2009-10-11 11:39 pm UTC (link)
	Oh, I meant to ask. I keep missing these challenges. Is there any way they can be posted here, too, so the rest of us can participate if we're so moved? :) (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

whitecotton
2009-10-11 11:59 pm UTC (link)

We've only had the one since we opened the comm, and that was actually a personal challenge to Fae and Calanor from snow. Apparently they were complaining of being bored, so snow gave them something else to whinge about. I just hijacked the challenge when I arrived home in the afternoon.

All other challenges will be posted, I promise you. But if you do come in late, you can always tag along behind unless there is post closing the challenge. We only do those for themed challenges, such as Angst Day, kink!night, etc.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

magialuna
2009-10-10 08:24 pm UTC (link)

*blinks confusedly*

Ok.. I read it and got one impression then I read the comments and... now I am not sure I read it right!?

I thought that Severus was home and safe and having a flashback to being tortured and that he had been saved.

But was he really being tortured and creating a safe (false) reality in his head as he died?

I vote that he is having a flashback and that he was saved... (by Harry with the help of good-friend Lucius maybee??)

(I hate when I don't *get* it. hummfph.)

Very well written dear. Chilling, truly.

Clare

(Reply to this) (Thread)

	whitecotton 2009-10-10 11:57 pm UTC (link)
	I'm afraid the reader will have to decide whether his 'wakening' was real or his sojourn with the Dark Lord never actually ended. In my mind, he is on the road to recovery; he just needs a little time and lots of Harry-love. (Reply to this) (Parent)

thesewarmstars
2009-10-10 10:25 pm UTC (link)

God, that's intense. Had me questioning reality for a moment... And I mean in general, not just the story.

For the ending, I'd decided Harry was trying to be cute, offering Severus his choice as to distractions of le petit mort variety, but I think that might be me projecting my need for a happy(ish) ending onto your story.

Either way, I've been thinking about this story all day.

(Reply to this) (Thread)

	whitecotton 2009-10-11 12:03 am UTC (link)
	Oh dear, I am sorry if it disturbed you in any way. I must make a note to the effect that this dalliance with darkness failed, and promise not to attempt it again. pets thesewarmstars (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

thesewarmstars
2009-10-11 02:42 am UTC (link)

Wha...? Failed? No, not at all! Very well executed, actually. And it did disturb me, but in this case, that's rather a good thing, I should think.

Sorry if my comment was a bit circuitous; what I meant to say was: you've done a wonderful job with this. I think you wanted the story to be ambiguous, to leave the reader with possibilities, wondering what was real and what was not, and you did that quite admirably.

I always thought you could do dark really well if you ever wanted to, and turns out I was right. Great work.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

	countesszero 2009-10-11 03:47 pm UTC (link)
	oh, lovely! I thought that severus creates a happy illusion for himself as he dies. (Reply to this)

	prayer_at_night 2009-10-11 11:28 pm UTC (link)
	jaw drops That ending is evil! But, but... it's just a vision-memory-thing again, right? Because he has to be safe in his cottage with Harry, or I'll die, because NOOOOO! ;_; (Reply to this)

	shyfoxling 2009-10-14 04:25 am UTC (link)
	ooh, creepy. (Reply to this)

	xdseme 2009-10-19 04:21 am UTC (link)
	Divine angst, thank you so much. With harry's sweet loving he should be back to normal soon... hopefully (Reply to this)