AIM LOG WHO: Camryn and Eryk WHERE: Luigi's Italian Bistro WHEN: Sunday afternoon WHAT: Ex's reunited STATUS: To Be Continued....
Eryk pulled up to the little Italian bistro and stopped on the side of the street. To his side in the passenger's seat were the usual gifts - a bouquet of flowers and a box of chocolates, but Eryk didn't know if this was the right occasion; Halmark doesn't make Sorry-I-Skipped-Town-Without-Telling-You cards, so maybe a couple of gifts would be alright. They'd atleast make up for the crappy message Eryk left on Camryn's voicemail. "Hey Cam, I'm back. We need to talk. Luigi's at two?" Click. He wouldn't have come if someone had left that message for him, why would Camryn? He owed her an explanation, but the more he thought about it, the more he didn't want to tell her. He wasn't putting himself in a very good light and wanted to lie and say that there was a death in the family or something, anything to keep her from hearing the truth. He grabbed the flowers and the chocolates and after putting a few coins in the meter, and was herded to his table.
Camryn had been out running some errands for her store when she got the message. She swallowed hard when she listened to the message but decided to go. She sent a couple text messages one to Benji one to Cadence then headed to the restaurant. With a deep breath she walked in the restaurant. There he was. The guy she'd been in love with and had left her and he looked incredible. She sent him a bit of a wave then walked over there. She wanted to go back now. What in the world was she doing here?
He smiled genuinely for a moment, though the look of resistance on her face immediately wiped the smile off of his. He didn't deserve this meeting, he didn't deserve the chance to explain himself, but Camryn, despite how hard she tries to be otherwise, was a sweet and caring girl who went out of her way a lot to give people the benefit of the doubt. He rose when he saw her walk toward him, and he reached out to hug her, but pulled his hand back and patted her arm instead. Any sign of true affection would be unacceptable and awkward and he didn't want to cause any problems for her. "Hey. It's good to see you. You look great." He smiled weakly. "These are for you. The chocolates, too." His voice trembling nervously, Eryk handed off the bouquet and the candies to his ex-girlfriend.
Camryn didn't like the pat on the arm, and she moved to hug him, but didn't hold it long. It was less awkward than she thought, but there was still a bit of tension. She saw the flowers and took them, giving him a sweet smile. "Thank you" She told him and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. "You look really good too. It's um...been a while." Pulling the chair out she took a seat across from him. She wasn't sure why exactly she was so nervous about this. It wasn't at if she said they couldn't be friends when they broke up.
He smiled hopefully, hopeful that the tension would ease with small talk and with dinner, but as the waiter came to give them their menus, Eryk was just as scared as ever. "Thanks." He nodded. His fingers pulled and twirled on the fringes of the menu's fabric border. "Yeah, it's been a while." Eryk spoke softly, shamefully. He didn't need a reminder of his cowardace and immaturity. He opened his menu but he didn't take his eyes off of Camryn. "How have you been? How's your fashion line?"
Camryn felt his eyes on her and she felt incredible. Sure she could have stood for him to look at her like that months ago, but it felt good for him to be looking at her like that now. "The line is doing absolutely amazing. And I'm...pretty good. Seeing someone new." She admitted. It wasn't a secret and she was going to be honest with him no matter what and right now there was absolutely no chance of her getting back with him
"Good. That's really good. Good for you." Eryk nodded, trying to hide the disappointment in his voice. Disappointment? He had no reason to be disappointed. He was happy to hear that her line was successful and that she was doing well. Was he disappointed because she was seeing someone else? He didn't expect her to be still hung up on him of course, but he was surprised to find that she had met someone else. He tried not to sound like he was being judgemental or opinionated at all - he'd met a girl while traveling, too, so it was more than fair that Camryn should have someone else in her life, too. "That's good." He repeated. "That's real good." He nodded.
Camryn nodded. "I'm really happy. I was...really bad when you left. I was so upset and I thought about going back to the coke but I didn't. I just...Benji and i started dating and we're...pretty serious now. It's been about three months." She tucked some hair behind her ears an sighed. "How've you been? What have you been doing?"
"Oh." He searched for more words. He knew he'd hurt Camryn, but he didn't know how much. He didn't think for a second that she'd fall back into her addiction - if he had he would've cemented the bottom of his feet to the living room floor and never left. He was proud of her, and smiled warmly, for staying strong. She was a lot braver than he ever gave her credit for. "Oh, well, good for you. I'm glad you've got someone in your life." He wanted to say something more meaningful, but he couldn't find the right words. He never formally met Benji, but never really liked him. Of course, Eryk didn't like anyone who flirted with Camryn while they were dating, so that easily wiped out the better half of straight, Georgian men. "I've been...ok." Eryk said with a small shrug. "Not much. I mean, I've been doing a lot of traveling and trying new things. I ate sushi once. And a chocolate cricket."
Camryn wrinkled her nose and nodded over to the box of chocolates nearby. "There's no cricket in there is there?" She raised her eyebrow "Because I don't think I'm up for that. Sushi, yeah, chocolate crickets..no. You don't um...have anyone else?" Camryn wondered, looking over the menu and avoiding his eyes for now.
Eryk smiled, the awkwardness suddenly releasing its grip on him. His shoulders were relaxed and he felt hopefull for the rest of the lunch. "No, that's cricket-free. Or at least, I would hope so. But plus-side: you can sue. Get your name in the papers." He stretched his legs out under the table, though he made sure to steer clear of Camryn's and avoid accidently brushing her legs. "They're not as bad as you'd think. They were fried and dipped in chocolate so they were like, little bug-shaped Nestle Crunches." Eryk laughed, opening the menu and glancing at the the options for lunch. "Anyone else? No. No, no, no, no. Well, not really. I mean, no. I'm single, still."
"I'm surprised, I mean, it only took me a day or two to snatch you up when I found out you were single before." The awkwardness was subsiding a bit. She bit her lip trying to decide on something to eat. Today she was in one of her moods wondering if she was sexy enough or too fat. "Okay so I'm gonna ask you something, and it's not because I'm still mad at you for leaving. Yeah, that hurts, it still does, but I really really want to know this, and when I asked Johnny he wasn't any help. Why...why am I not good enough?" She sighed and closed the menu. "I mean, I obviously wasn't good enough for you, and Benji told me the other day that he cheated on me with his ex, and I don't know what I'm doing wrong Eryk"
Eryk's nose was in the menu when the question arose. His eyes were staring down an impossible-to-pronounce pasta dish while he tried to process Camryn's request. Not good enough? His blue eyes met hers across the table. She looked so vulnerable and so much like a little girl. It was easy to forget how young she was - she acted so much older. "You're good enough, Camryn. You're great. You're not doing anything wrong." Impulsively, Eryk reached his hand out over the table and placed it gently over hers. "Camryn, there is nothing wrong with you. You deserve a lot more than you could ever get from Johnny or Benji or myself. You care about people and you love people and I think girls like you are few and far between. There's absolutely nothing wrong with you. Benji is what's wrong - I'm what's wrong. You're better than 'good enough', ok? You're the best thing I had in my life in a long time and," he paused, finding his hand on hers. He looked down and eased his hand back to his knee. "And I'm sorry if I ever made you feel like anything less than that."
It felt comforting to have her hand held and for him to be completely honest with her. She squeezed his hand as he slid it away and she sighed. "Thanks." She said, her eyes watering "That really means a lot. I think I'm just tired of getting hurt. I've always had to compete to be number one. Luckily Benji and I have worked things out, but I'm scared it's gonna happen again." She shrugged and moved to look back at the menu. "Anyway, we didn't meet for me to talk about him, so let's eat yes?"
His cheeks turning a bit pink, Eryk turned back to his menu. "Yes, let's." And as if listening in on their conversation, a waiter appeared immediately requesting their orders. Eryk, who hadn't actually spent all his time reading the menu, ordered the first thing he saw. After Camryn ordered, he handed his menu to the waiter and took a sip of his water. "What's new around town?" Asked Eryk. "What's the gossip?"
Camryn ordered something light and a glass of wine to go with it then busted out laughing at Eryk's need to hear the gossip. "Did you turn into a GIRL while you were gone? You have never wanted to hear the gossip from me"
He laughed into his glass. "I'm just curious." He grinned with a weak defensive tone. "I haven't seen anyone in a while and I've been thinking about you all. How's Cindy? How are Cade and Johnny? They still together? You don't have to tell me if Mr. and Mrs. Happily-Married-Couple are sneaking around with the pool boy - or girl, respectively. I just want to know what the news is and who better to ask, really?"
"Well Cadence and Johnny might as WELL be married but I don't blame them for not doing it. I mean I wouldn't want to marry him either. I've only wanted to marry one person in my life seriously and well, we both know who that was." She took a long sip of her wine then sighed. "Cindy's good. Off traveling again though. Cadence and I are still roomies. Benji and I have been dating for three months. Marrie just got back to town which I'm excited about. Um...I've been working on the line and that's pretty much all that i Know of that's going on around here"
Eryk cleared his throat and took another sip of his water. "That's good. I've been thinking about everyone a lot and I'm glad to hear everyone's doing well." He sat in silence for a moment, quietly playing with his silverware as he tried to think of a good direction to steer the conversation in. "I don't know how to say this right, but I'm sorry that I left." Obviously, what he came up with was not the best choice to keep Camryn delightful. "I'm really sorry. You didn't deserve that note - no one did. I didn't know how to say it, so I guess I just decided not to say anything at all. I can't apologize enough."
"I think what hurt me the most Eryk, was that I thought that we were close to being..us...again. No, you're right I didn't deserve that and I think it's that that finally made me realize that...we weren't meant to be together." She sighed and reached over and took his hand. "I'll always love you, and..I can forgive you for doing that even though, I think you were a complete asshole for doing it. But...I could never be with you again. We tried so hard and it never got better"
He nodded, his eyes staring at the threads in the table cloth. He couldn't say anything. No matter how many times they broke up, Eryk and Camryn were always Eryk and Camryn - the couple that survived anything: infedelity, fame, drug abuse. You name it, they conqured it. Even when there was no hope left, in the back of his mind Eryk knew that he and Camryn would grow old together. But now - this was it? The saga of Eryk and Camryn had ended, their story was told? It was hard to keep his composure, but Eryk nodded and accepted his fate. It was his wrong-doing that had sealed Camryn's realization, and he had to accept the consequences. "I'm sorry that I couldn't be the one you are meant to grow old with. I really am."
Camryn's heart broke when he said that. It was only a few months ago when she did want to grow old with him. When she knew that they were going to work it out, get engaged and eventually married in the most lavish wedding the country had ever seen. "I wanted you to be Eryk...I did..." she admitted and a tear slid down her cheek. "I had my wedding dress designed and everything. You were everything I wanted. You're smart, you're gorgeous, but...it got to the point where you were making me feel like I wasn't what you wanted and I could never be what you wanted. No girl deserves to feel that way. It was great while it lasted and you know...sometimes...sometimes I wish it would have worked. But I'm happy. I'm so happy right now with someone else. I...I love him Eryk. We're talking about moving into together"
Eryk had never heard words that hurt as much as hers. And the funny thing was that she was being nicer than she needed to be. She was letting him down gently when he deserved a swift kick in the gut. He had been so selfish, so wrong. He wasn't ready to get married, but he barely listened to Camryn when she admitted that she did. He had been a horrible boyfriend and would've made the worst husband. He never realized how much he had taken advantage of their relationship until that moment. But, Eryk was familiar with the saying 'you don't know what you've got until it's gone', and never realized how true those words were. "I'm happy for you, then. I hope he turns out to be what you're looking for and treats you right."
"Thank you." Camryn nodded and she reached up and fixed her make up. She really felt guilty. They'd been together for so long that part of her felt like she should just take him back, but she couldn't. Not now. She'd moved on. "I hope you don't think this means that I want you out of my life completely." she told him honestly.
Eryk nodded, pulling his hand back to his knees, praying that the food would come soon. He never expected he and Camryn to really end it and part of him was hoping that they'd be together soon enough, but the reality he felt seemed to crush any silver-lining that he hoped to find. "I hope not." He said quietly.