5th January 2031 • The Wizarding World's Beguiling Broadsheet of Choice • 5 κ
SUNDAY SOCIAL!
By Rita Skeeter
Magic Rock is finally open and what a celebration. From the Black castle to the intricate spell showing Voldemort and Harry Potter, there was something for everyone in the new town. Delphine Lestrange seemed to be feeling better, proving that Professor Snape is indeed still the best potion maker around. Ms. Lestrange was seen with her fiance, but later in the evening, he deserted her. Could there be problem in paradise? A little bird told us that he was seen in Wandermere with Emil Lebeau. For those who don't remember, he's our new Veela resident with the cute French accent.
Mr. Lebeau is supposedly here to help with the patrol (and they need all the help they can get there), but he seems to be spending most of his time with men. In fact he was seen with one Scorpius Malfoy for New Year's Eve. Poor Mr. Malfoy was seen pouting because he wasn't the blondest in the land.
Colwyn Griffith, son of Caerphilly Catapults' owner Alwyn Griffith, was found dead. Sources inside the Ministry tells us that Mr. Lebeau seems to have pushed everyone aside and is conducting his own investigation. Why is that? Is he the only one who cares? Is the Patrol so badly in shape? Is he power-hungry and wants to push everyone out? Whatever the reasons, the murderer is still at large.
A man who should know what is happening inside the Patrol Unit is Harry Potter, but the Head of the DMLE seems too busy talking to his now boyfriend while at Magic Rock. And did you read their coming out editorial? I hope you did, because they seemed to be upset that we reported that they were in a relationship while they were in a relationship. You read it right, ladies and gentlemen. The Head of the DMLE wants to stop the press from printing the truth when it's about him.
Another Potter is making the news, but this time it's James Potter. The young Quidditch star has been linked to United during this transfer window. Rumours has it that he's been promised the captain band as part of his contract to render the offer even more appetizing. Whether the transfer is for mid season or the end of the season remains to be seen.
In a bit of foreign news, the five countries with the highest Muggle population, China, India, the United States, Brazil and Indonesia, have passed laws requiring every wizard and witch between the ages of thirty and seventy to have at least one child. The governments are taking the additional step of subsidising larger families. The once unorthodox move is being lauded from the international community and the International Confederation of Wizards is set to study the possibility of an international treaty that would bind every country. Pink or blue then?