Johnny's story reminds me of an old Public Safety advert that used to be shown in the UK about the dangers of laying a rug on a polished wood floor (I kid you not, that's what it was about. Hey, it was the 1970's maybe there was a rash of fatalities...)
The most memorable line was "A rug? On a polished wooden floor? You might as well lay down a mantrap." and sure enough for a few second the rug WAS replaced by a massive beartrap that looked large and vicious enough to take down a rugby team in one go.
Trust me, that was real nightmare fuel for little icon_uk!