Uh, duh, I can read it. They use those super-advanced hieroglyphics in the cartoon.
You say you're purposefully starting with the writer's least legible work? Why? That's what confuses me. You're free to post whatever you want, but you could actually convince people this is worth reading if you tried. No really! We're comic fans too! Just because we weren't reading this when it came out doesn't mean we might not be interested.