Personally I'm not so sure if I would see either of these two cases as mindrape. Though Xavier is definitely making a threat that would count as such.
One example that I would consider mindrape is what Willow did in All the Way, OMWF and Tabula Rasa. Erasing Tara's mind, to make her girlfriend forget that she was angry with Willow so that she'd stay with her/sleep with her.