I'd say he was entitled to a pass for being cold after Gwen died. Mary Jane didn't come off too well in that era, either. At one point, she told Peter off for always being depressing. Yeah, having the woman you love killed right in front of you can do that to a person. And with the retcon that she always knew his identity, she looks worse because she knows it was right in front of him. Before that, I guess he always was worried because Aunt May was about to die.
Now that I think about it, he wasn't much of a nerd after the high school. The way Lee was writing him and Romita and the others in that period were drawing him, he came off as a good-looking, intelligent guy who could be somewhat likable and even charming at times.
That might have been a different fantasy of the audience. Back then, the primary audience was approximately 10-16, so Peter Parker was who the nerdy kids hoped they'd turn into when they went to college. Along with the hot girlfriend, of course.