You're forgetting that Peter could be cold as hell at times, especially to Mary Jane, and especially in the wake of Gwen's death. I get what you're saying, but it's a tricky balance, because while there were moments where you could maybe buy off on the hot girl seeing the nerdy boy's inner charm, there were also moments when they were pretty clearly pandering to the male audience's fantasies about having model-perfect women fall over them, no matter how they behaved.