'HO-nee, I'm HOME! You haven't been stealing diamonds again, have you? 'Cause I'd have to take you to jail.'
'Supey darling, whatEVER do you take me for? Of course I haven't been stealing diamonds. *under her breath* I AM stealing diamonds - right now. Via remote control. There's a difference.'
*pretends not to hear that* 'Now, are you SURE there aren't any nasty little illegal surprises awaiting me today? Pearls in the pantry? Rubies in the sock drawer? Diamonds in the freezer?'
'Oh, Supey, you great big hunk of man, you wound me. You surely don't think li'l ol' me would EVER do something like that?'
'You did the last time I came home.'
'Well, I don't now. Trust me, the pantry and sock drawer are clean.'
'And the freezer?'
'Oh, absoLUTELY, cutey-pie. There is only one kind of ice in that icebox. *under her breath* And that's diamonds.'
*wipes forehead* 'Mother warned me there'd be days like this. Of course, not like this SPECIFICALLY...'