thanekos (thanekos) wrote in scans_daily, @ 2009-06-29 19:28:00 |
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Current music: | http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=APgkTjzvZWc |
Entry tags: | publisher: marvel comics, title: x-men noir |
Noir Fiction, or: STICK TO THE ROBOTS, TRASK
in a non-powered what if where charles xavier runs a crime school for adolescent sociopaths and eric magnus runs organized crime out of the nypd, what's bolivar trask up to?
writing stories about sentinels that protect humanity from mutants.
yeah.
And here's one of Trask's stories, in excerpts because despite being fiction-in-fiction, it's cited as a backup and I don't care to work out the distinction. ladies and gents, referentially-laden sci-fi from the mind of a genetics professor, starting with the first chapter... DAYS OF FUTURE PAST!'
(count-wise, the thing's 12 pages total, and these are 4. work out 4/12 for yourself.)
or the first page from it.
hee. Nimrod. anyhow, the muties kidnap Nimrod's would-be mate, Rachel, so he must saves her life.
also, if you're not tired of Doctor Trask's " perfect genetics " writing style... you will be.
next chapter: Mutant Massacre!
oh. apocalypse.... instead, it's the mad Egyptian En Sabah Nur, and his Phoenix Bomb-carrying autogyros.... why does that seem like something Matt Fraction would write?
clever usage of crimson bands of cyttorak, though.
so, anyhow, he makes it to the muties, but it turns out Rachel's a willing prisoner of sorts of...
CALLISTO, QUEEN OF THE MUTIES!
next chapter: Age of Apocalypse? Gee, Davey, do you sense a pattern here?
worshipping unexploded bombs? whoever heard of such a nonsensical thing, fallout and planet of the apes?
so then it turns out that the Sentinels have shown up to kill the muties, in...
E is for Extinction! finally, a non-referential chapter tit... *checks Wikipedia*... well.
no. Rachel.
also, this is the exact point when " perfect-such-and-such " hits narm levels.
shit happens, and everyone dies- Rachel's offed here, Bastion's killed by way of Nimrodtrocution, and everyone else... Phoenix go boom.
but hey, now Nimrod and Callisto will be making it with each other, according to the ending.
and really, isn't that all that counts?
bonus: a scientist bitching about hank pym.
i'm sure there's an ai development project or two that shares your pain, man.
oh, and as for the story itself, X-Men Noir? everyone dies, and then Cyclops and that dude who fought the Armless Tiger Man in that one story hitch a ride to Madripoor with a neko-te wielding bootlegger named Logan.
yeah.