Golden Age Wonder Woman Crack
Today's bit of Wonder Woman insanity is from Wonder Woman #5, published in summer of 1943, and it's cracktastic even by GA WW standards.
BTW, this story was 24 pages.
Usually I don't bother with the front page, but I read the blurb up at the top and couldn't resist sharing it.
So Greco-Roman gods on other planets follow our custom of clothing prisoners in black and white stripes. (Which I don't think any Earth prison even does these days, unless maybe it's run by Tim Burton.) It's like The Claiming of Sleeping Beauty for little kids.
Freed, Mars and Lord Conquest go to earth to capture Wonder Woman.
This reminds me of an episode of Superfriends I watched on a whim when I was about 14 that cracked me up. Some uniformed guy in a roomful of computers declared, "Oh, no! Gigantico and Spectro are cutting the moon in half!" So the whole WW gang is taken prisoner, except of course for Wondy herself.
Our heroine goes to Paradise Island, where her mother uses the Magic Sphere to help her figure out where the spaceship came from.
Never mind the lack of air pressure. Not a problem.
She hasn't even been on the moon for a full minute and already she's tied up. In the interest of getting to see the goddess Diana without delay, Wonder Woman allows herself to be taken prisoner. Turns out the goddess has been drugged by Mars with poppy juice in her nectar.
Notice how the "captain" in the third panel is dressed.
And apparently wine will help you recover from the effects of opium. Actually, if Marston believed that, it kind of explains a lot about this series.
Wonder Woman beats up Mars and frees the goddess. Mars is imprisoned and the story gets back to confusing children about astronomy:
And apparently no one's going to bother with unthroning Deception back on Mars.