InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Beware the pout of doom."

Doop (xdoop) wrote in scans_daily,
@ 2009-04-12 21:14:00

Entry tags:

theme: bears

What happens when you kick a bear in the balls.

Anyone remember this post? This is the result.

(Post a new comment)

	ashez2ashes 2009-04-12 08:27 pm UTC (link)
	Well that was epically stupid. As long as you back away slowly, most of the time the bear will too (unless its sick or starving to death). Same thing with the snake... City folk, sheesh. (Reply to this)

	unknownscribler 2009-04-12 08:34 pm UTC (link)
	To be fair, Cole is having a really really bad day at this point. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	(Anonymous) 2009-04-12 08:54 pm UTC (link)
	So he decided suicide would be the best option? (Reply to this) (Parent)

	jasper_stars 2009-04-12 09:04 pm UTC (link)
	Woulda been awesome if that had actually worked.... ON EVERYTHING. When in doubt: Step 1: Shout "FUCK YOU" to enemy Step 2: Kick in balls (Reply to this)

	scottyquick 2009-04-12 09:21 pm UTC (link)
	Does anyone else here want the bear to eat Cole? (Reply to this) (Thread)

	tanetris 2009-04-12 09:26 pm UTC (link)
	Motto. It's what we call a lesson: Don't kick bears. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	neuhallidae 2009-04-12 09:50 pm UTC (link)
	::hand raised:: (Reply to this) (Parent)

	mullon 2009-04-12 11:57 pm UTC (link)
	Yep. If he was just by himself, maybe not. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	20thcenturyvole 2009-04-13 02:19 am UTC (link)
	I think Cole's made himself fair game, don't you? (Reply to this) (Parent)

	janegray 2009-04-13 06:30 am UTC (link)
	Motto. Shooting an animal in self-defense? Perfectly fair. Shooting an animal because it attacked you after you attacked him in the first place? I'm totally rooting for the bear. Unfortunately it is probably going to die, after taking three bullets :( (Reply to this) (Parent)

	filbypott 2009-04-12 09:22 pm UTC (link)
	...and then Stephen Colbert woke up in a cold sweat. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	parsimonia 2009-04-13 12:51 am UTC (link)
	Psh, Colbert would kick that bear's ass. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	parsimonia 2009-04-13 12:53 am UTC (link)
	Then again, this comic demonstrates that kicking bears isn't such a good idea. (Reply to this) (Parent)

kitty_tc_69
2009-04-12 09:32 pm UTC (link)

Unfortunately, that wouldn't work. Bears are much, much faster than people give them credit for. Humans simply cannot outrun them. Even if they'd left the injured one behind and ran full tilt, the bear would easily run them down if it wanted to.

I believe the one poster is right about backing down slowly. Most animals, even predatory ones, don't expend the energy to attack or kill anything they don't intend to eat or that they don't feel is a direct threat. Typial animal behavior when confronting an enemy is to warn. Things like a dog's growl, a cat's hiss, a snake's rattle and a bear's behavior of rising to it's hind legs are all warning behaviors, their way of saying "hey I could hurt you leave me alone". If they planned to kill and eat you, they'd have attacked already. Since they're warning you instead, take their advice and leave them alone!

(Reply to this) (Thread)

	broblawsky 2009-04-12 10:01 pm UTC (link)
	Bears are slightly faster than humans, and humans have superior endurance. I think a very athletic human being could probably outrun a bear, with a bit of a head start. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	janegray 2009-04-13 06:31 am UTC (link)
	But in this case, they don't have a head start, don't look particularly athletic, and they are carrying an injured heavy guy. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	kitty_tc_69 2009-04-13 08:07 am UTC (link)
	Slightly faster my ass. According to wikipedia, brown bears (aka, your average grizzly) have been clocked at speeds of over 40 miles per hour. And can sustain those kind of running speeds for distances of more than a mile. That's horse territory, and in fact slower wild horses are not an uncommon part of a bear's diet. Humans don't outrun bears. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	sir_razorback 2009-04-13 01:52 pm UTC (link)
	Fortunately, you just need to be not the slowest one running from the bear. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	geoffsebesta 2009-04-13 09:55 pm UTC (link)
	pics or it didn't happen! (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	tavella 2009-04-14 03:26 am UTC (link)
	Here's a grizzly chasing and killing a sheep. With ease. They are fast bastards, faster than you. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	geoffsebesta 2009-04-14 03:29 pm UTC (link)
	That little brown dot killed that little white dot! (Reply to this) (Parent)

filbypott
2009-04-12 11:06 pm UTC (link)

Two campers are walking through the forest when they suddenly encounter a grizzly bear.

The bear rears up on his hind legs and lets out a terrifying roar.

Both campers are frozen in their tracks.

The first camper whispers, "I'm sure glad I wore my running shoes today."

"It doesn't matter what kind of shoes you're wearing, you're not gonna outrun that bear," replies the second.

"I don't have to outrun the bear, I just have to outrun you!"

(Reply to this) (Parent)

	They were in a frickin group politicalzombie 2009-04-13 10:45 am UTC (link)
	They should have all huddled close, linked arms, and roar collectively. (Reply to this) (Parent)

sistermagpie
2009-04-13 10:47 am UTC (link)

I saw a whole video on bear attacks once, strangely enough. The wisdom was that with black bears waving your arms was supposed to encourage it to go away. With a grizzly bear the advice was to play dead as if your life depended on it. But there was still the understanding that this was in a situation where a confrontation was inevitable--such as coming upon a mother with cubs. Climbing trees was also a good idea rather than trying to outrun flat out. If you had a chance to just back away and have the bear do that too, obviously that's the best scenario.

Kicking the bear in the nuts never came up!

(Reply to this) (Parent)

	tavella 2009-04-13 05:38 pm UTC (link)
	Bears are incredibly fast sprinters. All that bulk? It's muscle, and when it's applied they are horrifyingly fast. If you poke around youtube you can find a few videos of bears going after deer or the like -- and they outrun them on short distances. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	zegim 2009-04-12 09:58 pm UTC (link)
	Pardon my ignorance. Where is this from? (Reply to this) (Thread)

	mxlm.myopenid.com 2009-04-13 12:56 am UTC (link)
	The Luna Brothers' Girls. Don't recall which volume/issue. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	volksjager 2009-04-13 07:58 am UTC (link)
	Here's a post I made about a woman who tried to make friends with a polar bear at the Belin Zoo on friday. http://volksjager.livejournal.com/329605.html (Reply to this) (Thread)

	gwalla.livejournal.com 2009-04-13 12:48 pm UTC (link)
	What the fuck would possess somebody to do something that idiotic? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	volksjager 2009-04-13 06:37 pm UTC (link)
	I would say your looking at an intersection of "dim Bulb" meets "nutjob". (Reply to this) (Parent)

	volksjager 2009-04-13 06:37 pm UTC (link)
	I would say your looking at an intersection of "dim Bulb" meets "nutjob". (Reply to this) (Parent)

	jlroberson 2009-04-14 02:44 am UTC (link)
	Remorseless fucking killers. All he did was kick him in the balls. That's the least they deserve. He should have thought himself lucky. (Reply to this)