Like you say, it is down to whatever helps someone cope. You have to bear in mind that if someone's carried their baby to term they've got to know that child even before birth. There's a connection there. And if your child is born perfect in every way except life, iwanting to remember what they looked like doesn't seem so disturbing. That's a child that a mother's had nine months of connection with, not a being that's suddenly sprung into existence. But from an outside point of view, that's tough to comprehend and empathize with. Understandably so.