caroline forbes + stefan salvatore
Mention of death | complete
If Elena hadn’t just vanished Caroline wasn’t sure she would have been able to be as patient as she was with Stefan and Damon catching up first, it was stupid, it was really stupid. It had been years. The twins were almost teenagers, and things were just, different. She sort of liked Barry but who knew what that was or wasn't.
She was pacing waiting to meet with Stefan. She'd told him she'd wait until he was ready and he could find her in the park where she found a place to sit and write, it wasn't exactly perfect weather for it, but she didn't care. Caroline felt like she needed to be outside, inside meant seeing more people, and she really wasn't sure she was ready to see more people right now, she wasn't sure how she would handle it.
Hearing footsteps she could tell it was Stefan, she could tell he was the one coming towards her, his walk sounded the same, everything about him was how she remembered it, squeezing her eyes shut for a moment she finally turned her head to look at him, it was stupid and annoying but tears started to stream down her face.
Things seemed to have changed a lot since Stefan had last been in Atlantis and it sounded like things were going to change a lot at home as well. After Damon’s revelations, it now made sense why everyone had been acting so strangely when he ’d arrived. He was still trying to process everything as he made his way to the park to meet Caroline. He’d wanted to go to her as soon as he’d arrived but he’d felt obligated to go straight to see Damon, especially considering that he’d recently lost Elena. Part of him was glad he had - it had obviously meant a lot to Damon - but part of him wished that Caroline had been the one to break the news to him. Damon wasn’t known for his tact, and he hadn’t broken any stereotypes today.
Caroline was sat on a bench up ahead. Stefan felt the familiar butterflies in his stomach when he saw her. However, he needed to remember that everything was different here. He didn’t even know what point in their time together that Caroline came from. He couldn’t assume anything.
Shoving his hands in his pockets, he closed the distance between them and sat down on the bench beside her. He could see the tears running down her cheeks and it made his heartache. Despite everything that might be different in this place, he couldn’t just watch her crying like that and not try to make it better so, his brow knitted in a deep frown, he reached out and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close to him and resting his chin on her blonde head.
The second she felt his touch she crumbled into him. She felt stupid. She felt pathetic as she wrapped her arms around him tightly. There was a huge part of her that was still struggling to believe that he was here, that he was truly here, he was alive. He was... He was everything he had been and strangely more at the same time.
Caroline really didn't know how long it had been, but she forced herself to get it together and slowly pulled away from him keeping her hands on his sides though, she wasn't ready to lose contact yet.
"This isn't exactly how I pictured seeing you again," Caroline laughed out awkwardly.
Stefan held her tightly while she cried. Patience was the least he could offer her. When she finally lifted her head to look at him, he looked down readily into her red-rimmed, blue eyes and lifted a hand to brush back her hair from where it had stuck to the tear tracks on her face.
“I know,” he acknowledged gently, non-verbally excusing whatever reaction she needed to have to his presence here. If she needed to cry, yell at him, hug him for days or even just ignore him, he would understand, or try to at least.
“How long has it been?” he asked. “Since we last saw each other?” Damon had given him the basics, but he knew that Caroline’s perception of everything that had passed would be entirely her own.
Taking a shaky breath in, Caroline wasn't completely sure how to answer that or what to tell him. She had things she needed to know first.
"How much did Damon tell you?" Caroline asked searching his eyes for any hints if Damon told him everything or held anything back.
Stefan sighed and looked down. The conversation with Damon had been a difficult one, for both of them. They had never been the best at opening up to each other but seeing Damon’s genuine pain over everything that had happened (was going to happen?) had been difficult to deal with.
“I think I got the whole story,” he said quietly, his eyebrows knitted close together. He looked back up at her, trying to convey even a fraction of the complex mix of emotions he was feeling: guilt, sadness, fear, disappointment, resignation. “I’m so sorry I left you.”
Moving her hands from his sides, she took his left hand holding it in both of hers. She could see the hurricane of emotions in his expression, and she wasn't even sure what to say.
"It's been years," Caroline tried to smile but faltered. "The twins are twelve. They're not here, thank god, I don't know what I'd do if they were here with Kai being here." She knew she shouldn't go on about that, but she didn't know how to handle any of this.
"It's, been a long time since you-" she stopped looking down at their hands. "I never thought I'd see you again, even here, even with people coming from different points in time..." She stopped looking up into his eyes again.
It was just as Stefan had feared. He had wondered, from her reaction, whether it had been a long time for her, but he hadn’t thought it would be that long. He could barely imagine the little girls he had known as twelve-year-old, almost teenagers. Perhaps he had been scared to think about what it would mean for them if it had been that long. Of course, outwardly Caroline had barely changed - perhaps her hair was a little different, and she had new clothes - and she looked just like he remember her, just like she had when he’d last seen her on Christmas Eve. Inside, however… well, even a few years could make a massive difference to a person on the inside, especially when they’d had to deal with what Caroline had.
It was tempting to follow Caroline’s lead and look down at their hands rather than facing her, but he forced himself to keep his eyes steady so that his gaze would be there as soon as she was ready to re-engage. When she did, however, it was hard to know what to say.
“It’s probably a lot to take in,” was the best he could manage. He wanted to say more, to ask her how her life had been, what she’d done with the years and where they stood now that he was here, but he didn’t know where to start. This wasn’t the kind of situation he’d ever imagined having to deal with. He hoped Caroline would have more of an idea about how to handle it than he had.
With an offhanded short laugh, she nodded. It was so much to take in, and she really had no idea where to go from here. She'd dealt with all the stages of grief, hell she'd at one point during it made a chart to help herself cope with Stefan's death.
"It's a lot more for you to take in, you just found out what your future holds, and you find out your wife is in her mid-thirties, come on, mid-thirties, no one wishes for mid-thirties." With a sad smile, she felt a pang in her heart at thinking about being his wife. "I thought we'd have a lot more time together." She whispered. "It wasn't supposed to be days. It was supposed to be forever." She'd known when he'd become human that it wouldn't be the same, but she still thought they'd have a lot more time together.
Stefan couldn’t help the fond smile that spread across his face when Caroline said about being in her mid-thirties.
“Caroline, I’m a one hundred and seventy-year old vampire who is going to go on to marry you as a human, fully expecting to have to grow old whilst watching you stay young and beautiful forever. At this point, do you really think I care for a second that you’re in your mid-thirties?”
However, he felt his smile slide away as she went on. He tightened his grip on her hand.
“We have time now,” he told her, trying to sound reassuring. “If that’s what you want,” he added. He couldn’t ignore the fact that time had passed for her. She had been through her grieving process and laid his memory to rest. Whatever happened now had to be on her terms. He knew that he had no choice but to take her lead on this matter. It was only fair. In the end, she was the one that would be left behind eventually.
"Maybe!" She said although she wasn't really serious about it. Caroline had to stop herself from thinking about the fact that if he'd lived he'd grow up and he'd actually physically be in his thirties one day while she still stayed looking like she was 17, Caroline decided not to think about that.
Searching his eyes she really wasn't sure what to do, this was Stefan, the love of her life, the man she thought she'd have forever with. And yet, in some ways, she had moved on, but now he was here, and she was so confused. The last thing Caroline wanted to do was hurt anyone but she had to follow her heart.
"Stefan," she smiled softly. "You might not know it yet, but I did marry you, and I still love you." That wasn't really an answer of what she wanted though. "I want us back, but I did sort of start seeing someone, and I’m going to have to talk to him before,” she indicated between herself and Stefan, “can really happen, he deserves that.”
Stefan could feel his heart dropping even before Caroline told him about the other man. Of course, she had started seeing someone. He couldn’t expect her to hold out for him forever. She’d had no guarantee that he was going to show up here and, anyway, she’d done her grieving for him when he’d died. It was a process, and the end of that process was acceptance. He wanted that for her as, without acceptance, she couldn’t have gone on to live the life he wanted for her. He gave her a small, sad smile.
“It’s okay,” he told her. “If you’ve moved on…” He trailed off. What could he say? He wanted to be with her, now more than ever, if this was the only time they were going to get, and he couldn’t pretend that he didn’t, but he also understood that this situation was far from what either of them had ever expected or planned for. “Whatever you decide, I’ll understand.”
It felt like all he was hearing was the bad, the painful part, the hey, she moved on part. Caroline did move on in some ways but seeing him in front of her, the way he made her feel, no one else could do that.
"Stefan..." She said sighing. "I said I have to talk to him, and nothing has really happened, and besides, it's really complicated." That was somewhat of an understatement, Barry had just found out he was married back home, and his wife was as far as they knew still alive, it was complicated and confusing.
"I had to move on, but that doesn't mean," she didn't know how to handle this or what to say. "That I don't still love you, I never stopped loving you, that's not something that just goes away because someone dies."
It really was complicated. Still, Stefan’s heart lifted when she said she still loved him. That was what mattered, wasn’t it?
“I love you,” he said, locking eye contact with her. “Do whatever you need to do. I’ll be here.” Last time he’d been in Atlantis, he’d been in a hurry to get home, to ride out his year working for Cade and to get back to Caroline, like he’d promised. This time, however, his whole life was here. He had nothing to gain by leaving and everything to gain by staying. If it took her some time to work through things, so be it. He could be patient when he needed to be.
Her breath caught when he said those words and her eyes got wide with hope.
"You're going to stay?" She asked hopefully. Caroline knew when things with intake went haywire that didn't always mean someone would stay. She knew the possibility that he might be here and be gone the next day.
Stefan could see the hope in her eyes but he also recognised something like reservation, like she didn’t want to let herself believe it just yet. He supposed he couldn’t be certain that whatever malfunctioning technology that had brought him here wouldn’t just send him home again straight away, without giving him any choice in the matter.
“If I possibly can,” he clarified, earnestly.
There was no thought she threw her arms around him pulling him tightly into a hug. Caroline knew there would be complications with him staying, but she'd dreamt so many times to have him back in her life that she was overwhelmed with the possibility.
"That's what I like to hear," she whispered into his ear as she pulled back to look at his face.
The feel of her arms around him was so blissfully familiar and welcome. He let himself relax against her, slipping his own arms around her waist and resting his cheek against her silky, blonde hair. When she pulled back to look at him, he did the thing which felt most natural: he leaned in and pressed his lips to hers, gently, tenderly. If their past relationship was any kind of indication, nothing would run smoothly for them, and she still needed to have that conversation with the guy she’d started seeing, but at least they were well rehearsed at somehow finding their way through things, together. He just had to keep having faith in them.