Tenel Ka Djo (hapanqueen) wrote in saveatlantisic, @ 2017-11-09 11:34:00 |
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Entry tags: | jacen solo, tenel ka djo |
Who: Jacen Solo & Tenel Ka Djo
When: Early October [backdated to the 7 Deadly Sins plot]
Where: Their apartment
What: Jacen's got some pride issues.
Rating: Low
Status: COMPLETE.
This city was confusing. Far from the overly peaceful man of earlier in the month Jacen had soonafter changed again. He believed he had all the answers. He believed there was no one but he who could protect everyone. There was a darkness. To a degree Tenel Ka did not know what to do with. He had worked out at least five ways to win the war here and double that to win back home. She couldn’t argue that he had ideas that could work. He was an incredible tactician. He was brave and wise all at once and she loved him for it. She trusted him more than anyone or anything and whatever he did, she would stand by him. Though she did wonder if this wasn’t quite him. Oh he was still very much Jacen. He was affectionate to her, he remained a perfect father to Allana. But there was a sense of something inside him that likely was the fault of whatever it was that kept them on their toes in this city. She had put Allana down for the night and returned to their living room finding him working on something or other. She would need to distract him. Keep his focus on her. “Jacen...talk to me. About something other than all of this. This will keep.” she asked. There was a look on his face, it had been there all day. He was aware of Tenel Ka in the room, how could he not be? She was beautiful and fierce -- his warrior love -- and he had earned her heart in the end. Of course he was going to, and he should never have doubted that, but he still wanted to be certain to appreciate her completely, and right now she was asking for his attention and he wanted to give it to her, even though the plans in front of him did seem to call. Jacen Solo had gotten them through a galactic invasion - managed to save the galaxy in the end, hadn't he? He had learned so much - so many things about the Force. And all of those things had given him wisdom and knowledge enough that he should have long ago attacked what they were doing in this place and in this moment with that knowledge so that they could pull it to a satisfying conclusion. But he had been sitting for a long while and there was a crick in his spine as he moved, so he stood, his gaze turning fully to the woman he loved so very much. "Are you trying to distract me?" he mused, a smile on his face and he stretched his legs and reached his hand out to her to pull her in. "If so, it might be working - for now." Tenel Ka smiled as she let herself be pulled into the arms of the man she loved. He had still stepped away from his thoughts for her. He still loved her even with...whatever this was that had affected him, he still loved her. And that was enough. “I am not trying to distract you Jacen. I am doing quite an admirable job at distracting you.” she said amused. He’d just been sitting there, so focused for so long, drawn to this obsession with fixing everything. Believing he knew best, better than anyone. And part of her agreed, Part of her knew that he probably did know everything. But he had never acted like it before. “Come and sit with me my love.” "Try not?" He mused the old adage, an eyebrow raised as he allowed himself to be pulled through to her for a moment. But there were things that needed to be considered. They were working on something larger here, and far from the Jacen of a month ago that had wanted to consider peace as the only way to something greater, right now Jacen was working on the puzzle of what would be required to make everything here right. What would he need to do to facilitate this? For one thing, being a leader of a team felt essential - and it was somewhat unfathomable to him that this had not already happened. His arm slid around Tenel Ka's waist, but he pulled a tablet with some information on it towards them. "I should be leading my own team by now. There's no reason why I should be overlooked for this. Winchester is good, but he doesn't have the experience I have leading teams." She took what she could get, he’d taken the tablet anyway but his hand was around her waist at least. It meant that he hadn’t put everything aside for this. And she couldn’t disagree. He was an incredible tactician. He knew things about the Force she couldn’t fathom and she knew he probably could stop this war if he put his mind to it. But she wouldn’t let him make it all he was. He had her and he had a daughter, he had his twin sister. That was more important. “Yes, you should be.” she said simply. There was no doubt in her mind that Jacen deserved to lead. He was capable. Probably more than most people here. She would always think that he deserved more. And she truly believed he could do great things. “It’s worth thinking about. But think about it later. Can’t you put that away for just a little while? Jacen put it on his knee, a spike of irritation at being asked to turn his attention to more frivolous things than an end to the madness that they were all experiencing. But, he knew well that at home whatever things they might need to deal with, they would not be able to have this. Here he was able to fully have Tenle Ka in his life - as it should be. He swallowed the irritation, and lifted a hand up to her cheek. "You're very demanding tonight," he turned his full attention to her. "What is it?" “I want you. Just this, just us. I want to talk about us.” she said simply as he turned fully to her finally. She knew he wasn’t happy to do that. To think about them right now, but if she could keep his mind from obsessing too much over this then it would be better for him. “This is the only place we can have a life. A life as a family. We do not have to worry about Hapes or the Order or a galaxy teetering on chaos. We can help them here, and yes you will play a part in that. You’re the most brilliant tactician I have ever known. I trust that what you decide will help them but...what can you do about it tonight that cannot wait until tomorrow.” Jacen raised an eyebrow, looking over at her. They had certainly talked about them some over the past few weeks, and everything Tenel Ka said was true, but this evening he had really planned to set aside for planning how to get into a position of more leadership within Atlantis - to be in a better place to move things forward, but she was here in front of him, and she really was beautiful. For a moment, he wavered, pulling a hand up to her cheek and running his fingers gently down it. "I know that, Tenel Ka. And I'm glad that we are here, and that we can have that, but it doesn't mean that I can ignore my responsibilities. And I still want us to have a safe place to live with Allana. She is growing up here, and she's getting larger every day, more a part of this world - it must be a safe one for her." She smiled gently as he ran his hand along her cheek. She loved when he was affectionate like this. He was often, even without whatever this was, lost in his own thoughts. She didn’t know all of what had happened when he had been gone and he had promised her since they’d been here that he would tell what he could. And he had done. But she knew there was so much more. “I am not for a moment suggesting you ignore anything. I am simply saying wait. There is nothing you can do tonight. You know your worth. I know your worth and the leadership here do too. If not, then make them understand. I know you will make the world safe for Allana. If we are to remain here you will do all it takes to give her that. But for now my love, for now you can relax.” Perhaps she was right, and Jacen did give a lot of weight to Tenel Ka's opinions, typically, but right now it was difficult to focus on that. What she was saying would be nice, but it wasn't something he could entirely relax into and she ought to understand that. He pulled back a bit. "Tenel Ka, we have been here for how many months?" He asked her. "How many and I am still here and we are still leaving on missions every so often. I have clearly spent too much time relaxing and have allowed myself to lose focus - but no longer. This changes today." He wanted her to understand that in the long run it would be a better world for all of them. "I have allowed myself to be complacent." With a sigh she let him go, sitting back a little. She truly believed this was something happening to him again. Some Atlantis trick but he also wasn’t wrong about how much he could help this place if given the chance to. He should have his own team and that would only be the start. Her Jacen could play a big part in saving them all. “Alright. Say you have relaxed, lost focus. Let me help you. Tell me what you need me to do and I will see it done. We work best as a team do we not? Tell me your ideas and we will make this happen.” She took his hand in hers, eyes meeting his utterly serious. “Talk to me Jacen. Tell me what you are thinking?” Jacen looked up and met her gaze and the corner of his lips turned up in a small smile, albeit not one that lasted for very long as he turned serious again. What he needed to work out was something that would require him working into a place where he could truly influence what was happening in Atlantis. Right now he was the second on the team. Winchester wasn't the worst as a leader and Jacen didn't dislike him, and really it went beyond Team 2. There were the Field Commanders, but even beyond that there were people from other worlds that were on the Senior Staff. "The question I currently have is where am I in the best place to offer my expertise? Should I look towards the Field commanders, or should I look closer to Admiral Posiedon? In some ways, a Field Commander might well be able to shape the practical direction of things more easily." She wasn’t sure she liked the way he was phrasing that. Her Jacen would never hurt anyone to get where he wanted to be but there was something at the back of her mind that made her think this wasn’t entirely her Jacen. She needed to placate him until it wore off. If it didn’t do that soon then she would have to rethink the situation. “Where do you think is best? The Admiral will have people that he listens to. You need to convince them that you can offer insight. You need to show them what you can do. You have made an impression on these missions, the teams you have been on have liked and trusted you. You will be given every chance to show them what you can do. So, do so. Do that. Show them the Jacen Solo that saved us from the Vong, show them the Jacen that I know and that I love.” Shape the direction of things… “But...how do you mean shape things Jacen, how would you shape the direction of things?” There was something in the way she asked the question that gave him pause. Perhaps it was the wrong way to phrase it, and yet it seemed the most practical aspect of what he was attempting to do. If he could end this, and he was certain that he could, then it would be on him to shape the responses and to bring it to that closure. He could see things beyond what the others here could, it wasn't something he had asked for, but it was something he had been given. As such, he had a responsibility to use it for the good of everyone around him. "I have the Force," he looked seriously at Tenel Ka, his eyes watching her to try to sense her thought on all of this. "But beyond that I have the ability to see what most of them cannot. It is less me shaping things myself, than it is my awareness of how things are, and my guidance to the Admiral, the Field Commanders, all of them, on how it could be completed. Do not think of it as a manipulation, but as a… guide. I can see things they can't." It worried her. That he believed he knew how to end all this. And yes, he’d said guide not manipulation but he’d said shaped first. It wasn’t exactly a comforting word. Still, she would hope that this attitude would fade. “Jacen...not long ago you believed that the only way to end this was peace. Because the ...magic of this place made you believe that. Can you be certain that this...certainty is not coming from a similar place.” She kept his gaze, that intense gaze she so loved. And yet she sensed something...else. “They will appreciate your help. But perhaps don’t describe it as shaping. Explain it as you have to me. But tonight Jacen, could you please just be the man I love. Just sit with me. The world will still be here tomorrow.” Jacen shook his head dismissively. It wasn't that he intended to be rude, but he also knew that Tenel Ka was not seeing the full and complete picture here. That was all right, she didn't need to see it, so long as he had her support and she had given him that. Perhaps even reminded him that other people might not take well to the language he was using. He would need to be more diplomatic - and that was something he could do. He glanced at the tablet for a moment, but he supposed she was right that things would still be tomorrow. And while he had a decent plan in his mind, he could put none of it into place until the morning next when he would perhaps see about his chances of getting in to see the Admiral. He put the tablet down on the table and turned his attention to her. She was always there for him and she always had been. He hoped that she always would be. "Very well. I doubt, after all, that the Admiral will wish to speak with me tonight." He leaned forward, gaze intense. "What are you hoping for tonight?" She was mostly pleased that she’d distracted him from all of this. That she could still do that. She would always stand by him. Always trust that he knew what was best but this, it wasn’t Jacen. Not completely. But whatever had a hold on him it could not stop their love. “I am hoping simply for you. Allana is asleep, is likely to stay as such for the night...so…” She smiled softly as he put the tablet down, finally giving her all of his attention. She leaned in to kiss him softly reaching for his hand. She hoped this issue would be solved by the morning but in the meantime she believed it quite obvious what it was she wanted. Jacen hummed lightly, taking the offered kiss and pulling her in closer. There were things he knew he should be focused on, but when Tenel Ka was in front of him like this, it was easy to find himself falling into the moment. And perhaps he should have worried more about it, but it seemed probable at this point that he was always intended to have Tenel Ka in his life, and this was just one further example of this. He pulled back, long enough to raise to his feet and to offer her a hand. "Then we are wasting time I think." |