Julia knew, logically, that she should have sought cover, but gods and goddesses were notoriously hard to kill and she also wanted to make sure everyone else had gotten to safety, too. That's what she had been doing when the lightning started. Instinct had sent her running for shelter, but she wasn't fast enough. Julia screamed as the bolt hit her. The pain that filled her entire body was jolting and excruciating. She couldn't move and a white light surrounded her body, which started smoking a moment later. It was only an instant later before her heart stopped and her body fell to the ground.
And then she woke up. The room was pure white and the pain was completely gone. She could feel the puzzle piece digging into her palm, but she hardly had the time to register that or the fact that she didn't have so much as a scratch or a burn before she felt herself being beamed somewhere else. The next thing she knew, she was in a more familiar setting - the medical floor on the base.
“What the fuck?”
A doctor was at her side shortly, explaining that it seemed like the people who died in the arena hadn't really died - that they'd been brought back to Atlantis somehow. A few questions were asked while the doctor checked her over to confirm she was okay and then she was instructed to rest. “You seem to be fine, but we want to keep your for a few hours to be safe,” the doctor told her and she nodded. In all honesty, she was still pretty freaked out by the experience. As the doctor left the room, she curled up on the bed and just lay there trying to process everything that had just happened.
Remus had watched the entire incident happen, and it didn’t quite hit him until he stepped into Julia’s room that she really was okay. Physically, at least. Emotionally, he imagined that was another story
“Julia?” he said quietly as he approached the bed. “It’s me.”
Not entirely convinced this was real himself, Julia reached out to touch his hand or anything else she could grasp to reassure herself he was solid and real. “Remus?” she asked tentatively. The hope in her eyes turned to relief as her fingers closed around his hand in a grip that was possibly a little desperate. “I was half afraid this was all in my head,” she admitted, tugging on his hand to pull him closer.
The smile that Remus offered was tight at the corners, but only because he was still so worried about her, about Sirius and about Eliot. The relief he felt at seeing her alive, though, was palpable, and he squeezed her hand back in reassurance. “It’s very, very real, I assure you,” he told her, taking a seat on the bed beside her. “How are you feeling?”
“Physically, I’m fine.” Julia was still very worried about both Sirius and Eliot and about the others in the arena, too. The whole feeling of having died was still with her and it was pretty damn weird, too. She hadn’t expected to wake up at all, let alone with none of the physical signs of what she’d just been through.
That wasn’t the only thing he’d been asking about, Remus thought, but he was sure she knew that, too. Being forthcoming about his emotions didn’t come naturally to him, so he didn’t expect it to come naturally to other people, too. If she needed time, he’d give that to her.
But he was worried. The things they’d gone through - the things Sirius and Eliot were still going through - were going to weigh on them, even if it didn’t leave physical marks. “We’ve been trying to track all of you,” he told her, “trying to figure out where they took you. Especially once someone came back and we knew you were all right … but we just can’t seem to get a lock on it.” The magic of Atlantis was the most frustrating thing he’d ever encountered, particularly when it came to COS. How could one group operate so successfully in the shadows like this, preying on everyone without warning?
“I’m not even sure where I was,” Julia admitted. She knew he was probably worried about her, but the truth was that she didn’t know how she was feeling mentally, emotionally. It was a lot easier for her to focus on a problem, especially when they both still had people in there. She was safe now, but so many people weren’t.
Of course, she’d also never been very good at confronting emotion or talking about her own trauma and it was possible diving in to trying to help solve the mystery of where the arena actually was might have been a way to avoid having to deal with her own experiences.
“That was probably part of the design,” Remus said, “keeping all of you from knowing exactly where you were. If you knew you weren’t far, or knew … knew anything...” His voice trailed off and he sighed. If they’d known anything more, they might not have acted the way they had; maybe it wouldn’t have been as good of a show, so to speak.
He reached out to brush his fingers gently through the hair at Julia’s temple. “We don’t have to talk about it. But I’m here if you do.” He knew what it was like to carry something with him that he didn’t feel he could talk about, something he knew he should talk about. It wouldn’t do her any good to press the issue, but he really hoped she wouldn’t keep it all in.
Julia offered him a weak smile. Talking about it wasn’t something she especially wanted to do, but if there was anyone she was comfortable with talking about it with - aside from Quentin, of course - it was Remus.
“Right now, I think I just want a hot shower and a long sleep in my own bed,” she admitted. Maybe a good bottle of whiskey, too.
“We can arrange that,” Remus promised, even though he had no idea how long it was going to take for the doctors to release her. It shouldn’t be too long; she was healthy - physically, in any case - as far as he could tell. “Do you want me to stay with you?”
“Are you sure you don’t have to go back?” Julia wasn’t sure she wanted to be alone after everything, but it felt a little selfish to pull him away from department, especially when they were still searching for the arena and the others who hadn’t made it back yet.
Shaking his head, Remus just held her hand tighter. “They can get by without me for a little while,” he insisted, “and they know where I am if they need me.” As much as he wanted to keep trying to find the arena so they could get the rest of their people back, he knew Julia needed him in that moment, too, and his team was capable. “I’ll stay as long as you need me to.”