Wonderful, funny story that made me laugh out loud. :oD Some of my favorite lines:
"..whom to contact as next of kin--Harry had put down Hedwig--" "WEASELs" "..while he was being lectured on his inconvenience. Inconvenience at having to take remedial sex or at simply being alive, Harry hadn't figured out yet." ""You're no more a shirt-lifter than I am a Gryffindor." "Welcome to Gryffindor, sir! Our password this week is 'ego sum hilaris' and I am so gay!"" LOL!! Please write more!!