InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Like eating eggs with a spoon."

Allen Walker (Star) (pierrotdetous) wrote in sabra_la_tau,
@ 2009-12-28 01:38:00

Entry tags:

!days 090-099, aeris gainsborough, allen walker, claude c. kenni, howard link, jace beleren, rabi, {chaz villette}, {{{james t. kirk}}}, {{{spock}}}, {{{ticky mikk}}}

Who: Lacerta + anyone concerned
Where: various places
When: Day 93, various times to night
What: Waiting around for the slow kill

(Read comments) - (Post a new comment)

	out_ofthe_chair 2009-12-29 03:11 am UTC (link)
	I thought it to be quite acceptable. May I inquire as to your reasoning? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	in_the_chair 2009-12-29 03:12 am UTC (link)
	Because I don't want him killing anyone on your team, first of all. And second of all, you're not allowed to get yourself killed without discussing it with me first. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	out_ofthe_chair 2009-12-29 03:14 am UTC (link)
	We cannot prevent the killing from happening. Also, you are not a member of Lacerta; discussing this matter with you is irrelevant. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	in_the_chair 2009-12-29 03:17 am UTC (link)
	Bar the door. Fight him off. Anything. And I'm your captain, dammit. Or I oughta be. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	out_ofthe_chair 2009-12-29 03:22 am UTC (link)
	While we are in Sabra La Tau, I am afraid that my team has precedence, Captain. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	in_the_chair 2009-12-29 03:25 am UTC (link)
	... What about being your friend? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	out_ofthe_chair 2009-12-29 03:27 am UTC (link)
	As a friend, I will ask that you abide by my decision. The needs of my team outweigh the needs of myself or you. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	analyze_that 2009-12-29 03:32 am UTC (link)
	[shakes his head, speaking quietly] In the short term, Spock's right. In the long term, not so much. You can't stop him from breaking here. There are just too many stressors you can't control. But if all you want is another day... Damn the judges, anyway. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	in_the_chair 2009-12-29 03:40 am UTC (link)
	[opens his mouth to argue. pauses.] A day's worth buying. Might make the difference. But it's not worth your life, Spock. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	out_ofthe_chair 2009-12-29 03:45 am UTC (link)
	I will not be dead for a full day. I will be revived in the morning. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	in_the_chair 2009-12-29 03:46 am UTC (link)
	That's not what we're talking about and you know it. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	out_ofthe_chair 2009-12-29 03:57 am UTC (link)
	[shrug :\|] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	analyze_that 2009-12-29 04:05 am UTC (link)
	Playing coy is only going to piss him off, but if it makes you feel better, by all means, continue. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	out_ofthe_chair 2009-12-29 04:08 am UTC (link)
	[full-on eyebrow action] I do not "play coy", Chaz. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	analyze_that 2009-12-29 04:17 am UTC (link)
	No, you just live it, don't you? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	in_the_chair 2009-12-29 04:25 am UTC (link)
	... ... [opens his mouth to say something. closes it.] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	out_ofthe_chair 2009-12-29 04:42 am UTC (link)
	Do you also have issue with my decision that you wish to relate? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

analyze_that
2009-12-29 04:54 am UTC (link)

You can't control when they'll break. Either Allen or Slick. You can only buffer it by hurting yourself. Which hurts Jim. Which damn well affects me. So I'd like to think I have a say in pointing out that you're risking a lot here. You just could say I have to speak up for all us entity inflicted types out there.

You're placing a burden on Allen. Sure, he's different. Here? He's also one of us. The Blanks. It rains on the just and the unjust, and here, it sure as hell means the Judges touch us all. And if he can't take responsibility sometimes...hell, that affect him too. He just wants to be normal. And even if he's not, sometimes, you're going to have to let him be normal, to take responsibility or he's going to do it for you, when he can. He's used to it, and taking it away his control of the situation just because you think it's better for him isn't always going to be a good idea.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

out_ofthe_chair
2009-12-29 05:16 am UTC (link)

I am not attempting to control their behavior, merely offer a hindrance until another method can be found. As to placing burdens, I cannot control that, either. A member of Lacerta must die, which is a burden in itself. Allen, as well as the other members on Lacerta who also happen to be Blanks, will be burdened no matter who dies.

Can you define what is "normal" for Allen? Allen himself struggles to find a balance within himself. You state that you and he are similar in that you share entities within yourself, but are you so similar? Unless you share the same affliction, I daresay that you cannot speak for him just as I cannot speak for him. His responsibility does not lie with my conscious and willing decision.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

analyze_that
2009-12-29 08:36 am UTC (link)

Because by offering to be the sacrifice, you're experiencing the sense of community and suffering that every blank experiences? Or are you using it to argue again tomorrow from a position of experience after serving your team?

I can define what's normal for me, which coincidentally seems to be pretty close for normal for him. Is it the same affliction? No. Do you need details? I don't think so, because I'm pretty sure you'd see that as trying to groom pity, and that's not what I'm here for. Do I think you're discounting his ability to rationalize and deal with his perceptions? Gold star. We have to live with what we're dealt, you see. And if we can't deal with it on our own, because we need to be that good. Do other people need to? No. Does a double standard exist there? You're damned right it does, but that's life, and life? Well, right now I'd say it sucks, wouldn't you?

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	out_ofthe_chair 2009-12-29 08:52 am UTC (link)
	If you seek to accuse me of attempting to gain, as it were, a position of authority within my team through ... experience, your accusation is unfounded. I sought to aid my team in the most beneficial way, which also aided a team member's endeavors. No more and no less than that. There is one fact that you have failed to account for within your argument, Chaz. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	analyze_that 2009-12-29 09:06 am UTC (link)
	Yeah? And what would that little detail be? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	out_ofthe_chair 2009-12-29 09:07 am UTC (link)
	Allen accepted my volunteering. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	analyze_that 2009-12-29 09:22 am UTC (link)
	So the fact that he realized you were enough of a stubborn bastard to accept that you need to make up the logic to cover up the emotional decision makes everything better, does it? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	in_the_chair 2009-12-29 01:09 pm UTC (link)
	[quietly:] Chaz. That's enough. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)