InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Your head smells like a puppy!"

Shigure Sohma // Rain(bow) (but_a_wolf) wrote in sabra_la_tau,
@ 2010-11-15 23:31:00

Entry tags:

!days 190-199, adachi emiri, aeris gainsborough, albert de morcerf, amami riku, apollo justice, johnny rayflo, kanda yuu, kudo shinichi, kurosaki tasuku, lelouch lamperouge, rabi, rolo lamperouge, ryougi shiki, uchiha itachi, yoi-te, {chaz villette}, {jack harkness}, {jack/tyler durden}, {m-21}, {sohma rin}, {sohma shigure}, {x-23}, {{{taiki}}}, {{{toboe}}}

Who: Rainbow, Guillotine and YOU.
Where: EVERYWHERE
When: Day 192, evening after earthquakes.
What:

[Rainbow is walking around dorms areas BANGING LOUDLY ON A POT. BRING OUT YOUR DEAD-- I mean, let's have SRS MEETINGS]

(Read comments) - (Post a new comment)

	assumedposition 2010-11-18 06:14 am UTC (link)
	... You said earlier, you think I'm a good person, right? So you're already doing it. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	crossboundaries 2010-11-18 06:26 am UTC (link)
	...I shouldn't have. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	assumedposition 2010-11-18 06:50 am UTC (link)
	... You're your own worst enemy, Night. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	crossboundaries 2010-11-18 06:52 am UTC (link)
	[dubious, self-deprecating] More than other Hydra? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	assumedposition 2010-11-18 06:59 am UTC (link)
	... Yes. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	crossboundaries 2010-11-18 07:09 am UTC (link)
	Maybe. ...Maybe. But I'm also the only one who can ... do anything for myself. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	assumedposition 2010-11-18 07:09 am UTC (link)
	... What do you mean? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	crossboundaries 2010-11-18 07:12 am UTC (link)
	My team... my friends... do a lot for me. But my desires... are inside me? My thoughts, my needs... even if I'm my enemy, am I my friend too? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	assumedposition 2010-11-18 07:25 am UTC (link)
	I don't ... think you can be both at the same time. As long as you're bringing yourself down, you'll always stand in your own way. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	crossboundaries 2010-11-18 07:28 am UTC (link)
	I don't think so... I'm being realistic. Aren't I? Nobody else will check me, or consider this from my view... (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

assumedposition
2010-11-18 07:33 am UTC (link)

It's true that nobody else can ever truly see something from another person's point of view. We're all biased in our own ways, I suppose?

But there's a limit to how far you can take that, as well. Sometimes, how you see yourself isn't always ... right. Can anyone really see themselves objectively? After all, we're also biased in regards to ourselves, aren't we? You can't see an object clearly when you're too close to it, so that's why ... sometimes, you need to rely on others, too. That's why we have friends, and teammates.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	crossboundaries 2010-11-18 07:37 am UTC (link)
	I'm not... disrespecting that. But I don't know. I don't know anything about myself. So I have to question. I have to... I can't say "I'm good". (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	assumedposition 2010-11-18 07:38 am UTC (link)
	Then you can't say "I'm bad," either. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	crossboundaries 2010-11-18 07:43 am UTC (link)
	But if my feelings aren't right, how can I ever decide anything? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

assumedposition
2010-11-18 07:49 am UTC (link)

... Do you think anyone ever is confident that what they think is the "right" thing? I mean ... I guess there are a few people like that. Like my father. But those people are the most difficult, because they're confident that they're right, so that when they're wrong ... they won't realise it, and they won't listen to reason.

But the rest of us, we're all ... floundering. Searching for answers. And we don't know if what we think is right or not? Maybe it is, maybe it isn't. Or how about what somebody else thinks is right or not? There's no easy answer, or way to tell. But we manage to make decisions anyway, don't we? Or ... if that's too difficult, you can choose to be undecided. That's a choice as well.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

crossboundaries
2010-11-18 07:56 am UTC (link)

I am undecided. I've ...always been undecided. I don't know. I can't decide. Even if I want to decide, it's too late for decisions to matter too much. Who is "Night"? Is Night "Yoi-te"? Who is "Yoi-te"? I don't know any of this. I'm impulses and thoughts. That's all of me. Controlled impulses and thoughts. I can't form any picture of me beyond that. Associations. If harming someone is "wrong", and justifying it is "wrong", and not justifying it when you harm others is "right", and not harming others is "right", then am I "right" or "wrong"? Is wrong "bad"? Is right "good"? If I do something and it feels "right", is it right? Does it mean I've done the right thing? If I want to do right, does that have meaning if I have to do wrong along the way? I --

... I don't know. Sorry.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	assumedposition 2010-11-18 07:59 am UTC (link)
	Night... (Reply to this) (Parent)

	assumedposition 2010-11-18 08:00 am UTC (link)
	... [screw this bullshit, hugging you now :(] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	crossboundaries 2010-11-18 08:03 am UTC (link)
	[oh.] [just. Kind of. Stays there for it???] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	assumedposition 2010-11-18 08:06 am UTC (link)
	... I'm sorry too. I didn't mean to ... make things more difficult for you. I just ... didn't want you to think so badly of yourself. That's all. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	crossboundaries 2010-11-18 08:08 am UTC (link)
	No, I... it's fine... you didn't. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	assumedposition 2010-11-18 08:36 am UTC (link)
	... But ... (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	crossboundaries 2010-11-18 03:40 pm UTC (link)
	I just... think a lot about this. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	assumedposition 2010-11-18 11:58 pm UTC (link)
	Mm. I'm ... sorry I don't have the answers you're looking for. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	crossboundaries 2010-11-19 02:42 am UTC (link)
	I don't know if they exist. But... ... thank you. [pats his back l-lightly are we still hugging ;;] (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)