psychologic_cal (psychologic_cal) wrote in rrinitiative, @ 2013-02-28 02:43:00 |
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Entry tags: | cal, cal and carmel, carmel, day twelve |
what keeps us civilized
Characters: Cal and Carmel
Setting: Block A corridors, afternoon
As he'd expected would happen, and had even anticipated coming sooner, tempers were wearing thin around here. Cal wasn't surprised that it was happening, he didn't need to tend to Susanna or check on Meg in the holding cells to know it, but that didn't make it easy to acknowledge. Largely? It was knowing that the small instances like the fight between the two women were indicative of a larger menace among the lot of inmates here. Like the rape, the vandalism, and the growing tension and responses brewing that sought to deal with them.
Something had to be done, granted, but the idea that trying to impose order would create more chaos was one that was plaguing Cal. Visiting Meg had fueled it, to be sure, and something in his talk with Susanna supported the idea too, and combined? Both of those thin itches of worry were stressing Cal out, and as he'd always done when dealing with stress in his professional life? He needed to eat. It didn't matter if it was pre-game in college or an all-nighter during his medical tenure, stress stirred up his appetite, and right now? Peanut butter with bananas had sounded heavenly, and tasted even better as Cal bustled from the kitchen with a sandwich in hand and a mouthful being busily chewed.
Carmel came out of her room, fresh from the shower after a work out. She'd felt the need after talking with Becka, her mind busy worrying over the younger woman and what might or might not have happened. It wasn't as good a work out as she got when she and Wu met (she smirked inwardly for a moment at the memory of how last night's had ended, and she wouldn't protest it ending like that again), but it had at least allowed her to use some of the anxiety she started feeling the more she wondered about what had happened. She headed toward the kitchen, thinking to do more prep for this evening, though there was no pressing need to get it done just yet. More that she was trying to fill her time in this place and not be bored.
She spotted Cal coming out of the kitchen and smiled in a friendly manner at him. "Hey Cal! Got yourself a snack, I see," she said, gesturing at his sandwich.
Raising a tall glass of milk Carmel's way in greeting, Cal grinned at her as he chewed and eventually swallowed, then tipped his drink for a gulp before speaking. "Carmel," he greeted warmly, brightening up in response to her appearance. If there was anyone aside from Violet who Cal figured had themselves largely together in here? It was Carmel. He figured there'd be some untended issues, but there would be with most people. Hers just had clearer origins... "How're you doin'? I'd say well by the look of it," he inquired curiously, grateful for the hopefully positive distraction from everything else going on just now.
She grinned and waited for him to be able to speak, noticing that the sandwich was largely peanut butter and knowing it would take a patient moment. She didn't mind; it wasn't as if she had a place she had to be. "I'm doing pretty well today, thanks," she said easily, pushing her damp curls back. "Just got cleaned up from working out. Such a nice gym space, and I don't gave to battle for it when I want to work out my problems." The endorphins helped, and the lack of gang members even if she had had the help of certain ones where she had been. "How about you? Rumor has it you're keeping busy," she said.
"Didn't know I warranted rumors," Cal said with a little chuckle, head shaking at the idea. He knew what she meant, of course; what had been happening in the facility had to be talked about, and he and Violet were the ones dealing with the aftermath. "But yeah, things have been a touch hectic lately. I'm keepin' busy enough that I couldn't get to the gym even if they had a hoop for me to play on." Not that he needed to just yet; Cal kept a good diet, and only twelve days without a proper workout routine had done nothing to diminish his toned physique. "Things been okay beyond today?" he asked more intently, "I know with everything goin' on that there's a good chance other folks' problems might not be gettin' addressed, so..."
"Oh, honey, they speak well of you," Carmel said, light and teasing. She was in a reasonably good mood, despite her worries, and being cheerful and joking had gone well so far. In the kitchen, she often heard casual mention of the problems that were going on; she'd heard from Ryan when he came from food about Susanna getting stabbed. The unease in the air around some made her worry a bit, though she thought she could take care of herself most of the time. "Well, you should ask for a hoop. It can't be too hard to hang one somewhere, and you can't be the only one who wants one," she said, knowing a lot of people liked to play. She shrugged slightly. "It's not been bad, some days better than others. Aside from other people getting into trouble, and all. But I'm not doing too poorly." Sleeping badly some nights, but there really was very little to do about that.
Cal liked hearing that she was okay overall, given how much of a lynch pin Carmel seemed to be with some of the people in the house. Food really was a universal common, and with how many others here claimed to be unable to cook? No one wanted to jilt the woman who did so much of it for them. "I figure a hoop would be a small request, yeah," he agreed after a moment, "The flat top's the trick. Gotta have at least a half court setup to press on, key to shoot for three from, all that good stuff. But I oughta at least ask." What harm could come of it? But at the same time, with everything else going on, how could Cal think of ignoring the help he could bring to others so he could play basketball?
"I figured that was somethin' we should all talk on eventually here; other people gettin' in trouble. Don't know that there's much solution for fights breakin' out, and I saw Wu askin' for volunteer patrols to catch whoever's vandalizing shit? But it's been a stretch since the blackout... since someone got attacked. I'm wonderin' how long 'til law enforcement's got somethin' to share with the rest of us," he said at length, sharing a private concern there. Someone in here was a rapist, someone had hurt Becka, and without some kind of closure to it? Cal couldn't help wondering who'd be next.
"Go ahead and put in a request -- I can put one in too, to back you up, if you want," she offered with a smile. She'd grown up around guys who loved to shoot hoops; she'd shot some herself, though she would never claim to actually be good at the game. "Who knows what other buildings and facilities they have hidden around here anyway, for all we know,t hey have on in another, still unseen block," she said. Her tone was perhaps a little dry, showing her disgruntlement with the continuing reveals, seemingly every time they settled into one thing.
"Yeah, Wu is going to get some stuff done, I know," she said, though they hadn't really had a good chance to talk about anything he was thinking about in that vein yet. There had been more... interesting and distracting things... to do the other night. Her expression shifted into a deeper frown as Cal mentioned an attack. It confirmed a bit of her suspicions from her discussion with Becka earlier. "I'd been wondering what was up with the condom patrol, among other things," she admitted.
"Yeah, I got chewed out by law enforcement for bringin' it up publicly before, so it's not for me to say," Cal explained before eating a smaller bite of sandwich. "But I'm fine with that so long as somethin' gets done. If patrols do it? Good." Though he doubted that, it seemed. Just like Carmel had said, there was plenty that could still be hidden from them here, and maybe it was paranoid of him? But Cal didn't think that extended only to the administration. "We oughta see if Jae or Jason or anyone's keen to do some self-defense. I don't go for that sort of thing, but I figure there's gotta be more than one of us here who knows how to. And if bein' prepared helps anyone rest easier at night..." he trailed, the conclusion obvious as Cal took a gulp of milk, then regarded Carmel intently. "Speakin' of, you been gettin' any more sleep since last time we talked?"
She snorted. "Great, a law state that is disinterested in listening to what we have to say," she said dryly, rolling her eyes a little. She hoped to be able to talk to Wu at some point; people needed to have some input. In the end, there had to be a leader and decisions. Committees were notorious for not working. But still... there were definitely issues to work out. "Patrols will be good, but can we trust the patrollers? I mean, some of the guards in my prison weren't pristine, and they weren't prisoners before." She perked at the mention of self defense. "I actually have some stuff the admins gave me several days ago to run a self defense class, and I'm trying to put one together," she told him. "It's just that things seem to keep coming up lately, and I've had to deal with that instead of the class.
That, and Brady and I keep seeming to not connect, and he was going to help me out, along with Wu, at least, if I get Brady to agree," she told him. She lifted one shoulder. "Sort of? Last night was better than any night except the ones where I took one of the pills you gave me," she said. "And some nights are better than others."
Cal had to chuckle at the eyeroll, shaking his head a touch. "Truth told, I did step wrong when it happened. I know they're tryin' to round up whatever they can and catch the people who're doin' these things, but at the time I was just lookin' to keep everyone else informed. No harm came of it, and now I know to think it through a lil' more thoroughly." Jae's tirade on the journals had definitely been effective in that regard. "And I really don't know 'bout the patrols yet. 'Quo custodiet ipsos cutodes' and all, yeah?" he quoted fluidly, "Though I think if Wu's the one organizin', people would do well to keep things on the level..."
And if he was apparently involved in self-defense training, that was something else to consider. It was a strange impression of the man to have, one that clashed with the case study Cal had once read. "I know how it is, tryin' to balance the chances to be close to normal here with the responsibilities," he empathized, "I'd say just set a goal for when you want to do it, and if something else comes up that's tempting? Make a sacrifice, do the class, and when you can indulge your wants again they'll feel earned. Hell, I bet you could even parlay doin' this class into extra hands in the kitchen from the people you're teachin', that'd net you a lil' more time." And clearly she was eager to do it, which Cal liked to see as much as he liked to hear that some measure of sleep had come. "I'm glad the meds helped, lemme know if you need any more. What was different last night, if you don't mind me askin'?"
"Ah well then, so long as everything works out in the end," she said. She had her own measure of paranoia, and sometimes here it was hard to not let them draw her in. They didn't rule her, but ever since her attack, well, it was understandable to be a little paranoid at times, at least in her mind. Her lips twitched. "Who will guard the guardians, right?" she translated, remembering it from a long ago college class. Or maybe it had been a movie. "I would think so too. He'll keep things in line." She just hoped it wasn't too hard a line for everything; temper discipline with appropriate measures.
"Well, the power went out the first time I wanted to do something," she said, wrinkling her nose at the memory. She hadn't been able to help that one. "I'm going to just have to jump in and do it tomorrow, or post something and just be there for when people show up, whether I have help or not. I mean, I know I won't be the best teacher, but I do know a few things, so even a little is something." Enough to hurt someone or make them think twice about doing things, though. "Yeah. I'll plan something easy to do for tomorrow, so I'm not spending all my time in the kitchen when I should be helping out there too." It was her own fault, for not multitasking as well as she could have. "I'll definitely let you know," she told him. She did take it seriously, even if she did want to avoid using meds when she could. Her face flushed a little before she could help herself, though she hoped for her skin to hide it. "Ummm." She sighed, lips turning up faintly. She wasn't ashamed, after all. "Sometimes it's easier to fall asleep with good company," she said. Given she did trust Wu, it made it a lot easier, even if she had jerked awake once rather hard.
"Yeah, you've got the Latin right," Cal confirmed, thinking that his take on Wu wasn't quite so simple, but it was close enough without him disparaging Wu. Apparently enough people here believed in the old gangster to vote him into the governor's role, and until he showed reason to doubt? Cal couldn't speak out against him, not even knowing that others like Susanna shared his worries. "And you let me know if you need a dummy to demonstrate on for classes, yeah? Takin' down a guy my size has gotta be empowerin' for most folks," he noted with a chuckle.
And while Cal missed the darkening of Carmel's skin, the faint smile and hesitation were still obvious clues before Carmel even confirmed them. "Don't gotta say another word 'less you've got need to," he told her, nodding in understanding and fixing a warm grin on Carmel, "A little bit of comfort goes a long way, even in a place like this. Hell, especially in a place like this. All we've got is reminders of what we're missin'." And it was honestly disappointing to know that Carmel had found someone; she was definitely an attractive, intelligent woman who wasn't afraid to acknowledge her own emotional scars. Really, either Carmel or Violet had been the closest thing to Cal being able to separate from his clinical side so far.
Carmel laughed softly. "A dummy, right," she teased gently, for she thought him about the furthest thing from dumb. She had enjoyed their few conversations. "I will, though. Being able to throw someone around of your size would definitely be good for the ego, though let's be careful not to hurt our doctor."
She nodded, feeling a slight surge of protectiveness even though she hadn't confessed his name. She wasn't sure she should, even to Wu, who she did trust. "Especially here," she agreed firmly. "Wasn't really looking for something, when I got here, but I can't say I don't want something. My only regret is I doubt we can keep anything we have here." It made it bittersweet, yes, but just because it might not last was no reason not to have it. She would take what affection and caring she could, and give it likewise. "But how are you, Cal?" She asked sincerely. If the watchers needed watching, well, there was also the phrase 'doctor, heal thyself.'
It really wasn't a question Cal was asked very often. He had a good front to show the rest of the world and encyclopedic knowledge of signs to specifically avoid, plus a mentality that constantly told him he needed to keep it together for the rest of them. Even when that 'them' was other convicts. "I'm alright," he said, feeling like it was mostly honest. He was strained, sure, and worried over what the future held, but was any of that unique to him in a place like this? "Long days, y'know? Even before the attacks and the fight and all, I've been sinkin' hours into trying to be ready however I can, for whatever might happen. Private sit-downs with people, runnin' tests, workin' with the nurses... I think I forget some days just how much more of this place there is than just the clinic," Cal admitted, grinning sheepishly with the words. "But I'm tryin' to be out a lil' more, case in point. Makin' an effort to do it at least daily, instead of wakin' up and riding the elevator down first thing."
"Well, you shouldn't spend all your time down there," she told him with a smile. "Sometimes no amount of preparation is going to get it all ready, and we can't have you burning yourself out or anything trying." Hospitals, after all, had a much bigger staff and a larger amount of supplies. He was just one man, with a couple of nurses. "You need to take time like this with others, outside of 'I'm a doctor.'" She liked hanging out with him, and it was always nice to just do that with people. "I know I'm always up for just chlling, even if sometimes it has to be done in the kitchen." She grinned at that. It wasn't like she wasn't nearly as bad, with her 'job' here.
"Don't I know it," Cal agreed with an easy grin, really feeling those words as Carmel said them. This was proof-positive of how right she was, and how right Becka nad Violet had both been too. Time off was a good thing, why not embrace it more? "Maybe I'll jus' start small or somethin', have a wander 'round the bits I haven't seen yet?" he suggested thoughtfully. "Or try roundin' folks up at night 'round dinner time, get in on some group atmosphere..." Either would be a good outlet for him, something removed from the clinic's relative quiet and the thoughts that were birthed in it. "'Course if I do you'd best expect insistent offers to join in, you an' whoever's got you smilin'. Which, by the way, is good to see whatever the reason," Cal complimented, thinking that with everything else Carmel seemed to have a handle on, she deserved a little happiness. But what a place to find it...
"Wandering around is a good way to start," she agreed. "I haven't done much of it, only been over to the other block once or twice. I keep myself busy enough over here." It was a homebody attitude she really didn't mind having though.
She splayed her hand on her chest, fighting a teasing grin. "Who me? Join in? Be social?" She said with mock affront, her eyes giving her away among other things. She laughed softly and smoothed back her hair. "We will see. I'll ask him if he'd like to come along with me." She rather thought the socializing would do both her and Wu good, and he shouldn't keep himself too apart from the people he was 'governing.' She just wondered how much of that the administration was really going to let him do.
"Way I hear it, you're already pretty popular 'round these parts," Cal pointed out lightly. "Gotta give the people what they want, right?" And thankfully it wasn't just because she could cook; the warmth and sincerity of the older woman had won her friends here, and Cal felt a tiny bit better about the facility when he considered that people like Carmel had sway. She probably didn't even realize it, or if she did? She'd never want to use it. "And you do that, gotta say I'm curious 'bout who it might be," he admitted, even if Cal could offer a few guesses. "We can do another group dinner like that first night, maybe? Or... rig up a screen outta sheets and show a movie in the courtyard." Anything that brought the lot of them together.
"People just love their stomachs is all," she said modestly, but she grinned to hear it anyway. It did make her feel good, to know she might be well liked around here. It also made her feel a little safer, though she knew it shouldn't. One side of her lips turned up higher than the other. She wasn't trying to be secretive, though neither was she one to flaunt it. She did have to admit she didn't know what he would think, but she also knew his opinion wouldn't sway how she felt either. Though she would be disappointed if he disapproved. "Not tryin' to keep it a secret," she told him sincerely, though she did feel an odd sort of shyness about it all. "It's Wu." There was a faint undercurrent of pleasure in her voice; it might be an unlikely pairing, but he made her feel beautiful and wonderful and her heart beat faster. She nodded. "Both of those are good. Just let me know enough ahead on either one, and I'll make up some food or snacks or whatever and we can make it a real go of it. I'll look forward to it," she said with a bright smile.
Thankfully, the surprise was more than enough to keep any shock or disapproval off of Cal's expression when she answered. Wu? Really? He never would've expected the sincere and gentle woman in front of him to fall for someone like that, though it didn't hurt that so far Wu's crimes and his behavior here didn't really synch up. "Woulda guessed Reece or Brady, maybe, if I'd been put on the spot," Cal confided with a little grin of disbelief, "And I'll spare you any warnings 'bout him, given that the lot of us are the sort who merit warnings. I jus' hope he does right by you, whatever that entails." He was confident that Carmel would stand up for herself and speak her mind, but with a man like Wu, would it be enough? Would anything? "An' I'll keep you posted, both of you. I'll even do one better an' keep from gossiping 'bout this, to boot," he promised with a chuckle.
Carmel smirked faintly for a moment. Should she say? Well, why not. It wasn't as if she had anyone much to actually gossip to. "Wasn't for lack of invitation from Reece," she confided in an amused tone. Of course, she knew she was far from the only one Reece was interested in. She smiled gratefully. "Can't say I know exactly what I'm doing, but as you say, all of us here have done wrong." And this place was supposed to be about starting over, right? "Thank you muchly, Cal. And you let me know about all that stuff, now. I wanna have fun too."
"Really now?" Cal replied with clear amusement at the tidbit about Reece. He wasn't a gossip by nature, but that was definitely going to fit in with how he viewed the convict in the future. "I won't go claimin' to be Dr. Ruth or anything, but if you ever gotta talk about things with Wu? I'm game to listen," he offered then, smiling reassuringly as he tipped his glass to Carmel. It was good to catch her again finally, and to know it wouldn't be long before he did so in the future, too. "And trust me, you'll be one of the first to know when I get word of somethin' going on around here. I think we're both due a break and some fun. I'll catch you soon, Carmel," he assured her in parting, stepping back to make way for her as Cal bit back into his sandwich.
She nodded, grateful for the offer. It was good to know she had someone to go to if she needed to. She was often so much better at listening than talking her own issues out. Carmel wiggled her fingers at him cheerfully. "See you soon, Cal!" she said jauntily and let him go on his way.