Re: TWD: graham + clem
He didn't think he was cocky none, he just knew what he could do and what he couldn't. Helped that the real world stopped mattering in here, a wasteland populated by the dead; otherwise Graham figured talking wouldn't come so easily. Back home, Clem remembered hurt. There wasn't nothing else to distract from it. Here, though, survival mattered more than any damn thing and that created a kind of bond that didn't carry over the same. It was a kind of closeness, he remembered that from living together in this place for all that time before. It was why he'd come back, why he still felt drawn to this door. He worked better in here, but he didn't care enough to figure out why that was. He was tired of trying to understand himself, tired of trying to make himself understood. For a little while? He just wanted to be.
"Ain't cocky," he said, belatedly. "Just saying." But it surprised him, her saying that Shane had it harder this time. She wasn't trying to blame him, he knew that, but he felt guilty anyway. He felt guilty about a whole lot these days. "Haven't been there for him like I should. For a real long time, it was just us." Graham didn't know why he was saying it, the words just came out.
There wasn't anybody else to leave Joy with. Penny was family, and he trusted her, even if she had no right to take the baby from Clem like she had some claim on her. "That's what matters. Her being safe," he said with a shrug. And if none of them made it out, least she'd be looked after. As for Jake, he didn't know if the boy would ever forgive him. Maybe he'd spend the rest of his life trying and failing to make things up to him. But that didn't mean he was going to stop, just meant he'd need to get used to a whole lot of hurt and disappointment. "Never meant for things to go bad between you two. Know he's mad at me. Know he hates me. Didn't want to drag you into it."
Since he had no idea what Jake'd wished for, he assumed Lore was wholly his wish and his alone. If he saw her surprise, Graham didn't say a thing about it. "Might be. No way to know." Not like his son would tell him himself. As for what made him change his mind, he let out a long, long exhale. "Didn't start off that way. She said she couldn't stay, but I didn't want to hear it." He closed his eyes. "Longer I kept her with me, worse it got. Always thought things'd be good if she came back. Figured it'd fix everything. Truth is, I ruined a whole lot trying to hold onto somebody who never wanted to be held onto in the first damn place."