Diana is a wonder (whipoftruth) wrote in rooms, @ 2014-04-23 15:21:00 |
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Diana was troubled, and when she was troubled, she went home. Cassandra wanted to flee to the island as well, and Diana took her turn. The shores often soothed her concerns, it was a simple place in many ways, and it made the world seem far away and less important. She helped with the city while the effects wore off from the poison, and as soon as it seemed safe again, she left. It was there that the man's voice in her head went away. He was gone, just like that, and she was still there. No new voice came to her. That was the only thing that drew her attention back, and Diana hated to consider herself a coward, hiding on her island. It was not hiding so much as contemplating. During the tainted water, she was happy. And Diana was not an unhappy person. She found contentment in her life and enjoyed having a purpose. The Justice League were now together and working again, and they managed to save the Watchtower before it all went down. So it was not happiness and then the absence of it, but more her reflecting on what was changed. She felt less of an outsider, she was more comfortable in the modern day, borderlining on being what they called a socialite. There was an absence of thought, of looking too deeply into her heart, it was shallow and on the surface. But then there was Clark. There was Clark and a scattering of memories that were vivid in her mind. These were the images she rarely allowed herself, outside of when they first met and she was certain they were well suited. And they were, in these new memories, but was that manufactured? She was conflicted to say the least, especially with Lois appearing briefly and then going away. The sisterhood had to be considered. Diana finally gave up the island and returned. She was no coward, and so she was determined to face this situation directly. Discuss it, get it out of the way, and move forward. She went directly to the Fortress of Solitude and waited there, sending a message to Clark first to meet her. Clark Kent was fairly introspective about the whole plot to happy Gotham literally to death. He wondered what kind of toxin could possibly have affected him of all people and it worried him. His strengths were vast, everyone knew that, and while he was attempting to acclimate to Gotham - he didn’t like the idea that he could be at all incapacitated. Of course, incapacitated was a strong word for how normal he’d felt through it all - that life had been the most normal he’d felt in a long time. If not ever. Of course it had all been fabricated but it hadn’t stopped him wishing it was real. Even still, with all the bad things that had happened as a result, he felt guilty for mourning a life he hadn’t had at all. A life he would never have. There was no secret amongst anyone that Kal was a bit sweet on Diana, but he had been trying to keep that in check. He was doing it mostly at her request, the message had been received loud and clear when they first discussed it, but he wouldn’t pretend that it had been easy. He was a bit concerned when Diana had asked to meet him at the Fortress, that seemed a bit more serious than a typical face to face discussion. He had been doing his best to keep his distance since they’d all come to their senses - they had been living together, married and living together, it didn’t exactly make for moments that weren’t awkward. He didn’t want to make her feel strange, and he certainly wasn’t keen to put any undue pressure on her. But he was willing to see her, of course, and he’d rushed to the Fortress urgently upon receiving her message. When he arrived he had the decency to at least look a little sheepish, but still there was concern written all over his face, and in his mannerisms. “Diana, is everything alright?” he asked immediately. Diana was concerned about the toxin working on her too, since her body worked differently than most humans, but in the end she accepted it simply did. Whatever Crane did, it was deliberate, and beyond that, they were in extraordinary circumstances right now. It was possible the magic of this place weakened all of them more than they know, making them vulnerable in unexpected ways. It was an unsettling thought. She hated doing anything she was not in control of. Choices were important to Diana. She had no plan, precisely. The idea was to have them talk and try and find a level of comfort again moving forward. With the Justice League starting again, they would need to work together. Denial seemed like the wrong move. She was not very good at it to begin with. Diana did not expect her reaction to seeing him again. With the distance between them it was easier to rationalize, but she had a physical and emotional response when he showed up. Looking concerned and caring and she still felt like she was married to this man. Not in a rational way. The woman wanted to be held by him and ignore the rest, the warrior and princess was telling her to get her act together. "No," she said honestly. "I thought it best we meet and get the air cleared, so to speak." She crossed her arms in a defensive posture, uncertainty in her eyes. "We have to be stronger as a team than we were before, after a disaster like this. Are you feeling well?" He wasn’t sure about clearing the air - he didn’t want to apologize for everything - but he knew he probably should. He was of two minds about it. Of course it wasn’t his fault, but it did leave him more and more curious, and it left him more and more alone at the end of the day. He took it as a bad sign that she wanted to clear the air. Clearly it was all bothering her. He disliked being manipulated of course, he disliked being led to believe in a truth that was clearly too good to be true. And he disliked that either of their lives were to be played with. But he hadn’t forgotten what it had all felt like either. He nodded, he would afford her any opportunity she wanted, he would do anything to make her feel comfortable with him again. “I understand, please also understand that you have nothing to clear the air about with me - I am bothered by being manipulated against my will - and bothered by the results this has taken on the city, and the people in it. The lives lost - all of it bothers me. And I am sorry we were made to believe something that wasn’t real. But there is no air to clear, Diana,” he said sincerely, and hoping to sound reassuring and comfortable to her. “I am feeling well, a bit confused as to how this happened to the both of us and the humans. But if stronger as a team is what you would like, I can assure you that everything that transpired has not changed my opinion of anything. Not who we are, who we must be, and it hasn’t changed the way I’ve felt. But I respect you completely - and the decisions you made during our first conversation about it. I am sorry that the toxin affected you in a way that might have made you do something you now regret. Or had no intention of doing. I don’t blame you for anything that happened, and I certainly don’t blame you for any of your feelings on it now - whatever those may be,” He wanted her to know that there were no hard feelings, he didn’t expect anything of her, and he would continue to work by her side as her friend and teammate. But he wasn’t going to lie about how he had felt either. Kal did not tell lies. Clark Kent, the most earnest and honest man she ever came across. It was no wonder he stood apart in her mind, far from all other men. Steve was much the same, in his own way, except in time her strength and power led him away from her. If there was any who could match Wonder Woman, it was Superman. She listened to him and smiled faintly, shaking her head. "We were married. We shared everything. We shared a bed, a life. It is impossible for my opinion to be unchanged." What that meant, she was still trying to figure out. "I wonder ...." She started and then stopped, considering her words carefully. Her eyes were troubled and thoughtful when she looked back at him, but she also took a step closer. "I do not think this toxin was random. It played upon wish fulfillment, or ... what we perhaps wanted to see." That was why it might have gotten difficult afterward, why so many were still suffering at the loss. Diana was not suffering, she was plagued with uncertainty, an emotion she disliked more than pain. "Do you think that is true?" Diana moved closer again, not much room between them now, her eyes searching his face for answers. "I never experienced with him what I had with you." Him being the Clark she knew, the one who was her friend for years, who she accepted as married to Lois and only an ally. "But you did with her." So perhaps he had wish fulfillment in his mind with the woman he left behind, and she was only a mirror image. Clark wasn’t surprised by her bold recollection, he had always liked that about her and she wasn’t pulling any punches now. He looked down for a moment and only after she said that it was impossible for her opinion to be unchanged did he look up at her with a small, but sincere, and almost boyish smile. “Well I hope it was changed for the better, if not I think I owe you many apologies.” He watched her face closely, acutely aware that she was stepping closer to him, and he listened to what she said. He thought it over, it was a question that deserved honest thought and reflection and he afforded himself the opportunity to think it over. When he finally spoke he kept his eyes on her, his gaze was soft, his expression earnest and he nodded a bit. “I think that it is possible that the toxin made us see what we wanted to see, but it wasn’t as it was at home either. I don’t,” he thought over his words carefully. “I don’t wish to go back to where I came from. I am building a better life here - with all of the bad things that have happened or could happen and probably will happen - this is the first time I’ve felt that I didn’t need to hide Clark Kent, or Superman. And especially not from you.” Being who he was back home, there was a certain desire to hide the best parts of himself that were human - because Diana and he related on the level of Superman and Wonder Woman first. This seemed different somehow. Better. Diana was surprised by his boyish smile and returned it. "I think we would be better served to apologize to our neighbors. And landlord." There may have been some breaking involved. They both had super strength and speed, and while their minds thought they were together a long time, it was an adjustment. Diana had never been with a man who was unbreakable. It was a relief. "It has been a long time for me," she admitted, without shame. Not since Steve. Diana knew that he struggled with his dual identities back home, and it must still be difficult now. She nodded her head in understanding. "I feel better being public. I became Diana Prince out of necessity, but I was never very good at it." And most people did not believe her cover story after awhile. She wore no mask. There were only so many tall raven haired Amazons in the world. "I suppose here we can be whatever we wish." The question was what she wished. She could continue on as a diplomat and superhero. The Justice League needed them. But this was her personal life. "I have feelings for you. I fought them for a long time, and I am weary of it." It was difficult to admit, since she was talking about before they came here too. She pushed it down for years. But now it was right in her face, and Diana disliked living a dishonest life. "I thought perhaps they would wear off, if they were false. But ...." She put her hand on his arm, a little hesitant. "I missed you." Clark smiled again a bit sheepishly and looked down at his feet for a moment - this was yet another shining example of Diana saying exactly what she meant, and he appreciated it nonetheless simply because it made him feel a bit sheepish. “I like to think, at least in that reality, the neighbors and landlord might be used to it, we probably sent multiple notes -” because they were polite like that. He nodded, and thought things over a bit, the world at large still had some realities to face regarding Clark Kent and Superman - but she understood his struggles well, Bruce to a certain degree of course - but there was always a sense of otherness about Clark and Superman and his whole life. Bruce was still a man. A human man, and Clark struggled as much with what it meant to be a human man as he did with what it mean to be a Kryptonian. “I liked never having to have lied to you,” because that was someone else in a small group of people that he depended on for so many things. And that he hoped depended on him in return. It had been part of the appeal, and part of the reason why he’d been so confused about what she’d said about Lois Lane - could anything start from the lies and half truths? There wasn’t much in the world that could knock Superman over - Man of Steel and all. But when she told him that she had feelings for him - he had to wonder if he hadn’t just been completely knocked over. It wasn’t what he was expecting, but it wasn’t that. When she touched him he took her other hand in his and smiled at her. “I always miss you, Diana.” Diana was always honest, it was part of how she was raised, and part of what made her the champion of the Amazons. Her lasso demanded the truth, of the people she touched it with, and for her own heart. Her bluntness was all her own, but her sisters did not waste words either. "I should hope we would be that mindful. It could have been more destructive." It was wonderful. She was reminded of what it felt like to lay in a man's arms. At his confirmation, she took it as permission to come closer. She was bold, Princess Diana, and she pushed aside her hesitations now. Blue eyes looked at him intently and then she reached up to wrap her hands around his neck and leaned up to kiss him. Their first kiss without any illusion toxin making it foggy. She thought that perhaps would make it very clear where she stood now. Clark stood up a bit straighter as she moved closer and didn’t waste any time closing the distance between the two of them. He was a little clueless sometimes, and more than willing to let her call the shots, but he wasn’t clueless in that moment and he was going to take whichever stolen moments were offered to him. His arms wrapped around her tightly and he wasted no time in deepening the kiss, he’d missed this - even when they’d been under the effects of the toxin he’d relished in this. In her. But this was different somehow, better, perhaps because this was more real. Once they’d learned the truth it had left him both concerned and bereft at what he’d lost, again. Having had her so close, and yet so out of his reach, had been hard on Kal - he’d tried to respect her boundaries, but he found it difficult. She had been patient with him, even accommodating, and he knew she owed him nothing when he slipped up. But she hadn’t turned her back, and as painful as it was to hope - he didn’t know how to do anything else. And now she was here, in his arms, and it was real and by choice and he didn’t want to let her go. He’d missed her, and it was clear how much in the way he held her, and the way he kissed her. She remembered kissing him, being with him, facing each day as his wife. And those memories could haunt her, or she could make at least some of them happen in her real life. Diana was taught by her mother to fight for the things she wanted. Worrying about whether this broke the code or not would be thought about later. For now she leaned into his embrace and felt safe and wanted and it was a rare occurrence for a woman used to taking care of herself. She pulled back after a few seconds and her smile was mischievous. "Our weekly date night will have to resume itself now." Dating someone was novel to her. She loved the simplicity of it. Kal nodded rather enthusiastically and returned her smile, “I’ll try and take you somewhere nicer than this place,” he teased, meaning of course the Fortress of Solitude. |