His stomach turned again with her words. She'd believed him — just like he'd wanted her to, at the time — because she thought she could and, up until that point, she'd never been wrong about that. Derek lied to her to protect himself. Plain and simple, that was what he'd done and Patty deserved a lot better than that. The selfish part of him was here because he realized a little too late that he wasn't ready and he didn't want to let her go. Derek knew he wasn't being fair. So when she clarified that she thought that she might have known rather than agreeing that she did, Derek didn't argue with her, even though he thought, deep down, she'd known and that was why she'd told him that she loved him...because she'd assumed he would say it back. And he should have.
He was silent, looking down at the puddle of rain water forming at his feet where he stood. Patty wasn't kicking him out, but she wasn't really inviting him in, either, and Derek was terrified that if he decided to take an initiative to move to her before she was ready for that — if she ever was — then he'd make her decision for her and she'd decide against him; she'd send him away to protect herself and why shouldn't she, based on the experiences she'd had up until now?
Patty moved, finally, hesitating before actually moving close enough that he could touch her, but he waited. Derek didn't want to press his luck, but once he felt her forehead against his shoulder, Derek ignored the rain soaked into his clothes or the fact that he would be transferring that to hers, and he pulled her in close, tucking his chin and pressing his lips to the top of her head. "No," he said, shaking his head. "I'm not. I won't. I'm not going anywhere unless you tell me to," he promised.
"I love you so much, Patty, and I'm so, so sorry," he whispered against the side of her head as he shifted to press his cheek to the spot on her head where he'd kissed her a moment before.