When she had finished Patty's arms crossed in front of her chest once more, her shoulders hunching forward as she withdrew into herself. She couldn't even acknowledge what he had said aloud because it felt so wrong, hearing those words from somebody for the first time in a situation like this. No one had ever told Patty that they loved her before, and that was something that used to hurt her until she reached a point where she believed that it was for the best. The first time she heard it, they would mean it, and it would be perfect. But it wasn't perfect... Derek was standing there soaking wet with a look of despair, confessing to her while she was still heartbroken, and none of this was happening the way that she told herself it was supposed to happen. None of it felt good.
When he took a step forward Patty reflexively twisted away from him, her body practically flinching as her arms tightened around herself until he fell still again. She kept telling herself that none of this was right; love wasn't supposed to be this way. Love was supposed to be holding and unwavering and gentle, it wasn't supposed to be tears and apologies and pain. Her lips were pressed together in a thin line as she put forth more effort just not to cry, but she was slowly losing that battle and she knew it.
She was a forgiving person, and all she wanted to do was forgive him, but her feet still wouldn't move. The pain he had caused her until he saw fit to finally tell the truth was very real, a lingering sort of ache that didn't go away no matter how distracted she was. From the moment she woke up to the moment she finally passed out on her couch, through showers and cooking and work and shows, it was like a little voice in the back of her head that whispered his name on constant repeat so she could never forget or heal. Who could do that to a person? Who could lie about something that meant so much?
"You're not supposed to hurt the people that you love," she uttered in a hush, hot tears finally rolling down her cheeks. It must have sounded so childish. Perhaps her view of love was childish, but while others had that one thing that they cherished above all else when looking for that someone, may it be trust, loyalty, honesty or anything else, all Patty ever wanted was to not be hurt. All she wanted was for someone to never hurt her, and she was so convinced that Derek was that someone. She truly believed that Derek Hale wasn't capable of causing her pain, and that he was so wonderful because he cared enough about her to try to protect her from that.
And yet here they were.
She tried to meet his gaze through blurry vision and she moved a hand to wipe at her eyes in frustration before it moved back in place, fingers digging into her own arm. "How do I know I can trust you? How do I know you won't do this again? How do I know you even mean it?"