Isobel Flemming-Saltzman (iwantedthis) wrote in ridgewayresort, @ 2011-04-01 21:11:00 |
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Entry tags: | alaric saltzman, isobel flemming-saltzman |
Who: Isobel and Alaric
When: April 1, morning
Where: Isobel's room
What: He's been avoiding her, but now that they're trapped in a cabin together, they confront the inevitable
Rating: TBD
Status: Incomplete
Ric had been filled with guilt since he and Isobel had... been intimate. He loved her, and he wanted more than just sex from her. He wanted to try again. Since that day, he had been avoiding her again. He seemed to either be confronting or avoiding her. The middle ground was not possible, apparently. When he tried to skip out early this morning, however, he found it impossible to leave. He stomped up the stairs and pounded on Isobel's door- not entirely sure it was her, but needing to find out anyway.
Isobel, on the other hand, hadn't let herself dwell on it that much. She was a little concerned that Ric would pose the question of what it meant at some point, but she was happy to avoid that topic as long as possible, and it seemed that Ric was as well. He hadn't been around the cabin much at all. She'd hear him come in late and night and leave early in the morning, but she didn't see him. Was it possible that sex had been the trick to make him stop pressing the feelings thing?
That particular morning, she heard the knock--or more like pound--on her door and she rolled her eyes before getting out of her bed to open it. She was still wearing her nightgown, but she didn't care about looking presentable, and based on the night they spent together, she was fairly certain he wouldn't mind. "Yes?" she asked, leaning against the doorframe when she saw him.
Noticing her state of undress, he felt a little stupid. He sighed, rubbing a hand over his face. "Sorry... I didn't realize you were still in bed," he said softly. "It appears we can't get out of the cabin." He honestly didn't know what else to say, so simply stood there, watching her.
Isobel wasn't sure what confused her more--the fact that they were stuck in the cabin and how that was possible or the fact that he came up to tell her as much. No, the answer came to her quickly, it was definitely the latter. For someone who had seemingly gone out of his way to avoid her for days, this was definitely a strange turn of events. She pushed away from the doorframe and stepped back into her room.
"I can get something on if it bothers you," she replied, noticing the expression on his face. Had it actually bothered her that they'd slept together? With all of his determination to find out that she actually still had feelings, she wasn't sure what to think. He spent more time yelling at her than anything, but a small part of her wondered if he wanted her to still love him. Was that wrong? "Is there something else you needed?" she asked, gesturing that it was okay to come in.
He stepped inside the room, feeling a bit awkward. The last time he'd been in here, they had made love... or as Isobel would say- they had sex. She would probably tell him that sex was natural and required no emotions. He shook his head at her clothing question, merely shrugging. He hated having this shy feeling around her. He was quite uncomfortable. "I just... didn't know if you knew. Or if... Maybe you did it," he managed with another small shrug. He leaned against the dresser near the door, watching her closely.
Isobel wasn't sure what to think of this side of Ric. Even when they were married, he was never shy around her. Not like this. Even before they slept together here, he hadn't been shy. Angry. Very angry, but not shy. She knew how to deal with anger, she didn't know how to deal with this.
When he didn't say anything to her offer to get dressed, she sat down on the edge of her bed, her eyes watching him as he explained why he was there. "I didn't know," she answered him. "And why would you think that I did it? Not to mention how I would have done it." Something like trapping people in a place seemed more like witchcraft than a vampire ability to her.
He shrugged helplessly again. He actually, deep down, knew she wouldn't know and she hadn't done it. He had just wanted to see her again. His eyes drifted over her slightly mussed hair, which he found endearing, her nightgown, and her feet. She was adorable, even if she were deadly. He rolled his shoulders, trying to rid himself of this uncomfortable feeling. "Looks like we're stuck here for the time being, then," he pointed out unnecessarily.
"Looks like it," Isobel answered him, her eyes still on him. It seemed to her there was still more to it than that. Something he wasn't too willing to tell her, or maybe he didn't even know himself. She let out a sigh and patted the spot on the bed next to her. Having him just stand there awkwardly was getting a little too weird for her.
"Okay, Ric, what gives?" she asked finally. "You go for days avoiding me--and yes, that's pretty clear. I can hear you coming and going, even when I'm asleep. And now you come up to tell me that we're stuck, but you're clearly not finished in here or you would have left, probably gone to your room to hide until someone got us out." Which, admittedly, depending on the situation, Isobel could probably do with some property damage. Did that count for things that Peterson would look down on?
Alaric reluctantly - or not - trudged over to the bed and sat beside her. They weren't touching, but the close proximity brought back memories of the night they spent satisfying one another. He looked away from her, attempting yet again to shake these feelings. "You know," he said softly, turning his head back to look at her, his eyes drifting to her lips. He quicky averted them, looking at the wall behind her head. "I know how you feel, and I know how you feel. There's not much more to say, is there," he said, feeling his cheeks heat. He could feel the shyness peeling away, to be replaced by irritation.
Isobel watched as he moved over to sit next to her, her head turning to see him as he got closer. He wasn't the only one dealing with memories of their night together, and really it had affected it more than she let on or even that she cared to think about. She hadn't been lying in the letter when she told him she loved him, and she was sure he knew that. Yes, sleeping with him brought some of those feelings more to the surface, but she was perfectly content to leave all of this unresolved.
But he clearly wasn't. She sighed softly and looked straight ahead so that she didn't have to look at him. "What do you want from me, Ric?" she asked him. "You're right, you know how I feel. I was under the impression that was all you wanted. But judging from your anger the other day, your avoidance since then and your shy attitude now, it's not all."
Ric sighed, hanging his head. He draped his elbows over his knees, leaning forward. "Honestly? No, that's not all I wanted. I want you. Isobel, why is it so hard for you? How can you claim to love me, sleep with me, yet still not want to be with me?" he asked, glancing over at her profile, his brows furrowed with barely suppressed frustration.
Isobel hadn't been sure whether or not she had seen this coming or not. Knowing that he wanted so badly to know how she felt, she suspected it, but honestly she figured that he would be too mad at her to consider it. Apparently, she was wrong.
"No you don't," she told him, looking at him again. "I get it. You think you do. You fell in love with me and you married me and you never got a proper goodbye. But I've changed, and I don't just mean that I've become a vampire. It's changed who I am. I'm not that girl anymore, you have to know that somewhere deep down. I can't make you happy and that's what I want for you."
Ric stood up angrily and paced away from her. He walked a circle around the room before stopping before her. He looked down at her, hands crossed over his chest. "Let me get this straight," he spat, "you can love me, and fuck me, but you can't be with me because you've changed too much for that? What a crock of shit. I think you're scared." he hadn't meant to lose his temper with her- again- but he had. She really knew how to push his buttons. And always saying that he wanted what was best for him... That really pissed him off.
Isobel watched him. At least the awkwardness was gone now, even if it was replaced by anger. She could handle anger much better. Her eyes followed him around the room until he stood directly in front of her and started to speak.
It was this all over again. He didn't like that she wanted better things for him. He had to be so damn stubborn like that. She had already hurt him once, was he really so quick to trust her not to do it again? She'd been human when she hurt him before. She had a lot more feelings then, or at least showed them more. Now, she refused to show her feelings, turned off as many of them as she could, but he was standing there pissed at her because she couldn't be with him? "The fact that I love you is why I can't be with you," she clarified. "Why is it so hard to believe that there's someone else out there, someone content with being human, who could make you happy? I don't want this life for you, Ric."
He sighed, basically growling low in his throat, with frustration. When he spoke, he was gesturing wildly with his hands. "Why don't you get it?! You can't CHOOSE what and who makes me happy?! Regardless of the past, and despite what you are now, I love you. I love you, Isobel. You don't get to choose what life I live, got it?" he basically screamed, his blood boiling.
Isobel sighed, frustrated. She was trying so hard to do what was right for him, but he had to fight her every step of the way. She glanced down at the floor before looking at him again. "I'm not doing this to be a bitch," she told him. Sure, she'd been a bitch to him a lot lately, but even that wasn't for the obvious reason. "I'm doing it to protect you... from me." Her eyes looked into his, trying to get him to see reason. "I hurt you once and I have spent the last two years regretting that. I don't want to put myself in the position to hurt you again."
He sat beside her, feeling like he had made a little process- she was opening up a bit more. "How do you think you'd hurt me now, if you've seen why happened before and regret it? I know that you're smart, Isobel. You learn from what you deem to be mistakes," he said, angling toward her an looking into her eyes. He didn't want to be presumptuous an assume she regretted everything she had done. But she had stated she had some regrets, and he knew she wouldn't repeat them.
To be honest, Isobel didn't regret everything. She was sure that he would hate some of the things she'd done and not regretted. But the most important thing was leaving him. That was the one thing that made her regret her decision more than anything. If she couldn't have him, it wasn't worth it. But that didn't mean she intended to take him back just because it was what she wanted. She still believed that he was better off this way. Even if he seemed to disagree.
"I left you once for something I was so sure I wanted more than anything. What's to stop me from doing it again?" she asked him. "We can never have a normal life together. Do you really think you can accept the fact that I drink blood? I've killed people, Ric." Those were the big things he should be condemning her for, not loving her. "You'll never have a family with me. You'll grow old and I won't."