Darius (healersoath) wrote in rewritethreads, @ 2020-11-16 19:31:00 |
|
|||
Entry tags: | character: catherine bones, character: edgar bones, player: amy, player: lily |
WHO: Catherine & Edgar Bones.
WHAT: Dealing with the aftermath of what happened.
WHEN: 15 October 1980, evening/night. (Yes I'm backdating).
WHERE: St. Mungo's Hospital.
RATING: Not High. She's hospitalized.
Normally so late at night Catherine would have been in bed and attempting to sleep. The night before with everything feeling so on edge she was up pacing in the sitting room with her in-laws talking about her concerns. She was afraid for Edgar with how hard he was pushing himself and afraid that something would happen that would push him over the edge into even more reckless behavior. She couldn’t explain it but since the baby was born he’d acted differently. Less reckless perhaps as he’d promised her but there was just something different in his behavior and she couldn’t pinpoint exactly what it was. He was almost careful or cautious around her. Even when he was trying his hardest to ‘pamper her’ as he called it. He was different. It worried her.
About the time she admitted that this change worried her because it felt almost like he was a fuse ready to go off at any moment he’d arrived. Cate had felt relief upon seeing him yet he seemed on edge. Something was wrong and she could feel it even if he wasn’t saying it. Not long after, everything began to fall apart. The Lestranges stormed the house and Cate was forced to watch as the gruesome attack happened. Her first thought was the children and she’d attempted to go with her sister in law to get to them when she was hit with a spell that caused her to crumple to the floor in agony.
Protect our children. It was the last thing she’d said to her sister in law knowing it was probably going to be the last thing she said at all. She’d forced herself up, fighting through the pain she was in to try and protect herself and her father in law who was the closest to her. That fight was a losing battle and somehow she could already see that. The last thing Cate saw was Gareth Bones die before everything went black and she collapsed in a bloody heap against the floor.
When she awoke again there was pain she couldn’t even begin to describe. She could hear voices around her, Edgar’s maybe? They faded in and out until she was unconscious from the overwhelming pain yet again. What transpired after she couldn’t remember and honestly didn’t want to. Where she was there was no more pain and no more fear. She’d resigned herself to death - but at least her children were safe.
The feeling when she awoke was one of….well calm. The first calm in a while as her eyes slowly fluttered and the world came into focus. Or at least her hospital room. A soft sound escaped her as she tried to shift, the world coming back in flashes to her until that fear slammed home and Cate tried to sit bolt upright. “My children..” escaping in a fear filled tone as she did. The pain came surging back causing her to grip the bed, unable to suppress the sound she made as it all hit her. In her less than calm state Cate fought herself and the pain to get up. She had to get to her children.
--
The whole night had been a nightmare stretching into the day. For once, Bones felt lost, unable to do anything about what was happening. He was told not to pace in Cate’s room, so he had taken to pacing out in the hall. He was talking to a Healer when he heard her cry out. In an instant, Bones was at her bedside, trying to steady her so she couldn’t get up but so she wouldn’t hurt herself either.
“Cate, it’s okay. The kids are all right,” he told her, trying to help ground her. There was a huge part of Edgar that felt guilty that he wasn’t hurt at all. Well, no. He had a bruise on his forehead from where he had tried to physically tackle the masked Death Eater only to be thrown off clumsily. He wished he’d been able to do more, but the evening had been a disaster. He was grateful that Benjy had turned up when he did, otherwise none of them would be here right now.
“Maggie got them out,” he told her. “They didn’t see anything that happened.”
--
Hearing Edgar’s voice in that moment as her mind raced through the horrors of the night prior to waking up calmed Cate considerably. Turning her attention to him, her gaze was near frantic as she searched over him to see that he was still in one piece despite the obvious bruise that she could see against his forehead. She could feel the warmth of his body near hers and that was all she needed in order to let it all sink in. He was alive, he was safe and as she listened, their children were safe. Her babies were fine.
A sobbed sound escaped her as she reached out for him, cringing as she did but forced herself to anyway, needing his nearness. Cate was no Auror, she was no Hit Wizard - she was a healer. Yes she saw people at some of the worst points in their life doing what she did, but she wasn’t by trade someone who saw that kind of awfulness on a regular basis. There was a difference between someone hurting themselves magically or non-magically and what she saw. Something she wasn’t sure she could ever forget.
“I’m sorry, Edgar,” it was all Cate could say. What could she say to make this better? She’d adored his parents. They’d taken to her faster than she could have hoped and after she was disowned had practically adopted her. His family was her family and now? The grief hit her hard though she knew it was nowhere near what Edgar was feeling. “I’m sorry.” She repeated as she gripped his shoulders and buried herself into him. She couldn’t save his father, she’d tried….and she couldn’t. “I’m sorry, I tried to get to your father but everything happened so fast and…..I’m so sorry, Edgar.”
--
As she reached for him, Bones went to her. He couldn’t just leave her like that. He moved halfway onto the bed and held her close, burying his face in the crook of her neck, knowing it was one of the few places she wasn’t injured. He kissed her skin and closed his eyes, allowing himself to enjoy their closeness. He had pushed down all of the grief and fear in favor of a frantic need to pace and think and hope she was okay. Now that he knew she was, it all came crashing down on top of him.
“No,” he told her, pulling back to run his fingers through her hair. “No, don’t apologize. I’m just glad you’re alive.” He leaned forward and pressed a kiss to her forehead, willing the tears not to fall. Not that he cared if she saw him cry most of the time, but he wanted to appear strong for her. She hadn’t done this. It wasn’t her fault. None of this was her fault. It was the Death Eaters who had done this to her.
“I love you,” he told her pointedly. “So much. I don’t know what I would do if something happened to you.”
--
His fingers sliding through her hair always felt calming, even now in the midst of the worst night either of them had faced to date, she found the actions calming. Still guilt rolled through her like a second wind and Cate was left half crying and half trying, for his sake, to remain calm. She didn’t want to make this worse on him, she really didn’t. Edgar had enough to worry about and enough on his shoulders without adding what happened to her to it. She didn’t blame him, hell she blamed no one but those that attacked them.
It didn’t matter though, not really. She’d known Edgar long enough to know that his ‘hero’ side would kick in and he’d blame himself for her getting hurt. He’d always been protective of her, she couldn’t remember a time when he wasn’t. It was only a matter of time but she hoped to stave that off as long as possible because in truth, none of this was his fault. How could you plan or account for something like this happening? Especially when it wasn’t necessarily public knowledge that they were there? She’d only told him and Edgar wasn’t about to invite death eaters into his parents house.
“I love you too,” the sound was strained even to her due to her voice but the words were as strong as ever. She did love him and had faith in him. There was no one in this world that she trusted more than Edgar. The thought of dying hadn’t really occurred to her until the night Bellatrix found her and caused her early delivery. After that it became much more real and then tonight….
“You would survive,” Cate said as she looked up at Edgar, tears still falling as she lifted her hand to his cheek. “And you would keep my babies alive because they are still living parts of me. And you will get as far away from this war as you possibly can. And you’re going to make me that promise, because as much as I know it would destroy every part of me to do it, that is what I would do if I lost you. They come first, Edgar, not me.”
--
There was no way Cate could make this worse on him. In fact, her presence alone helped. She was his rock and Bones knew as long as she was with him he could get through anything. This weird future shit and the fact that he had to reconcile his own death months from now. Cate was the only person he needed. They would make it together and he was going to make sure of it.
He could feel her relax in his arms so even though her voice was strained, he could hope that he still provided her with some comfort. He wished he could tell her things would be okay, but he didn’t know. He wished he did but it was impossible to say. Not when his parents were dead and she was here in the hospital as injured as she was.
“You aren’t going anywhere,” he told her with a frown. “Not on my watch. So we’re not going to talk about that. You all come first. I will protect you and them until my dying breath. So no more talk of dying. We’re safe now.”
--
“If I can’t talk about it, you’re not talking about it,” Cate couldn’t imagine her life without him in it. Much as he thought of her as his rock, Edgar was hers. After being disowned for refusing to give him up, Cate was lost. Yes her family were elitists and yes they held purist beliefs that she didn’t agree with or subscribe to. But all of that aside, they were still her family. Cate loved her parents dearly, she’d loved her brothers. They’d given her an ultimatum; them or Edgar. She’d known of course that it would eventually come to that but it didn’t make the choice any easier when it did.
He’d been her anchor since that day and the thought that his job or this war could take him from her was absolutely terrifying.Yes she would continue life because she would have to for the sake of their children but she didn’t want to live without him. “I know,” she agreed as he spoke of them being safe. “I’ve always been safe with you around.” That thought brought a brief and sad smile to her lips. “Who wouldn’t want to marry their own hero and prince charming? I’m just lucky and got both in one.”
There was a bittersweet feeling to that as she knew that he would be far more successful as a hero without her at home to worry about. But selfishly she didn’t want to give him up. She loved him more than anything in this world. Her hand slid away from his cheek as she cringed, pain creeping in and forcing her to lean back into his arms rather than holding herself up as the pain was too much. “You shouldn’t be here with me. You should be with Amelia and Jeffrey. They need you right now, and you need them.” Not that she minded, she did in fact need him as well but his siblings needed him more - or so she thought and it would be selfish to keep him when they needed each other.
--
When Cate had chosen him instead of her family, Edgar had promised her that he would always be there for her and he had yet to go back on that promise. Knowing what he knew now was just motivation. She couldn’t die. He wouldn’t let her. Even if he died himself to save her, he was going to make sure that she got through this war. She and their children came first, but he also knew as much as he said that she would argue with him. Their family wasn’t whole without him there, and he’d be damned if he would disappoint her like that.
“Then we won’t talk about it,” he said with a gentle smile. “We’re still here, and we’re going to be okay. No dying today for either of us.” Arguing was pointless. The vicious cycle of ‘no, I’d rather die for YOU’ wasn’t going to help either of them. It wasn’t like Bones wanted to die anyway. He wanted--no, needed--to live to see his children grow up. They would get to play with Susan and make friends with Harry and the others. He knew that they would, he just had to make sure they made it.
“I’ve already talked to them,” he informed her. “They have each other and Ella. They have the kids. I need to be here with you.” He leaned forward and pressed his forehead to hers, careful not to put any pressure on her in case it hurt. “I’m not going to leave you here on your own until they kick me out.”
--
Cate’s eyes closed at the comfort, there was honestly nothing she could say that could explain the way it felt to be in his arms. To feel the gentle press of his head against hers. It was admittedly the sort of love that most people found revolting because of their affection for one another. But that was something that someone couldn’t fake. That kind of depth of emotion was something that if you felt it, you’d give anything to keep it and have it for your own and Cate would. Though at the moment, all she wanted was to remain like this, away from the dangers of the world and just well safe. Fighting for it could come later, she was a little tired for fighting any more tonight.
“I doubt they’ll kick you out,” she managed out as her hands moved up, one curling into the front of his shirt and the other curling into the back of it to hold him as close as she could stand the contact. Pain laced through her at most movements, even small ones, so she was abnormally cautious with each movement against him to ensure the least amount of pain possible. Who’d have thought a late night chat would lead to this? Would end like this?
That terror was something you couldn’t explain. “Are we ever going to be safe, Edgar?” Cate asked out as more tears surfaced. That calm and ‘happy’ moment surpassed as more pain sliced through her and caused that fear to surface easily despite her desire for it not to. “Is it ever going to be over?”
--
The fighting wouldn’t be done for a long time, but they could always find stolen moments like this. Bones cherished these moments more than anything. Perhaps more than anyone even realized, even Cate. He was on the front lines and knowing he could die in an instant, even before his time now, was nerve wracking. He had always felt invincible in his youth, but lately that feeling was diminishing replaced with a certain acceptance of the potential for death. He needed it, otherwise he’d be too scared to do his job. He didn’t want to die. Not with what was waiting for him when he did make it home at the end of the day, but she and the kids were the reasons he put his life on the line like that, both as an Auror and in the Order.
“We’ll see,” he said with a grin. “I was pretty obnoxious before you woke up, after all.” He wanted to make sure she didn’t have to move much, but she was always insistent on telling him what she wanted, so the fingers curling in his shirt and against his back told him that he needed to move closer, so he did.
“Someday,” he told her, knowing damn well it wasn’t something he could promise. Not with the information he had now. Immediately, a wave of guilt washed over him. He looked away from her, but knew instantly that she would catch it. He couldn’t keep hiding this. He’d told Hermione he wouldn’t. Cate deserved to know, and he was going to bring her into things. Maybe the DA could protect her with their knowledge of the future they could do something about it.
Then again, they were just kids. What could they do? Harry had fought the Dark Lord, but so had James and Lily. So had Frank and Alice. They were all in the same boat. Harry had just survived a killing curse, which was impossible, but apparently not. He realized that he’d been silent for too long. She would notice, as she always did, that something was amiss. So before she could say anything, he spoke up instead.
“There’s something… we need to talk about,” he told her gently. “It’s not… bad. It’s not good either. It just is, and I promised someone I would keep it a secret, but I can’t keep secrets from you.”
--
“Edgar? What is it?” As he suspected, she knew something was wrong almost immediately. He never seemed like this and now he was refusing to look at her with that same cocky look he always got when talking about the end of the war. Granted they’d just lost his parents and she knew he was hurting but still. This wasn’t Edgar. Edgar was an endlessly reckless and self-confident person and the man before her seemed so unsure and almost as if he was hiding something from her but that couldn’t be right.
They never had secrets from one another. She even knew about the Order even though she wasn’t in it. Perhaps not everything because she chose not to ask him, but she knew he was in it. Cate went to speak but he beat her to it as he spoke saying that they needed to talk? Then continued and the more he did the more ominous it sounded. Especially as he said that while not bad it wasn’t good either. How could something that made him seem like this about it not be bad? She didn’t believe that for a second.
“What is it?” Unsure what to think, a thousand things went through her mind. Had someone else died? Had her parents set them up? Had they told the Lestrange’s where to find the Bones family? Was she somehow responsible for it because of them? “Is it about your parents? Or the kids…..you’re scaring me a bit. What’s going on?”
--
It was hard to even talk about. It still felt like a bad dream and sounded just as crazy as one. Edgar was certain he didn’t know how to start this conversation. How had Harry done it? He could hardly remember at this point, but he knew he hadn’t believed it at first. Maybe Cate would think he’d gone mad or something. He couldn’t have that. So he hesitated, for the first time in however long--he couldn’t remember--Edgar Bones hesitated, and he knew damn well Cate would see right through that and realize something was wrong.
“I… okay,” he said with a sigh. “No. it’s not about them. Do you know that trainee that’s been hanging around a lot? Porter. I think I’ve told you about him. Bright kid, the one from Durmstrang?”
He searched her face for acceptance and understanding. He wished he could tell her right out and have it not be weird. He wished it wouldn’t be hard to believe, but he knew it would be. He knew he was acting weird and he didn’t mean to scare her, but it was also something they needed to talk about. He was tired of hiding from her.