Lexa & Clarke February 12th | A Proposal Ai hod yu in.
PG | references to That 100 Life +
maybe some cuteness overload
The bruises had faded from her face, but Lexa could still feel the little bit of weight from that close call on Atira as she wandered back into the living room she shared with her roommates to find Clarke there - still curled up on the couch with a book and the cats. Her wrist was still wrapped up, but she held a mug of tea in each hand for them anyway. It wasn’t as if Lexa would let a little break get in her way - it’d been a few weeks anyway, she was mostly mended besides the need to make sure things healed properly. Lexa hadn’t talked much about the mission, but they both knew the risks and so that she’d made it home with a few bumps and bruises was what they both expected. It wasn’t a happy thing, but making it back always was. In its own way. And Lexa would do it 100 times over if it meant she got to walk out to see Clarke just there, just reading and relaxed and with their cats and just… here. She was here.
Lexa had meant it, that day she’d pledged herself to Wanheda. She’d meant it, fealty. She’d not totally just been Clarke to her yet, but her heart had been no less in it when she’d bowed. Lexa never bowed, not even now. Only to Clarke. She’d known since that day, known that if she had the chance, the choice she’d…
She’d been just standing there too long and she put their mugs down on the coffee table before she reached down, giving one of the cats a little scritch on the top of their head before it gave her hand a rough little lick and hopped away to sit on the backrest of the couch behind the woman she loved… so very much.
There was a part of Lexa that could have just gently hovered there and watched Clarke be so relaxed, but instead she slipped down onto the couch with her girlfriend. The one she’d pretended not to be so heartbroken over. The one who caused her heart to not want to wait a moment more for anything now that she was here, back. With her. Clarke had pulled Lexa back from a future that was loveless, lacking in companionship, and taught her just how worth it that part of your life was to fight for after Lexa thought’d she lost all of it.
Love wasn’t weakness, it was the single strongest part of you.
Curling up into Clarke’s side, Lexa gave her jawline a delicate kiss. “Think I could pull you away from your book?” She asked softly.
Clarke didn’t like seeing Lexa hurt and that was something that was never going to change. She knew the risks, she knew what their life was here, but that didn’t mean she was ever going to like seeing her girlfriend come home banged up or that she even liked seeing it in Raven or Bellamy. They were her family and she wanted them safe. She would have given anything to make that happen. Clarke was also a realist, though, and she knew the world they were living in wasn’t a safe one. She also knew that none of them could just sit back and cling to their own well-being when people needed them. That would never be who any of them were.
Clarke looked up from her book and smiled fondly at Lexa, shifting so that she could pick up her tea. There was something beautiful in the way the steam rose from the surface. This - just curling up at home with their cats and in this relative safety that at least existed right here - would never not feel incredible to her. After so much fighting, after everything she and the others had been through, it was a miracle in and of itself to have the lives they did here and Clarke would always marvel at every little thing.
Her smile grew as Lexa cuddled into her side and kissed her jaw and she gave a quiet nod in reply. “I think that is a very real possibility,” she said, marking her place and setting the book down on the coffee table.
Lexa’s jade-green eyes watched Clarke as she studied her tea, it was so funny - how much it was the simple moments that ended up being the ones you missed. Sure, memories were often the big things. The first time your hand brushed, the first time you told someone you cared, swearing your loyalty to them, watching them blossom into the woman that sat next to you on the couch. Clarke had been more firsts for Lexa than most people would imagine - she’d loved before, she’d made love before, but Clarke was different. Lexa had closed herself off so harshly after she became Heda that there had just never been the opportunity to feel certain things. And she would never be able to thank Clarke enough for that, for opening up her heart, for opening up her life. There were no words to thank for that, no actions. Lexa was a better person because of Clarke.
Once Clarke had set down her book and settled into the couch, Lexa slunk an arm around her waist. It wasn’t the more glamorous of scenarios - but she’d had something on her mind for several days. Honestly, it had been on her mind before Clarke left but she’d hardly wanted to rush that. But right now, it didn’t feel like rushing. It felt like even though she knew time had passed, it had been a blip. It was a sign, to Lexa at least, that she was so easily able to slip back into this. Slip back into happy and content and curled up with the woman who truly did own her heart.
“I thought,” She said, looking up at Clarke’s face, at that lightly waved blonde hair she was so fond of. “It might be nice if we could do this every morning.” Lexa spoke softly at first, as she studied Clarke’s face. They might as well have been already living together again at this point - but Lexa hadn’t wanted to rush it… not officially.
Maybe she was doing this wrong, but deciding now was the time, because moving back into one of the townhouses wasn’t the only thing on her mind. And she might have been testing the waters just a little bit.
“I think Medical might have something to say about me lounging about with you and the cats every morning,” Clarke teased her girlfriend, knowing fully well that wasn’t exactly what she’d meant. “My instructors would definitely object.”
It had felt strange, at first, being back, but that hadn’t had anything to do with Lexa or how she felt about her. Clarke had lived through more of her time in Atlantis after she’d been unceremoniously sent back to that life. More fighting, more missions and she’d even found love there, but there really was nothing that could eclipse how she felt about Lexa. It had been so surreal, that transition between life in Atlantis and life here, because they were so different in a way, but slipping back into her relationship with Lexa had been seamless. Having Lexa here had made the rest of it - like missing Alicia and Wanda deeply - easier, too.
Living apart was something they’d adjusted to, probably because they rarely actually spent their nights away from each other. Whether it was Lexa at her place or her at Lexa’s, Clarke had never had to really give up that feeling of waking up next to her or having moments like this one, but she had to admit it would be nice to have a place they could both just call home again and she did understand that’s what Lexa was saying, too, even if she couldn’t help teasing a little. She was sure the smile in her eyes would give her the answer she was looking for, anyway.
There was an instantaneous pout on Lexa’s features - she knew her girlfriend was joking, but at the same time. She had the instinct to react. It really wasn’t fair. Clarke could have been entirely serious and not just teasing her and Lexa still would have asked again. And she would have asked again and again every morning until she’d gotten her to agree. But she did know her partner was joking and she was pretty glad that she did, or it mighta crushed her a little bit. But as it was, Lexa could only hold that pout for so long. There was no way it would have lasted on her features, but as it stood, Clarke kinda just gave her a really great opening for what was actually on her mind.
It wasn’t that Lexa wasn’t here to ask her girlfriend to move back in with her. Have their space. Just them and the cats. But she also kinda, well, she was hoping Clarke wouldn’t mind.
Sighing softly, that pout slowly changed into a little smile, that sort of might have become the softest of smirks as she remained curled up there, “Just a shame.” She answered quietly, “I had a gift and everything.”
“A gift?” Clarke’s joking facade slipped a little, her eyes lighting up a little in anticipation. Getting each other gifts hadn’t been commonplace in their lives before coming here. It was a tradition Clarke had grown used to in Atlantis, with her friends there and with Oliver and Madi, in particular, but if there was one thing Atlantis had been lacking, it had been Lexa. More than once, Clarke had wished she could truly share the wonder of that place with her girlfriend, but all she had to share was her sketches and her memories. Still these little things were a part of the life she was building here with her in New York and this life was something she wouldn’t have traded for anything in the world.
“Well, if there’s a gift....” she said, the teasing not entirely gone from her tone. Obviously, the question of moving in together was a resounding yes, but now she was curious and to what Lexa might have chosen as a gift to mark that occasion.
Some people probably would have judged her for making the decision to do this now - but it just kinda felt right. Lexa had had a few ideas of how to ask more romantically, but she was getting sort of impatient. Not in a bad way, but the sort of way where you just wanted to do something, you just wanted to make that move forward. Lexa was impatient with herself, for trying to do this right, for maybe being a little too conscious of how weird things kinda were. Because they weren’t weird, they were just normal again. And she was conscious that it wasn’t like there were second chances on the horizon. She’d maybe thought a little too hard about that too, if she was moving fast for her sake, or was she moving slow for Clarke’s sake, or was she not moving at all because she was jumbling up the two things.
But it felt right, and Lexa knew that she could trust her gut.
It wasn’t the first time they’d been together or out or at a party and she’d had the little box tucked away somewhere. But it was the first time that it just felt right without any preplanning. Reaching into the pocket of the hoodie she had on, she pulled out a little black box. Holding it out, gripped loosely in her fingers she felt her heart rate speed up - though Lexa did her absolute best to keep that little smirk as she teased lightly, “You have to promise you’ll like it.” She said, leaving the box and her hand well within Clarke’s reach.
Clarke had never been one for grand romantic gestures, not at home, not in Atlantis and it really hadn’t changed here. She found happiness in the little, simple things, like curling up with the cats or just sketching the object of her affections from across the room. There were so many things they could do here that wouldn’t have been possible in their own time and world, even if Lexa hadn’t been taken from her when she had. She’d felt it in Atlantis, too, but as much as she’d loved her life there - as much as she’d cherished her friendships and cared for Oliver, Wanda and Alicia, in particular, there had been one piece missing there and that was the woman in front of her. Clarke appreciated the comforts of this world immensely, but in truth this was all she needed.
Even Clarke with her usual head before heart mentality wasn’t immune to the power of this moment. Her pulse quickened as Lexa reached into her hoodie and left very little room for doubt as to exactly what she’d really been proposing. Clarke didn’t need any time to think about her answer to the question that hadn’t yet been fully asked. Her eyes met Lexa’s as she covered her girlfriend’s hands with her own, not quite taking the box yet, but knowing full well what it held. “I can promise you I’m going to love it,” she breathed.
Lexa never would have learned how to truly live again if it wasn’t for Clarke. She owed everything to the woman next to her. Her salvation, the sacrifice she had made, everything was worth it because when Clarke had stepped into her life, she’d reminded her what it was she put all of that energy into bettering the lives of her people for. So they could live - but being Heda, being the One True Commander, being the woman who united the clans. The one who made peace with Skaikru. The one who had seen a reflection of herself in Wanheda. Lexa had learned, through her attachment and affection for Clarke, how to be a person again. Not just Heda, but Lexa. And they’d been able to have a chance at that here and even with the ups and downs and comings and goings and the drama and the attacks…
There was never going to be another woman for Lexa. It was just Clarke and it would have always been Clarke. Her biggest regret in life remained betraying her and she was fully intent and happy to spend the rest of her life proving she’d never do that again. And it was very much what she intended to do.
She had been fairly confident she knew the answer she’d get, but it hadn’t meant Lexa was any less nervous or any less absolutely beaming when Clarke took her hands. Hiding that smile at her girlfriend’s words would have been impossible. Almost as impossible as it was to pull her hands away so she could actually open the little box, the ring inside wasn’t exactly traditional to her understanding - but she didn’t think Clarke would want traditional. The stormy look of the stone had caught Lexa’s eyes and she’d known immediately that was the one, looking down from Clarke’s gaze and to the ring only briefly before she looked back up, she gave her a little look. “You also have to promise to tell me if you don’t like it.” She probably should have, you know, actually asked first. Though admittedly, she was a little less concerned with yeses and nos as she was making sure she’d picked a ring as well as she had a partner.
Lexa could have given her a ring from a vending machine and Clarke still would have loved it, but the look on her face was genuine awe as she caught sight of the ring her girlfriend had presented to her. It was more than beautiful. It was perfect. She was nearly speechless as she looked between the ring and Lexa, as if to silently ask whether this moment was real. It was beyond anything she’d ever dreamed or expected to have. Even now, with as settled as she was in this place, she often felt like she should pinch herself to be sure she wasn’t dreaming it all up.
“It’s perfect,” she breathed finally, when she found her voice again. “I love it.”
The breath had caught in Lexa’s throat when she’d opened the box, it didn’t matter if she was sure of herself or of Clarke’s answer - she was still anxious. Their proximity and the genuine, simple intimacy of the moment didn’t help that either. Her mind was going a mile a minute and wondering if this was the right way of doing it. It wasn’t like she hadn’t already bent the knee to her, and Lexa would have again if it was necessary. She just… didn’t think Clarke needed that. Heda had already willingly bent the knee, shown her devotion, promised Wanheda that she would serve her. Serve her in a way that she had never promised another human being, not ever. She knew it was the right thing to do and she knew the blonde was well aware that if she’d needed that, Lexa would have leapt from the couch to do it.
With a deep breath as Clarke eyed the ring - Lexa’s eyes got wide as she showed a genuine emotion of a woman who just… hoped she’d picked well. There was a relieved sort of little laugh when Clarke finally spoke. “I know I technically haven’t asked…” Lexa trailed off, her eyes moving slowly from the ring up to her partner’s face. “But…” She let out a heavy breath, “Is that a yes?” She did ask, biting her lower lip for a moment before she pulled it through her teeth with a happy - almost tearful - little chuckle as she looked at the woman she loved, “Because if it is, I’d really like to make sure it fits.”
“Yes, of course it's a yes.” Clarke spoke with no hesitation this time, because she was no other answer she could ever give to that question. There was no world or time in which she would turn down Lexa’s proposal and she didn't need to be explicitly asked the question. Clarke didn't need ceremony and she certainly didn't need a bent knee. She'd never wanted to be Wandheda and the last thing she wanted or needed was any kind of sworn fealty. What she wanted was this, them being equal partners in everything. “Kom course Ai na marry Yu,” she said, echoing her answer in Trigedasleng.
She was nodding her head along with the words, her eyes moist, but they were with tears of joy. Maybe life wasn't perfect here. They hadn't completely escaped a life of violence, but it was better. It was still good. Much of that was that she had this second chance with Lexa and that was so much of why it was easier to be different here, to be the person Monty had implored her to be with his last words to her and the others. This life with Lexa and with the rest of their friends, their family was all she needed.
Lexa was pretty sure she couldn’t smile harder than she already was, at this rate her cheeks were going to start to hurt - but she’d take it. Without a doubt or question, she’d take it. Clarke kept proving time and time again that she would turn Lexa’s life upside down - and at each turn it ended up being better than the last. She couldn’t imagine a world where she didn’t have Clarke by her side, even though she’d been gone for a bit, it was so hard to remember how that even felt - because here she was, agreeing to marry her and Lexa felt like she could burst from happiness. Hearing the words repeated in Trigedasleng only made it that much more important, that much more special. Everything they’d been through - and here they were.
Admittedly, she got a little lost in her thoughts for a moment as she just stared happily back at Clarke - suddenly shaking her head, “Sorry, sorry.” She said with a laugh as she turned the box back towards her and took the ring out, leaning over to place the box on the coffee table as she gently took Clarke’s left hand into her own - quietly slipping the piece of jewelry onto her ring finger before taking in a deep breath and moving her hand up to Clarke’s face. ”Ai hod yu in.” She said barely above a whisper before leaning in and giving her fiancee a soft, brief kiss to her lips before simply resting her forehead against the other woman’s.
”Ai hod yu in.” Clarke echoed her partner’s, her fiancée's words before their lips met in that brief kiss, with a smile on her face that was just as wide as Lexa’s. This was a moment Clarke had barely dared to dream about or hope for. It was so simple and sweet, but somehow more than anything she could have imagined.