Who: Teddy & Open or stand alone Where: Cemetery When: 31st August 2016; Evening What: Teddys is having some feels Warning: Feels? It's not the best, he just wanted it out
Edward Lupin
Open
WHERE Cemetery
WHEN 31st August 2016; Evening
WHAT Teddys is having some feels
WARNINGS Feels? It's not the best, he just wanted it out
Teddy traced the familiar etching with his fingertips, seeking physical comfort he was able to get in any other way in this cemetery- or at least in the way he needed it most. He didn't know them. He couldn't possibly know them. They'd died three weeks after he'd been born to them. He knew what they'd looked like; he'd been fortunate in that he could wear their features instead of his own whenever he wanted if he'd wanted to. He'd seen proof of how much they loved him in the short amount of time they'd had together. He knew specific facts and interpretations of events from perspectives that couldn't possibly give him a true picture. He'd heard stories over the years, but nothing in those stories ever gave him a physical sense of who these people were who brought him into this world only to leave. The first of too many to do so. Nothing anyone could tell him could help make them real people, with thoughts and feelings; fears and regrets.
He didn't know them and yet here he was hair his natural black mourning them. Here he was filling them in on how his summer had gone. Here he was talking to them about how he thought his last year at Hogwarts might go. Which NEWTs he was most nervous about. How daunting a task the badge was, and how stupid it was to feel that way when they'd fought a bloody war. Two in the case of his father. He apologised for not keeping his promise of visiting more often. He apologised for not doing more to get to know them. He apologised for allowing life to fly by and not including them more in his journey of growing up.
He spent more time sprawled out on the grass than he'd meant to, especially since he hadn't told anyone where he'd be after his last shift at work. He'd even gone as far as to allude to staying late. He just didn't want to back out of seeing them one last time before boarding the train the next day. Had he told someone; anyone, he likely would have backed out. Changing his mind before his plans ever escaped his lips or fingertips. His parents would never know he'd been there, but he needed to feel the scratch of the etched marble on the pads of his fingers. He'd even snuck them each a shot of vodka in a water bottle to celebrate the aforementioned badge he was still fairly convinced was either a mistake or a long shot of risk.
He didn't want to miss them. He didn't know them to miss them, still here he was pouring those shots onto the earth as the overwhelming emotions of all he could never know won over any logic that would tell him he couldn't miss them.