dahlia is a total (kayo) wrote in repose, @ 2016-01-17 17:44:00 |
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Entry tags: | *text, dahlia haight, jack penhaligon |
[email: jack c]
From: xxxxx@gmail.com
Subject: [blank]
im so fucked.
i thought i had just enough cash to get some food so i wouldnt fucking starve til i collect some more tips at the end of my next shift. i had like maybe ten bucks but i did the math beforehand and thought could treat myself a lil. get some eggs, bacon, peanut butter for toast. the cashier was some judgy bitch staring at me while i counted pocket change but turns out the math was all fucking wrong anyway and i kinda. freaked out? and i just left everything there and walked straight across the street and spent all the pennies i did have on a pint of fucking wild turkey instead and realized that real shitty whiskey named after an animal was still not bacon and that thought made me almost start crying at the register again so i guess thats it. liquor store guy knows me by name so i can never show my fucking face there again.
the worst part is im mad enough at myself to do something real fucking rash right now but even if i want to, i cant. like how fucked is that? i fucked up so bad that im too fucking broke to fuck up again. you know a dealer that takes IOUs? i swear thats just a joke. i could pony up some bank bonds i got instead.
also i guess its been a few months. hi.