Re: [No. 3 to No. 24: Iris & Sam]
Sam was torn between blaming Iris and blaming herself, yeah? She wasn't flailing angry at her sister anymore, and she'd forgiven her, but forgetting was a hard thing when she could still smell Ian's breath in her mouth, yeah? At night, during her nightmares. They'd gotten worse since her therapy started, those nightmares. But she didn't sleep much at night, which was good, and they weren't so bad during the short naps she caught as the baby slept during the day. But none of that blame had anything to do with the police, and she wondered if Cris would make sure nothing bad happened to Iris, yeah? If she asked. Iris was her sister, and Sam didn't want to see her in jail. Ok, maybe she was guilty of some stuff in the eyes of the law, but Sam's entire FAMILY was guilty of stuff in the eyes of the law.
But now, standing there, she didn't know what the fuck to do. Iris was small against the sidewalk, and Sam was trying to hold it together in the dark confusion of a town that wasn't laid out right. She might never make it home, yeah? And that fucking terrified her. Maybe even more than the mob and the dead guy she wasn't gonna think about. So, yeah, she was codependent, fine, but she wanted to be where she felt safe. And where she felt safe wasn't on a fucking sidewalk.
And she didn't know what to do with Iris. Sam stood there, not crying, not shaking, not trembling. She wasn't even fucking rocking on her heels or anything. But Iris was crying, and Iris' shorts were gonna fall off, and Iris was nodding and not moving. Sam, youth and damage, didn't know what the fuck to DO. They couldn't just stay there, with Iris rolled up like a fetus dying outside a womb. Sam kept her hand out a few minutes longer, fingers spread wide, but Iris just rubbed the back of her own neck.
Sam had been strong, yeah? Since this shit began. She'd tried, and she knew she needed to get it together now. To MOVE. Ok. MOVE. She reached down, and she took Iris' hand from the back of her neck, tugged on Iris' fingers. "Come on. Stand up. Come on. Venga. Vamonos. Nos vamos a mi casa. Vamos a dormir."