esther kwon (ekwon) wrote in remains_rpg, @ 2015-10-11 20:40:00 |
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Entry tags: | # past / backstory, danny kwon, esther kwon |
Who: Daniel & Esther Kwon
Where: Honolulu, HI → Austin, TX
What: Memoirs
When: Pre-outbreak, Outbreak, Post-outbreak
01. It was easy to think of Honolulu as an idyllic period of their past, even at the time, but especially in hindsight: it was paradise, literally paradise. Lazy days running barefoot down the street. Napping on the beach. Sharing a bowl of shaved ice on especially hot days. Lining up at the malasadas truck, shifting restlessly from foot-to-foot and waiting impatiently to reach the window. But there were hushed conversations in the kitchen that the kids weren’t privy to. That anxious furrow in Seong-ho’s brow, Mi-suk’s pacing around the dining table, the sealed envelopes and letters from the factory owner, the voicemails from their aunt in Texas. They all flew over the children’s heads. As evidenced by Danny and Etty materialising in the doorway, bringing their parents’ whispered conversation to an abrupt stop. “Etty wants ice cream,” the twelve-year-old announced, with a gravity that would later become commonplace on his face. The ten-year-old was right by his side, her hand gripping at the hem of his shirt looking over at her parents expectantly. Mi-suk watched the two for a split second before a smile spread on her lips. Their issues were brushed under the rug and she stood up thoughtfully. There was still yogurt in the fridge. Pulling the cups out she had put creativity to the test and wrapped wet paper towels around the yogurt before placing them into the freezer. Kneeling next to the kids she ruffled their heads and smiled at them. “Why don’t we watch a movie and by the time the movie is done, we’ll have ice cream.” The kids nodded firmly. “The Princess and the Frog?” “Eugh,” Danny let out instinctively. Mostly because the word princess was in the title. But Seong-ho was a champ at navigating these compromises. “Howwww about,” their father drawled, as if he had to think about it very hard (although he already knew the solution), “we watch… hey, what about Up? You guys wanna see that?” “Yeah!” Etty raised her hands up cheerfully. She had already stolen a pillow from the couch and planted herself on the floor. Looking over at Danny, she pointed and laughed. “Danny’s Russell!” “And you’re Dug,” the older boy shot back, but the kids were already entertained, distracted. Their parents exchanged a look over their heads: long-suffering, a little fond, but there was that hint of tension at the twist of their mouths, the lines of their shoulders. The problems hadn’t gone away. They were still there, still waiting. But it could wait one more night. 02. A door slammed. “You’re late,” Mi-suk said sternly, but only got a glowering look from her son in response. With an audible sigh and eyeroll, he said “I’m not hungry,” and thundered his way back up the stairs. It had been two months, and he still wasn’t fully unpacked: one of his suitcases sat by the foot of his bed, still half-filled with clothes and a couple DVDs. Danny flopped onto his bed listlessly. They’d nagged him over and over to finish putting his things away, but unpacking felt like it would be the final cherry on the cake, the last admission that this was permanent. That they weren’t going to move back to Hawaii anytime soon. That this was, in fact, their new normal. Etty had stuck her head out of her room when she heard Danny slam his door. Slowly she opened it and peeked her head in only to notice him collapsed over his bed. Sneaking inside, she closed the door quietly behind her. “Do you need help?” her voice squeaked out as she looked around the room. Without even bothering for permission, she started opening one of his boxes. “Don’t touch that,” he said, muffled into his pillow. But the words were unenthused, and he didn’t make any particular motion to get up and stop her. It was as though she hadn’t heard him. Looking down at his stuff she smiled. “Hey, it’s the Gamecube!” Etty blinked over to her brother as she pulled the console out. “Why don’t we play?” “‘Cause I don’t feel like it.” The boy wasn’t even thirteen yet, but it seemed he was doing his best to practice at being a sullen teenager. (A presagement of things to come.) But then, after a moment, Esther’s cheery voice seemed to twist at the guilt in his belly. It wasn’t her fault they’d uprooted everything and had to move here. Danny rolled over, shifting into a seated position where he could watch his sister. “Which game?” Etty had been digging through the box looking for a suitable game for the two of them to play. A grin pulled at her lips as she glanced back up at him. “I bet I can kick your butt at Mario Kart.” The girl was already working to get all the needed parts to get the Gamecube working. “But if you don’t want to, it’s okay. I get it. I would also be scared of facing off against me.” “Dude. Don’t even.” He straightened even further, then leaned forward to snag one of the controllers and start uncoiling its tangled cord. “I could kick your butt as Toad.” She couldn’t help but scoff. “As if. Look at you, already scared and wanting to take one of my characters. You know what. Let’s do it. I bet I could beat you with Donkey Kong.” That made him laugh. He’d come home one day and announced to her that his new Austin friends had bestowed him with that nickname; he’d cradled it with him like some hard-won prize. In that moment, it felt like this room would never change: it would always be Daniel, and Esther, teamed up against the world outside. Even if she was younger than him, it seemed like she’d known he needed something—like an unknowing puppy climbing up and licking its owner’s face, sensing some animal distress ghosting beneath the surface. Danny didn’t thank her, not outright. But he did ruffle her hair as he stooped to find the port on the ancient secondhand TV sitting in the corner of his room. 03. Her birthday this year had fallen on a school day again. As she trudged up the stairs with a conglomeration of gift bags and balloons her eyes fell on a neatly-wrapped present left on her computer desk. Etty blinked at the sight of it, almost dropping everything at her door. Making her way towards the box, she had reached over to open the envelope resting right next to it. “To Etty,” she read skimming the card briefly until they reached the bottom signature. “From Danny.” Gently unraveling the present, her eyes widened at the gift. For a brief moment the girl was unsure if she should be livid or impressed. Rushing over to her night stand, the now High Schooler had dug through socks until she pulled out money she had stashed and hoarded away from previous birthdays. On Danny’s desk she had left the bundle of cash with a small note reading: Do what’s right. “Etty, what the hell?” Her brother was looming in the doorway, that familiar frown creasing his brow, a hand clenched around the fistful of cash. “It was a present.” The dark haired girl leaned back on her computer chair to catch a glimpse of her brother at the door. Her eye drifted from his and towards her money clutched tightly in his hand before returning to his gaze. “How was football practice?” He was still wearing his uniform, the fabric sticking uncomfortably to the small of his back with sweat. He’d been on his way to grab a towel and take a shower when he spotted the note on his desk. Danny shook his head. “It was fine. Besides the point, sis. I gave that to you. For your birthday.” The boy’s pride was stinging. Do what’s right: those words were digging beneath his skin, making him uncomfortably self-aware. How could she have known? Etty had been hoping to avoid the conversation. Her gaze faltered from her brother’s and she shifted her stare back into her laptop. Reaching up for the mouse she pulled open a tab she had been on where the price of her present had been listed. She refused to look at her brother, focusing on the headphones. “Look, I--” there had to be a way to say this, “--I know you can’t afford this and while I appreciate the gesture.” She finally ripped her eyes away from her screen and back to her doorway, swiveling in her chair to look at him. “Danny, this is wrong. I don’t want these headphones as much as I want you to be a part of my life. What I really want for my birthday, more than anything, is for you to be okay.” “I am okay,” he shot back, only realising how defensive the words sounded once they came out of his mouth, and hating them as they did. “I’m fine. Aren’t you?” Etty watched her brother for a moment. unable to mask the sadness that had drifted onto her expression. Realizing what she might’ve looked like, the girl was quick to force a smile at him before switching tabs and returning to focus on her laptop. He watched her, watched her watching her screen, while that silence stretched out between them. Uncomfortable and stagnant. Danny exhaled, then turned and left. He didn’t slam her bedroom door behind him; he shut it carefully, then strode off to find a towel. 04. “D-Danny?! Can you hear me?” her voice crackled over the poor cellphone reception. He was pacing the newly cleared-out music room, one hand clapped over his other ear to try to block out the hubbub of the other students talking, chattering, their frightened voices a clamour. He ground his palm into the side of his head, eyes squeezed shut, attention focused on that tiny sound of his little sister’s voice. Trying to isolate it from all the chaos around him. “Etty. Esther. Where are you?” “Fuck,” she whispered. He could hear shifting on the other side. “Danny, listen.” Etty paused for a moment before she could pick up the courage to continue on the other line. “I’m at the mall. I lost mom. I don’t know where she is. Danny-- are they what I think they--” her voice cracked, “This isn’t real, is it?” Danny drew a shuddering breath, trying to calm his heartbeat and breathing. “I barely believed it at first either. Some kine nightmare.” And it had been Persephone, Persephone whose voice had cut right through that incredulous laughter and cut some sense into them, wrestled the football team into some sort of obedient order. “But they are. I saw them at the school. They’re real. Fucking zombies. Where in the mall?” Etty nodded to herself on the other end, forgetting her brother wouldn’t have been able to see her. “Alright,” she whispered again. There was no use crying about it now. “I’m in the Sears. They closed it with that railing thing. There’s some other people here, but--” There was an intake of breath as she tried to suppress her sobbing. “Look, things are getting bad. If I don’t call you back maybe you shouldn’t come for me, okay?” “No.” He didn’t even consider it for a moment. The moment she told him the exact location, Danny had already reached for his long hockey stick, slung it back onto his shoulder, and started striding towards the doors of the classroom. Others watched him go; one girl reached out and snared the fabric of his sleeve, tried to tug him back, failed. “No, I’m coming for you, Etty. You and mom. The mall’s no place to stay, haven’t you seen Dawn of the Dead?” As a joke, it’s a pretty strained one. “We’re getting you back to the school. I’m coming.” There was so much static on the line. It was getting worse, clicking and blipping out every half-minute. “Danny? I can’t hear you.” By the time she had bothered to look at her cell phone the call had been lost. Cursing under her breath she peeked up between the clothes rack and made her way towards the sports and hardware section. He stole another student’s car. He had no idea who it belonged to, but it didn’t matter—it was in the parking lot, it had a full tank, and he bent under its dashboard, sparking the wires against each other until the engine roared to life. E’s lessons came back to him as sharp and clear as if she’d only just taught him how to hotwire. The car screeched and tore down the road, heading towards Barton Creek Square. The mall had become a living nightmare. It was almost exactly like Dawn of the Dead, and the comparison wasn’t a good one—there were far too many people, the infection running rampant, infected people tearing into the non-infected. Fresh off the horrors of the school, Danny felt his stomach rebelling again. Stay calm. Go into the Sears. Find Etty. Get the fuck home. It was a stubborn little litany running through his head, a mission to keep him tethered, and in focusing on it he didn’t notice that that the concept of home had already morphed and slid, becoming ‘Fox Grove’. Shouldering the hockey stick, Danny strode towards the glass doors and into the maw of the store, calling his sister’s name as he worked his way through the rows and aisles. Whenever another feverish, sore-ridden person lurched in front of him, Danny slammed the stick into their head, just enough to drop them unconscious. It seemed almost easy, as he moved in brusque and businesslike movements… but inside, his heart was pounding out of his chest. A hand reached out to grab his shoulder and pull him back and under the cash register. He screamed, whirling with the stick—but her hand immediately went to put a finger against her lips as though trying to quiet down her older brother. “They can hear you,” she whispered quietly while clutching tighter to the baseball bat in her hands. There were fresh bloodstains on the wood, drawing his eye, though she loosed her grip as she reached out to hand him a backpack. Another bat stuck out of it. “I got that ready for you. Just in case, y’know,” she nodded to him. “I’ve got this,” he said at a lower voice, raising the edge of his hockey stick. Similarly bloodied. Then, overwhelmed, the normally-stoic boy dropped all pretense of composure: he threw his spare arm around Esther and pulled her into a crushing hug, despite the fact that they were still in the store, and the danger wasn’t past yet. But she was alive. His baby sister was still alive. Etty seemed a bit shocked by the sudden hug. Her mind had been going at eighty miles an hour trying to grasp the whole situation and make it out alive that the sudden hug had figuratively knocked her off balance. She wrapped her arms around him and clutched against him tightly. “Where was mom?” he whispered into her ear, still not letting go of her just yet. This was a reason in itself to pull away from his hug as she looked at him in the eyes. Etty shook her head and motioned to the mall. “She was in Lenscrafters just there, but when I ran by in this direction from Gamestop she was gone. So I hid in here when they were closing the railing.” The younger of the two frowned. “What if she’s not even here anymore?” What if their mom was dead. What if mom is dead. The words were starting to chase themselves in circles around his head, but Danny forcibly cut himself off before he could follow that train of thought too far. If he slipped down that deep dark well, he’d never climb out. “She’s fine. She’s a badass.” It was the truth. The two of them had definitely inherited more of their steely smarts from Mi-Suk, not their father. But then Danny was looking over his shoulder, his attention snapped back to the area around them. Voice still soft: “I stole a car. We need to get back out to the parking lot, and get back to the school. She’ll know to find us there.” Etty nodded back at him, her grip on the bat tightening. Taking a deep breath she did her best to calm her growing anxiety. “I’ll be right behind you,” she worded out quietly. “Lead the way.” “Fucking Texas,” he said as they looked down at the corpse of a guy in the parking lot, hands clenched around a handgun. Danny had had to arm himself with sports equipment. He shouldn’t have been surprised that your average citizen had a much better arsenal. Etty had knelt down by the man’s side. She was still cautious, even poking him with her bat as she waiting for any reaction. When she was sure to get none, she set the bat down and quickly worked to pry the firearm out of his cold hands. “On the brighter side means we can just pick these up whenever we see them-- which by the look of things should be often enough.” His lips pursed when he saw the gleaming metal now weighing in Etty’s hands. Don’t touch that, he’d wanted to say. It could go off. But the normal rules were suspended, weren’t they? And he was, frankly, glad to have something with them that wasn’t just a melee weapon. Every time another champing former-person got close to him, the hockey stick didn’t seem anywhere long enough to push them away. His hands were still shaking. “Who knew that looting dead bodies in video games would be so accurate?” Danny said, still trying for humour, sounding more strained and sick than anything else. The sight of Esther holding a gun was still bizarre, a strange and unusual image that he couldn’t quite reconcile. “Right?” was the only thing she could reply to him. The gun was heavy in her hands, far different from what she would’ve imagined it to be like. She stared down at the firearm with a frown though she would continue to try and find humor in the situation. “Don’t suppose all those fps games will come in hand, do you?” she tried to laugh, but even that came out awkward. “Makes me wish appa had become more of a Texan. Given us shooting lessons.” Etty pursed her lips, the same wish resounding in her head though she made no mention of it. Making sure the safety was on, she slipped it against her belt. “We can cross the river over there,” she motioned as though brushing what just had happened from their memories. “We’re almost home free.” Home. Home was Fox Grove now. They both thought it was going to be temporary, a makeshift solution. Little did they know. 05. Word traveled quickly around the school about the hanging and while Esther had no clue who the victim might be, she knew very well who would be appointed the executioner. Racing through the halls she pushed her way through, uncaring of whatever hapless sop she might have shoved to the floor. When he came into view her hysterics could no longer be contained. “Daniel!” He craned back his head to look over his shoulder to catch a glimpse of his sister, that raw scream something he’d never, ever heard her do in public. The tumult in the school was loud and deafening today, the students’ faces alternatingly set into grim fury or drawn anxiety. Persephone was already standing in the distance on what had once been a drama stage, her usually sunny expression firmed into sombreness. Danny’s own mouth was pressed tight, and he shook his head, the smallest gesture. The offender was ahead of them, being half-dragged to the stage. “Etty, get outta here.” Her pace slowed as she reached him. Scanning the scene she took a good look at the students that had gathered to watch the public execution, almost casting each and every one of them disgusted glares. Snapping her head back to her brother she shook her head as she stood between him and the stage. “You are not executing a child publically in front of other children.” Discomfort twisted in his gut, but somewhere beneath that initial layer of queasiness, there was steel. “He’s no longer just a child, Esther, he’s a murderer. If we let people get away with that sorta thing, we’ll fall apart. People have to know they can’t do that. There needs to be stability. Even harsh as this is.” And we don’t have the resources to jail people, he thought. It was a cold and callous calculation, but the sort of thing he’d found himself doing more and more ever since their world fell apart. “Etty, we can talk about this later.” Danny wasn’t one for speeches, and he could feel others’ eyes on him, and he hated it. He’d only been able to say so much because it was his sister facing him. Etty had immediately gone to block his way again, standing firm. “Daniel, there is no later. You don’t just talk about this later.” Staring her brother down she did her best to try and look bigger, taller. He kept taking one step forward then stopping, another to the side then stopping, halted by his puffed-up pigeon of a little sister. “If you go up there, you’ll walk down a different man.” Nearing him so that he words could be more private than the spectacle the school was being given, she lowered her voice yet remained stern. “You understand that,” she motioned towards Persephone at the stage, “that crazy bitch is going to kick the chair from underneath him and he’ll have to pray that the impact immediately snaps his neck. Otherwise, he’s going to hang there for a minute or two slowly asphyxiating to death. Do you want his blood on your hands?” “His hands are already bloody.” They’d found a little bubble to themselves at the side of the hallway, finally gaining some privacy, since the others were now more fascinated by the sight of their fellow student being hauled up onto the stage. Where Danny was supposed to be, standing by Sepphy’s side. His face froze even further at Esther’s denouncement of her as a crazy bitch. “Esther, don’t you dare. She kept us alive. She kept me alive. I’d probably have been dead in the locker room with Jason gnawing on my face if it weren’t for her. This isn’t the time. I’m not arguing this with you, it ain’t my call to make besides.” There was a reason he’d never jockeyed for one of the rep positions. He hated carrying that responsibility. He could be the hands; he couldn’t be the brain. It had been then that Etty had stopped. Her shoulders sunk down and she couldn’t bear to look at her brother anymore. “You’re not a dog, Daniel. The quicker you understand that the better off you’ll be.” She shook her head giving the stage one last glance before returning to look at him straight in the eyes. “But what do I know, it’s you and Sepphy against the world, isn’t it?” she wrinkled her nose at him. With that she shoved past him, purposely crashing her shoulder against his as she made her way out of the auditorium. The little girl rebounded off her brother’s side and he took a step back, knocked off-balance more by her resistance than the impact itself. He still felt like the air had been knocked out of his lungs. He looked up at the stage, where the makeshift scaffolding awaited. 06. “Are you two fucking?” Danny choked on his can of deflated soda, spluttering. The legs of his chair tipped forward and hit the floor. “What?” Etty sat across from him, fork playing with her canned peas before she was able to glance back up at him. “I don’t understand. Are you fucking Persephone, is that it?” “No.” His answer came instantaneously, without a doubt. “No, I’m not. Why?” “She’s insane, you get that, right?” Etty reached for her juice box and took a sip. “If she told you to hang me, would you?” Danny didn’t bat an eye this time either. He tsked out of the corner of his mouth, a dismissive little noise. “Are you planning on raping or murdering anyone?” “Good intentions,” she set the juice down. “The road to hell is paved with good intentions.” Her eyebrows knitted down. “You took Mrs. Andrews’ class junior year. Did you not read any of the books she assigned?” “Oh god. This gonna be another Lord of the Flies reference? I’m so sick of people mentioning that book about Fox Grove.” He was kneading his forehead, as if he could physically massage out this headache of a conversation. “It’s not my fault you worshipped cliff notes and never read a damn book in your life-- actually that’s already giving you too much credit.” “I wanted to be an engineer, not a freakin’ book critic,” he grumbled. They’d fallen back into their comfortable back-and-forth patter; he could almost hope that the subject had slid off the radar, that they’d successfully managed to squirm away from the topic of their council president. No such luck. Etty fell back silent. The only sound between them was the clatter of her spoon against her canned food. They had gone on like this for a couple of minutes before the younger sibling shifted in her seat to look back up at Danny. “Let’s run away.” He didn’t even have to ask Where to? He suspected he knew where to: the hospital, and their parents. Back to the safety of apron strings. Danny put his soda can down on the nearest table, very carefully. “Esther. You know you can go to them, and stay with them. If you want to.” The girl across from him shook her head. “No, that’s not what I mean. Let’s hotwire a car, pick up mom and dad and just run away.” A smile formed on her lips as she took on a very nostalgic expression while she played with her food. “It’ll be like a road trip. We’ll go to-- I don’t know. California? Then steal a boat and sail to Hawaii.” Even Etty knew how ridiculous the plan sounded, but there was a longing in her voice. It was one he was reluctant to shatter; he’d slipped into that role of fun-ruiner too often lately, bringing the outside world and all its realisms crashing back in. So, for just this once, he didn’t. “Dad will wear the aloha shirt. Mom will make us spam musubi, which we’ll eat while fishing off the edge of the boat,” he said slowly, after a pause. She blinked up at him almost shocked by his response. Etty was quiet for a moment before a smile spread on her lips and then it turned into a grin. She could feel her throat knotting up and finally had to look back to her food to keep her eyes from burning. “Then Dad will pull out his guitar and sing and Mom will teach us the constellations again.” If her voice cracked, she wouldn’t admit to it. “Let’s run away.” 07. Esther had claimed Danny’s bed for (yet again) another night. With her back pressed against the mattress, her head hung over the edge. Her eyes were focused on her Nintendo DS, the screen casting a white glow on the younger Kwon’s face. A stupid smile had formed on her lips, feet kicking in excitement and for a brief moment she was the semblance of an average teenage girl. Danny didn’t want to disturb that illusion. So he hovered in the doorway for a while, looking in on the little picture of domesticity; if he just squinted his eyes a little, this could’ve been his bedroom back at their suburban Austin home, long-abandoned. Or maybe even the hot, un-ACed house back on Oahu. Recognising that giddy little expression on his sister’s face, however—one that she normally only wore around real-world crushes—he laughed. “Is it Chrom? Again?” Etty was taken out of the illusion as she lowered the handheld down to look over at her brother. She gave him a sheepish grin. “I tried. I tried so hard to go for Gaius or even Lon’qu, but--” Etty shook her head. She dramatically placed the back of her hand over her forehead. “Chrom gave me that look and I couldn’t say no. Seriously, the first cut scene just rips your heart out.” “Eh. I preferred Fire Emblem’s gameplay, but never really got into the matchmaking side of stuff.” He sank onto the mattress beside her, peering over Etty’s shoulder and to the small lit-up screen, his hair still wet from his shower. “My space girlfriend’s Tali’zorah vas Normandy. Gimme an adorable cheerful engineering girl any day.” She didn’t even let him finish before she started shaking her head disapprovingly. “So you’re going to say,” she held the game out so he could look at the screen over her shoulder as she went through the characters in the game, “you wouldn’t date Tharja? Tharja is so cute! If I were a boy, I’d marry Tharja.” Danny blinked down at the screen and the willowy, svelte figure depicted there. His nose crinkled. “Nah, brah. She's hot, but reminds me of the goth kids. Plus she's such a stalker for the avatar, isn’t she? But Tali gets drunk and calls straws emergency induction ports. She’s adorable.” Etty let out the most displeased sigh as she rolled her eyes. “Dragon Age is better, I’m sorry to break it to you, brah.” “Spaceships over swords and magic,” he said firmly. This conversation had an air of cyclicity to it, a familiar patter: they’d been down this road over and over again, wearing it into circles, but that was exactly the cause of the smile lurking in the corner of Danny’s mouth. The familiarity was comforting. Etty tsked. “You didn’t even give Dragon Age a chance.” There was a long pause as she stared blankly at her screen. “I hope one day you find your Tali,” she mumbled. The sentiment gave him pause, voice stilted into silence, as he couldn’t quite figure out how to respond. But then Danny nodded, ruffling his little sister’s head and disheveling her hair, as she snapped back and swatted away at him with her free hand. “Thanks. And you can find your Chrom, and then I’ll give him a lecture and bust him up if he ever hurts you. Deal?” She grinned back up at her brother. “Deal.” |