Leo Russo (redlined) wrote in remains_rpg, @ 2017-04-11 14:00:00 |
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Entry tags: | # 2020 [04] april, leo russo, marc russo |
Who: Leo Russo and Marc Russo
Where: Leo’s bedroom at the sober living community.
What: Leo and Marc continue to mend the broken bridge between them.
When: April 5th, 2020
"Still sore?" Marc asked, leaning in the doorway of Leo's room at the sober living community. After getting released to this place on the 10th, the two of them had been entered into training and testing for what everyone was calling the 'zombie hunter' program run by the medical researchers looking for a virus and, hopefully, a cure. It was a little fucked up, but hey. It sure as hell beat being behind bars. “Beyond sore,” Leo replied as he propped himself up on his elbows, having formally been sprawled out on his bed. “Last time I worked out this hard was when I was in school.” That wasn’t to say he had become lazy over the years, he just hadn’t been put through his paces this hard in awhile. “How about you old man?” He asked with that kid brother smirk that he hadn’t felt comfortable letting slip onto his features for a little while. He and Marc were on better terms now than they had been when they’d been arrested, maybe not back to where they had been before everything, but better terms and Leo would take it. "Been better." That was nothing but the truth these days, as far as Marc was concerned, and on many different points. "Not sure what sucks more, all the therapy or the zombie hunting training we have to do every day." Things with Rebecca and Torrie certainly weren't helping, either. "Guess it all beats jail, though." “Yeah, I suppose it does,” Leo replied with a nod. “I would say of the two options therapy sucks more though,” he added without missing a beat. Physical excursion was familiar, even if it wasn’t the same sort of training he had done as a Firefighter, it still felt familiar in a way that therapy did not. “I mean the training leaves you sore as hell, but it’s not nearly as alien.” And didn’t leave him feeling quite as raw as sitting down with Mina did. Leo still wasn’t certain just what he was supposed to be talking about at therapy anyway. No, that was a lie, he knew what he needed to talk about, he just wasn’t amped up to talk about it. "I'd take prodding at my demons over potential death by zombie any day," Marc countered, though there was no heat or challenge in his voice or words. He just had never been the type to cover up said demons, whereas that was something Leo had always struggled with. "That whole 'I abandoned my wife and son in a dying city and got twisted up enough enough to lose her trust once I found her again' thing, I can manage that." God knew Marc had dwelled on Rebecca enough during the last four years. "But then again maybe it's easier to open up to Kevin than that therapist you have." “Mina? Nah, she’s not hard to open up to,” Leo answered. “It’s just facing all the shit I’d rather run away from that’s the hard part,” If he had been any good at facing said issues he likely would have never traveled down the path he had. Hell, he would have probably been living an entirely different life completely if he were any good at tackling his struggles. “That’s always been my problem though.” Leo finished, despite the fact that it could have gone without saying. Marc knew all his shortcomings about as well as he did by this point. “I mean can’t help but think about what Mercy would say if she found out I was therapy, finally,” Leo mused. Mentions of his ex-fiancee were rare -- mostly because that relationship was a wound that hadn’t ever quite healed -- but back when drinking had been his biggest problem she had encouraged him to get help and he couldn’t help but wonder what might have happened if he had. Would he have even ended up down this road at all? “You know, I blame that thought on this whole therapy thing actually.” he added, because it was mostly the truth. Talking about shit brought up a lot of things Leo had been more than happy to bury. "Therapy has that effect." The two of them hadn't really talked about Mercy all that much, especially back then when it had all gone down in real-time. They just hadn't been close, thanks to the age gap, though Marc often wished he could go back and fix that now that they'd gotten to rely on each other a lot more over the last four years. "Everything okay?" “Yes and no,” Leo replied with a sigh. “Like you said, therapy is good at bringing all your shortcomings and issues right out into the spotlight and that’s probably a good thing,” he scrubbed a hand over his face and tried to order his thoughts. “But I guess I’m just realizing that I made a lot of goddamn mistakes back in Baltimore that I’ll never be able to apologize for, you know?” For all Leo knew Mercy had fallen victim to the outbreak. “And instead of leaving it at that our whole plan had me piling more lies and mistakes onto that, all in the name of revenge.” Hindsight could be a bitch. He didn’t regret wanting to make the Hellhounds pay, but Leo did regret the people who got caught up in their lies along the way. "It maybe wasn't the smartest idea." That had been difficult for Marc to see for a long time, but he'd been snapped out of it by the reappearance of his wife and child. Leo hadn't had something like that happen, and by this point Marc could better understand why Leo hadn't wanted to give that up, even just for an evening. “No, I would say it probably wasn’t,” It might have taken Leo longer to see that, but an arrest, jail stint and therapy with Mina had started to open his eyes to that fact as he pushed aside the anger and need to revenge that he felt. Leo motioned for Marc to go ahead and take a seat if he wanted to and then added. “At least you’re getting a chance to try and make amends with Rebecca, I mean that’s something, right?” He had a feeling his brother had a long road to travel to make up for abandoning his wife and son in Baltimore, but at least he was getting the chance to try and make it up to them. "Definitely something," Marc agreed, sitting down and crossing his arms. "But whether 'amends' is what she has in mind or not, I still don't know." He looked at his brother evenly, thinking back to the fight they'd had just minutes before landing in hot water with APD. "You okay with that?" “With you mending fences with Rebecca?” Leo questioned. “Yeah, I mean, she’s family,” there was a short beat of time as he weighed what else he wanted to say and finally voiced it. “But, I guess I just don’t want to end up the kid brother who you guys only see on special occasions and shit. You, and by extension Rebecca and Josh, are the only family I know for certain I have left…” What Leo didn’t add was after the bridges he had burned with the few acquaintances he had had in Austin, he was fairly certain Marc and his family might be the only people in Austin willing to even be in the same space as him. Marc wasn't entirely surprised to hear that concern voiced out loud -- he'd wondered on and off, lately, whether Leo had been worried about such a thing -- but it was still a novelty to have them discuss their feelings and concerns so openly. Another thing to chalk up to therapy being a relative success. He did his best to keep his expression serious, studying his younger brother as they sat across each other in his room. "I don't really want to do that," he said, hoping Leo would know he meant it. "Besides, I have no idea whether she wants to even be friends, let alone anything more than that. I don't even know if she wants me to see Joshua." Marc shrugged, shaking his head with a slight frown. "I pretty much fucked that all up, but it is what it is. Either way, though, you and me are gonna stay the way we are." It was a struggle for Leo to be this vulnerable about his fear of being an afterthought in his brother’s life again, the pre-therapy Leo would have likely just accepted the fact that it could happen and would have moved on -- but he knew deep down struggling through the uncomfortableness of admitting his feelings and concerns would be better in the long run. Which was confirmed when Marc confirmed that he wouldn’t backslide into being a footnote, his anxiety was alleviated with his older brother’s words. “I don’t know if I can help with the Rebecca situation, but if you need me to I’ll try,” Leo began. “And as cheesy as this is going to sound, I’m really fucking relieved we’re not going to go back to how we used to be.” He smiled slightly and then remarked. “You know mom would probably be throwing a party right now if she saw us like this, all she ever wanted was for us to be close.” "I know," Marc agreed, a smile briefly crossing his face too at the thought. He was morbidly glad that their parents had never lived to see the world the way it was now -- or who their sons had become. "I'm glad we have this, you know. Really." “So am I,” Leo said before his expressions shifted back towards a more serious one as he added. “Really though, if you need someone to talk to Rebecca, put in a good word for you, I can try,” He and Rebecca had never been overly close, but Leo felt comfortable trying to help mend his brother’s relationship with her. "I'll keep that in mind." Marc gave a heavy sigh. "Things are all weird with Torrie, too, after what happened on Valentine's Day. Think I should maybe stay away from women for now." “I mean I can’t really lie, your track record isn’t great,” Leo agreed with a nod. “But neither is mine,” a pause, “With either gender.” He had still yet to work up the nerve to try and contact Ryan and apologize for, well, everything. At this point he didn’t figure his former boss would actually want to hear from him, but that didn’t erase the fact that eventually he would need to apologize. "Might just be a Russo thing." Marc had previously had such good luck with women, too. Just another reminder of how different things were, though his love life was still the least of his troubles. “Might be,” Leo agreed with a solemn nod. A moment’s silence fell and then he asked. “Have you talked to either of them since being released?” Leo had been avoiding contacting anyone, using the excuse of busyness and the limited freedom they had at the sober living home, but in reality he was just being chicken and he knew it. Marc nodded. "I've been texting them both on and off, and phone calls, trying to figure out where I stand." Both of them had needed time to let their anger die down at least a little bit, though Marc had honestly expected it to take longer than it had. "I actually am seeing Rebecca tomorrow," he added. "And Torrie in a few days. So…" He shrugged, shaking his head. His hopes weren't exactly high. "We'll see how that goes." “They’re both willing to see you face to face, that has to mean something,” Leo offered. He wasn’t sure if Marc actually needed the encouragement, but he figured it probably wouldn’t hurt. “Either way, I’ve got my fingers crossed for you,” he paused. “And you know I’m here if you need to talk about things once you’ve seen both of them.” "Thanks." Marc leaned forward to clasp one hand on Leo's shoulder. As uncertain as everything was now, at least they had come out with it still at each other's side. "Same for you, too." |