There's stuff we're running low on here at the hospital and, chances are, there's someone out there that's sitting on a stash they'd be willing to part with for the right price. Now, really, if you were smart, you'd just give me what I'm asking for. Why? The next time you accidentally shoot yourself in the foot or contract Lymphogranuloma venereum (that would be crotch-rot to the laymen), you'll be coming to see me for help. So really, helping me is helping you.
However, you might very well be a responsible, healthy adult not prone to gunshot wounds or STD's, so I have a few things the hospital is willing to let go in return.
If you have any or all of these items, I'll start the bidding at 2 heavy wool blankets, 3 boxes of condoms and a big bag of Skittles; however, I have a few things up my sleeve that I'm willing to negotiate with so name your price and we'll see what we can do. What is not on the table is drugs of any kind or goods provided by the hospital's association with the government, so if you're looking for a fix, keep on stepping.