InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Tonight we dine in Hell!!"

susan bones (sneakoscoped) wrote in refreshrpg,
@ 2015-03-06 19:41:00

Entry tags:

! log, 1998-march, x-character: delilah selwyn, x-character: kevin entwhistle

WHO: Delilah Selwyn and Kevin Entwhistle
WHAT: She's going to tell him everything.
WHEN: Thursday, after this. After dinner.
WHERE: Hogwarts
RATING: HIGH, TRIGGER WARNINGS, CHILD ABUSE, VIOLENCE, LANGUAGE, etc. I need to write more PG stuff jfc.
STATUS: In progress

She had been regretting this all the way to their spot. Her spot. Whatever, the spot. The spot they really met in, the spot they started to become friends. That stupid, abandoned classroom she spent so much of her time now because she was too afraid to be anywhere else, too sad, in too much pain. Everything hurt, not just the sigil that burned whenever Daphne got near, but her whole life. Her head ached constantly, she felt like her heart was going to just stop working at any minute, and like she was going to explode at every turn. She didn't know how to handle this, handle anything.

Kevin was already there when she got to the classroom. She had dawdled, lagged, and even turned back a few times. She needed to tell him what she had gone through, she wanted so badly to get it off her chest. But she had been guarding these secrets for seven years, under threat of losing everything, under threat of death, disapproval, abandonment, violence. She had kept it quiet so that she didn't have to experience those things. She had cut herself off so she didn't have to go through any of that.

And yet here it was, here it all was. With all her careful planning and scheming and lying, gone to shit. She stepped into the classroom, trying to look resolute. "Hey, Kevin." She said softly, before turning to close the door. Lifting her wand, she cast a few enchantments - generally the ones she knew to keep from being overheard, or interrupted, before she put her wand away and sort of stood awkwardly by the door.

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theslychaser
2015-03-07 04:18 am UTC (link)

Kevin had stressed over coming here. He'd agreed to it - and it wasn't that he was obligated to this. He didn't have to come here and listen to her tell him these secrets. He didn't have to know anymore secrets than he was already bursting with. Somebody had to, but it didn't have to be him. But Kevin knew first hand how fleeting friendships forged in Slytherin could be. They came with all these set rules. Delilah couldn't afford to break any of those, so it seemed common sense for her to go to the one Slytherin who didn't have to obey those rules, who was already an outcast, a nobody.

He didn't have to be here, but he wanted to be. He wanted to show her that there were people who existed who didn't believe the things her family and friends believed. Who wouldn't persecute her for them - he needed very much to show her a reality in which she wouldn't be persecuted for any of this. He wanted to personally free her from it. And if he couldn't do that yet, then he would do other things - like listen to her.

Kevin was already sitting on the broken couch in the room, slouching slightly, mentally berating himself, when Delilah showed up. He glanced up, and a lot of things were missing from his face. His usual nonchalance was gone, his easy sense of humor was missing. He looked serious, and it made him look older for just a second. "Hey," he said. Delilah didn't look any better than he'd expected her too, but it reminded him that this had to be a hundred times more draining to her than it was to him. "You want to sit?" He asked, rising to his feet. "I can stand. Do you need anything? I can get us a cuppa going or - or I don't know, I can get you something, anything you need."

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sneakoscoped
2015-03-07 04:24 am UTC (link)

He did look tired, he looked older, he looked... concerned and apprehensive. All the things she felt, too. It almost made her turn to leave. What was she doing? She was killing him with this, wasn't she? He had never had that look, in all the time she had known him - not like that, not how he looked now. And that's what she did. She was giving him that look, she was putting these negative, sad looks on people's faces like she disappointed everyone she ever came into contact with.

He stood, asked her what she needed. So kind, and caring, and if his face matched it she could almost believe that maybe he really really cared about her, and not something else. She still thought he just felt obligated. Like she was forcing him into this position, into this friendship. Into everything. He had been the unfortunate one to stumble upon her father visiting her at Hogsmeade, hear her being called a Mudblood, wrong place, wrong time. He had just been there, and now this is what he got.

"I don't know." She replied, moving over to the couch. She sat down on it, though clearly left enough space for him to sit on too. She pulled her legs up and wrapped her arms around them, setting her chin onto her knees. She didn't look at him, she didn't say anything else, she just sat there quietly for a moment as she took a deep breath and finally started.

"I was in foster care, basically since I can remember. I don't even know even know who my birth parents are." She waited, hesitating, needing the reassurance that he still wanted to hear this.