InsaneJournal

Morag relaxed once she and Lena had put some distance between themselves and the rest of their school mates. Hogsmeade could be fairly crowded, but some amount of privacy was achievable. Hopefully it would manage to remain that way long enough for them to have a decent date.

She glanced around to make sure she didn’t see anyone, then reached out and took Lena’s hand. She gave it a squeeze and smiled at her girlfriend. “Happy early Valentine’s to us,” she said.

“Happy early Valentines indeed,” Lena replied, returning the smile. They were almost completely alone, no one paying the slightest bit of attention to them, but she led Morag a little further away, into a little clump of trees at the edge of the village. “So… I got this for you,” she said softly, holding out the locket. “And I’ve got one too. So we can always have each other close.”

She tugged Morag close, turning her and pushing her gently up against the nearest tree and kissing her lightly. “I love you,” she breathed. “Thank you for being there for me for the mess that’s been my life lately.”

Morag’s face lit up at the sight of the locket. Matching lockets were a lovely idea. She smiled into the kiss as Lena pushed her against the tree. After the kiss, she looked at the pictures in the locket and smiled again before putting it on.

“Thank you, mo chridhe. That’s ‘my heart’ in Scottish Gaelic.” Morag tucked a bit of hair behind Lena’s ear. “Any time you need me, I’ll be there. Even if I might not be there as openly, all the time. But I care, and you can always write me in the journals.”

“That’s… really attractive.” Lena bit her lip, staring wide-eyed at Morag as the unfamiliar words hit her ears. “That you speak Scottish Gaelic…” She gulped. “I like languages. I like you. You’re…” She flushed. “Sexy.”

She pulled away, reaching for Morag’s hand and beginning to lead her, slowly, back to the village proper. “Can I ask you something?” she asked timidly. “I mean… you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to, because I respect you completely. I’m just… curious.”

Morag blushed when Lena called her sexy. That wasn’t a word she’d really ever thought of as applying to herself. “You really think I’m sexy?”

She threaded their fingers together as they walked. Questions stated that way always put her on alert a little. She didn’t doubt that Lena would be as respectful as possible, but she wasn’t sure what to expect from the question that would follow. Cautiously, she asked, “What is it you’re curious about?”

Grinning, Lena nodded. “I do. Especially when you’re blushing like that.” And so saying, she planted a sweet kiss on Morag’s flushed cheek.

Ah, the question. Lena hesitated before asking it, wanting to make sure that there was nothing accusatory in either the phrasing or her tone. “I understand that you’re not ready to be out to the whole school yet,” she said softly. “And you know I would never, ever do anything to go against what you’re ready for. I guess I’m just curious about what, if anything, you’re afraid of? And, and, I don’t ask because I’m going to try to talk you out of it, or through it, or whatever. I just want to understand, that’s all. But you don’t even have to explain yourself to me if you don’t want to. I don’t need a reason to go on respecting your wishes, and loving you.”

She stopped. Ahead of them, about fifty yards away, was the main street leading into Hogsmeade, and she could see fellow students milling back and forth. She wasn’t ready to stop their conversation, or drop their hands, so she detoured them slightly, behind a corner and out of sight of anyone on that street.

Morag took a deep breath. Well, she supposed that wasn’t the worst question that Lena could have asked. “I will say, first, that I never expected to find someone like me while I was still at school,” she said. “For school...dealing with things that might result from people knowing--and by ‘people’ you can guess the sort I mean--name-calling, bullying. I’ve wanted to avoid that for myself.”

She glanced toward the other students in the distance as Lena steered them out of sight. “And with the rest of my family, well. I love them, and they love me, but...they’re fairly...traditional, my parents. And Mother’s in WICCA with all kinds of fairly high-society types, and I know she’s got this idea in her head of the sort of woman I’ll grow into, and I don’t know how much of that woman I can actually be...” She sighed.

“Honestly, I didn’t expect to find someone like me either,” Lena said thoughtfully. “But I kind of feel like… who I am with you, I’m going to be that person no matter what. So for me, I didn’t see the point of hiding anything. But I get what you’re saying.”

Kind of. Lena had never had to worry about things like that. After her own mother had walked out because of Matteo’s “unnaturalness”, her father had gone out of his way to show how accepting he was and would always be.

“You can still have kids,” she said. “And I might not be a boy, but I’m still pretty decent. I come from a good family, not pure, but respectable. My dad has a good job, my older brothers are both at university, and my sister and I get good grades. We’re law abiding, respectful people.” Lena wasn’t exactly enamored of the idea of Morag’s mother. It was nothing against her personally, just a deep seated hurt that had been quietly festering since she was six years old.

“I’ll do whatever you want, M, and I’ll be whoever you need me to be,” she promised. “As long as I can still be me, that is. I just want to be around you.” She pulled Morag into a hug.

“I’m not really worried about the having children part, exactly. I’m the youngest, so there’s a bit less pressure. My sister--Mairead--is married already. She’s twelve years older than I am. She and her husband seem in no rush to produce grandchildren, which seems to annoy Mother a little. Lindsay, I expect, is likely to have children right away whenever he gets married, so that covers the MacDougal name solidly. I just hope he doesn’t marry his current girlfriend.” Morag made a face. “She kept trying to get me to agree to date some of her male friends.”

Morag hugged her back tightly. “You being you works for now. Just do try to keep out of the path of Slytherins.”

“Your brother’s girlfriend tried to set you up with her friends?” Lena asked, screwing her face up slightly. “Ew.”

Her tummy was starting to get growly, so she shrugged and smiled at Morag. “Lunch at Madame Puddifoots?” she suggested. “My, um. my treat, since I asked you on this… date.” It was her turn to blush, and she looked shyly at Morag to see if she was into the idea.

Morag nodded. “She did. It was very awkward.”

She grinned at Lena. “Lunch sounds amazing. And I’ll let you pay this time. Next time, I’ll pay.” She leaned her head against Lena’s for a moment then kissed her cheek. “Lead the way, love.”

Madame Puddifoots was all but deserted and Lena was glad of that. She didn’t want Morag to feel uncomfortable. But the fact that her girlfriend had said “this time” implied there would be a next time, and that made Lena happier than she quite knew what to do with.

When they were seated, Lena glanced over the menu and ordered herself a sandwich. “This is the first time I’ve ever had a date for Hogsmeade,” she said. “But it’s a bit like how things were over Christmas, don’t you think?”
Morag was glad Madame Puddifoot's was mostly empty. It made it feel like they had the place all to themselves. It was nice. She took a moment to look over the menu, then ordered a sandwich as well.

She smiled. “It does feel a bit like Christmas did, yes. More relaxed. And I like when we can do things where it’s just us.”

Lena laughed. “And we don’t have Zoe running around the table aping us and making kissy faces,” she said, remembering her sister’s antics. But remembering Zoe also meant remembering that she wasn’t there today, stuck up at the castle as punishment for fighting with that piece of trash Calliope Travers.

“She told me I should watch my back,” she said just as the food arrived. “Because she’s pretty sure at least some of the Slytherins will be out to get her now, and she doesn’t think they can tell us apart, so some of them might go for me, thinking I’m her.”

Morag chuckled at the memory of Zoe’s teasing them. It was nice to have space to themselves. But it wasn’t good that Zoe’s reason for not being in Hogsmeade was what it was.

She sighed and chewed a bite of her sandwich for a moment. “It’s good advice. I don’t no how many of them would care whether or not they could tell you apart. Some of them would, I think, just be happy they managed to get at one of you.” She looked at Lena solemnly. “Do be careful.”

“I just can’t wait until we’re done with Hogwarts and out in the real world,” Lena admitted. “Despite the fact that we’re supposed to be “so much safer” in the castle, I can’t help feeling like we’re all going to feel a lot more free once we don’t have to rub elbows with those who think they’re so much better than everyone else… When we can just be us, and get on with our adult lives.”

They had been together a month. It was far too soon to talk about plans for moving in together, or if that was even something they wanted to think about. So Lena didn’t bring it up, knowing that it would put unbearable pressure on the two of them. Still, she would be lying if she said she hadn’t thought about it. Coming home to Morag. Waking up to Morag. Cooking dinner together, reading the paper together, climbing into bed together and falling asleep together… Lena couldn’t think of any life more beautiful.

“The food is surprisingly good here,” she said at length. “After the way some of the other kids at school talk about this place, I thought it would be all atmosphere and precious little else.”

“Aye. I’m looking forward to it, too. We won’t be stuck in one place with people who may be poisoners or worse. Watching our backs will be easier.” Morag smiled. “And we won’t have to sneak around to make-out.”

Morag set her sandwich down and looked at Lena. Now seemed as good a time as any to bring up something she’d been thinking about. They were alone, and they had the time to talk. “Can I ask you something? It’s not anything like what you asked me, but it’s...sort of a big question...actually, just. I’ve been thinking of asking you if you’d get a flat with me, after we finish school.”

“You can ask me anything,” Lena started, then trailed off as Morag asked her “big question”. There was a long beat as Lena just stared at her girlfriend, mouth open (thankfully, sans half chewed food). She was half convinced that the words had been part of some fevered dream, and not the beautiful reality she was lucky enough to be living.

“Are you serious?” she asked finally, her whole face alight with happiness. “Yes! Yes, Morag, absolutely I want to move in with you.” Then she bit her lip. “But… what about Zee?”

“I’m serious.” Morag couldn’t help but grin at Lena’s reaction. She felt relieved and excited. “And really, really happy.”

She leaned back in her chair and tilted her head thoughtfully. “With three of us, we should be able to manage something with two bedrooms. So, aye, she can come with.”

“Two bedrooms,” Lena repeated, her voice shaky but thrilled. “And… you and me, we’d be sharing, right?”

Because if that was the case, maybe the “sex” talk was going to come around sooner rather than later. And after the conversations she’d been having with Zoe… maybe sooner was better.

“Aye.” Morag paused. “...we wouldn’t have to have just one bed per room, though, we could have two. Or you could room with Zoe, if you’d rather. I don’t want you to be uncomfortable, if that’s too fast.” Was it too fast? She liked the idea of curling up with Lena at the end of the day.

“It’s everything I’ve been dreaming about,” Lena said. “Falling asleep next to you, waking up next to you…” But still she hesitated. “Sex,” she blurted, unable to figure out how to bring it up subtly.

Morag blinked. That was...not exactly what she’d expected to hear. “Um...what about sex?”

“Does that mean you want to?” Lena asked. She squirmed in her chair. “Because… I’m not ready.”

“Oh, thank Merlin.” Morag ran a hand through her hair and gave Lena a nervous smile. “I’m not ready for that, either. I...don’t really expect to be there by the time we finish school, either. So it’s...it’s good we’re on the same page.”

“Well, that’s the thing,” Lena said quietly. “I don’t know if I’ll… ever be ready.” She sighed. “Zoe and I were talking, and… do you remember a while ago when you said you had thought about seeing me naked?”

Morag tilted her head and leaned back in her chair. That was...interesting. She thought back to that conversation and nodded. “I remember.”

“Well, I haven’t. Thought about you naked,” Lena admitted. “And it’s not because you’re not gorgeous… I just don’t think my brain works that way.” She looked down at her hands, folded in her lap. “When I fantasize about you, it never goes much further than what we’ve been doing.” Finally she managed to make eye contact. “I think I’m maybe broken or something.”

“Oh.” It was a thoughtful, though admittedly a bit confused, sound. Morag wasn’t sure how, exactly, to respond. “Well...I can tell you that I won’t push you toward anything you’re not comfortable with.” That much she was sure about.

“And if I’m never ready?” Lena asked nervously. “It doesn’t mean I don’t want to be with you, live with you, because I do, I do want all of that. I just don’t know about the rest. I wanna cook you breakfast in bed, Morag, and I wanna sit next to you and read quietly, and… I love being around you. You should know that.”

This was admittedly not something Morag had ever really thought about. “Those are the main things, really. Being together, building a life.” While she’d always just expected that any relationship she might manage to have with a woman would involve sex, it wasn’t the only thing that mattered in a relationship. “It’s not anywhere near being a deal-breaker. Sex isn’t everything.”

Finally, Lena allowed herself a smile. “I am looking forward to living with you,” she said. “Oh, there’s Luna! I have to give her the money. Will you wait here for me?” She slid out of her seat and walked around the table, dropping a kiss on Morag’s lips.

Interlude

Morag smiled and nodded when Lena left to give Luna the money. She finished her sandwich as she thought about what Lena had said, then ordered a milkshake to enjoy while she waited. She’d get Lena one when she got back.

Theodore and Draco had had a smart little chat before ducking into the woods and glamouring themselves to the point of being unrecognizable. No sense in making this into too much trouble when all they wanted was to put the bint in her place. Theodore spotted the Renaud girl first, and he set the two of them into motion following her from a safe distance behind in Hogsmeade. First he wanted to be sure it was the right girl -- though if it were the other, what did it really matter? they were both idiots -- but second he wanted to make sure they managed to corner her privately as possible.

Then came the opportune moment, and Theodore stepped out to block her path. "Hello there," he greeted, his voice low but cold.

Lena didn’t know who the two of them were, but there was something unmistakably menacing about the way they stepped out in front of her, and she felt a chill go through her. She didn’t reply, not verbally, but instead tried to keep walking by stepping around the unknown person.

It was going to be easy to teach Lena Renaud a lesson about who was deserving of respect instead of ridicule not just at Hogwarts, but in her very sorry excuse for a magical life. And as sons and representatives of the finest wizarding families, it was important that Draco and Theodore did their due diligence by putting the dozy little upstart in her place.

So, as Theodore indicated Lena’s presence, Draco went round the corner to cut her off. Then he came, replete in his Weasley ginger, stepping directly into Lena’s path to block any exit she hoped to achieve. No matter how their plan got mucked up, he felt safe behind his glamour and instead of saying hello or being otherwise menacing (Theo was doing a great job at that) he simply tapped his wand once and carefully uttered -- “Expelliarmus.”

After her sessions with Professor Black, it wasn’t too hard to shield herself from the spell. Black was more skilled, more subtle and more powerful than… whoever this was, and she had managed to block most of what he had thrown at her. So Lena managed to keep hold of her wand.

“What the hell?” she asked angrily, trying not to let her fear show. “Who are you? What do you want?”

"We just want a word with you, Renaud," Theo drawled casually. He kept his wand at his side. "My friend here just wanted to make sure you were comfortable, not on edge. So if you'll be so kind as to set down your wand." He wasn't stupid. He knew there was no chance she would comply with that. No one would. Unless they were a complete idiot. Renaud might be close, but not enough.

"Surely you're willing to -- talk." A lift of the side of his mouth into what was more of a sneer than a smile.

Draco’s year of private tutoring had, however, gone quite in his favour when it came to the creativity of the hexes he cast. With a sharp flit of his wrist, his next Expelliarmus was silent, and ringed round with a Stinging hex, as the smile never left his Weasley-like face.

“And if you’re not willing to talk, you’ll very well listen. Silencio.”

Morag wondered what was taking Lena so long to get back. Surely Luna hadn’t been that hard to find. She finished her milkshake and stepped outside to have a look around. She walked for a little piece before she spotted Lena. Along with two figures she didn’t recognize. She did, however, recognize that the two interlopers’ postures were threatening, and that all three seemed to have their wands drawn. She drew her own wand and started running toward them.

The silent spells got Lena, and she dropped her wand with a wince, though she managed to catch it on the way down. Of course by the time she’d caught the thing and brought it up into a proper stance, she’d been hit with the Silencio. Indignant, she opened and closed her mouth a few times before casting a furious nonverbal Exomento at the one who had stung and silenced her.

Is that you, Ron? she mouthed. It certainly looked like a Weasley standing before her, but it didn’t really look like Ron, and she was fairly certain Ron Weasley’s mother had brought him up better than this. Then she saw Morag running toward her and breathed a sigh of almost relief. Morag! she mouthed, still silenced. Help!

“Yes, it’s me. Ron Weasley.” Eyeroll.

Exomento? It was a childish hex which was easily cast aside with a slash of his wand. “You are a fiendish and boring little girl who doesn’t know when to remain silent in the company of her betters.This is your warning, you foolish bint. And you only get one.”

Theodore laughed in a sharp tone. "You're unnatural and immoral and don't deserve to have that wand," he breathed out. He swiped his wand with a fierce disarming spell, hoping to send it fast away from her. Maybe he'd even stomp on it on their way by.

The hair on the back of his neck pricked up, and he turned, finding some Ravenclaw running toward them. He scowled and glanced back at Renaud. "Consider yourself lucky your little girlfriend came to your rescue." Of course, Theodore had no way of knowing that his words were, in fact, true. Nor did he care. He jerked his head to Draco and pushed past Lena, jutting his leg out to kick her hard in the shin as he rushed past.

Morag sped up as the threatening figures began to retreat. If they’d hurt Lena...well, she didn’t really want to think about that. She sent a silent Furnunculus at the fleeing figures, hoping it might hit at least one of them.

She stopped when she made it to Lena’s side. Morag cupped Lena’s cheek with her free hand. “Are you hurt?”

Apart from the kick to the shin and the Stinging Hex, which had (unsurprisingly) stung, Lena was fine. And since her assailants had taken off, the Silencio had lifted, which allowed her to say as much to Morag.

“You got here before they could really do anything to me,” she said, voice slightly shaky but eyes dry. No one was around to see them now, and Lena wasn’t at all sure she would have cared if they were, as she flung herself into Morag’s arms. “I was scared,” she admitted. “Really scared.”

Morag wrapped her arms around Lena and held her tightly. She pressed her lips against Lena’s hair and took a deep, shaky breath. “I’m glad you’re okay,” she said. “So, so glad.” If something had happened to Lena...she didn’t want to think about that. She clenched her eyes shut and just held Lena close.

After a little while, she opened her eyes. “We should...probably head further into town,” she said.