InsaneJournal

"I don't know how I feel about this dueling thing of yours now," Sirius sat, dropping onto the sofa in his private rooms next to Remus. "I'm slightly concerned Lena Renaud is going to try and hex my bollocks off." But only slightly. After all, Sirius Black could handle a seventeen-year-old girl. What he wasn't sure he could handle was her unfocused wrath and misplaced anger. He worried a little bit that he might react too harshly back to her, as he already had on paper.

"Do you think we ought to put up some defenses for students who want to treat this as a free for all because of a bad mark?" he joked.


Remus- who was used to Sirius lack of segue by now- folded the Prophet he'd been halfheartedly reading and considered the question for a moment. "I admit, I'm somewhat concerned that she sees this as little more than an outlet for her righteous anger." The righteousness (or rightness) of it, of course, was debatable- but that wasn't the point, at the moment. "But then again, I don't know that you've ever dueled someone who didn't have that sort of motivation, hm?"


"The last time I dueled someone with that kind of motivation, she ended up dead," Sirius deadpanned. A moment later he held up a hand. "Don't worry, I'm not going to make a habit of it." He probably shouldn't have made that kind of joke, but he couldn't help it. Remus had left it wide open. He set a hand on Remus's knee and splayed himself out over the rest of the sofa. "The problem is, I think she'd be a good ally to have if she cared about anything besides herself and her own opinions, however righteous they might be. But until she can get a grip on herself like that, she's only going to make enemies."


Granted, Remus had walked right into that joke, but he still frowned at the punchline. Not that he actually thought Sirius was looking to follow suit, of course- Lena Renaud may have been troublesome, but she was far from being Bellatrix Lestrange!

"I think her sister might be a key to that," Remus offered. "Zoe seems to have a much more level head about things, and the two are close." Perhaps too close, he thought, privately- but didn't say aloud. He'd seen what could happen when close friendships- brotherhood- combusted. "One way or another, Lena needs to figure out that not everyone in the world is out to get her."


"What I'd like to know is what turned her against everyone," Sirius said. He had a lot of his own reasons for turning against his family and his birthright and everything like that, but he couldn't recall ever acting quite like she was. But he was probably blind to his own actions. "Especially Edgar. She said she didn't trust him not to try something. Try what? It's Edgar Bones for fuck's sake."


"Anyone who doesn't- can't- trust Edgar Bones has deeper seeded issues than even I could understand." Remus had been dealing with his own inner demons- and outer ones, come to that- for longer than Lena herself had been alive. He sighed, shaking his head. "If nothing changes, she is in for a very rude awakening in five months, I'm sure of that."


Sirius nodded. "That's what I'm worried about. I don't know how we can possibly stress it enough to these kids that, despite the poisoning incident -- which really is inconsequential when you get right down to it -- they are safest at Hogwarts. The problem is that this is the first time in their lives they've had any reason to feel ill at ease." He rubbed the bridge of his nose and gave Remus's knee a squeeze. "It's not like it was with us, where we'd already lived through years of death and Dark Marks by the time we were their age."


"It's quite a damnable generation gap, that," Remus replied, wrinkling his nose in distaste. "Who would have thought, twenty years ago, that we'd look back on the war and be grateful for the lessons it taught us at such a young age." Perhaps gratitude wasn't the correct word for it, but it was close.

"Now we've a whole class of people who have known nothing but peace, and we can't explain what war was like. It's history- something that Binns prattles on about." He was quiet for a moment, then added, "I feel responsible, too. Our Defense professor knew what he was sending us out to. My lessons with these kids haven't been to that caliber, because I didn't think they'd need it."


Sirius wasn't sure that gratitude was the right word either, but he didn't argue. "They shouldn't need it, is the point. And I'm not so sure they do need it, at least not to the extent we needed it. This is still relatively mild compared with what we went through. But to them it's the end of the world." He groaned at the thought. How were they to teach these kids anything about war when they thought what was happening was war?

He shook his head. "Don't get me wrong. Of course I'm nervous about what's happening. It brings to mind years of bad memories and tension and all that shite. But do I think any of them who are currently here at Hogwarts have anything to worry about right now? No. I don't. Not like we did. Hell, I couldn't wait to be out of this place so I could fight. For them, there's nothing to fight." At least, not yet. And if he and the Order had anything to say about it, there wouldn't be.


"It's very mild," Remus agreed. "There have been all of... what, ten people killed? And yes, I realize that any deaths are not okay, but..." He shook his head. "I'm contradicting myself. But- you're right. When we were their age," nothing like reminiscing to make one feel old, "it was all but assumed that we'd be leaving Hogwarts and joining up on one side of the fight or another. The lines were drawn, and we all knew what role we would play long before we ever sat for our NEWTs."



Sirius caught Remus's hand in his and brought it up to his mouth, holding it tightly in both of his own. "No death is okay, but I get your point. You don't have to backtrack with me." He breathed in a moment and then gave Remus his hand back. "These kids don't have to choose sides. Most of them, at least. All they need to know is that there are people watching out for them."

In a moment, his tone changed. "I'm pissed as hell we didn't watch out for Dirk Cresswell in time. All that bloody talking about it and then no follow through. We can't let that happen again. Same with Dorcas, but at least she had the background for it, unlike Cresswell."


Remus smiled gently at the gesture. "I'm not meaning to backtrack. Just... to sort out my own thoughts, aloud. You just get the benefit of all the parts in between," he added, teasingly- but then took up Sirius' hand once more, just because he could.

"I wonder if they don't think there are people looking out for them, though. They don't know that the Order is still around- nor should they," he added, quickly. "But the DMLE isn't exactly inspiring confidence, of late."

At the mention of Cresswell, Remus frowned. "I don't think any of us realized his... politicking was really garnering that much attention. It's more than a little late for a mea culpa, though."


Sirius struggled to smile a bit at Remus and let him have his hand. "No, there's no reason that they should know about the Order, but they should at least be willing to accept that the staff here is looking out for them. That's one thing I never doubted when I was here. I knew Minerva and Albus and others were here for us. I never questioned it. What happened to make them question it?"


"I don't think they're all so distrustful as Lena," Remus offered, though that was likely not much comfort. "Maybe because they know that we, too, were targeted last term- and, had Lily not caught Lavinia red-handed, we'd have been victims the same as they were. If we were that close to being taken down by a sixteen year old girl, well..." He gestured vaguely with his free hand, not finishing the thought aloud.


He couldn't help but roll his eyes. "It was a poison targeted to make us ill. It's hardly the same thing as the killing curse." Sirius took advantage of his position to move a bit closer to Remus. "As far as we know, it wasn't meant to do any real damage, was it?" For a moment, he couldn't remember if they had brought that up at the most recent Order meeting or not. Maybe they would do that this time around, when they met later that evening.


"But for students who have never known anything of war, a bit of sickness seems just as awful, presumably." And then when people did die, well, then you had something like Lena. "Not that it makes their distrust of us right, but... it's a shift in perspective, anyway. It's not a perspective I quite grasp, no- but then I spend a day or two in the Hospital Wing every month, so, biased."


Sirius grimaced. "Hopefully a bit of sickness is all they'll have affect them," he muttered. "So the question is, how transparent should we be?" It wasn't like he wasn't that way already, to a point, and if his conversation with Lena's sister Zoe said anything about it.


Remus caught the reaction in his peripheral, and pulled his hand from Sirius', under the pretense of running his fingers through his hair. "I think you and I are likely in favor of more transparency than some of the other staff here- Minerva included." Of course, it could be argued that Minerva had more at stake than either of them.


"I like to think that, for the most part, I'm an open book," Sirius said, lowering his voice and turning to better face Remus. "But then again, most of my history has been splashed around on the pages of the Prophet over the years. If anyone has the best placement for transparency, it's probably me."


Remus shifted, as well, facing Sirius properly. "You're likely right on that count. Though today's students are too young to remember that sort of nonsense in the Prophet, and I don't know that you're really a part of Binns' curriculum." Which, Remus guessed, would likely be somewhat of a disappointment to Sirius. "What sort of transparency are you thinking of?"


"I've no bloody idea," he said after a moment, scratching at the back of his head. "Maybe just be willing to answer the questions, like I did with Renaud-the-less-angry today. I don't know." He stretched his head back to check the time. He had promised Fabian he'd drop in before the Order meeting, and he wanted to leave himself enough time, but he didn't have to rush out any time soon.

Sirius looked at Remus again. "I think, besides my hesitation over the other Renaud trying to hex me into tomorrow, your dueling practise is the best idea we've had in a while," he said.


"Minerva will have our heads, if the Board of Governors doesn't, first," Remus replied, but then reconsidered. "But I suppose giving them an outlet to ask the questions wouldn't hurt, if they feel truly like we're withholding information from them." And they were, in some ways. "At least, if we know what they want to know, we can direct things from there?"

Remus nodded. He was still somewhat apprehensive about how the lessons might go, but the idea was sound. And Minerva had approved it. "It was half Edgar's idea, to be fair."


"But the thing is, if we let them ask the questions and then don't answer them, how does that help with this problem?" Sirius huffed a bit in frustration. He did remember all too well what it felt like to be given half-answers or, as Dumbledore was wont to give, confusing answers. "But I also think there are some questions that we just really can't and shouldn't answer. So it's a no-win situation."

He waved his hand a bit. "Right, credit where credit is due I suppose. Bravo, Edgar, etc."


"There seem to be rather a lot of those, lately," Remus quipped, shifting and pressing two fingers to his temple, rubbing the spot gently. Finally, he exhaled, heavily. "Suppose we should head down to Hogsmeade soon? Maybe Lily will be able to sort out some of this professorial nonsense."


That reminded him, again. He leaned over to kiss Remus quickly before standing up. "I promised Fabian I'd pop in round his to chat before the meeting so I should get there. I'll meet you at Hogsmeade. Walk down with Evans, will you?" He stretched and picked up his robes from where he'd discarded them over the back of a chair.


Remus smiled at the kiss, then nodded. "I'll do that. I'd say give Fabian my regards, but I suppose I'll be able to pass them along, myself, later this evening." Standing, Remus leaned over for another kiss- just in case. "Until then."


As he slid his arms into his robes, he let the kiss linger, then pulled back. "I'll see you soon," Sirius said with a wink, then gathered up his wand and headed for the door.