InsaneJournal

After her dismal performance fifth year, Hannah was determined to make a name for herself on her NEWTs. That had meant, of course, nearly two whole years of extra revising- but, as the date of exams loomed closer and closer, she (surprisingly) found that she wasn't as worried about them as she had feared she would be.

It was everything that came after NEWTs that had her worried.

Oh, she had somewhere to stay- Bilius had assured her of that- but… how long would that last? Not that she doubted his hospitality, of course, but she also didn't want to just sit around and do nothing! She could find a job in a shop somewhere, certainly, that shouldn't be too difficult, but… What if she could do more?

Daring to dream was still relatively new for Hannah. Which explained, really, why she was here- waiting to talk to Healer Bones. He was her Head of House, yes, but he was also someone she trusted implicitly- and, for better or for worse, Hannah didn't think he'd lie to her, when she asked for his honest opinion on things.


He’d taken a lunch with Lucy, as he often did on days when she had a Librarian shift at the school; but Edgar tried to keep his breaks brief. After all, injured students waited for no man, and the denizens of Hogwarts somehow managed to get hurt even more during their free time than they did in class; which, when classes involved intricate spells and volatile concoctions, was saying something.

There were wards set up to let him know when he was returning to an occupied office (and more still to let him know when he had to cut his lunch shorter than usual for said occupant,) and so Edgar wasn’t particularly surprised to see Hannah. If anything, he was relieved to observe her apparently in tact.

“Hello, Hannah!” he said, bustling into his infirmary with a smile. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”


Hannah brightened when Healer Bones returned to the Hospital Wing- it was nearly impossible to have any other reaction to the perpetually optimistic man, and for that, Hannah was relieved. "I'm not sick," she offered, quickly- though she had a feeling that Edgar already knew that. "I was just- well- wondering, I suppose, if you had a few minutes to talk?" She bit at her lower lip for a moment, nervously, before she caught herself in the habit and took a deep breath instead.


“Always,” Edgar assured, perfectly earnest. “More than a few minutes. Barring medical emergencies, I’m yours for the afternoon if you need it.”

He nodded toward the more private office at the back of the Hospital Wing, indicating that Hannah should follow before moving to open its door. “Would you like some tea, love? And I’ve biscuits as well, if you’re hungry.”


Hannah followed directions, stepping back into Healer Bones' office. It wasn't the first time she'd been back here, no, but it still gave a sense of formality to the whole thing… Which was, mercifully, relaxed by the offer of- "Yes, tea, please."

Finding her seat, Hannah waited for Healer Bones to settle before she continued- and all in a rush, even then- "I've been thinking a lot, about- after Hogwarts. What I'm going to do. And I just- I'm not sure. I know I should be sure- it seems everyone else is- but... " A deep breath, again. "I've been thinking a lot about Healer Training. I just don't know if I'd be good enough for it."


Edgar wasn't after formality - when was he ever after formality?- but rather the bit of privacy the office afforded. People came into the Hospital wing all the time, after all; talk of matters unrelated to routine injury were better discussed behind the second door, even if Edgar did as a rule generally leave it cracked.

He charmed the kettle to begin boiling and turned to smile at the girl. "Healer training is a great deal of hard work, but I think these past few years you've proven that you can put in effort, Hannah. I think that if you want to succeed in it, you'll be able to from that standpoint. Is it the amount of work that gives you pause, or the type?"


It was a valid question, but one that Hannah wasn't immediately sure how to answer. "I'm not afraid to work hard for it," she offered, after a moment. "I mean- I know it will be more difficult than the NEWTs," which was definitely a daunting thought, "but… Well, it's worth it, isn't it?" This asked as she looked back to him, as if for validation. "I want to do something- well, meaningful, I suppose."


“Yes,” Edgar said softly, sitting at his desk to wait for the kettle to whistle and smiling encouragingly at Hannah. “Yes, I think it’s very much worth it. Anything can be meaningful if you make it so, Hannah, I truly believe that. But I’ll admit that I think healing is a bit more meaningful than most things.”


Anything can be meaningful if you make it so. Hannah's cheeks flushed- not out of embarrassment, but just because… well, it felt so true. Somehow, Healer Bones always knew just the right thing to say. "I don't mind your bias- I think I needed to hear it, actually." She ran her fingers through her hair, tucking it back behind her ears. "Were you nervous, before you started training?"


Edgar had to laugh at that. “Nervous? I don’t think I ate for a full week leading up to the start. Ask Lucy- err, Mrs. Bones, Librarian Bones, whatever you lot call her- if you don’t believe me. I was terrified.” He laughed again, shaking his head. “Hannah, it’s Healing. It’s knowing a heck of a lot about the human body and how to effect it. If you weren’t nervous, I’d say you had no business even considering it. Nervous is good. Nervous will keep you on point, just as long as you don’t let nervous be the only thing you feel about it.”


"That was my problem, with OWLs," she admitted, after a moment. "The nervousness, I mean." Well, fifth year had many problems, but that had been a big part of her dismal showing, back then. She'd been too much in her own head- but that wasn't the case any more. (At least, not with NEWTs. And, hopefully, in time, not with Healing, either.)

Hannah took a deep, steadying breath, and nodded once- definitively- before looking back to Healer Bones. "I'm going to do it. I mean- I'm going to try. Will you help me get the right papers together to send off to St Mungo's? I know they'll need my NEWTs scores, of course, but- I should get my name in to them before that, right?"


Edgar nodded, expression sympathetic. “Nerves are a good thing to a point. And after that point they’re a very bad thing. But I think you learned that with your OWLs, and you coming to talk to me rather than simply trying to deal with it on your own shows me that you’re coping better this time around. I know you can do this, Hannah. And I’ll help you as much as I can.”

The kettle whistled, and he got up again to bustle about with tea things. “Yes. Write a letter of introduction stating your interest, and I’ll add a letter of recommendation, and we’ll send them both off together. There will be an application for you to fill out. NEWT scores will go after they come back, but starting the process now is your best bet.”