InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Yes. Yes what?"

Bela Grace Dunstan (beladona) wrote in refreshrpg,
@ 2015-04-26 17:14:00

Entry tags:

! log, 1994-april, character: bela dunstan, character: oliver wood

Who: Oliver Wood and Bela Dunstan.
What: Seeing each other after a long time.
Where: Diagon Alley
When: Sunday afternoon
Rating: R for probably swearing?
Status: In progress

What the hell was she thinking, setting this up? It was clear from the short responses Oliver gave that it wasn't going to be a particularly easy talk. She didn't really deserve easy though, did she?

Bela sighed as she idly stirred her coffee, waiting for her ex to show. It wasn't until she got there that she realised she hadn't actually told Oliver where in Diagon Alley she'd be, so in a risky move she'd set herself up at an outside table of a coffee shop they used to stop at together, especially when she was pregnant. Bela wasn't quite sure how bad an idea it might end up being yet, but it was the one place that seemed most obvious to find her. Or not.

Coming back to England hadn't been easy, not in the least. She had a lot of mistakes to own up to, but it was worth it. Bailey was the priority, and if finding a way to be back in her life meant that Bela had to endure the hate and upset from Ollie and their friends, well, she guessed that was what she had to do. It didn't mean it wasn't hard, feeling all alone, trying to find ways to even start to fix things, but it was necessary.

Now if she could only get through this talk without making things even worse.

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intothesky
2015-04-26 05:11 pm UTC (link)

Oliver couldn't quite believe that Bela had decided to show up again. It had been over six months since he'd last seen her, and if it were up to him, he didn't want Bailey to ever have anything to do with her mother- she wasn't lacking female influences in her life. Besides, things with Norah were finally on track and the last thing he wanted was for more drama to be stirred up.

Still, he'd made it to Diagon shortly after dropping Bailey off at her grandparents' house. He wasn't quite sure where to meet Bela, but the area wasn't that large, and he could think of only a few places she might stop. He paused a little down the street when he saw her at a table outside of the coffee shop, taking a moment to brace himself before approaching.

"Bela," he started in greeting, moving to join her at the table. He didn't really settle in his seat, but remained sitting up, almost uncomfortably. He fell quiet, waiting to see what she had to say.

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beladona
2015-04-26 06:17 pm UTC (link)

"Ollie..." She said softly, just looking at him, almost in shock for a few seconds. It was strange to see him again, and looking so uncomfortable around her too. It was like the man she used to love wasn't the same person in front of her, and yet... he really was.

Snapping out of it, Bela shook her head and offered an almost apologetic smile as she shifted to the edge of her own seat. "Sorry. Oliver. I guess I lost my right to use that nickname." Along with some other things. "Thanks for coming out. Can I get you a drink?" She was nervous, and it was obvious.

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intothesky
2015-04-26 06:36 pm UTC (link)

Oliver lifted an eyebrow as she spoke. She didn't look much different- he didn't quite know what he'd expected when he'd finally heard from her again. He didn't know what to think, to be perfectly honest. He tensed a little at her use of the nickname, but shook his head as she offered to get him a drink.

"No thank you," he replied quietly. "Don't- whatever. I'll go by either one. Why are you back? It's been months with no word and I don't- I just don't get it. Bailey and I are moving on, we're doing fine. So why?"

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beladona
2015-04-26 07:06 pm UTC (link)

She should have been expecting him to refuse her offer of a drink, but she'd still been hoping, just for those extra few seconds to collect herself again after seeing him.

"Because I'm an idiot... and a coward... and I regret both of those things." Bela stated simply, looking down to her coffee and then back to him. "She's still my baby, and I couldn't bear the thought of never seeing her again, not seeing her grow up. I threw away these last few months, and I can't get those back, but I didn't want to waste more." There were tears in her eyes, and her voice wavered a little, but she didn't let it spill over. She wasn't looking for pity.

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intothesky
2015-04-26 07:14 pm UTC (link)

"Yeah. Yeah, you are," Oliver agreed with her, though he knew it was mean of him to. Wrong, even, rude at the very least. His hands clenched into fists in his lap. "You may have given birth to her, Bela, but you gave her up when you disappeared. I can't let you into her life again if you're just going to run away when things get hard. She deserves better than a mother who's going to leave and just hurt her again and again."

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	beladona 2015-04-26 07:31 pm UTC (link)
	"I know. Believe me." Bela had grown up with her mum popping in and out of her life, and it messed her up. It contributed to her break down after Bailey's birth. "I don't want that for her either. I was young, and immature, and I should have asked for help instead of bottling it up. I know that." She nodded, taking no offense at his words. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

intothesky
2015-04-26 09:24 pm UTC (link)

"You know? Then why didn't you think about that before you left!" Oliver stopped himself, biting down on his lower lip. He knew that he needed to give her a chance, knew that it couldn't be easy. But he was angry. He was angry that she'd given up so easily- he didn't mind that he'd been hurt. It wasn't the first relationship of his to end, but he was angry that she'd given up so easily on her daughter, her own flesh and blood. "I'm not ready to let her see you yet. Maybe I'll let you someday, but right now, I just- I can't. Bailey needs people in her life she can depend on, people who are going to be there for her and support her."

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beladona
2015-04-26 10:18 pm UTC (link)

"I get what you're saying, I get why you haven't let me see her yet, but..." Bela sighed, not wanting to sound like she was trying to force things or threaten him, trying to work out what to say. "Please don't make me wait too long. I'm not asking you to leave her alone with me tomorrow, or sort out some custody arrangement, but the longer this goes on the harder it's going to be, and I wasted enough time. Even if it's just getting coffee and bringing her with you, an hour or two at first."

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	intothesky 2015-05-02 05:00 pm UTC (link)
	"And you should have thought of that before you left," Oliver replied, folding his arms across his chest. He lifted an eyebrow as he looked back to her. "Look. I'll consider it. But I'm just trying to do what's best for her, and I'm not going to have you hurting her again." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	beladona 2015-05-02 06:08 pm UTC (link)
	"I know. I don't know how to prove that won't happen again though." She paused, biting her bottom lip, torn up by it. "I don't want to be my mum. I want to be there for my daughter as she grows up, not an occasional visitor. I won't go away, no matter how pissed you are with me. " (Reply to this) (Parent)