InsaneJournal

Though there was much comfort in which to partake in Severus’s home (the impression of cosiness she had had the first time here had been just as true the second time, even when she was thoroughly disgruntled at the master of the house in question), Lily only paced the small length of the sitting room, at first swiftly and with almost tangible fury, and gradually, as the minutes slowed into hours, with more measured steps. Finally, she stopped and turned on her heel. “I want my wand back now.”

Severus raised an eyebrow at her. "So you can hex me and return to the battle?" he asked, still on edge as he watched her from his spot at the table. His nose and lip had stopped bleeding from where she'd hit him with her head and he'd managed to escape the duel without any major injuries, which was always a benefit. Especially since he imagined he would be brewing late into the night. He had heard his Sectumsempra uttered more than once on the battlefield and not from his lips.

“The battle has got to be over by now, one way or another,” she said grimly, clenching her teeth at the spike of irritation which accompanied the thought. Even from here in the dim lighting she caught a glimpse of a dark dried streak of blood beneath his nose. At first she felt a stab of guilt, which in turn, made her feel angry at herself and then that made her feel angry at him. “We were supposed to meet at a safe house afterwards -- I can’t not check in.”

"Of course," Severus sighed, reality crashing down around him once more and knowing he would have to check in soon as well. He went to the store room, collecting salves and potions and doing what he could to avoid her gaze as he pulled her wand out from inside his robes. His fingers caressed the wood before he held it out to Lily.

She stared at it a moment, then studied his face as if almost finding it difficult to believe it would be that easy after all of this. After hesitating, she reclaimed it, feeling as if a lost sense had been returned to her. “I suppose I should thank you for...doing what you always do,” she said softly, then frowned in consternation. “Even if I didn’t need it and you kidnapped me against my will.”

Severus snorted. "Well, next time I'll be certain to leave you to my colleagues and your own devices." He focused on the potions and salves in front of him. Hearing ones, mostly, and some for pain relief.

The display of potions reminded Lily there were likely injuries on their side as well, and it made her vaguely ill to think of just how bad they were. None of them had expected the night to have unfurled as it did, and she hated the thought that it was something she needed to become accustom to once more. She didn’t know how Severus could stand healing his colleagues, but then he had always been very good at separating thought from deed.

It was a bitter thought, but it was a nightcap to a particularly bitter night whose impact had yet to sink in fully. Her hands trembled slightly, and she squeezed them into fists, clutching at her wand. “Is this the way it is to happen every time we find ourselves meeting like this?”

Severus paused in his actions, looking up at Lily. His dark eyes were full of emotions though he steeled his face to be as blank as possible. "What else do you expect, Lily?"

“I don’t know,” she answered honestly. “I hate the thought I am to expect it at all.” Because it was sheer luck (if it could be called that) they were able to identify each other at all -- next time, she would cast out curses at a sea of masks and not know if the ones that landed would be him, would always wonder if the injuries suffered by her Order members and friends would have originated from his wand. It was an unbearable thought.

"There is no alternative for the moment." His tone might have been even, betraying nothing, but there was a hint of sad resignation and weariness about him as he grabbed a mortar and pestle. Rolling up his sleeves to the elbows, he set to work grinding ingredients for poultices. He had no intent of giving away all his secrets to Lily, but this prep work was not clandestine. "I know what they did to Lestrange and Macnair. They would do the same or worse to me and I am not ready to die at their hands just yet. Or worse."

She parted her lips as if to say something more, but what could she say that she didn’t already know or would change anything at all? It seemed the path into the immediate future was always a railroad and there was no straying from it now. She didn’t want to think about all the next times she would see him, whether he would be friend or foe.

“Goodbye, Severus.” And with that, she braced herself for the cold (now without the protection of her coat, bloody hells) and Apparated to the safe house.