potter; EVAN (potterlings) wrote in reduxpitch, @ 2016-05-25 16:56:00 |
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Entry tags: | !thread, character: evan potter, character: primrose dursley, location: godric's hollow |
who ? primrose dursley and evan potter
when ? wednesday afternoon
where ? the potter house, godric’s hollow
what ? evan needs to measure lily’s attic
status ? complete
In the grand scheme of things, Evan was quite pleased Lily had said it she wouldn’t object to Evan offering to do the attic. Or well, to at least draw up some blueprints for what could be done with it. It was a week since Evan had finished his uni work and it was just really quite boring. He had signed on for cooking classes but those only started next week, and he had plans with Andrew and Daisy but both of those were towards the end of the week. Evan didn’t do very well with having nothing to do, so having a project like the attic conversion was good for him.
After having some lunch, Evan had apparated just outside his parents’ (mum’s?) house. He knew he could apparate inside but since he didn’t live there, that seemed quite rude. Unless no one was in, in which case Evan totally planned to apparate inside. First, though, he rang the doorbell, since if someone was home they’d open the door. When that did happen, Evan nodded at Prim. “I’ve come to measure your attic,” he informed her. “And maybe drink your tea if you’ll offer me any,” he added, since it was unlikely that Evan would turn down a cup of tea if offered.
--
Prim had finally heard from her boss; his owl had arrived that morning informing her that the time away had brought him to the conclusion that it was time he retired and sold the shop. He would be sending her three months pay as a severance and a nice letter of recommendation for whatever endeavour she decided to pursue next. To say it had thrown her through a loop was a bit of an understatement. She had gone to her aunt's office when Lily left for work, but she'd been so distracted that she wasn't any actual use.
She'd only been home half an hour when the bell sounded. She unfolded herself from the overstuffed chair in the sitting room and briefly glanced at her pajamas. Silently praying that whoever was on the other side of the door would not judge her for wearing the more comfortable clothing, Prim pasted a polite smile on her face.
To her relief, it was just Evan, and her smile became more honest as she stepped back, laughing at his comment. "Technically, this is the Potter home, so it's still your attic, too." He might not live there still, but she still considered this his home as much as it was his parents'. "Just tea? Or do you want biscuits, too? Lucas sent me an obscene amount of sweets for my birthday that I am more than happy to share."
--
“Well, I wouldn’t refuse biscuits,” Evan assured her as he stepped inside, kicking his shoes off by the door so he could follow her to the kitchen. She was sort of right, he supposed, it was the Potter home and he was a Potter but Evan felt that seeing how it was Lily and Prim who lived here, it was really their home more than it was his. Just because he had grown up in it, hardly gave him the right to claim it. And okay, Evan was pretty sure that his bedroom looked exactly how it had when he moved out, but he was sure that was mostly because Lily hadn’t gotten around to changing it rather that she expected him to move back in.
Taking a seat, Evan hooked one of his feet behind the chair, watching as Prim pottered around making the tea. “How come you’re home in the middle of the day?” He asked conversationally. Evan was pretty sure Prim worked but then he also had a very warped idea of what people’s schedules were like seeing how his own was pretty lax, but then, he was a uni student. Currently one that didn’t even have uni stuff on.
--
Prim blushed, ashamed at the thought of admitting she'd be let go aloud. It wasn't anything she'd done, despite the random complaints filed against her when she was being professional and customers thought she was being rude. She'd been the model employee. Reaching down the mugs she reserved for when her male cousins came to visit (they were larger), she sighed and arranged them on a tray, readying them for tea before she answered.
"I was fired. Or let go. Whichever the term is for when your employer has decided to retire and sell his shop." She glanced at Evan then away, sure that he would be judging her for the fact that she couldn't hold onto a job at a quill shop for more than a year because she thought she should have been able to. "I've been working as a bit of a legal aide for your mum to help her with any and all suits against The Wandering Eye, but I couldn't focus this morning, so I came home."
The kettle whistled, and she quickly removed it from the heat. "What are you doing to the attic?"
--
“Let go, I suppose is the correct term? It’s not being fired if your place of employment ceases to exist,” Evan said thoughtfully. He didn’t actually think that it in any way was Prim’s fault that she lost her job because her boss had decided to retire. Evan probably wasn’t the best person to judge anyone on their ability to keep a job since he hardly had ever had one (and he didn’t count doing casual work at Sirius’ pub real work, since he only really did it over summers or when someone needed cover). “I imagine mum can use the help,” Evan added with a nod. It was nice that Prim was able to help Lily, Evan wasn’t sure he’d be able to keep the interest if he was to do the same.
At Prim’s question, Evan looked up almost as if he could see the attic from there. “Mum would like it converted into an office-slash-library,” Evan said looking back at Prim. “So I said I’ll do blueprints for it, see what she thinks?” He offered. Evan wouldn’t object doing the actual conversion but he did realise it was a lot of trust to put into someone who didn’t even have a degree. Then again, he did have lots of experience with how much work he had done on Daisy’s treehouse. Albeit, there had been a minor flooding last summer, but he had totally fied that. “But I need to measure it so I know the exact size before I start drawing,” he added.
--
Smiling broadly at her cousin, imagining the possibilities for the attic, she carried the tray to the table and set it in front of him. "That's fantastic," she said with complete sincerity. "It will give her a place to work, so she doesn't spend all of her time at the Ministry." Prim waved at the milk and sugar, silently inviting him to help himself, and returned to the cupboard and retrieved the tray of sweets.
"Lots of sugar to get you through the afternoon." Sitting, Prim cradled her tea to her chest, absorbing the warmth. "Having a place to work here would also make it easier for me or Uncle James to pull her away from it." Blushing again, she took a long sip, taking courage from the hot liquid. "He was here when I got up yesterday. I think he spent the night." Tilting her head, she looked up at Evan. "I hope it means he'll move home soon." She was gossiping. She knew she was, but she hadn't told anyone, and she was forcing herself to be conversational, casual. Or..she hoped it was casual.
--
“Yeah, that’s what I thought,” Evan agreed with a nod. Having a proper office in the house would be good, he thought, especially now that Lily was taking on a larger caseload. He helped himself to the sugar and milk when Prim put it down, stirring it slowly into his mug, before reaching for a biscuit. “This is really nice,” he noted after chewing and just before reaching for another one. “I’ve had so much sugar, I’m probably on the verge of diabetes,” Evan commented thoughtfully but didn’t stop himself from chewing on the biscuit. “Andrew brought be sweets from New York and those are like a coronary in a box,” which they really kind of were. Not that it had stopped Evan from eating far too many of them.
At the mention of James spending the night, Evan raised an eyebrow. “I hope you told them to use protection,” Evan instructed Prim, the blush on her cheeks indicating that she probably had not. This was why Evan wanted a Sunday lunch and an announcement. He wanted to ask his parents all the questions that were highly inappropriate, because why not. “I’m not sure whether him and mum having sex necessarily means he’ll be moving back in soon,” Evan added more thoughtfully. It was hardly as if one implied the other, besides, Evan would probably feel the need to point out to them that moving back in together so quickly was definitely rushing it.
--
"As long as you're eating properly otherwise, balancing your sugar intake with leafy greens, fruits, and good proteins, I'm sure you're fine." She wasn't a medical professional, but she was pretty sure it took more than an abundance of sugar in a couple of sittings to give a person diabetes. She didn't know of anyone who shared their blood who had the disease, so she was sure Evan would be okay. She smiled at the mention of Andrew. She knew her cousin was dating him, but she hadn't heard much about the relationship. If Evan wanted to tell her, though, she was sure he would. "Whatever happens up there, I think she should have a window seat with comfortable cushions for sunny days."
Prim nearly choked on her biscuit and quickly covered her mouth with a napkin while she coughed. "That is not my place," she said evenly as soon as she could speak again. She knew Evan was right. Uncle James had pretty much said the same thing, but she couldn't help but hope. Sighing to make sure her airways were completely clear, she smiled at Evan. "At least things seem to be moving forward. They're not just stagnate and not getting anywhere. And Aunt Lily really seems to be happier than she was even a month ago." She nodded to herself. "That's what's important."
--
“Leafy greens,” Evan repeated making a face. He wasn’t even sure what that was. A green leaf? A thing with a green leaf? Maybe this was why he needed cooking classes. On the bright side, he was definitely going to take some. Perhaps a class would help to account for what was a leafy green or a not-leafy green. Evan presumed. He wasn’t even all that sure how important knowing the distinction was or would be in his cooking endeavours. “Yes,” Evan nodded when Prim suggested a window seat. “I mean, I need to make sure I can reinforce the floor first, but that’s a good suggestion,” he told her honestly. It was, too, Evan was sure that Lily would enjoy that a lot. He could certainly sketch it in.
Evan frowned slightly when Prim choked, but satisfied that she didn’t actually need him to rescue her, Evan shook his head. “Little bit of adult supervision never hurt anyone,” Evan told her teasingly. He was definitely the worst person to suggest adult supervision, but the fact that someone might give his parents the sex talk amused him greatly. Especially if that someone would end up being Prim. “Oh, I’m sure she is happier, I mean, she is getting laid,” Evan said with an actual laugh. Prim was right, though, it was important that Lily was happy. Evan cared for his mum’s happiness a great deal.
--
Prim laughed lightly, amused by his face. "Spinach, broccoli, cabbage. Basically any green vegetable that has more nutritional value than others. They're high in iron." She was going to tease him about scurvy, but the fact that his teeth were clearly intact and his gums weren't bleeding made that joke funnier in her head. She was curious about the work he'd have to do on the attic. It was a good distraction from her own confused thoughts. "Can I watch? Maybe not the measuring, but when you work on the blue print?"
She shook her head. "It's really not my place to supervise my aunt and uncle," she retorted before registering his tone. "But by all means, you should give your parents the talk." She was curious how Evan would recreate the conversation they all had to sit through when they were growing up. Hers with Aunt Lily wasn't that bad, though she had heard others say how terribly embarrassing it could be. "Evan," Prim admonished, laughing even while she bat his arm very lightly with the tips of her fingers. "Though it's true, you probably shouldn't talk about your mother in those terms."
--
Evan wasn’t convinced he knew what the difference between spinach, broccoli and cabbage even was, since they were all just green stuff. Iron, though, that seemed like a reasonable thing for him to need. Maybe he should look into the nutritional value of things once he started learning how to cook it. The contents of food seemed a lot more interesting than the ways one could cook it, Evan thought. “I’m only measuring it today,” he said instead. “And I’ll probably do the blueprints at home since I have a drawing table. It’s not a very exciting process to watch,” Evan admitted. Sure, he found it interesting but Andrew certainly had been mostly bored by watching Evan study and making blueprints was a lot like studying. “I’ll do sketches if mum wants me to, though, so you can help with that?” He offered.
“I don’t want to give them the talk,” Evan said with a wave of his hand before taking a sip of his tea. The idea of someone giving his parents the sex talk was amusing, but Evan didn’t think it would be as amusing if he did it, since literally no one involved would feel particularly embarrassed about it. He had rather successfully given himself the sex talk by looking at books. When Prim said that he probably shouldn’t talk about his mum in those terms, Evan frowned. “Why not? If it’s true,” he asked. It seemed, to Evan, if something was true there was no reason to not say it, mothers or not.
--
Prim cocked her head slightly to the left and smile. "It's probably more fun than watching paint dry," she teased. She conceded, mentally, that it was probably better that she didn't bother him while he was working. She would want to ask questions about the process, what sort of scale he was using--all the things someone researching a character who was an architect might ask. Not that she was writing an architect, but she might in the future. "I'm not much of an artist. I'll leave that to you, and I'll stay out from under foot."
"Nor do I," she laughed. "Can you imagine? I have absolutely no experience with it outside of what they taught me and what's in books." Prim got up to reheat the kettle. She shrugged and looked at Evan. "Saying it that way sort of cheapens what they have, but that's just my opinion. I am a romantic, at heart. I think it should be described with more--fluff and flowers, I suppose." She took the hot kettle to the table and refilled her mug. "More?"
--
“Well,” Evan started with a slight shake of his head. “If you play your cards right, you might get to watch some paint dry, too,” he told Prim almost teasingly. There were a lot of stages between now and painting but if Lily wanted to let Evan do the whole project, sooner or later he would need to paint, and there would be a lot of pain to watch dry, since the attic was quite large. “I more meant that you could comment on what you think the space needs. I can do a few sketches once I’ve established the basis,” Evan explained. He was good with space but he wasn’t too sure how great he was with designing it. His only experience really was Daisy’s tree house and that was a constant work in progress. Presumably Lily might want her attic actually finished.
Evan wondered if one necessarily needed any experience if they had read books, since presumably books actually gave all the required technical information. “Do you think they read books before giving us the talk?” Evan asked, he suspected that they probably hadn’t. Perhaps if they had Evan wouldn’t have had to look up books himself. Then again, he did suppose that perhaps he couldn’t really fault his parents in their lack of educating their kids about gay sex. “Fluff and flowers,” he repeated. “What do you think happens during sex?” Evan asked with a raised eyebrow, before pushing his mug forward when Prim asked if he’d like some more. “Please,” he added.
--
Prim pushed the tray of sweets closer to Evan, a coercive smile playing on her features, as if bribing him for the pleasure of watching paint dry. "That's easy." She propped her chin on her hand a turned a slightly dreamy eye to the ceiling. "I don't have to see the space. One wall of built-in bookshelves and a window seat that overlooks the garden." Yes, those were things she would love, but she believed that a space for her aunt required them, too. A place for her books and treasures. A place to rest and let her mind wander away from the law. "Maybe a nook where she can practice her cello?"
Laughing a little uncomfortably, she shook her head. "They had practice before giving the talk. They had three kids. They knew how it worked." She refilled his cup and set the kettle on one of the doilies before resuming her seat. "I know what people write about," she replied quietly. "I know what I think should happen." She glanced at her cousin then quickly away, unable to meet his gaze while they were on this subject. "I know it's not exactly pretty or dainty, but there are different ways to describe it."
--
Those were all good suggestions, Evan thought, as he reached for another biscuit. He didn’t think himself particularly talented in deciding on the right colour schemes or anything like that, but he was pretty good at providing options. Maybe, once the more technical bits would be out of the way, he could select things and then Prim and Lily could choose. “It’s a big space,” Evan commented. “I’m sure I can put plenty into it,” he added. Lily had said office and a library, but Evan thought that a part left for storage would still be rather useful. Once he knew the exact size, though, he could play around with the blueprints for what would and would not work.
“You mean what people write about it in romance books?” Evan asked. He wasn’t exactly into those sort of books, but he had read one or two out of curiosity. He didn’t really get them, because they all seemed so far fetched in how people acted, everyone always seemed to just read each other's minds and Evan didn’t think that happened in real life. “I’m not sure that’s how it happens in real life,” he added thoughtfully. Then again, he didn’t exactly have a vast pool of experience to draw from, so perhaps it did to other people?
--
Prim's ears rang with the blood that flooded her face, and she had to force her breath out between pursed lips to keep her blood pressure from rising too far. "Yes," she replied, focusing on nibbling a chocolate-covered gummy bear. "From romance books, but I also know the medical terms." She had, though she wouldn't tell Evan this, done thorough research when she'd decided to write romance stories. She'd read self-help books and guides for couples. She devoured the books written by Drachen, but also those by the old Romance authors.
"I know real life isn't like fiction. That romance and sex on pages isn't, necessarily, what happens between two people. But I do believe there are levels of love and familiarity that make what's in the pages of bodice rippers and romance stories possible in real life." By saying it out loud, Prim heard how naive it sounded, and she frowned into her tea. "That's not really how it works, is it?"
--
“I don’t know,” Evan replied honestly when Prim commented that it probably wasn’t how it worked. “I’ve never had a bodice ripped off of me,” he added. Not that Evan had ever worn a bodice but he doubted it was a piece of clothing that was particularly easy to rip off of one. “It probably depends on who the two people involved are?” Evan offered. “I mean, reading romance books probably makes the sex quite romantic? But I’m not sure that’s what it always is? Or has to be?” It seemed like variety was probably more desirable than just... well, Evan wasn’t actually sure what the books really said happened, since he didn’t consider himself particularly well read in that subsection of fiction.
Sipping some of his tea, Evan reached for another biscuit, chewing it thoughtfully. “It’s probably just something you’ll discover when you find someone you want to have sex with?” That seemed like a reasonable presumption. Evan certainly felt like he had a much better understanding now than he had before from only books. Not that that was to say he hadn’t found the books extremely helpful (just not romance books).
--
His response surprised a chuckle out of her, and that alone did wonders towards lowering her blush. She nodded, agreeing with his words. He most definitely wasn't wrong. Even she knew that there had to be levels of chemical compatibility mixed with physical and often intellectual attraction. She knew and understood most theories. She knew them enough to write them. But putting it into practice, she didn't get it.
"But how do you even know?" She leaned back in her chair, folding her hands in her lap to keep from gesticulating while she spoke. "How do you know that what you feel is something more than fondness or the care that you might have for a friend? How can--How do you know what you're feeling is really what you're feeling and not just you deciding something because it's comfortable and easy? And is it supposed to be easy, or is it supposed to be hard? Because I've heard it both ways, and I'm not--I don't…" She stopped talking abruptly, cutting her words off with a huff.
"Sorry. I should maybe cut back on the tea."
--
Oddly, Prim’s question made Evan still a little. He remembered having a lot of similar questions ages ago, before he met Andrew. It was odd to think that maybe he’d have the answers now (except he wasn’t sure he did). He certainly found the idea less confusing. “I think, maybe, if it’s hard? Then it probably isn’t right,” Evan said thoughtfully. “I doubt there’s a formula that tells you what the right way to feel is or how it works for everyone, because I suspect it doesn’t work exactly the same for anyone,” he commented with a small shrug. It certainly didn’t seem to be working the same way for Andrew as it was for Evan and that was in the same relationship, so who knew how others went about things.
“What else would you be feeling if not what you’re feeling?” Evan asked almost confused. He wasn’t sure whether the tea could really take all the blame. “Isn’t comfortable and easy good? Seems a bit odd if you wanted it to be uncomfortable and difficult,” he added, taking another sip of the tea because, personally, Evan didn’t feel this was any sort of time to cut back. “Why? Are you comfortable and easy with someone?” He asked curiously. That seemed a logical place to take Prim’s comments. Unless, of course, it wasn’t, in which case he was sure she’d correct him.
--
His answer was both helpful and unhelpful. On the one hand, she wanted a quick fix, someone to tell her what to do. That was why she'd owled Araminta a few weeks ago. On the other hand, he confirmed what she knew. It wasn't the same for everyone, and she did think these things should be easy, but she didn't know how easy.
"I have spent years ignoring what I'm feeling. It's only recently that I've allowed myself to acknowledge anything negative. So I don't really know how to differentiate between the levels of emotions." Meeting Evan's eyes, she shrugged and sighed. "I think comfortable and easy should be a criteria, but others might argue that it's settling. Like it's the convenient path."
Prim chewed on her lower lip and nodded. "He's been my friend for a very long time, and everything is easy and comfortable with him. But I don't know if I'm making myself belief the feelings are there, or if they're actually there." Another shrug. "The mind is strong and prone to suggestion, even from yourself."
--
Evan didn’t really get that, the idea that one could oppress feelings and then be confused about what they are once released. To Evan feelings were pretty confusing with or without oppressing them first. So perhaps he could relate. “Who gives a fuck what someone else thinks,” Evan said instead, because he was not able to engage with how to recognise and understand feelings, but he did know that one shouldn’t take into consideration other people’s opinions about them. “You should do what makes you happy and not what is or isn’t a convenient path,” he said with a shrug. “Besides, what’s wrong with convenient?” Evan asked. He wasn’t sure there was anything wrong with convenient. Seemed rather straight forward, really.
Right, a friend. Evan was pretty sure he knew this, had perhaps heard Daisy talk about it, but Evan wasn’t very good with gossip, or really, remembering things that didn’t directly impact his life. “What’s the difference between making yourself feel something and actually feeling it? Like... is the feeling somehow different?” He asked almost confused. It didn’t seem logical, surely you couldn’t just will yourself to feel something? “It’s not like your suggesting to yourself that you murder little kittens or something,” Evan commented before frowning. “I assume,” he added because it wasn’t like he could be sure.
--
"I do," she replied earnestly, " I always have. I know it's not logical. They don't have to live my life, so I shouldn't care, but..." Prim shook her head, trying to get a hold over her bubbling emotions. "My worth, for a very long time, was measured based off of my perceived actions, reactions, and behaviour. It has never been that way under this roof, but..but Evan it--it's so hard to break. I have always and will always worry about how you all perceive me and my choices. I fear disappointing everyone to the point of not wanting me. That fear translates into everything I say and do, and I'm going to regret saying all of this later. I ignore what I feel so much that I'm not entirely sure of what I'm feeling. 'Convenient' can have such negative connotations. It's as if you can't be bothered to try. And if it's a convenience, is it fair to the other person?"
She looked shocked briefly then shook her head. "The part of my brain that says things like murdering kittens and setting fire to fields is bad is still fully functional. I don't know the difference. I don't know what it's supposed to feel like, so I don't know if I'm really feeling something or if I'm making it up based on what I should feel, or what I think I should feel." She moved her hands to rest on the table and looked at her fingers. "I recently learned how proper anger feels. It sits in my stomach, becomes a cold knot. I know contentment and sorrow. I know hope, and I am well versed in confusion. But the others? I don't know what they are, Evan."
The problem with repressing thoughts and feelings was that it was difficult to stop the flow of words once it started. "I'm sorry. Very clearly, I don't talk to anyone about this. You came to work on the attic. I should let you do that."
--
As a concept, Evan understood what Prim was saying, he just couldn’t really relate to it emotionally. To Evan it seemed rather clear, if people didn’t do things for you, you shouldn’t do things for them. That, however, didn’t seem to be the way most people thought, and Evan was reminded of the conversation he had with Andrew about his mum. Evan really wasn’t sure why people ascribed so much worth to other people’s thoughts and opinions, especially when they seemed detrimental to their own well being. “I don’t know why disappointing someone is such a horrible thing, since as long as you’re happy that shouldn’t matter,” he said thoughtfully but raised his hand slightly. “But I do get that you might think differently,” he clarified because Evan hardly was in a position to presume that everyone thought (or even should think) like he did, he’d been proven wrong plenty before.
“Do you think there is a ‘supposed to feel like’?” Evan asked curiously. He certainly had thought about it plenty, was sure that he often broke whatever the required or expected social norms were, but it was very rare that Evan got told off for it, and even rarer that he felt bad about it. Shrugging slightly, Evan finished his tea. “If someone makes you happy and being with them makes you happy, I don’t think it matters whether it could be called convenient or not, because the happiness bit is the bit that is important,” Evan informed her finally. He really wasn’t sure what the issue was, since to him convenience did not imply a negative thing. “But, and this is what helped me so I can’t promise it will help you, I made a list about how I felt and that made it much easier,” he explained. Evan had suspected what he might be feeling before making a list but the list had helped a lot.
After a moment’s pause, Evan gave another shrug as he put the mug down on the table. “You’re not keeping me,” he told her honestly, because she really wasn’t. “I’m just not sure whether I’m the best person to talk about this to. Mum would probably be a lot more helpful,” he added. Lily was much better at knowing and explaining emotions, at least in Evan’s opinion.
--
"Because disappointing my parents is what made them not want me anymore," she said, accidentally interrupting the addendum to his statement. Prim pulled her feet into the chair and hugged her legs, resting her chin on her knees but still looking at Evan. It took biting her lip to stop from apologising again. Shrugging with her elbows, Prim studied the table for a moment in thought. "It seems like there is. It seems like there are standards and levels that I or anyone should be following or reaching at each stage of life." She looked up at Evan, feeling almost helpless. "I know life isn't one size fits all, but based on everything society says, I'm behind. I'm so far behind that even if I knew how, I would never catch up."
Her brow furrowed as she took in his words. He was right, but his point raised several other questions. Like, what if she was happy and felt a little differently about a relationship than the other person? What if she was simply another sibling-like person? Those were not questions for Evan. "What sort of things did you put on your list?"
Prim gave Evan a small smile. "Aunt Lily and Daisy would try to help, but they would also expect me to be able to put more of my thoughts into words. And Uncle James and Harry would want to know who I mean. You're a good sounding board, but I'm still sorry I've let slip the flow of words."
--
Evan disagreed with Prim’s claim that disappointing her parents was what had made them--well, be appalling human beings, really. But he had tried to explain that before and she hadn’t agreed then, so Evan didn’t see much of a point of repeating it again. He couldn’t change how she thought, no matter how much he might have preferred to be able to. “Maybe thinking about it as fitting in and catching up is more problematic than actually fitting in and catching up,” Evan shrugged. He wasn’t sure why she wanted so desperately to fit in, since Evan found fitting in rather tiresome and a touch boring, but then, he also didn’t particularly care for disappointing people, so maybe that was where the difference lay.
“Well,” he said slowly, thinking back on the list he had made. “It probably would be different for you, but I listed a lot of things that I did and felt? Things I only particularly care about or do when Andrew’s involved. Like wanting to tell him about everything,” he did a wave with his hands to emphasise that everything really did mean pretty much everything. “Or how I like discussing things with him and want to know his opinion on stuff I’m interested in,” which might sound like they were pretty generic things but for Evan those were things that didn’t necessarily happen with anyone else.
Prim was probably right, Evan wasn’t really expecting anything from her, whether it be thoughts into words or admissions of who she was talking about. “You did give me tea and biscuits in payment, I find this an acceptable exchange for listening to you talk,” Evan teased her lightly. He really didn’t mind, even if he doubted much of what he could tell her would be in any way helpful or perhaps even easy to understand.
--
Again, he wasn't wrong. The problem with what he said, though, was that Prim knew it intellectually but not emotionally. She understood their meaning, how they could apply to her, but she didn't believe them in her heart. She was trying to. She worked every day to try to move beyond her mother's voice in her head, telling her she wasn't enough, that she was getting everything wrong. That her family wouldn't want her anymore if she messed anything up.
If she had a pen and paper, she would have taken notes on his notes, but she didn't, so she tried to commit it to memory. It was all so straightforward. Even as Evan spoke, she was making her own list, one that was better than many of the others she'd written before. She smiled at her cousin, happy that he had someone like that in his life. "I'm very glad for you, Evan, that you found someone who makes you happy."
Prim laughed lightly, relaxing. "You are less expensive than most professional counselors," she teased in return. She still had a lot on her mind and a lot to wrestle with, but she was starting to feel better, and she didn't feel like she would continue to ramble at him. "Thank you for letting me unload all of that on you, Evan." She tapped her temple. "It's still a mess up here, but I needed to get a lot of that out."
--
When Prim said she was glad that Evan had found someone that made him happy, he broke into a wide, genuine smile. Andrew did make him happy and Evan, too, was glad to have found him. “He’s pretty great,” Evan confirmed with a nod. He was. And Evan doubted whether he would be terribly bothered whether someone thought it was out of convenience or not because being happy was a lot more important than what other people thought and Evan really hoped that Prim would come to discover this, too. Unfortunately, he couldn’t do much more than hope, since there was hardly a quick fix, or at least not one he knew of.
“It’s okay,” he assured her with a nod. Evan doubted he was anywhere near as useful as paid help (or even majority of the people Prim could get a free advice from that they knew) but he really didn’t object to tea and biscuits and providing most likely useless advice. “A list helped me,” he told her standing up. “So try it. It might not work but at least you’ll now?” He offered. That seemed like a reasonable thing to presume.
Picking up another biscuit, Evan nodded at Prim. “Come on then,” he said determinedly. “Help me cast some measuring spells,” he added starting towards the kitchen door and on his way towards the attic.